Author's Note: I must warn you that after reading this chapter, you may not like that direction that I am going in. Trust me though, I've got this whole story planned out and I know where I'm going here. This has all been planned from the get-go.

Disclaimer: After attending several court cases (whilst blindfolded), I have finally been proven innocent of claiming to own 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'. Now, if only I can be proven innocent of murder as well, I'll finally be in the clear, a phrase which he means, "Not guilty of murder or pretending to be Lemony Snicket."

Over my many years on this cruel planet, I have heard the phrase "There's no use crying over spilt milk" quite a few times. Obviously, this idiom is complete nonsense. If you spill some milk on the floor, then there are a variety of horrid things that may happen. You might run out of milk and grieve about the milk that you could be drinking if you had never spilt it on the floor. Your friend might slip on the milk and decapitate him or herself. The milk might stain your favourite carpet and never ever come out, no matter how hard you try to remove it. I have spilt milk countless times of the years and have spent many days crying over my thirsty lips, my deceased friends and my ruined carpets. However, the phrase "There's use crying over spilt milk" doesn't sound as reassuring as the original phrase.

However most people would use this phrase in a more broad fashion. It is used when something undesirable happens and now that it has occurred, there's nothing you can do to make it any better. Clearly, "There's no use crying over spilt milk" is a very gloomy phrase and I'm sorry to say that I will have to use it during this book. For now, I will use this phrase as an example of how one term can mean two very different things. Some people would associate this term with thirstiness, severed heads and ruined carpets. Meanwhile, others would associate it with bad things in general that once happened, cannot be changed.

Like these examples, the word 'shock' has several meanings. It could mean an electrical shock, such as what killed an associate of mine named D. It could mean the failure of the cardiovascular system to sufficiently supply the cells of the body with oxygen. For example, you'd go into shock if you suddenly got hit by a taxi driven by a realtor, or Esmé Squalor would go into shock if she broke a nail whilst lighting a match. Shock is also a stronger word for surprise and this is the type of shock each and every person is the cell – even Phil – experienced when Fernald let them out. It was Phil who spoke first.

"Fernald! I knew you'd come through for us!"

Phil began to perform a complicated dance which I feel no need to describe. Fiona, reluctantly (a word which here means 'hesitantly') walked towards her stepbrother. She didn't want to get her hopes up. That's what happened last time and it only led to disappointment. Fernald noticed this.

"Listen, Fiona. I know what I did wasn't the most noble thing in the world, but you have to understand. During my time with Olaf, I learned more about morality than you could ever imagine. The world isn't divided into noble people and evil people. At times, Count Olaf was a very good man. You were just never around to see it. When we first met, he saved my life. That's how I ended up in his troupe. He was a lot more than a wicked person and if you think that the volunteers of VFD were any better than Olaf, you're wrong. With my own eyes, I've seen them do some horrible things to innocent people. Look... I know what I did wasn't the best course of action, but at the end of the day, we're still family. I guess seeing the Baudelaire orphans still together was what I needed to see that."

Fiona nodded and hesitantly (a word which here means 'reluctantly') moved in for a hug.

Fiona looked up at her stepbrother, "You're really coming back to our side?"

"Aye", replied Fernald, before smiling at Captain Widdershins.

At this moment, everyone began to feel as if some lost hope was restored within them. Maybe if they had not wasted time with the family reunion, the upcoming disaster could have been avoided. Alas, it is not my duty to speculate on what might have happened had the Baudelaires not been so unfortunate. My sad duty is to inform you of what actually happened during these tragic events. The aforementioned disaster began with a familiar laugh.

"Ho ho ho haw haw ha!" laughed the man with a beard but no hair, "You all thought that you could escape by corrupting our henchman? You never stood a chance. Now, get back into that cell or else you'll be punished harshly. My partner in crime is on his – I mean, her - way here right now and he – I mean, she - is bringing the tagliatelle grande with him – I mean, her. We didn't want to subject you to that unpleasant and somewhat sticky experience, but now you leave us no choice. Hoy hoy ho ho haw!"

Suddenly, the whole submarine shook. At that moment, the woman with hair but no beard rushed into the room. She was not carrying a huge noodle, but she had a look of concern on her face. "Someone has sabotaged the submarine!"

"What!" responded the main with a beard but no hair, but it was more of an I-heard-you-but-can't-believe-what-you-just-said kind of what, rather than an I'm-sorry-could-you-please-repeat-what-you-just-said kind of what.

"It's definitely sabotage. The damage is too perfect to be an accident. I looked everywhere but can't see anyone else here", the woman told him. "We're going to sink right to the bottom on the ocean and we'll be too far down to swim back up. If we want to escape, we have to leave now and hope that land is nearby."

Again, the submarine referred to as the Great Unknown shook once again and this this, a piece of metal near the ceiling almost came crashing down, making everyone in the submarine flinch.

The man with a beard but no hair pointed at Fernald. "What have you done!" he screamed at him.

"I didn't do anything!" Fernald replied hastily.

From my research, I can conclude that Fernald was being honest. Nobody in the submarine noticed that the submarine's radar was showing a strange phenomenon represented by the image of an eye approaching the Great Unknown and later, moving away from it. While Fernald and the two villains were arguing, Klaus looked at Violet.

"We don't have time to argue with them. We have got to get out now. Not only for us, but for Beatrice." Violet nodded in agreement.

Violet, Klaus and Sunny walked out of the room with Beatrice held tightly in Violet's arms. Once they left the room, they looked over their shoulders looked over at the Quagmires and the rest of their friends. Violet called out to them, in attempt to get them to follow.

"Quigley! Duncan!"

The three Quagmires, Hector, Fiona, Phil and Captain Widdershins all looked over at the Baudelaires, but by pure chance the submarine shook again, this time more vigorously. The huge piece of machinery, which I previously mentioned, landed right in front of the door. Hector and Captain Widdershins were quick to run over to the huge lump of metal and tried to push it out of the way, but to no avail.

"We're trapped!" exclaimed the man with a beard but no hair.

"What do we do?" asked Fernald.

"Help!" cried Isadora instinctively.

Phil took his optimism to a whole new level by casually saying, "Oh well, it could be worse."

Duncan looked at Phil as if he were insane. "HOW!"

Phil wasted no time replying, "It's better to die than to never have lived at all."

Outside the room, Violet looked at her brother. "We have to leave now. Before the submarine sinks right to the sea floor."

"What about the others?"

"There's nothing we can do!"

Violet pulled her siblings over to the the hatch from which they had entered. Klaus particularly was unwilling to go. "We can't just leave them!"

Violet opened the hatch as Klaus cried out, "Fiona!"

Klaus heard Fiona's voice for what might be the last time. "Klaus!"

The submarine shook for a fourth time as Violet pulled her brother up the hatch and on this miserable day, the four orphans left the Great Unknown just in time to save there lives. The sea was now very calm and the storm had passed. The orphans noticed that there was land quite nearby. Violet wouldn't have been able to swim whilst holding the still-unconscious Beatrice, so the Baudelaires silently and passively floated on the calm water, waiting for the gentle waves to push them towards the shore. It was only when they reached the shore when the noticed exactly where they were.

Eventually, the Baudelaires ended up right where their troubles had started. For the first time in over a year, Violet, Klaus and Sunny stood on Briny Beech. Still mourning over the possible deaths of his friends, Klaus looked over at his sister is disgust, not saying a word. He thought about Fiona, who was probably dying right as they stood there, completely powerless. I can tell you that Fiona did in fact survive. In reality, the people in the submarine found a means of escape and all but one survived beyond that point (by request of this victim's family, I will not name him or her) but according to the evidence I have found so far, the Baudelaires will never know that their friends survived. Until the day when I will undoubtedly burn to death, I will continue searching for evidence of a loving reunion, but I am starting to doubt the chances of that day ever arriving. As far as they might ever know during their miserable lives, everyone perished. Everyone faced a slow and horrible death. It all sank in as they stood on Briny Beach and it was like the day their parents died all over again. The long silence was broken by Sunny, struggling to let out the following two words, which will haunt the orphans for the rest of their lives.

"Spilt milk."