REAL SHIELD SUMMIT EPISODE QUATRO!
"AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLRRRRRIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTTT!" that loud scream from Furno Moxley startles his stablemates. "Welcome to episode 4!"
"Worst. Vanoss impression. Ever." Nyx jokes.
"AAAAANNNNYYYYWWWWAAAAAAAAYYYY, let's get started."
Hooky With Sloane - Bird Creek
(REAL SHIELD SUMMIT!)
"Okay, because we ran out of items to show off, let's go to the jar." Furno starts.
(JAR OF PUNISHMENT!)
"This dare's from Loki Malphas: 'Put vanilla pudding in a mayo jar and eat it in public'." Furno reads.
"Who can make vanilla pudding?" Nyx asks as she immediately raises her hand, and so does Raptor.
"Dad mode, right here." the Samoan points at himself.
"Let's see what happens." Aiden says as the whole group stands up. The video immediately cuts to Furno and Aiden, sitting in the middle of the street and holding jars of mayonnaise (which are actually filled up with vanilla pudding)
"I don't get how this is a dare." the Ohioan sighs.
"Maybe get a crowd reaction?" Aiden asks.
"Good enough for me. Addie, you're getting crowd reactions, right?" Furno asks Nyx, who is holding the camera.
"Yeah. We'll stop once we're out of pudding." she says. The guys nod.
"There's only one thing left to do." we hear Raptor's voice. "Benny Hill theme engage!"
Benny Hill theme
As that song is playing, we now see shots of Furno, Raptor, and Aiden eating vanilla pudding from the mayo jars as Nyx manages to catch reactions from passerby's, ranging from shock to slight chuckles. One even briefly stops the music and cuts to a mother and her son watching the three men eat, then there's subtitles shown.
Is that mayonnaise? -Boy
Actually, it's vanilla pudding -Furno
That's when the mom and her son walk away, right as all three men are out of pudding. The video cuts to them back in the room.
"Well, that was fun to watch." Nyx smirks. "Anyway, let's head on to a new segment for today…"
"It's a question and answer via Twitter and it's called…" at this rate, Furno begins to extend the "called" part to awkward levels until someone breaks it for him.
"Let's just call it The Typical QnA." Raptor suggests.
"I'll gladly roll with that." Aiden agrees as the others nod.
(THE TYPICAL QNA!)
"First question is…" Nyx starts. "In your collective opinions, what is the worst WWE PPV in 2018?"
"CROWN JEWEL!" pretty much everyone says immediately.
"As far as I'm concerned, Shane is NOT the best in the world." Aiden adds. "Sometimes, I question WWE logic even if it's already ridiculous enough."
"As a former WWE Superstar myself, I feel ya, Dylan." Furno jokes.
The others laugh at that little rant.
"Any advice on how to get a girlfriend?" Aiden reads the second question.
"Let them punch you in the face." Furno quickly replies with a stupid smirk on his face, then a voice is heard.
("WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" -Rayleen Barnett)
"Giving relationship advice!" Furno calls back, then turns back to the camera. "She just gave me the middle finger. Love you!" he exclaims at her general direction.
("I love you and I hate you!")
While that's happening…
"Don't be a creep." Aiden says. "Which is saying a lot, given who I am currently engaged to. No offense to Alena in case she's watching this. Love you, Lena!"
"The most obvious thing you can do is don't be someone you're not." Raptor explains. "If you pretend, then you're just being a dick to yourself. And no, Addie. Don't say something along the lines of 'have a high sex drive'."
Nyx shows the Samoan a middle finger then says "Just don't be a turn off. And screw you, Rangi. It has worked."
Cue an out of place laugh track.
"Good enough. Anyway," Furno continues. "-next question is: Any dream matches with someone outside of the WFA? Tanahashi, Omega, or Okada, obviously."
"Asuka, obviously." Nyx says.
"Bad Luck Fale." Raptor answers quickly. "Would be interesting. Or Tama Tonga."
"Either Naito or Almas for me." Aiden says. "I refuse to call him as just 'Andrade'. It's disgusting. What's with WWE and shortening ring names?"
"Anyway, next question is…'Most embarrassing matches you've worked in?'." Nyx says.
"May Day. Do I even have to explain?" Furno says quickly.
"I once had a match with Bayley, then known as Davina Rose, in Shimmer," Nyx starts. "I had to take a loss to her, but that's okay. But, during the match, some guy catcalled her, which really pissed me off so much I almost broke her nose with a stiff forearm. I bought her ice cream after that match."
"That was embarrassing to you?" Furno asks.
"Yes!"
"I used to work in PWG before teaming with Rangi. I worked two matches one night, winning against Kyle O'Reilly then losing to Adam Cole BAY BAY...one of the spots involved me getting draped on the rope by my crotch ala AJ Styles." Aiden sighs.
"When Dylan and I had to get squashed by War Machine after losing our ROH Tag Titles. It took less than 30 seconds, that match. Went from champs to jobbers in a week." Raptor says.
"I'd be surprised if you guys even had a world title reign each. No offense." Nyx adds.
"Maybe we did, and if we did have one each, they'd be forgettable." Raptor says.
"And last question is about what our hidden talents are." Aiden explains. "Obviously parkour for me."
"Beatboxing." Raptor says.
"I know how to use throwing knives." Furno adds.
"Should I just call myself 'Flying Knife' Furno Moxley?" Furno jokes. "Well, that is enough questions for today. Time for the last segment for today and it's a new one called 'The Sitdown'."
"And we shall move back, given who we brought in as a guest." Nyx smirks as she, Raptor, and Ajax move from their chairs to behind the camera, leaving a slightly tense Furno alone with three empty chairs.
(THE SITDOWN!)
"Okay, long story short," Furno starts to explain. "I sit down with a guest and we...hang out here for a few minutes while my compatriots laugh behind the camera. Anyway, our guest for today is...you already heard her yell at me a while ago."
The others chuckle behind the camera. Furno sighs.
"Anyway, you guessed right. It's the 'War Queen' herself: Rayleen Barnett!"
The instant he turns to the right, he immediately takes a baseball to the face as everyone behind the camera descends to uncontrollable laughter. The nonchalant Rayleen Barnett casually strolls into the room and sits next to Furno.
"You do realize your dating advice only applies to people like us, right?" she grumbles, arms crossed.
"Maybe." Furno rubs his head. "Anyway, onto the real thing. We're just gonna talk about random stuff here for a while. Now, just recently, I found a Diva Dirt article that caught my eye and slightly ticked me off and I want you to give your opinion on it. There will be a link on the video."
Furno quickly grabs a laptop from underneath the table and starts typing. It reaches this article and the link also flashes on the video:
(since the link won't show up, just search "Brie Bella credits Total Divas" and find the Diva Dirt article on it)
"Wait, what?" Rayleen sputters as she reads the article.
"See?" Furno grins. "Anyway, your thoughts on this, Rayleen?"
Rayleen sits back and sighs as she starts talking. "I don't agree with this at all. I think the Women's Revolution started with women starting to perform at an equal or even greater level than the men. We didn't start getting recognized because everyone wanted to know what colors the Bellas were gonna wear WrestleMania weekend. A lot of women in the WWE, NXT, and Indy Scene helped changed that. Women like Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch, Asuka, Sasha Banks, Bayley, along with other various female wrestlers. Hell, even women in the earlier days of WWE like Lita, Trish Stratus, Melina, Beth Phoenix, Natalya. Not to take anything away from the Bella twins. They've definitely gotten better in the ring to be recognized as great female wrestlers. But to say that Total Divas helped pave the way for the Women's Revolution and Evolution is simply idiotic."
The Ohioan starts clapping his hands and so do the others. "Well said! That partly sums up my opinion."
"What was your opinion?" Rayleen asks.
"Well, obviously, they should not associate a reality show with the evolution of women's wrestling in WWE. Anyway, I know you like seeing me get my ass handed to me in the ring, but here's one that I wasn't proud of…"
Furno then types on the laptop and now, it shows a match between Furno and Big E. The whole match is: Furno charges, Big E catches him, Big E lets go, Furno strikes him with punches repeatedly, Furno rebounds off the ropes, Big E catches him again, Big E hits Big Ending, pinfall victory, Furno loses the IC title. Basically, a 30 second squash match.
"The hell is this?" the War Queen demands.
"Well, this is how my first IC title reign ended." Furno explains. "Dunno why it became a squash match instead of a five to ten minute match, but I assumed it was because of that tweet I made about Total Divas. Management was tense around me when I made the tweet right after AJ Lee made that promo."
"I mean…why didn't you think before you posted it?"
"Because why can't I have an opinion on women's wrestling in the very company I worked in?!"
Rayleen immediately facepalms before trying to hold in a chuckle.
"You. Stupid. Idiot." the War Queen groans.
"Geez, sorry, Little Miss Nosebleed."
"Let's just skip this one." she suggests. "I don't feel like giving you a lecture on this crap."
"Alright, I'm already considering calling this the 'Feminism Episode'." Furno replies as he closes the laptop. "Last topic for today is, I suppose, because Valentine's Day is a real holiday, Valentine's Day."
It doesn't take long for the War Queen to raise an eyebrow. "...I suppose."
"Anyway, I'm pretty sure you guys watching right now have had some...unmagical Valentine's Days, and I will be sharing mine, which I wasn't proud of." Furno explains.
"What did you do, Jace?" Rayleen asks.
"Okay, so I got paid by this pretty girl I had a crush on in my high school to embarrass her ex for cheating on her for some other popular girl. That same ex was the one who gave me my shittiest high school nickname: Whoreson."
"Was it seriously common knowledge to everyone in your school that you're an illegitimate child?" she asks again.
"Yep and I absolutely hated it. Anyway, what did I do? Valentine's Day came, I brought one of those small chains with me to a party the ex was throwing, then I choked him until he breathed out an 'I'm sorry'."
"WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?!" Rayleen's roar of shock startles the lunatic beside her.
"After that, I walked up to the pretty girl who paid me and then asked her out to dinner, me paying. Then, she smacked me in the face and walked away, leaving me there with a chain and a wad of cash."
The War Queen facepalms. "Clearly, she wanted you to humiliate him, not choke him to oblivion."
"True. I never spoke to the girl after that." Furno explains. "So, any unmagical Valentine's Days on your side?"
"Hmm...let's see...another high school story in my case. So, I was dating this guy, Football player, very popular in school. We were going strong. Dad approved his relationship with me,-"
"I assume shit hit the fan on Valentine's Day." Furno says.
"Obviously. Long story short, Valentine's Day, I was going to visit him in the football field so we can go to dinner, then...I saw him fucking kissing some other girl in school. Now, you know me, Jace. I'm not someone you want to piss off." Furno nods as Rayleen continues the story. "And the fact that I gave my heart to him...made me upset. Honestly, the worst part is that the girl he cheated on me with was one of those stereotypical preppy bitches who would rather manipulate boys to do her homework than do it herself, and EVERYONE KNEW IT. Take a wild guess what I did."
"Straight up murder?"
"Close enough. The guy who broke my heart? I broke his arm, along with the slut's own."
Furno starts clapping at the story. "Well said!"
"Thanks...I suppose."
"That's better than getting a friend to pee on a punch bowl." Furno adds.
"What?" Rayleen asks.
"That was my original plan but my friend got sick on that day. Anyway, I suppose that's all for today's episode. Rayleen, thank you for being on the show."
"No problem, and you owe me for this."
"Of course..."
With that, the screen fades to black.
Hat tip to the Lucha Warrior for helping out in the last segment
