Ever So Slightly
-Human AU One-shots-
by TJ Hector
-Warning:
What do they say about this? Uh, I have no idea.
This chapter would be a bit sad.
I don't want to give you a spoiler, so I won't say much about it.
-A/N:
Thanks for your reviews, LiL PriNCeSs Me, Infinite end, InsaneDutchGirl, and guest. And thank you those who have favorited/followed the story!
(I guess there weren't many readers who actually get the last chapter :p. My bad.)
And oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I don't know what happened with this chapter, maybe I'm accursed or something.
I was like, "I'm gonna write a cute Mikey story with a lot of fluff and laughter," and then I got stuck for weeks! Can't even write a word. And then last night, I suddenly knew what to write...and this thing just came. It was so horrible and I felt horrible, but I just couldn't stop writing and rid of the idea.
Yeah, but how can you be comforted if you're not hurt first? (h comes before c, according to Infinite end, very true)
-Disclaimer: I do not own the turtles or, in this case, humans.
4. The Dream
"Donnie, hey, Donnie?"
My super-tall, super-lean, and super-smart brother paused before the front door and turned back to look down at me.
"What do you want, Mikey?" he sighed.
Oh, I hated them when they do this to me—like I'm a big trouble or an extremely annoying baby. Hey, I'm fourteen, okey? FOURTEEN! I'm gonna take that statement about him being super-smart back immediately. You're a snob, Donatello, ya know that?
"Where ya goin' man?" I demanded.
Donnie looked surprised. "I'm going to the lab. I told dad already."
"But you haven't told me," I said.
'Why should I tell you' was written on his face. But he didn't say it. He just shook his head and shrugged.
"Okay, are you planning anything?" he asked with a frown.
"It's movie night," I said.
"Look Mikey," he leant on the door, running his fingers across his hair as he spoke. "I have to go to the lab…and I'm sure Leo and Raph got their own stuff to do. No one wants to go to the movies. Okay, if they want to go with you…but you count me out, alright?"
I stared at him, making sure there was no second thought in his eyes. In fact, there was only annoyance and impatience on his face.
"Okay, bye Donnie," I said suddenly.
"Bye," he said and walked out.
-:-:-:-:-:-
Sometimes you want to grow up really fast. I mean sometimes you feel so bad because people always treat you like a kid. You feel like there are a lot of things you can do, but you just can't do them because your dad or your brothers will just say, it's okay Mikey, you don't have to do that…you don't have to know that…Or simply shut up, Mikey.
Raph said he don't wanna grow up. He hates responsibility. He said that if you were a grownup people would throw a lot of heavy stuff to you and they wouldn't even care if you can handle them. I didn't quite get him that time. But I'm sure life stores it differently to each of us. Okay, let's go back to the movie night.
-O-
I went to Leo and Raph's room after Donnie left. It was a rare evening since the two of them were actually hanging out.
Raph was half-lying on his bed and reading a bike magazine, while Leo sat by his side and leant over his shoulder to glance at the page.
"I'd prefer the one on the left," Leo said.
"Your shitty sense of beauty, Leo," Raph smirked.
"Everyone has their own opinion, alright?" Leo rolled his eyes, "If you think your opinion's the best, why did you ask me about mine?"
"So I can criticize yours," Raph laughed. "Ta-da-da, Lemon-scarf-O."
Leo stood up, but before straightening himself completely, he gave Raph a shove which almost sent Raph off the bed.
"Whoa, bad mood, Leo?" Raph taunted, supporting himself on the edge in time. "Did she say anythin' today ta you? Huh? Your hot evil girlfriend? I'm sure she di…"
"Shut up, Raph," Leo hissed.
"Did she say you're frigid?"
"I said, shut up," Leo repeated with stress.
"Yeah, heard that," Raph smirked. And as Leo turned toward his own desk, Raph crept up on him and shoved him back.
Leo blocked Raph's attack and thrust him hard in his chest. "You're so childish."
"And yer not? C'mon Leo. You're no better than me."
I stood by the door, watching them with my mouth open wide. I guessed I just witnessed a scene depicting the change from happy brotherly moment to hateful enemies.
"Uh, Raph? Leo?" I called, since they hadn't noticed my presence.
Leo looked over his shoulder, "What's the matter Mikey?"
"Um, nothin' really. Just wanderin', you guys feelin' up for a movie?"
Leo glanced at his watch, "Isn't it a bit late?"
"C'mon Leo!" I said, "It's Friday night! How 'bout you Raph?"
"I don't know, what's on?" Raph asked, "I don't want no crappy thriller and nerdy bullshit anymore."
"I'm sure they got something you'll enjoy, Raph," Leo muttered, "You just want to see some houses blown up and some girl's short skirts anyways."
"And you just want a bunch of hypocrite artistic babbling," Raph snapped back, "Some film with some deep philosophical shit. Metaphor. Whatever."
"Space Heroes isn't that kind of movies."
"Whoa, whoa! Space Heroes is even worse than those! Ya hear yerself talk?" Raph jumped and grinned. Leo sighed and shook his head.
"Come on! Guys! Let's go OUT!" I cried, running toward them and spreading my arms so I could reach both of them.
"Let go, Mikey," Raph snorted. But I know him so well—it wasn't his angry voice, so you could keep nagging him.
I locked them both in my arms and grinned victoriously.
"Alright," Leo said, "Where do you want to go? Movies?" I could see in Leo's eyes that he wasn't interested movies at all. Maybe he was afraid that the movie Raph and I pick would be boring or stupid.
"Okay, if you guys don't wanna see a movie, let's go to the park and…oh! Let's go build a big snowman!"
"Gee, Mikey!" Raph groaned. "That is the stupidest thing I ever heard."
"Mikey," Leo opened his mouth with a frown, "I suppose you got some homework to do?"
"Oh! Come on! It's only Friday!"
"Mikey, please," Leo put on his serious voice, "I got something I have to do tonight, maybe next time. Okay? I—"
"—Don't have time for my plan, which sucks. A'right, I get it. I get it. Totally," I said. "Sure, fine."
I released them and turned to the door.
-O-
I spent the rest of the night in my room and read my comic books, but I wasn't really reading them. The pictures and words that slipped past my eyes were meaningless, and for a while they just ran across my vision.
And then I got tired. Really tired. So I went over to my bed and lay down. What would it be if I just fell asleep and never woke up? I meant never. What would Leo, Don and Raph do if I never woke up? Would they be devastated? Or would they not care at all?
Don't be silly, Mikey, they're your brothers.
Yes, but they don't wanna hang out.
That doesn't mean a thing.
They think I'm nothing but a stupid, childish bother.
And then I drifted off to sleep.
-:-:-:-:-:-
I guessed that was a dream.
Suddenly I was standing outside our apartment door, which was slightly ajar. I pushed it wider, and glanced inside.
"Hello?" I called. It was weird. Our home was so silent, and dark. I took a few steps forward, and saw the lights in the kitchen were on.
I trod into the kitchen. Someone was sitting by the table—someone so familiar yet strange. It was Leo.
"Leo?" I tried to call him.
He didn't seem to hear me at first, but then he looked up.
"Oh my gosh, what time it is?" Leo uttered and glanced at his watch. It took me a full minute to realize that he wasn't talking to me, because his eyes were vacant as he stared at the empty counter before him.
Leo stood up and went past me; I followed him.
"Hey, Leo, you hear me?" I almost yelled. But the place was so silent—it would be strange to yell; at least I thought so.
Leo went into the bedroom I shared with Donnie. I looked over Leo's shoulder as I tiptoed—stupid fat Leo's blockin' the doorway! (Not that he's fat at all!)
"Donnie," Leo said softly. And then he entered the room.
I walked behind Leo, and saw that Donnie was lying on his bed, face down.
"Donnie," Leo called again, shaking Donnie's shoulder gently.
"Hmmm, Leo?" Don muttered.
"Don, wake up," Leo said in a low, soft voice, "We're gonna be late."
"I don't care if we're late. He's not there anyways." Donnie said.
"C'mon, Donnie," Leo sat down beside my red-haired genius brother. "Don't do anything you'll regret afterwards." And then he rubbed Donnie's back, "Come on, Donnie-boy."
Donnie finally turned. I was a bit shocked when I saw his face; though it was very dark in the room, it was clear that he had been crying. Donnie didn't cry often. In fact, I never saw him cry after eighth grade—and that was after all the horrible stuff those mean bullies had done to him.
"He isn't there, Leo," Donnie said again, a bit louder.
"I know, I know," Leo nodded, "I know."
I came closer to the two of them, and watched as Leo pulled Don to a sitting position. Donnie looked extremely worn-out; there were red rims under his used-to-be clear, big brown eyes, giving him a weak and fragile look. And he looked thinner in his purple pajamas.
Leo supported Donnie's shoulder while he spoke slowly, "Do this for him, okay?"
Donnie nodded reluctantly.
They did not seem to notice my presence at all.
-O-
I had no idea what was going on, so I walked out of the room and into Leo and Raph's bedroom instead. I didn't know what time it was—it was so dark in the apartment.
To my surprise, I found Raph standing in front of the mirror of the closet. He was wearing Leo's old suit, which was fit for his height but too tight around his shoulders.
"Hey Raphie," I said, "What the heck are you wearin' a suit for?"
He didn't answer. He didn't hear me, actually. I guessed that out already.
Using my advantage, I turned around Raph a bit so I could watch his face. It was weird. Raph looked like he had been crying, too.
"What happened?" I asked.
Of course, he couldn't hear me.
I stood there beside him while he trying to knot his tie with awkwardness. He failed.
"Shit," he cursed, throwing the necktie to ground. "Stupid motherfuckin' thing."
Despite the suit and the black shirt he wore inside, Raph didn't pay much attention to his appearance at all. His hair was a mess—it was always a mess, but now he couldn't pretend he had a hairstyle anymore, and he also looked thinner, like Don.
There was a noise from the door; Leo came in.
"How's the tie?" Leo asked.
Raph shrugged.
Leo sighed and picked the tie up from the floor. "Come here."
Raph walked toward him, and let Leo tie the thing for him. I finally got a chance to study Leo; just like Raph and Donnie, Leo looked very tired and thinner. But there was no sign of tears and swollen eyes.
"You gotta learn to do this yourself," Leo said.
"Huh," Raph replied absentmindedly.
"And fix that hair of yours," Leo glanced at Raph's head briefly.
"Yeah, whatever."
"Many people's gonna be there—"
"Oh, is that what you care?" Raph interrupted him, "Is that all you care?"
"Of course it's not—"
"Many people's gonna be there…What the fuck are you talkin' about? Leo? Who are they? What are they to Mikey? All I care is my little brother, and surely he won't care about my goddam hair…and I won't ever see him again Leo! Not on this earth! Not forever and ever and ever—"
"Shut up!" Leo yelled and grabbed Raph's collar, yanking him forward. Raph's green eyes widened.
"He's my brother, too," Leo uttered through gritted teeth, "And don't you dare judge me. God knows just how much I've done for this family...Oh darn…" he gasped, loosening his grip on Raph's shirt, "Darn…I…"
"I'm sorry," Raph mumbled, "It's m-my fault, man."
Leo patted Raph's shoulder without looking at him directly.
"I-I'll do somethin' about my hair, okay?" Raph said.
"Thanks, Raph," Leo heaved a breath heavily, taking over the necktie again.
Raph's brow furrowed, his eyes scanning the floor, "…I can't believe this is true, Leo."
"Neither do I," Leo said, "But it's life, Raph…"
Raph suddenly jerked forth and bumped his forehead on Leo's shoulder.
Leo didn't say a thing. He just held Raph there, and the two of them stood quietly for a while.
-O-
I went back to Donnie's (and my) room and saw that Donnie had also changed into a suit. Unlike Raph, he had his hair combed to aside and flattened.
He was sitting on my bed, gazing into the distance.
"Mikey," he said all of a sudden.
But he still wasn't addressing me.
"I know you aren't here anymore," he was saying, "But I'd like to think that you are. I know it's foolish, but I really hope you are. I knew for sure that you won't be at the stupid funeral anyway."
He paused for a moment to breath with difficulty since he was crying again.
"I'm so sorry," that was all he said.
And he buried his face into his palms.
-O-
I followed them downstairs and out of the building.
"I'll drive the car here," Leo said and started to walk down the street. "Wait for a minute."
"'S dad gonna meet us there?" Raph turned to ask Donnie.
"I suppose so," Donnie said.
Raph stuck his hands into pockets, but after about five seconds he drew them out and put one arm around Donnie's shoulder.
I jogged down the street and caught up with Leo.
Leo walked to our car but paused before opening the door of the driver's seat.
He stopped so abruptly that I almost thought he had a stroke or something. And then he started to cough as if he had choked on his saliva, but he hadn't. He was sobbing.
I had never seen Leo cry before. Leo never cried. But now, he was sobbing, in front of me, breaking down completely.
"Oh my god," he cried out in a stifled voice, "Why 'd you do this to us?"
I wanted to comfort him, but there was nothing I could do.
"Mikey," he rasped, "Mikey…"
"I'm right here, Leo!" I cried, "Right here! Ya hear me? "
Leo knelt down beside the car and continued to cry. He embraced himself and his head sank down to his chest.
"What happened?" I yelled, "What happened to me?"
I wanted to reach for him, but the dream started to fade away. It faded so fast that I hadn't got a chance to see if Leo had drawn any attention from Donnie and Raph.
The next second, I was back in my room and in my own bed.
-:-:-:-:-:-
"Hey, Mikey," someone was shaking me.
"Mikey?" another voice.
"Stupid goofball," the third voice. I bet that's Raph.
I opened my eyes and saw my brothers. All three of them, standing around the bed.
"Are you alright, Mikey?" Leo asked; he was feeling my forehead.
"What?" I slurred. "Leo?"
"Um, yeah," Leo said, perplexed, "I'm Leo."
"Leo!" I exclaimed, "Thank GOD!"
"What happened?" Raph muttered. Donnie shrugged.
"DUDES! I HAD THE WORST NIGHTMARE EVER!" I cried.
"You said that every time, Mikey," Donnie said.
"No, this time it's for real," I said, "Seriously, man!"
"You sure you're not sick or anything?" Leo asked, "Why did you turn in so early?"
"…I don't know why," I said, "I was just feelin' pretty tired that's all."
"We'll go to the movies tomorrow, okay?" Donnie said, "I got my schedule arranged."
"Thanks!" I beamed. "Oh man thank you so much! You have just NO IDEA how much I miss the time you guys can see me and hear me and talk to me!"
"What the hell's he talkin' about?" Raph complained.
"Oh Raphie!" I cried and plunged at him, "I love you man! And your ugly hair too!"
"Oh geez!" Raph groaned, "Get him OFF!"
"And you too! Leo! Donnie!" I pushed Raph away so I could make my way to Leo and Donnie. Oh, they all looked so confused!
"Leo, promise me," I said, "You don't have to pretend you're the tough guy for the family, just cry, a'right? I forgive you."
"What?" Leo frowned.
"Donnie!" I turned to Don. "I'm right here! And I'll always be…well, it's only a dream but if it's true, I promise I'll stay with you guys. Really."
Oh darn, I felt like I was going to cry.
"What kind of dream did you have, exactly?" Leo said.
"Oh, no, you guys don't wanna know about it," I said, and smiled. A bit bitterly, actually.
—The End
-A/N: I have no idea what'll come next! It's possibly Splinter...
So, does this count as what they call 'deathfic'? I suppose not. I've always wanted to write this story, actually-so I guess it just keep hanging there in the back of my head. I've read a one-shot about Mikey considered himself a dispensable member of the team, but when I read that, I was thinking about, "Wrong! Mikey, wrong!" Losing Mikey affect the whole family the worst, in my opinion.
Oh my gosh, I need to calm down too. Ever have those nightmares when you woke up you're still confused whether it's real? I had them a lot. Once I even called immediately to check on my best friend to see if she's alright.
