4.


it is so incredible how they roam around and play as if there is nothing wrong with their surroundings. do they not notice? do they really not yet notice that everything they can possibly be exposed to in this house is wrong and wretched and terrible and repulsive and hideous?

a woman forgot her shawl in the coatroom once. she left in a hurry and never called to claim it. they drape it around their shoulders and pretend to be people they've only met on the outside.

the conference room is thick with bad air from bad visions and they dare each other to open the door a crack.

i am and will be the only victim of this house.

but they have to know already, don't they?

they know. they definitely know, but they don't understand that they know

they cannot understand. i won't let them

the first one is cautious. she knows and she might understand. dangerous. she is cautious. she can't spend her entire life being cautious. she will age too fast.

the last one understands everything or nothing. she herself is dangerous. she will power headstrong into every situation she can and she will save them and she will realize or she will not realize that she uses her own life force for it and she will never ever ever stop even if she realizes because she is everything or nothing and her values are set in stone.

aster and zinnia, i am your mother and i love you

aster/zinnia, you need to understand me, okay?

asterzinnia i will never allow you to understand

i will never allow you to understand i will never let you grow old enough to understand i will never allow you to ask me when you age enough to stand on the edge of knowledge i will never allow you to fall i will never allow them to push you into it i will never allow you to be me

(I am your mother and I love you and I will not let them take you, too, not like they took me, not like they took It and put it inside my head and used my body to host two unlike creatures. I will not let them curse you for our ancestors' faults.)

so you understand why I have to do this,

right?

I am your mother and I love you


and now, back to your regularly-scheduled grammar and formatting