Adam rested his head in his hands. Things had just started getting back to normal, or at least normal for him.
After she left, his world came crashing down. Now he knew what Drew had felt like after Vegas Night. But what Adam did was worse. He had taken advantage of Fiona's drinking problem in order to believe that she truly loved him. Of course, the whole time Adam knew something about how she talked to him was off, but he was just happy that someone wanted him.
Adam took a deep breath and got up from the counter. He turned and made his way to the door. There was no need to tell Eli and Clare he was leaving, they were probably already in a heated discussion about Twilight or something.
Feeling the cold breeze against his skin, Adam shoved his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders a bit. It definitely wasn't this cold when he left this morning.
He began to walk aimlessly; no, he knew exactly where he was going; Adam just didn't want to admit it.
After walking through the brisk air for awhile, Adam came face to face with a wired fence. The gate was pad locked and Adam figured the police had probably done it after the anti-crackdown party he, Eli, and Clare hosted a while back. He hadn't been here since then; it wasn't filled with the happiest memories to say the least.
Adam took his hands out of his pockets and grabbed the fence. He glanced around quickly to be sure that no one was eyeing him suspiciously and then began to climb. Once he reached the top, Adam leaped and landed on the other side. He picked up his head and looked at the abandoned church.
Memories came flooding into Adam's mind. Adam's feet guided him towards one of the stone walls and he threw his back against it. He slid down the wall until he was sitting on the ground and pulled his knees into his chest and hung his head.
Adam let his mind wander into the events of the past few months.
Sitting here, now, reminded Adam of that night; the night when she left him standing there, in front of her condo, disappointed and hurt. After all the work he and his friends had put into throwing a party – specifically for her – and after all the emotion he put behind his actions, Adam should've been mad or angry but he wasn't. She had stood him up and all he could think about was her safety. God, he had spent that whole weekend worrying about her.
His worriment turned to anger when he saw her at school again. Not true, passionate anger, but a sad, disappointed anger. Despite his best efforts, it was fairly obvious that she had hit a nerve. Even though he had this pain in his chest, when they locked eyes, his heart melted.
Ugh, and her kiss! There was no way he'd ever forget it. Something about it felt right. Not just about the kiss but being near her, around her. Adam couldn't describe the feeling. It was new to him, something he had never felt before.
Adam was lost in his thoughts when he heard a twig snap. He immediately picked his head up and surveyed the area expecting to see one of his tormentors. He left out a short, relieved breath when he saw Drew making his way to him.
Drew walked over to Adam and sat down next to him. Adam stretched his legs out and just kept staring forward into the trees.
Drew didn't turn his head towards Adam but began to speak to him, "This place looks different during the day, without all the lights and the Degrassi students dancing around." Drew made sure there was not even a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He continued to look forward for a few long seconds before turning his head to look at Adam. "You okay?" he sounded concerned.
Adam shrugged. He knew his brother hated to see him so down, but he also didn't want to lie. "I guess I'm just….lost," Adam's voice trailed off.
"You're a great guy who deserves to be happy," Drew said resting his hand on Adam shoulder. "To be honest, I've never seen you happier than when you talked about Fiona." Adam slightly cringed at her name, not in a bad way but in a natural, nervous way. Even her name sent a shock through his body. "I know you, Adam, and I know that you know what's best for you." Drew stood up and looked down at his brother who finally looked up and made eye contact with him.
"How is any of this supposed to help me?" Adam was genuinely confused. Sometimes Drew could be the best brother in the world, other times he could be damn frustrating; this time, he happened to be both.
"I never said it would help," Drew began to walk away. He turned back once more to see his younger brother's helpless expression. "Sometimes, the easiest thing to do is the worst possible choice to make."
And with those wise words, Drew left Adam alone. Adam figured that Drew had probably heard someone else say those words because Drew wasn't smart enough to come up with that on his own. This thought made Adam smile, the first time since he left the Dot almost two hours ago.
He looked at his phone and got up. It was now about 2 o'clock. He didn't feel like going home, so Adam allowed his feet to drag his body through town. He kept his head down as he walked, fighting the wind. As he passed the Dot, Adam looked up to see Eli and Clare leaning across the table with their eyes locked to each others. He wanted that so badly; to be able to look into the girl of his dreams' eyes. He quickly looked away. Adam hated that his friends' had what he didn't. It was selfish, but sometimes he wished they'd just stop being all lovey-dovey long enough to realize that they were depressing him.
When Adam arrived at his destination, his heart began to race. The last time he stood right here, in this very spot, he was leaving another message on her answering machine. Adam looked up at the brick wall of her building as his mind raced.
He let out a sigh and leaned his back against the building, still wondering if he should go to tonight.
