Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers. So don't try to buy them from me. Please don't get all offended because I mocked your favorite Ranger. I try to mock them all. Besides, it's just for fun. I really do enjoy the show :).

If you haven't done so, please read the first two hundred stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," "Those Rangers Just Keep on Meeting," and "Why Won't Those Rangers Stop Meeting Already?"

These pairings are picked randomly. It makes it more fun that way. Also, please review. Thank you.

Tyzonn and Jason

By

Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)

"Oh, stop whining!" called Tyzonn as he counted the Mercurian bills. "Your girlfriend now thinks you're a hero. You should have paid for the super gold package if you wanted me to make sure none of those rocks actually fell on her. I'm sure she'll wake up soon." He continued to count the money as he walked away from the sobbing Mercurian and the cave where he had arranged the latest 'rescue'. Being on Earth all that time had influenced him in more ways than one. Now, in addition to his real rescue work, he ran a side business where he charged lovesick Mercurians and set it up so they could become heroes or heroines. After all, what were a few extra cave-ins anyway?

"Sixty four, sixty five, sixty oof!" cried Tyzonn as he was tackled to the ground. "Hey! I already apologized for making you impress the wrong lady. But just think about how good a back massager she'll be with all those arms and claws."

"Where is he?" demanded Jason. "No one on Earth seems to know where he went to. I bet you're hiding him."

"What are you talking about?" asked Tyzonn. "Get your fat...oh wait, I almost forgot." He turned into liquid mercury and slid out from Jason's grip.

"Ew, yuck!" cried Jason as he jumped away in disgust. "Nobody warned me about...hey! I'm not fat. I'm extremely muscular. Why do you think Zordon picked me to be Red Ranger in the first place?"

"To have something to laugh at when you squeeze your fat butt into spandex?" ventured Tyzonn the Mercurian puddle.

"You're just jealous of my muscles you Jello wannabe. Now," continued Jason, "tell me where you are hiding that jerk or I will mix you up with cement."

With a sigh, Tyzonn reformed into his human shape. "It would help if I knew who you are talking about. I'm not a mind reader." He still regretted trying to pour himself into Will's ear as he slept to learn how to be cool like him. The extremely annoyed Black Overdrive Ranger had wiped him off with his blanket and then tossed him into the washer. It had taken Tyzonn over a week to wring all the soapy water out of his body.

"That damned Sentinel Knight, that's who!" cried Jason. "I heard he called former Rangers and gave them their powers back and they got to destroy Zedd and Rita's s...s...excuse me." He turned around and began to retch. "Oh God I can't get the image out of my head," he moaned.

"I know, it was an impressive battle," said Tyzonn. "Thrax was a formidable opponent."

"I meant the image of my former nemeses doing the moon palace mambo with each other. Tell me, did he have a fender face and cone boobs?"

"Uh, no." Tyzonn crossed his arms. "The Sentinel Knight isn't here on Mercurian. What do you want with him?"

"I want him to give me my powers back!" shouted Jason. "I want to be a hero again! I want to fight the bad guys! I want to stop being known as Emily's motorcycle chauffeur!" He grabbed Tyzonn by the collar and began to shake him. "Tell me where you're hiding him!"

"Let g...oh I forgot again." Tyzonn turned into mercury again and flowed to the ground.

"Would you please stop doing that?" cried Jason in disgust.

"Fine," replied Tyzonn as he reformed.

"No, wait!" cried Jason who was still holding the one piece jumpsuit the Mercurian had slid out of. "Oh," he chuckled, "so that's why your planet's population is so low."

"Give me that," grumbled Tyzonn as he grabbed his clothing and put them back on. "I'll have you know neither Ronny nor Vellah had any complaints." At that very moment, both girls were sending jokes related to Tyzonn's 'inadequacy' back and forth to each other online. "Anyway, last I heard the Sentinel Knight said something about going to thank someone named Daggerhead or Dagwood or something for and I quote 'training me to be the most awesomeness knight ever and getting to 'supervise' that annoying Xander while he fights his butt off'."

Jason sighed. "Great, now I won't get to be a Ranger again. I bet Tommy's on his twelfth color by now. Probably plaid."

Tyzonn stared at Jason. "I still can't believe someone as unhinged as you is actually considered one of the greatest Rangers ever. How drunk was this Zordon when he chose you?"

"Oh, and how did you qualify? Did you have to win a 'most likely to get washed down a drain' contest?"

"N…n…no" replied Tyzonn just a little nervously remembering his drunken attempt to poison Moltar's lava drink using his own liquid self. He had spent a nasty few days in the lava creature's sewer system after being dumped down the drain.

"Well," said Jason with a sigh. "That was my last idea for getting my power...unless." He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and tapped in a long series of numbers.

"I don't believe you'll be able to reach Earth from…"

"Then it's a good thing I'm not calling there," commented Jason as he finished pushing buttons. "Rita, Darling!" he announced into the phone. "It's me, Jason! How's it going in that Mystic realm? Really? Wow, that snow prince really sounds like a jerk. But never mind that. I really need a big favor. Now that you're on the side of good, is there any chance you would know where I can hook up with some new Ranger powers?" He paused with a frown. "Oh come on, for old times' sake? Pretty please? I'll rub your feet and do whatever Zedd couldn't for you with that skinless body of his. No? How about I add a lifetime supply of ibuprofen for those headaches of yours?" He paused, this time with a grin on his face. "A putty ranger power coin would be fantastic! I'll be right over."

He ran to the Radbug that he had stolen out of Billy's garage just for the trip to Mercurion. Jason figured with his former teammate living on Aquitar, he wouldn't notice the car missing. "See you, Puddle Boy!" he called as he started the car and began to fly it.

Tyzonn just shook his head. "I'm amazed you can even get your lard butt to fit in that tiny vehicle!" he called after Jason. Then he resumed his money counting. "Ninety five, ninety six, ninety…" His concentration was disrupted by a distant shout.

"Hey!" cried Jason as intergalactic anti-theft device his former blue teammate had installed finally kicked in. The car suddenly changed directions on its own. "No, not that way!" he cried as the car flew off towards the prison planet for intergalactic car thieves.

Tyzonn just stared at the sky for a few seconds. Then he shrugged his shoulders. "Ninety seven, ninety eight, ninety…" His paused in thought. Maybe he should have charged triple for that Triforian who had come for a royal visit last week. After all, he had to set up the 'rescue' situation a separate time for each personality. "Ninety nine, one hundred, one hundred one, one hundred two… yes?" he asked as a shadow came over him. He looked up to see local law enforcement officers with a group of irate spelunkers who had gotten trapped during one of Tyzonn's 'rescue' operations. "Hey! You made me lose count!" cried Tyzonn as he was dragged away. "Great and who is going to rescue me?" he whined.