A/N: My goodness, all the love for this fic is just overwhelming, but I do love it - thanks, all! :) Now, I hope you're all ready for movie night with Rory & Jess!
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 4
Rory wasn't sure what she was feeling or what she was doing as she waited for Jess to arrive at her house. He had told her how strange he felt, not knowing things he was supposed to know anymore, but Rory wasn't sure he could feel any more strange than she did right now. Her ex-boyfriend, who no longer remembered that they ever dated, was about to show up to watch a movie. Not only was Jess unaware that he and Rory were ever more than friends, he also had no clue that the last thing he said to her before he lost his memory was 'I love you.'
"Why did I think this was a good idea?" Rory asked herself, pacing the living room.
Before she had a chance to think of an answer, or even consider the question too long, there was a knock on the front door. Too late to change her mind now.
Taking a deep breath, Rory walked over to the door and pulled it open. There he was, looking just exactly as he always did, and yet Jess was different somehow, without all the memories that helped to make him who he really was.
"Hey," he greeted her. "Er, I brought food. It's just leftover brownies, but Luke said you'd appreciate them."
"Thank you," said Rory, taking the box from him. "Luke knows how much I love brownies."
"I guess I used to know that too," Jess considered, looking as awkward as he doubtless felt. "I spent the whole time walking over here trying to remember if I even like them," he noted as he followed Rory inside. "They smell good, so I figure it's a yes."
"We'll share while we watch the movie," she promised, going over to the couch and gesturing for Jess to follow. "I got one of your favourites, at least, it always was before," she explained, putting the box of brownies down on the table, and reaching for the TV remote.
Hitting the button, the screen came alive just as Jess' butt hit the cushion a couple of feet over from Rory. He read Almost Famous on the screen and nodded his head.
"Cool," he said, quite obviously unsure as to what he was about to see.
Rory tried to keep her regretful sigh down to a dull roar. Honestly, a part of her thought it might be this simple, for Jess to see the opening of his favourite movie and suddenly everything would come back. Deep down, she knew it couldn't possibly be that easy, but she had hoped.
In silence, they sat together, watching the movie. For a while, there was no sound but the TV, no movement except when they each reached for a brownie or to take a sip from bottles of soda placed at either end of the coffee table. Rory spent the whole time trying not to quote the parts she knew so well, and to not be too obvious when she snuck looks at Jess to see his reactions. Of course, nothing could keep her from singing along with 'Tiny Dancer' during the bus scene. The real revelation was the realisation that Jess was humming along too.
"You know this?" she said, eyes lighting up as she looked at him.
"I guess so." Jess shrugged. "The movie's not real familiar. I'm guessing I've seen it before?"
"A lot of times, yeah," Rory told him, looking back to the TV fast.
Jess had a feeling there was something significant about this movie, or maybe just about his watching it with Rory. He liked it, both the movie and being here with her, that much was clear to him. It made him wonder how much he had liked all this before, or loved it, maybe. It wasn't as if he and Rory were closer than friends, because somebody would have at least told him something that important, he figured. They were just friends, which made Jess wonder if he was crazy in some way even before the head trauma. Surely, the closer he could get to Rory, the happier he would be. She was beautiful, and sweet, and smart, from Luke had said too. What was there not to love?
"Are you okay?" she asked when she caught him staring.
"Yeah, sure," he said, taking a sip from his soda and going back to watching the movie.
Silence reigned once again, until the credits finally rolled on Almost Famous. Rory reached for the remote and turned off the TV, then went for the last brownie, just as Jess did the same thing. Their hands touched and the electricity Rory was well used to shot up her arm.
"Um, you can have it," she said of the brownie, making a big deal of pushing her hair behind her ear and looking away.
"That'd be pretty ungentlemanly of me," Jess noted, wondering why his hand was still tingling from the brief touch of Rory's fingers.
"Yeah, but Miss Manners would say that the guest outranks the hostess," said Rory thoughtfully.
"Huh," Jess looked thoughtful when she glanced at him. "Got a knife?"
"Yes, I do."
Rory was grateful for a reason to get up and vacate the room if she were honest. This was such a strange situation. She had known it was going to feel weird, but not like this. There was a time when she really thought she might've gotten over Jess. After the way he treated her toward the end of their relationship, and then running away to California without a word of explanation or even a goodbye, it was pretty crappy. When he came back just recently, she hadn't an idea how to deal with him, then had come the confession of his love for her. Rory had barely had a chance to get her head around that revelation when the accident happened, and now Jess had no memory of any of it. Not their friendship, their dating, or his proclamation of love. He had no idea how he used to feel about her, and quite honestly, Rory never had been 100% on how she felt about him anyway. She could tell him all, but had no idea what that would achieve, or if it would do more harm than good.
"You okay in there?" he called from the living room.
"Be right out!" Rory yelled back, grabbing the nearest knife and hurrying back, handing it to Jess as soon as she reached the couch.
"Wow," he said of the knife that was clearly not the right tool for the job. "You didn't have an actual meat cleaver available?" he checked, eyeing the huge knife with amusement.
"Our kitchen is not exactly well-equipped," she reminded him of what he used to know so well. "It was either that, or something in plastic that came free with take-out."
"We'll make this work," he considered, cutting the last brownie in two. "Well, at least it's sharp."
Rory nodded dumbly, taking her half of the brownie and shoving it in her mouth before she said anything stupid. She had no idea what she should say right now. She couldn't tell Jess any of what was on her mind. It would hardly be fair when he remembered none of it and couldn't be expected to. She struggled for a topic, knowing that he no longer knew any of the books, movies or music they used to discuss, except one.
"So, Almost Famous," she tried, after she swallowed the last bite of her brownie. "Still a favourite?"
"It's a good movie," said Jess, nodding his head and licking the last of his own brownie off his thumb. "Thanks for watching it with me."
"No problem."
"Did we used to do this a lot?"
Rory started choking and had to take a long drink from her soda to recover.
"Crumbs," she said by way of explanation. "Um, yeah. We've watched movies together before," she answered diplomatically. "We used to talk a lot about books too."
"Right. I seem to have a lot of those," he noted.
"You've seen nothing, mister," she told him happily, grabbing his wrist and pulling him up as she hurried to her bedroom, only glad to have a topic to talk about for a minute. "Now, this is my library," she declared.
Jess was still perusing the shelves when Rory hit the floor and pulled open several drawers and boxes that contained the rest of her vast collection.
"Wow. Someone's hooked on phonics."
Rory looked up at him so fast and with such a look on her face, Jess actually thought she was going to cry. He looked down, half-expecting to find she dropped one of the drawers of books onto her foot or something, but no.
"What?"
"Nothing," she insisted. "It's just... Er, you said that to me before."
"I did? When?"
"Actually, the first day we met, and you were pretty much standing right there, looking at my books."
Jess felt his eyes widen at that revelation. He tried to find the memory in his head, knowing it had to be in there somewhere, but no matter what he did, all he could conjure up was miles and miles of blank space. The list of memories held in his head that contained Rory was short to say the least. The hospital when he woke up, the diner yesterday, the movie today, and this moment. That was literally all he had.
"I'm sorry," he said, looking away. "This is so stupid."
"Jess, don't," said Rory, jumping up and reaching for him. "You don't have to feel bad about it. It's not your fault you don't remember, and it's really not a big deal. You just startled me is all."
Her hand was on his arm and Jess felt that strange jolt of electric again. Before she had a chance to take it away, he covered her hand with his, took a hold of it and squeezed. She didn't try to pull away, but she looked a little shocked. Jess didn't know if they did this, if they were ever closer than friends, or exactly what they were. He was acting entirely on instinct, and instinct told him this was cool.
"This has to be weird for you too, right?" he asked Rory then.
She might have answered if she could breathe. It felt so strange to be holding hands with her ex-boyfriend, standing in her bedroom, surrounded by the books they had read together so many times. Jess had bought some of them for her, his writing was in the margins of more than a few, and he didn't even remember.
"Weird?" she echoed at last, staring at his fingers curled around her own, shivering every time his thumb moved against her wrist.
"Well, I don't remember anything, which is crazy, but I can't miss what I don't know I had," Jess considered. "It's gotta be even weirder for you, for Luke, for Lorelai, all the folks in town. They have all these memories of me, and as far as my mind knows, I was never even there."
"That is weird, yeah." Rory nodded, thinking maybe she should get her hand back already, because this was just adding to the weird. A nice weird, but still. "Jess..."
'Saved by the bell' was an entirely apt phrase as the phone rang loudly in the hallway. Rory's hand flew from Jess' grip as she rushed by him to go answer the call.
Jess stood in her bedroom still, staring after her a moment, and then at the shelves of books on books. He had some of the same ones. Howl, Franny and Zooey, The Fountainhead. He had read those titles on the spines of books piled up in the apartment over the diner. They belonged to him, but Jess had no memory of a single one. If he started to read, he might recall some details, just like the movie which had started to feel vaguely familiar as it went on. It was strange that those things could come back that way, but actual memories, anything concrete about Jess and his life, none of that showed any sign of returning. Of course, it had only been a few days yet.
"Sorry about that," said Rory, reappearing in his view. "My grandma is looking for my mom."
Jess nodded but didn't know what he was supposed to say to that. In his head, there was no name or face attached to Rory's grandmother, and he wondered vaguely if he was supposed to know her, if they ever met. It didn't seem worth asking.
"What's your favourite book?" he asked instead.
"Wow," said Rory, shaking her head. "You do realise that's like asking a mother to choose her favourite child, right?"
Jess smirked, and Rory's heart skipped a beat at the sight. She moved past him quickly and returned to studying her full library.
"Hmm, I could probably narrow it down to a dozen."
"Okay, new question," Jess tried, leaning on the doorjamb watching her. "You got any idea what my favourite book is?"
Rory's eyes strayed to the book shelf right near his head, and Jess followed her gaze to the correct row. He watched as her hand reached for one title and she showed him the cover at last.
"The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway," said Jess, reaching for the book, but Rory pulled it away.
"Nope, you don't need my copy," she told him. "You have your own. This one? You bought this for me."
"I bought that?"
Rory nodded, smiling in a certain way that Jess could only think had a happy memory attached to it. Something in his heart shifted, but for the life of him, he had no idea why. He really wished he did.
"You know, in one way, I'm almost jealous of that amnesia of yours," she said, moving to put the drawers of books back into place, and the boxes back under her bed. "Now you get to re-read all the greatest books for the first time, and it's all new again."
"There is that, I guess," Jess considered. "Lucky me."
His tone of voice made Rory feel instantly guilty.
"I'm sorry, Jess," she apologised, looking up at him. "I didn't mean-"
"It's fine," he promised her. "Seriously, it's nice to find a bright side to this," he said, gesturing vaguely at his own head. "Now I have two."
"Two?" Rory checked.
"Getting to re-read all the books like they're new, and spending time with you," he recapped easily, amused by the way she blushed pink at his words.
"You didn't have to lose your memory to spend time with me, Jess," she told him, realising a second later that actually there was no way they would be here like this, being so friendly and reasoable, if his accident hadn't happened. "Um, I mean, well... What I mean is, I'm not just being nice to you because you lost your memory."
"Good to know." Jess nodded. "So, er, I should probably go. You have all that studying, right?"
"Well, yeah, I guess," Rory considered, looking back at her desk, "but I'm kind of hungry, actually. I was thinking of ordering a pizza, maybe watching another movie. You could stay, if you want?"
She wasn't sure what she was doing right now. Rory was starting to wonder if maybe she had a crack on the head at some point too and just didn't notice. This was clearly not the behaviour of a sane person, and yet, she couldn't have been happier when Jess agreed to stay a while longer.
"You got a movie in mind?" he asked curiously as they headed back to the living room.
Rory ducked down by the TV and rifled through the video tapes lying there. When she found what she was looking for, she looked genuinely triumphant.
"Nothing goes so well with pizza as another Italian classic," she said, showing Jess the tape.
"The Godfather," he read from the edge. "Okay."
"Trust me," Rory advised, popping the tape into the machine.
"Always," he answered, almost like a reflex.
It was debatable who was more surprised by that, but neither spoke a word.
To Be Continued...
