I can't believe how many people are following and favoriting this story! Thank you all! You guys have no idea how much it means to get comments too, so we know what you're thinking and what you want. It gives us great ideas too for future chapters or issues to address, so PLEASE comment. It's been a while since I have written a long fic, and I forgot how much fun this writing can be. After the mid-season finale, this is healing some of my own wounds and I hope it does for you as well. FYI, my Christmas vacation starts tomorrow and it'll be non-stop until after the first of the year. I may or may not have chances to update until after the first of the year, and I don't like making promises I may not keep. So, unless I "see" you all before then, have a happy but evil (lol) holiday season!

CHAPTER 4

A light snow had begun to fall that night. Regina sat in an alcove window in her room watching as the merriment downstairs kept any hope of sleep away. The former residents of Storybrooke couldn't contain their joy at seeing so many familiar faces and the happy reunions were more than Regina could take. She slipped quietly, unnoticed and unseen, from the hall and climbed the stairs to the guest tower.

As she watched snow drift from the sky, she absently brushed her fingers over the space between her breasts. Occasionally she would pause and feel a panic well up when her fingers didn't sense the steady thump of her heart. It was disconcerting to say the least.

In all the years she had been practicing magic, this was only the second time she had removed her own heart. After Daniel and after learning from Rumple, she had removed the beating organ. She watched it in fascination as it beat steady and true, so different from her state of mind, only speeding up as her anxiety and fear grew. Her fingers tightened and the searing pain lanced through her body, dancing along her nerves, urging her to cry out. She refused and squeezed harder, tears spilling from her eyes.

She had been so close. She had been almost able to do it. But she couldn't.

It had been that night that she accepted her situation. This was her life. Trapped in a loveless marriage to a man old enough to be her father and a glorified baby sitter to a spoiled, entitled child that wanted nothing more than a mere plaything.

Tinkerbell had told her of another option, and in her desperation to feel somewhat alive again, she nearly took it. But being told what was destined for her, having it forced on her, was not an option. She wanted a choice. One she freely made. And so she did.

She made the choice to take back her life and make it her own. Looking back, her choices had been the wrong kind but she couldn't feel bad for them anymore. She had told the truth in Neverland to an extent. She didn't truly have regrets, not like Pan thought. She regretted hurting Henry and Emma because they were innocent bystanders in the whole thing, but she couldn't be truly sorry because her actions had brought her the only joy she had truly experienced since loving Daniel – a son and his beautiful mother.

Her family. The one she had made without even realizing it. The one she ultimately chose.

A creeping loneliness washed over her as she thought of her family, wondering what they were doing now. The raucous cheers from downstairs only intensifying her pain and emptiness.

This…this was worse than her curse. This was worse than the 18 years she spent alone in a constant interminable repeat before Henry came into her life. Having no one to share your life with was truly the worst curse imaginable, and now she knew it all too well…again.

Regina's eyes drifted close, the stress of the day finally taking its toll. She smiled softly as an image developed with startling clarity in her mind. She stood between Emma and Henry at an intersection in Storybrooke. There was a moment of hesitation. She looked to Henry and then to Emma, wondering which path they'd take home. With a slight tilt of her head, Emma took her hand and tugged her in the direction of the mansion. Regina sighed with relief and smiled at the small, knowing grin on Emma's face.

They were going home.