So Not Jealous
-Carly-
School was just school.
Though there was talk about my so-called 'friends' and how they had magically just started dating.
I suppose that's a perk of being partly famous. Everyone just knows everything about you and won't shut up about it, either.
Yeah, iCarly, our web-show has suffered throughout the summer vacation because of… reasons. But now we're back into reality, which is 'school'. This means, more work and less time for gross romance stuff between those love birds.
Well, Sam hates school and always slacks off.
There's no way a nerd like Freddie could contemplate taking up his "girlfriend's" ways and be good at it. He gets a rash with any lack of homework, for crying out loud!
I'm serious! You should have seen his a-
"Carly get over here!"
It's only Gibby, being a Gibby. He's waving and yelling at the top of his lungs, meanwhile I'm walking over to where he is, demanding what he wanted.
These days, I'm not as sweet as I once was. A broken heart changes you, kind of like Bolivian Bacon.
Gibby's wide eyed and looking scared from my reaction.
I give him a quick hug and try a soft smile. I think it worked because he chuckles and shows me a piece of paper. I'm reading it and when I finish, I look up and the boy has disappeared.
My hands shake and I'm ripping up the paper angrily. I'd tell you what it said, but I'm too fucking mad to even speak, let alone think right now.
Today is the first day I'm skipping school.
Leaving the shreds and remains of the note that Gibby gave me just scattered over the hallway floor, I pick up my bag and make my way through the school grounds and out of there. I can't take anymore.
I'm not going home. I'm still mad at my brother from bringing a witch into our apartment, and without my permission too! Sam's mother! What is life? How did they even meet?
Actually, I really don't want to know.
"Why!"
"Why what?"
"Go away, Gibby."
"Why what?"
"I said-"
Gibby just grabs me and starts kissing me senseless, or at least that's what I think he's trying to do.
Surprisingly, he's kind of a good kisser. Not surprisingly, I pull away in disgust, because… well…
"I'm a lesbian!"
There. I said it. I'm not proud of how it came out, but there's a huge relief washing over me. I can't quite explain how nice it feels.
"Y- What? I… Huh?"
"You know, into girls and not guys."
"Huh?"
He's totally lost, and I have a feeling he's a little disappointed. I guess he was crushing on me but I never took the time to notice. Before now, anyways and… Poor Gibby.
I give him a huge hug and tell him that I'm sorry. Not for being who I am, but for just blurting it out suddenly. I cannot believe that I was so caught up with my own little world and my own problems to be blindsided by-
"Well, this is quite a turn of events."
I just nod at the boy's comment, then let out a small sigh and sit down on the bench. He joins me. At least we still have friendship, right?
His arm slides around me and squeezes my shoulders gently.
A tear slips out of my eye and rolls down my cheek. Gibby quickly wipes it away.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I shake my head slowly. No, not yet. But I will someday. It's still too painful to even watch or to even hear about from miscellaneous school students. I'm not ready to talk about all of it, not even close.
"You love someone who doesn't love you back and living with that, really bites."
My mouth immediately drops open, but he shrugs like it's no big deal. A slight pang of guilt stabs through my heart.
I'm putting my friend through the exact same predicament as I'm in which isn't fair to him.
"Gibby-"
"It's okay, buttercup. It's all okay."
Deep down, I know it is definitely not okay. Gibby loves me. More than that, he wants to 'be' with me till the end of time!
He probably had it all mapped out. Five years of good solid dating, I'd move in with him because we'd have our own apartment, a standard proposal, the wedding, some kids, growing older together and before you know it… we're into the golden years and celebrating everything together…
Wait.
You think…?
No, no, no, no!
I'm not even considering it! Just the very idea of Gibby and I… both together, living a happy, harmonious life, sipping tea on the front porch, watching our grandchildren is absolutely ludicrous!
No! You're wrong!
How could you even be thinking that?
Gibby and I…
As he's walking away, with a slight slump on his shoulders, I wonder what things would have been like had I kept kissing him, instead of pushing him away… I just sigh and decide to go for a walk, away from the real world. Reality is just so totally overrated.
Don't you think?
