A/N: GAH! Sorry for the long wait...originally I wasn't going to post this until I'd finished with the challenge I'm currently working on (which is Linda and Lawrence), but I've been so busy that I haven't been able to work on it. And I felt kinda bad about not having posted anything recently. So, if I'm not done with the Linda and Lawrence one by the end of February, I'll just post the next chapter (Buford and Baljeet) and then work like mad on Linda and Lawrence.

Anyhoo, I really wanted to do a "female and female" challenge, since the preceding challenges were two "male and male"s and a "male and female". So here's Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and her mother, Charlene; it was pretty difficult, since, at the time I wrote this, Charlene had only been in one episode ("I Scream You Scream"—"All Hail Doofania" hadn't come out yet)...but, through a little improvisation, I think I characterized her well enough.

Awkward Tenderness—Vanessa and Charlene Doofenshmirtz

1. Purse

Vanessa never, ever carried a purse, nor had she expressed the slightest interest in owning one. But her mother kept buying more and more purses, sometimes even half a dozen at a time, as though expecting that someday Vanessa might need one...or ten.

2. Devil

In the end, she was nearly two hours late to the party, and there was a sour but mildly amused look on her face as she explained to Johnny that she'd had a rough time convincing her mother that, just because they were a bunch of teenagers hanging out near a graveyard, it didn't mean that they were going to "offer sacrifices to Satan".

3. Outlaw

Very likely, theirs was the only household in the entire Tri-State area to enforce a strict "No-Boy Band" policy.

4. Complaint

"Complain, complain, complain," Charlene snapped uncharacteristically fiercely, interrupting Vanessa in the middle of another tirade against her father. "You hardly open your mouth as it is, Vanessa, but every time you do, does it have to be a complaint?"

5. Enlist

Although not normally one for mind games, sometimes Vanessa would pretend to be engrossed in army recruitment ads, just to see how her mother would react.

6. Feel For

Their relationship was more formal than anything, with neither one entirely willing to open up their hearts to the other; although Vanessa didn't seem to care about that, sometimes Charlene wished that her daughter would talk to her about some boy she liked or some problems she was having, just so she could try to empathize.

7. Couch

Some nights, lying awake in her room, Vanessa could hear her mother's drowsy footsteps pass into the living room, and they almost always came to a halt by the doorway, as though she'd been expecting to see Heinz's lanky form draped over the couch again. On nights like those, all Vanessa could really do was pull the covers over her head and vow to be considerate to her mother the next morning.

8. Invisibility

Vanessa had always been a quiet girl, the type who would rather keep to herself than get involved with others. And as much of a relief as that could be for Charlene, sometimes she had moments where she had to check to make sure that her daughter was still there, and that she hadn't simply disappeared without a trace.

9. Electrify

"I know it's not a toy," muttered the toddler impassively when her mother caught her holding a fork up to a power outlet. "I was doin' a scientific experiment."

10. Foundling

Most children, even those without devious older siblings, have asked a parent at some point in their lives about whether or not they'd been adopted. Vanessa, on the other hand, had never done so—she'd just let that worry fester inside her brain, eating away at her inner being each time she entertained it, long after others would have given the idea up.

11. Prickle

All of a sudden, the hair on the back of Charlene's neck stood straight up, and without a doubt she knew—Vanessa was trying to use the stove.

12. Local

Once, Vanessa had grumbled about how bored she was with living in such a "dead-end town" with "absolutely nothing to do". Only once, though, because that one time she'd complained, her mother had forcibly dragged her to her cooking class every day for an entire week.

13. Custodian

In the end, it had just been the school janitor, and the only reason he'd been following her had been because he'd been trying to return the wallet she'd unknowingly dropped. But still, the sight of Charlene suddenly appearing from behind him and delivering a swiftly incapacitating karate chop to the neck was something that her daughter would never, ever forget.

14. Sponge

It took almost half an hour to extricate the sponge, and the entire time Vanessa had to wonder just how in all the world her mother had gotten it wedged underneath the refrigerator.

15. Indebted

Her mother had always said that Heinz had given her one thing for which she would forever be thankful; it wasn't until she was thirteen that Vanessa caught the look that went with the statement and realized what her mother meant.

16. Gruff

Overall, she thought the world of her daughter, and loved her even more than she had loved her husband at the peak of their relationship. Still, whenever she discussed Vanessa with anyone, it was hard to keep that sarcastic tone out of her voice.

17. Wind

Vanessa just snorted, flipping her hair back as Candace quirked an eyebrow at her. "You think your mom's crazy...when I was three, mine told me if I went out on a windy day without a coat, I'd die."

18. Reception

Some mothers, when expecting company, would thoroughly brush their daughters down and order them to act properly, offering up threats if their conditions were not met. Not this mother; she would just elbow Vanessa sharply and that would be that.

19. Light

Although she knew that her daughter preferred the darkness—and even perhaps because she knew—Charlene would sometimes wander throughout the house and turn the lights on in any darkened room she found. If there was no change, she would turn them back off, but if there was a sharp hissing noise, she would just smirk and walk away.

20. Circulate

Although Vanessa had only dressed up as her mother for one Halloween, and that as a joke, the rumors were still buzzing around Danville about "the witch twins".

21. Frank

Charlene had often praised her daughter for being so candid, and "telling it like it is". However, the comments on her report cards held a completely different stance on that idea.

22. Common

"One in a million"; both said it about the other as much as they could, sometimes mockingly and sometimes sincerely, as if challenging the other to figure out the current meaning.

23. Reincarnation

Suddenly Dr. Doofenshmirtz paused, rubbing his chin as he narrowed his eyes at his daughter. "...You know, if I didn't know that your mother was alive and well, I'd swear that she'd been reborn in your body."

24. Outlast

So Vanessa had been skipping gym class; to some mothers, a federal offense, to others, nothing to be concerned over. To this mother, it was something to make her shove her daughter out the door and, jogging, herd her along the sidewalk, all the while making cracks about "the survival of the fittest".

25. Middle

Even though she only lived with her father on alternating weekends, every time she had to pack up to leave, Vanessa would wonder if she was doomed always to be in the middle, with neither parent wanting her enough to keep her around all the time.

26. Hook

With the bubbly music of Linda's jazz trio echoing in the background, the stoic woman continued hooking her needles through the tapestry of yarn, weaving threads together and heedless of anything around her...until suddenly it hit her that maybe her daughter wouldn't be quite as thrilled with a bright pink sweater as she had originally thought.

27. Descent

"Preparing for drop, preparing for drop," drawled the girl into her cell phone in a perfect monotone, knowing just how much it would annoy her mother. She glanced back up at the sign on the building—"Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc."—and resumed in an even more mechanical voice. "Descent into the Fiery Pits of the Abyss in five, four..."

28. Singular

Truth be told, Charlene had always wanted a large family, a big house with two or three children running amok at any given time just so she could indulge herself in the feeling of pure chaos. And now she was a single mother, living alone with her single daughter; but, as little as that resembled her original dream, she felt that things had turned out perfectly fine after all.

29. Pure

"It's black like the stains on my soul," Vanessa deadpanned when her mother had inquired as to her new choice of wardrobe, and Charlene smirked and replied that she hadn't known that Vanessa's soul had been so clean to begin with.

30. Choice

One thing among many things that the dark-haired girl would never, ever tell her father was the reality behind her living arrangements: she had been asked privately, by the lawyer no less, which parent she would rather live with full-time, and she had unhesitatingly chosen her mother.

31. Gaping

It was the first time Charlene could remember ever having worn such a shell-shocked expression in the presence of her daughter, but it's not as if she could help it; after all, she had seen that television set, and although it was currently blaring some kind of rock concert, mere moments before Vanessa had very avidly been watching EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMMING.

32. Freedom

"Sure you can leave this house the second you turn eighteen. But of course that means you'll be paying your own way through college."

33. Undo

The one always groaned to herself after she'd finished, wishing that she could do it over to make it perfect; the other knew that, although she herself had done several things she would never be proud of, there were some things that shouldn't be erased.

34. Cramped

It wasn't because her mother had asked in a nasty way, because she hadn't, but Vanessa answered snappily in the negative because she was a contradictory girl. The truth of the matter was that yes, yes, those boots DID pinch her legs like crazy, but she wasn't about to say as much aloud.

35. Discontent

"I don't hate you," Vanessa murmured after the door had already closed, cupping her palm over her forehead. "I get annoyed, yes, but I could never hate you."

36. Resuscitate

The offhand remark had at first instigated a short, shrill shouting match, and by the time the night was done they were chasing each other all over the house, calling out sarcastic comments and laughing through it all. But really, how else does a conversation end when it starts with "Mom, would you ever want me to keep you on life support?"

37. Sway

Though they'd only be at the Flynn-Fletchers' for ten minutes maximum, Charlene still led Linda off to the side to mutter a short warning about how her daughter was "a little strange". The true irony there was that, at the same time, Vanessa was giving Candace that exact warning about her mother.

38. Enemy

"Yeah, I know you're Dad's 'nemesis'," Vanessa acknowledged, squatting down to better face the platypus, "but could you please show yourself to my mom so she knows I'm not crazy?"

39. Treacherous

Phone in hand, gesticulating wildly, Heinz paced up and down the length of his lair, the tempo of his steps increasing at nearly the same rate as the beat of his words. No, he had not been seeing another woman behind her back, not that it would matter ANYWAYS because it was none of her business and yes she HAD given up the right to pry when they'd been going through the settlement...no, he didn't care if by "other woman" she meant Vanessa! Besides he himself, who could be so possessive of a daughter anyways?

40. Command

"Sit still, and don't move" had been the woman's command to her three-year-old daughter, and she didn't even bat an eye when the girl instantly began squirming and whining to the point that they had to be escorted from the theater; after all, the mother had hated that movie five minutes after sitting down and would have taken any excuse to leave it.

41. Even Temper

On the day of the split, Charlene had decided that she would never again lose her temper with her daughter; after all, look what had happened when she'd done it with the girl's father.

42. Tonic

Not even an hour after she'd last departed, the woman was back at the pharmacist's counter, hideous bags under her eyes and some oddly-colored, congealed goop spattered all over her hair and clothes. Still, she was able to give the woman there a sarcastic half-grin and inquire as to whether they had the medicine in any flavors besides "yucky".

43. Craze

Vanessa didn't jump from fad to fad like some other teenaged girls; she just picked the one that she liked and stayed with it for the rest of her life. And, of course, it had just happened to be the one fad that her mother had always hated the most.

44. Danger

"We braved the Forests of Fury, the Pits of Peril, the Cliffs of Carelessness, and even the Blazes of Blasphemy," the girl groaned when Johnny found her slumped exhaustedly on a park bench, her dark hair a tangled mess and darker bags then usual under her eyes. "Yup...my mother has discovered role-playing games."

45. Whine

Phineas and Ferb just blinked, exchanging glances before peering back down over the edge of their car on the ferris wheel. Sure, they'd seen a lot of protesting toddlers getting dragged across HappyWorldLand by impatient mothers, but that was the first time they'd ever seen a woman do the same with a teenaged girl.

46. Kindness

There was no need to ask where the mysterious block of fudge had appeared from; since she hadn't delivered it in person, clearly she didn't want the gift to be acknowledged. So Charlene just put it in the refrigerator, a secret smile stretching across her face.

47. Fine

Admittedly, revoking "car privileges" for one ten-dollar fine was a bit extreme...but not when one considers the fact that Vanessa had gotten that speeding ticket in the middle of the driveway.

48. Anniversary

The woman just stuck her fork back into the filet mignon before her, acting as though it was a perfectly normal occurrence for her daughter to be treating the both of them to dinner in a fancy restaurant. ...The force with which her tool met her meat was a sharp reminder that she did remember that it was currently what had been her wedding anniversary, but the arm that she draped around her daughter's shoulders was enough to communicate her sincere thanks.

49. Relish

Each moment without scolding, without insults, was a precious jewel; though they might pretend that the moments were coal, or mud, still, as soon as the other stopped looking, they would reach back into that memory and savor it as though it could disappear in a moment.

50. Resolved

"I love you."

Three words, but to a mother or a daughter, they can mean more than a universe.

"I love you too."

~End~