Chapter 4
AN: Thanks for the reviews! This really was a lot of fun to write, and no, it's not only about sex toys, but still...We can have some fun, right?
Penelope heard the knocking on her door about six o'clock. Derek was usually prompt, and this was no exception. She opened the door and smiled when she saw him.
He was carrying a big bottle of Bacardi® Limon and a twelve pack of Coke®. "I thought we could probably use this, considering…"
"Great idea," she said gratefully, stepping aside as he came in and kicked off his shoes.
She had the bag sitting on her coffee table, unzipped and raring to go. She saw him glance over at it, and then he walked over to take a seat on her couch.
She positively despised how nervous she felt right now.
Before he arrived, she'd spent a long time pumping herself up, trying to treat this like they were looking over any other business things. It was just Derek, and it was just a business she had to help out with. Business. Straight up and serious. She was starting to believe it, and really thought she'd be okay...
And then she saw the big green vibe, and her thoughts went straight south again.
Shit.
"I'll get two glasses and some ice," she said, hoping the groan she was feeling wasn't showing in her voice.
She left to go into the kitchen. Getting two large cut glass tumblers, she filled them with crushed ice and started into the living room again.
Derek was sitting, holding a wicked looking spiked collar and a whip. His grin was positively evil, and he was waggling his eyebrows like only he could.
She gave him a cautionary stare. "Don't say it…"
"I bet you wish ol' Lynch was still around," he said, cracking the whip against his leg with a loud snap. "Tell me who's your momma now, Kevin?"
"Stop that," she said with a scowl, pulling the items out of his hands. She put the glasses on the table, while he opened the cans of soda and the bottle of Limon.
"We're going to have a massive headache after this," he warned her, pouring a large amount of rum in both of their glasses.
She picked hers up without the coke and drank half of it. She coughed, and then rasped out, "I don't care."
Chuckling, he took the glass back and added the cola, after doing the same to his. "It's not going to be that bad," he promised, as he swirled her glass and gave it to her.
"Easy for you to say," she scoffed. "You probably use all this crap on a regular basis."
He shook his head. "Actually, I don't."
She frowned. He had said she wasn't a toy kind of person, and she knew that was true. She wasn't anywhere near as promiscuous as he was—or Rossi or Prentiss for that matter. She was only above Reid in the experience department…and maybe Seaver. She was kind of young...but she did date, and so did Spencer.
God...maybe Reid and Seaver had her beat now?
Yes, she was nearly a virgin when it came to sex toys. Derek, on the other hand…he probably had one of each of these in a cabinet near his bed.
"Really," she answered dryly, thinking he'd been lying when he'd said he didn't have this stuff.
"Woman," he said, swirling his drink to mix it again. He gave her a blunt and serious look before continuing. "I have ten good fingers, two great lips, an outstanding tongue, and a fantastic dick…I don't need gadgets."
She gaped at him for a moment. She couldn't help it. She knew she was blushing, too, but she tried to will it down.
He was looking so supreme and superior sitting there, knowing he'd floored her.
That would simply not do.
"Well..." She put her tongue on her upper lip, traced it, and said, "That's nice. I have ten good fingers, two great lips, an outstanding tongue, a fantastic pussy, and two breasts that can bring a man to his knees."
Taking a sip of her drink, she leaned back, thoroughly satisfied.
However, he didn't look floored like she had. Instead, he simply grinned at her and said in a straightforward manner, "Well, then I think our terrific parts need to get together."
It was then she noticed the teasing gleam in his eyes. She burst out laughing and shoved at his arm.
"Seriously, girl, we should," he said, still grinning. "The sum always equals more than the separate parts."
"Ooh, math," she replied. "Learn that from Reid?"
"That's Derek's basic math, sugar," he said, taking a drink of his rum and coke. "One plus one equals oh, hell, yes…"
She laughed again and took a sip of her drink. "Okay, mister. Enough teasing. Let's get to work."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, and then smirked again. "After all, you still have that whip…"
They started going through the bag, sorting, taking things out. The first things were basic vibrators that were familiar to both of them. They were in colorful colors and basically buzzed. Some were fleshy colored. There was nothing too exciting about them.
The second layer had larger vibrators. They were similar to the lime green one Derek had held in the office. Thinking about it made her snicker.
"What?" he asked, holding a box.
"I just never thought I'd see you holding a Big Daddy Supreme vibrator," she answered, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
"Big Daddy?" he remarked, turning it so he could read the box. He scoffed. "That thing isn't that big."
Penelope was glad he was looking at the box. She had one a little smaller than that…and thought it was huge.
Good Lord, what did he have in his pants?
She took another sip of her drink, hoping her cheeks were less red.
"Now that's interesting," he said, holding one up that had crystal pearls near the bottom of the shaft. "What in the hell is that for?"
She shrugged. "I don't know, but there's one like it opened in the bag."
Derek dug through the bag until he found the similar prototype with the beads. He turned it on, wrapped his hand around it, and then puckered his lips, trying hard not to laugh. "Oh, I get it."
"What?"
He took her hand and wrapped it around the base. She couldn't get her hand completely around it, it was that thick. It pulsed and throbbed under her hand, and she began to blush.
"This thing is cumming, isn't it?" she asked.
He nodded, and then laughed and sat back, fanning himself. "Damn, woman. I am jealous of ten inches of plastic!"
She grinned back at him, not quite able to hide her blush. "Note to self: get a new boyfriend, pronto."
"Note to self: get a new girlfriend," he said, and then added, "preferably one that is very easy."
"That's awful!" she exclaimed, but she laughed anyway.
"Hey…it's been a while," he said, taking a big swig of his drink.
"Me, too," she answered honestly.
For a moment, they sat there in rather awkward silence, and for a moment, Penelope seriously contemplated something she had almost never contemplated seriously before.
What would happen if she and Derek became lovers? Just to scratch a quite bothersome itch?
Then she looked around the room at the spread of plastic penises and realized it was just her libido going crazy—and how drunk she felt from the rum. She needed to not think of him that way; ruining this friendship would not be worth it, no matter how good the sex could be. And it would probably be awkward and awful. It was Derek Morgan, for heaven's sake!
She should become her own first customer, instead.
"Well," she said, breaking the silence. "That's the vibrators. Dildos next?"
He chuckled, causing her to raise her brow in question.
"You said that in such a nonchalant way," he explained, "like you were offering me more cheese!"
"Speaking of cheese…are you hungry?" she asked, more than a little bit starving herself.
"Hell, yes," he said, which was no surprise to her. He was always hungry.
She stood up. "Let's order pizza."
