A/N: Okay, this is for Celina and Sailor Sayuri, who asked for an update so nicely and enthusiastically, that I couldn't disappoint them. It's not horribly long, but it's something. Next chapter will have some more Buffy and Spike interaction. Promise!
Chapter 4 – Broken And Gone
It was still dark when Buffy came down the stairs and into the hall. There where lights on in the kitchen and the livingroom, and there where voices. Who was here in the middle of the night? Buffy wondered. Or was it the middle of the morning?
„She's just not herself right now."
Was that Willow? Why was Willow here? Did something happen to Dawn?
„I still think she's acting strange right now."
Xander. He sounded impatient. Buffy followed the sound of their voices into the kitchen. There were Xander and Willow facing each other over the counter.
„Hey. What are you doing here?" Buffy asked. There was no reply. They didn't even look at her, but kept conversing with each other."
„You don't think she would up and run away again, do you?" Xander asked, his voice a little hushed.
Willow bit her lip when she looked at him. „I-I don't know... no. No, I don't think she would be that irresponsible."
Xander raised his eyebrows at her, as if challenging her to admit, she didn't believed her own words.
„It's just... it's not an easy time for her. She'll be back to herself soon. She's a fighter! The Chosen One!"
Buffy felt uncomfortable listening to them talk about her. Hadn't they seen her? „Ehm... hey! Hi! I'm up..." She tried to get their attention, but to no avail. Willow and Xander kept ignoring her.
It started to become really spooky. „Hey, Wills... where is Dawn, is she with Tara?" Buffy tried again to get into their conversation, that now circled around their worries if she would be up to slaying. „Wills?" Buffy reached out to touch Willows hand, that laid on the counter top, but as soon as she touched, or rather would have touched it, Willow's form dissolved. She just faded like a shadow or a ghost. Buffy stared at the place where her best friend had just stood dumbfounded and a little scared.
„Xander!" She wiped around. „What... what happened... Willow!" But Xander didn't look at her, nor did he look concerned about the vanishing act of his friend. Instead he went over to the fridge, opening it ans starting to rummage around.
„Xander!" Buffy cried, starting to feel really wigged. She went to him and reached for his shoulder. But her hand went right through it as he to faded into nothing within a second.
Buffy stared at the empty space before her speechless. „Xander? Willow? Are you there? Can you hear me?" There was no answer, but new voices came from the living room. Buffy hastened towards them and found Giles sitting in the living room. Thank God.
„Giles! Something has happened! Xander and Willow, they just vanished! Into thin air!" she exclaimed. But her watcher didn't show any signs, that he had even heard her. He looked away from her over, to the far corner.
„Giles?" Buffy stepped in front of him, facing him. „Did you hear what I just said? They dissolved! That's not of the good!"
„I'm sure Buffy will manage." Giles said. Huh? What was he talking about?
„Giles?"
„She knows her duty. And she knows how important it is. She is an exceptional strong girl."
Well, that was a nice thing to say, but Buffy right now didn't feel very strong. She felt confused and frustrated and started to get really annoyed with all of them ignoring her and not listening to her. Why wouldn't he listen?
„Giles." she said louder this time and determined to not be ignored any longer.
„I wish I had your confidence." Buffy froze when she heard that voice behind her. She turned, staring at her former boyfriend, her first love... and he was looking right through her at Giles! „She is still very young." Angel continued, moving past Buffy towards the couch, completely ignoring her presence. „She is impressionable, and I fear she might associate with the wrong people. I told you before, how ruthless he is. He is dangerous and Buffy doesn't see that. He takes advantage of any sign of weakness. She can't afford to let her guard down with him. He is a monster. A killer. The darkest of creatures..." Angels voice boomed in the living room.
What was going on here? Why was Angel even here? And Giles? She had about enough now. She went over to the couch, grabbing Giles by the arm, what would have been rather roughly. A strangled sound of anguish escaped her throat, as She found him gone in the blink of an eye. She looked at angel frantically and strangely enough, he seemed to look directly at her.
„You know how I wished I could stay!" he said, before he vanished before her eyes, slowly fading, lingering until he was completely gone. Once more the house was silent. Buffy's heart was beating wildly in her chest. What the hell was happening? Her breathing was fast and harsh and she felt the first touches of panic, crawling up her skin. She couldn't... she couldn't... she didn't know what she couldn't, but she stormed to the door and blindly tore it open, running out into the night.
She ran into the night, into the complete darkness. Darker that she'd ever seen it. She ran and ran, why was it so dark? Everything around her looked unfamiliar and scary. She had never been afraid of the dark, why was she now? She ran faster, trying to escape the feeling that she was lost, and then she ran straight into something solid.
She stumbled slightly and looked up into the most startling blue eyes. They were looking at her concerned.
„Don't worry. I know it's still dark, but I know the darkness. It's were I live. Don't be afraid that you're lost, I will take you home." Spike reached out and softly stroked down her cheek. „But you can't stay in the darkness, Buffy. You have to look out for dawn."
Buffy woke up with a start. The grey light of morning was creeping through the half closed curtains and for a moment she just lay motionless, trying to feel numb and not start thinking. But of course, that attempt was fruitless. Images crashed down on her. Her mother. The casket. Angel. Dawn... something struck her at that thought. Spike. What had that been yesterday? And the dream. It had almost felt like a slayer dream. But what was the message? That her friends would suddenly vanish? That she had to concentrate back on her duty as the Chosen One?
He is dangerous and Buffy doesn't see that. He takes advantage of any sign of weakness. She can't afford to let her guard down with him. He is a monster. A killer. The darkest of creatures...
Was that it? Was the dream a warning not to let her guard down with Spike? Not that she would again. That had so been a one time thing, and she'd been not herself, like Willow had said it. She just had to get back to be herself.
But how would she do that, when she felt a million miles away from that girl? She had fought against monsters since she was fiveteen, yes. She had lost her one true love, had even died for a few minutes. But she had always been a girl. A girl with a home and a mum she could come back to. Even when she ran away the summer she was sixteen, there had been a place that was her home, and somewhere deep inside her she had known she could and would eventually go back. There was always a way to make things right. Until now. Nothing she could do, no amount of wishing and hoping or grovelling and apologizing would bring her mum back. Her parents were gone, and there was nobody to hold her and guide her and catch her if she'd fall. It was up to her now.
***
When Willow and Tara brought Dawn over in the afternoon, Buffy had done four loads of laundry, hoovered the house, dusted every surface and cleaned all the windows. She hadn't even stopped to eat, but then the prospect of it made her feel sick. Her bones and muscles were exhausted with a different kind of strain than slaying and it felt good. Her body felt numb and even her mind didn't seem up for much action anymore.
So she just sat on the couch and let Willows and Taras voices wash over her, adorning them with a 'hm.' or 'yeah' now and then. Dawn of course had gone straight to her room, without even glancing in her direction. Buffy didn't know why exactly, but she seemed to blame her. Probably because it had been her that told her. Bearers of bad news... there obviously was some truth in there.
She should probably do something about that, but she had no clue how. The two times she had tried to talk with Dawn, since then, she had either ignored her completely, or screamed at her to 'get out'. So she just sat on the couch, not moving, playing with a thread on her sleeve and watching the patterns the late evening sun was painting on the carpets.
***
The sun had just vanished behind the tree tops, when the door to his crypt was banged open. Startled Spike jumped up from the sarcophagus, where he had been dozing, facing the intruder warily. When he saw which demon had come wandering into his home, he rolled his eyes.
Angel didn't take notice of him at first, but let his gaze wander over the sparse interior of his crypt. Spike sighed. He had lived with Angelus for twenty bloody years, and even if Angel might deny any similarities between himself and his soulless counterpart, Spike knew too much about his own kind and his grandsire to ever have bought that bollocks. To Spike, Angel was nothing more than Angelus on a leash. He was guilt-ridden, sure. But he was still the same self-important, arrogant wanker he'd been before. Right now, he was trying to make Spike feel inferior. Spike knew that. He only wished knowing would prevent him from letting Angel get to him.
„You never had any style." Angel said disdainfully, while still not deigning to look at him.
Spike walked over to the little fridge he had stowed in the corner. He had gotten it through Clem, a poker-buddy of his, who's brother had good connections to the more seedy dealers in town.
„Did the detective shit not work out for you?" He asked, grabbing a bag of blood from the appliance. „Trying interior design now? Never mind, we're not all cut out for the hero, and you've always been a bloody poofter. Might as well come finally out about it."
„You never could shut you're gob, Spike." Angel looked at him, hands buried in the pockets of his dress trousers. God, he hated the git. „I always had to do that for you. Looks like some things never change."
„Oh, they change mate. I'm not your little fledge anymore." Spike growled. There might have been a time when Spike had been bound to accept Angel as the patriarch, had looked up at him even. But those days were long gone. Spike was a hundred and twenty years old. And that was only if one didn't count his years as a human – which he probably shouldn't. Still, he had killed two Slayers, had become the youngest master vampire the powerful Aurelius Clan had ever seen and if Angel was still able to cut him, it wasn't because he was the more powerful vampire.
„Think you are your own man now, Spike, do you?" Angel scoffed, grinning. „But you forget, that I'll always be your superior. I'm head of the Order. I'm your grandsire. And you will do. As. I. Say!" He shot him a dangerous glare.
Spike snorted angrily. „You might have forgotten, that this works both ways, Angelus. When you deserted us in China a century ago, you forfeited your rights. After all it's you who claims this split personality shit. So you see, I owe you nothing."
„That's where you are wrong boy."Angel advanced, towering over Spike. „Don't make me break you down."
„You couldn't do it then," Spike glared at him, over his shoulder, „what makes you think you could do it now, that you're even more of a cissy?"
Angel lunged at Spike then. And although he saw it coming and managed to spin around to face his enraged grandsire, Spike went down under his massive weight. Angel might not be the better fighter, but in mere brute strength he always topped him.
Pressing Spike's face in the dirty stone floor Angel hissed, „You stay away from her! You hear me boy?"
„You fucking asshole!" Spike pressed out, since Angel was squashing his lungs. „You abandoned her!"
Angel stiffened. „And how would you know that?" Angel asked in that low dangerous whisper. Shit! Why can't I ever shut my gob?
„You went there after I told you to stay away, didn't you?"
„She's all alone, you git! She was devastated!"
„Don't try to feign that you care! What do you understand about grief, you are a killer, Spike!"
„So are you. But if I remember correctly it wasn't me who went and slaughtered my whole family as a way to celebrate my initiation as a vampire."
„Stay away from her, Spike." Angel hissed dangerously. „Your not welcome in her house, and you know it. You're beneath her."
Spike balled his fist so hard his palms bled. Angel smelled the blood and smiled.
„Good boy."
TBC
A/N:Thanks for reading and please leave a review!
