Disclaimer: I still don't own anyone or thing in SGA
Chapter Four
John hadn't intended to do this when he came in here. He needed a work out, but the moment he felt her lips on his it was like coming home all over again. A home he had been away from for far too long. His hands came to settle on the back of her neck as he deepened the kiss. A small voice in the back of his head told him this was wrong, but an even bigger voice told him it was okay. It was just a kiss. Just a little kiss. He felt her lean back and his body seemed to follow of it's own accord. He was laying half over her still kissing her, but now his hand traveled down her body. He knew every curve she had like it was the back of his hand. He felt the moan she let escape before he heard it. His body responded to hers naturally. All too soon reality hit hi and he pulled back from her flushed body as he ran a hand through his unruly hair.
"I, I gotta go." Kendra said braking the silence between as she got to her feet.
"Kendra wait." John said as he too got to his feet.
"No, really I've gotta get back to work." she said as she turned to face him, but stumbled over her own foot.
He reached out to steady her.
"It's after two in the morning." he said feeling the urge to kiss her again.
"Yeah Dr. Keller's been working on something that could help us with our wraith problem." she said as she took a step back from thinking the door was open, but instead it wasn't. She felt the cool metal against her back
"I'm not going to apologize for kissing you just now." he stated as his hand came up to her cheek.
"It wasn't your fault I kissed you."she felt like her body was still on fire just from the brief kiss and touch of his body. God how she had missed him.
"I kissed you back." he said as he looked into her eyes.
"You're with Teyla." she thought that if she brought up Teyla it would make the look of desire go from the expression on his face.
"I know." he said as he back away from her
"It's best for everyone that we not be alone with each other." she said softly
"I told her about us." John said
"What did she say?" Kendra asked
"She said you were my past and she understood the reason why I chose not to share you with her." he said softly
"She's a very understanding person." Kendra said feeling like the worst heel ever. She kissed John who now was with Teyla.
"Yes, she is." he said" Damn it why did you have to come here!" he paced around the room
"I didn't chose to if that's any consolation." she said still standing against the door.
"Do you know how hard it was for me to leave you?" he asked as he stopped pacing to look her square in the eyes.
Kendra didn't say anything she just stood there.
"I felt like I had ripped my heart out." He said " I never wanted to fall in love again."
"But you did." she stated softly
"Yes, I did, but not like I was in love with you." he confessed
"John you don't have to do this." she said fearing that he was about to turn her world upside down again
"I told my self braking up with you was the right thing to do because I had no right to ask you to wait for me when I wasn't even sure if I was coming back." he said as he stood right in front of her" Now, here you are." he paused" I can't be true to Teyla as long as I want you."
"John, want comes from a physical need." her voice was so soft she wasn't sure if he had heard her.
John just looked at her.
"I know what it is." he said feeling like he was about to fall apart any moment." Since you came back I can't eat. I can't sleep." stepped within her personal space now." Without thinking of you." with this said he kissed her again
Kendra pushed him back at arms length.
"You're with Teyla now she's one of my closest friends." she said feeling like she couldn't breath
"Then go before I end up hurting Teyla." John stated as the doors swooshed open sending Kendra falling back against the hard chest of Ronon Dex
"Kendra?" Nalani questioned as she saw Ronon steading Kendra then her eyes saw John" John?"
"Um, I'm going to go." Kendra said as she stepped around Ronon.
"Haven't you hurt her enough?" Nalani questioned as she looked up at Ronon" I have to go to her."
"Go to her." Ronon stated as she left.
John was pacing around the room when Ronon let the doors swoosh shut behind him.
"I was fine until I saw that damn tape of Nalani's." John stated
"Did you tell Teyla?" Ronon asked
"Yes, and wouldn't you know she understood why I didn't say anything before." John stated feeling like the lowest dog he could.
"Does she also know you still have feelings for Kendra?" Ronon asked
"I'm not sure what I feel for her anymore." John stated
Ronon didn't say anything more on the subject.
Men settled things a lot differently then women did. So, Ronon and John sparred.
