Disclaimer: See Chapter 3.


Starting Over

Cody was helped back into his bed by Layla, her bright smile doing nothing to help his foul mood. "Twenty-three fucking years old and I can't even take a piss on my own," he mumbled under his breath as she walked away. He turned his head, blue eyes falling on Roman's slightly surprised face. His heart seized, eyes widening. "Sorry, I didn't know you came in." He felt his body grow a little hot, that gaze making him squirm.

Roman shook his head, turning his attention to the new view of a brick wall with black tinted windows. "They could've at least given you a room with a view," he finally said, turning back to see a light smile on Cody's lips. "I mean, you are in rehab, what's more depressing than a brick wall and offices?"

Cody chuckled, the sudden embarrassment of being helped to and from the toilet completely gone. "We get along good right?" he asked, adjusting his aching legs. "We live together so we don't fight or anything?"

Roman froze for a moment, telling himself not to think about just how well him and Cody had gotten along in their relationship. "Er, we have our days, but who doesn't," he answered, sighing gently. "So, they letting you have real food yet?"

Cody nodded, reaching to the side opposite of Roman where his tray was sitting, a large jug of ice water sitting there. He took a drink and put it back on the wheeled tray. "Yeah, they took that thing out of my nose early this morning. Took me half an hour to get it to stop bleeding."

Roman nodded, wishing he could've been there at least for support. "Dusty said they're gonna let you come home after your legs heal up enough. Are they working you hard in the therapy?"

Cody shook his head. "Not really, I'm just really tired afterwards and right now they have me using a walker to keep balanced. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not walking with that thing when I get out of this fucking place. So if you tell Dad about it, I might smother you while you sleep," he threatened playfully, laughing when he saw Roman's face light up and a deep chuckle vibrated in his throat.

Roman smiled, scooting down the visitor's sofa, reaching out and taking Cody's hand in his. He felt Cody flinch to pull away. "I just wanted to say I was sorry for all this. I wasn't watching the road, if I had, you wouldn't have got hurt," he murmured, looking down at the paled skin. He took a chance and closed both of his hands tightly over Cody's, wanting nothing more than to kiss the warm flesh. "I'm so sorry Cody."

Cody felt his chest tighten around his heart, unable to shake the feeling that Roman held more feelings towards him than just a roommate. After a moment he tugged his hand free, smiling softly at Roman. "Accidents happen sometimes. Dad told me that they skipped the sign, not you. You can't prevent stupid," he answered, voice soft as it caressed Roman's skin. "Don't apologize."

Roman nodded, sighing as he leaned back, a knock coming at the door. He watched as it opened and a tall blond haired man stepped in, a playful smile on his lips. Roman couldn't help but smile, Jay looking strange out of his plain scrubs and in a pair of black jeans and white tang top, a deep blue button up with light blue palm trees covering him, a pair of sunglasses perched on top of his head. "Jay," he breathed, shaking his head. "What are you doing here?"

Jay shrugged, smiling at Roman and Cody. "Heard he was awake, so I came to check on you," he said, really taking a look at Cody. Past all of the well healing bruises he was really handsome, and those blue eyes were just soul piercing. "He's pretty handsome. You're a lucky guy Roman."

"Um, do I know you?" Cody asked, confused more with why he suddenly didn't like the way the new man was smiling at Roman than the words he'd spoke.

"I'm Jay Reso. I was actually Roman's nurse when he was upstairs. He was one of my favorite patients, he never shut up about you," he introduced, smiling bright and extending his hand for Cody to take.

Cody shook the offered hand, looking over at Roman. "You talked about me?"

Roman felt his heart rate increase, almost panicking as he looked up at Jay's confused face. "J-just how worried I was," Roman retorted, trying to play it off. "Um, will you talk to me in the hall real quick Jay?"

Jay nodded, taking a step back and looking at Cody before waving slightly. "Well, it was good finally meeting you. Get to feeling better soon, kay?" He smiled, turning and following Roman to the hall. "So, what did I miss?"

Roman sighed, closing the door. "He's got memory loss."

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't even ask before I just barged in on you guys," he apologized, reaching up and scratching the back of his head in nervousness. "If you don't mind me asking, how bad?"

"He doesn't remember anything from the last three years," Roman breathed, shaking his head, the pain still fresh. "In his mind, we haven't even met so I told him we were just roommates."

Jay nodded, a sad frown settling on his lips. "Roman, that's really noble of you to do for his sake, but what about your own feelings? This has to be hard on you," he queried, taking a chance and resting his hand on Roman's muscled arm, his fingers a stark contrast to the tribal ink. "You can't keep it a secret forever."

Roman nodded, knowing that Jay was right and only trying to help. "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it," he answered, looking into the light brown eyes. "Thanks for coming to check on us though. I never thought I would make friends with a nurse."

Jay smirked, pulling his hand back and resting both on his hips. "Well, you know, this nurse is single and always looking for some fun."

Roman wasn't sure if the implication was meant for him or if he had any available friends. "Erm, I don't think I'll be on the dating scene for a while, if ever," he murmured, looking into the dark eyes almost ashamed when he heard a deep laugh.

"No worries there, you're not my type, but if you have any friends interested, we can all meet up for drinks sometime. Here's my number," Jay said, walking over to the nurses station and grabbing a pen and a piece of paper. "But in all seriousness, I doubt you'll need it, but if you just want someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

Roman smiled, taking the paper and stuffing it into his back pocket. "Thanks Jay."

"No problem, well, I've caused enough commotion for today and this is my only day off for the next week and a half, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get some sun," Jay teased, extending his hand to shake Roman's. "Good luck."

"Thanks," Roman answered, shaking Jay's hand and watching the smaller male walk away. He shook his head, turning back to Cody's room and headed back in. "You decent?"

"Not like you probably haven't seen it before if I wasn't," Cody called back, a little stunned by his words. He shook his head, brows furrowing. He had always been playful but he'd never made jokes like that with someone unless they were super close. He looked up, a sudden smile landing on his lips as he looked into the bronzed face. "Where'd the other guy go?"

Roman shut the door and took a seat next to Cody. "Only day off, he went to get out of this place for a while." He took a big breath, letting it out slow.

"He likes you," Cody blurted, a little surprised at his apparent irritation. "You should ask him out." He felt his fists tighten in his lap, a sudden jealousy hitting him hard. "I mean, you're single right? Why else would you spend all your time up here with me?"

Roman shrugged, each word of encouragement stabbing him in his already wounded heart. "Naw," he murmured, waving it off. "He's not my type." He smiled, the look on Cody's face something he hadn't seen in a while. That look of hope and somewhat shock easily mirrored the moment that he'd asked Cody out. "I already have feelings for someone else anyway."

Cody cocked his head to the side, the softness that Roman's voice had taken on intriguing him. "Really? Do I know him?" he asked, smiling at the sudden smile on Roman's lips. "Better yet, does he know?"

Roman paused, unsure of how to answer. "No… he doesn't know," he answered slowly, looking down at his hands that were fiddling in his lap. "I don't really think I want him to know. It'll only be trouble."

"Is he married or something?"

Roman smiled sadly, thinking about when he'd met Cody, how he was still in an off and on relationship with Drew. "Something like that," he murmured, looking down at his tightly clasped hands. "He's uh… he doesn't even know I exist."

"That's not fair to yourself," Cody said, feeling like he'd heard those words somewhere else before. He closed his eyes, leaning back into the pillows. "Have you talked to Drew?"

Roman felt a sharp edge of ice start to sink into his heart. "Not today, he didn't come up yesterday?" he asked, forcing a smile on his lips. "He's been worried about you. I figured he would've been up here before me."

Cody shook his head, looking down at his splinted arm. Even though he couldn't remember Roman, he felt calm with him around. He bit back a smile, looking back up so he could really take in the other man. He looked over the handsome face, his fingers begging to run through the long hair that was currently tied back into a tight bun. He swallowed, those lips seemingly begging to be kissed. He looked back down at his splint, telling himself that it wasn't right to look at his roommate like that. They were roommates, nothing more and he already had someone else he loved, not to mention Roman had just told him about his own love interest. He only hoped that the other man's feelings hadn't died in the three years he couldn't remember.

"Twenty seven," Roman whispered a moment later, looking up into confused blue eyes. "You're twenty-seven." He saw a realization flash through Cody's eyes before he groaned in frustration.

"I missed out on some prime years!" he whimpered, sinking back into his pillows and sighing heavily. "Christ."

Roman chuckled, leaning back onto the plastic couch and taking in Cody's annoyed look. "Don't worry, we had fun," he said, pausing as piercing blue eyes landed on him. He looked away, thankful when he heard the door open. He looked up, stomach doing a flip.

"Drew!" Cody gasped, a huge, excited smile plastering itself on his lips. He looked over the other man, the dark blue eyes still as lovely and his tall body still hard.

"Hey Cody," Drew started, taking in the excitement in the small male, his eyes sliding over to where Roman was sitting, a dark look on his features. "Hey Roman. Sorry I didn't make it up yesterday. I had a serious case of jet lag and needed the sleep."

"It's okay, you're here now!" Cody nearly cried, motioning for Drew to come and sit next to him. "How's Scotland? Dad said you just came back."

"It's okay, still home," Drew answered, sitting down in the chair next to Cody's bed. He instantly had Cody's hand in his, those blue eyes focused solely on him. He looked down at the white sheets, wondering just how much it was hurting Roman to see his lover acting so excited about seeing an ex-lover. "You feeling okay?"

Cody nodded, still smiling. "Yeah, better now that you're here. I heard your voice while I was out," he admitted, cheeks starting to deepen in color. "Did your divorce go through?"

Roman stood, unable to listen to anymore. "I'm going," he said, looking back at the two sets of eyes on him. "I'll be up later, you want anything Cody?"

Cody shook his head, unsure of what had gotten into Roman. "Everything okay?" he asked, eyes falling on the tight fists. He felt something tug at his heart, telling him that it wasn't right that Roman leave.

"Everything's fine," Roman bit out, refusing to look into those blue eyes that he loved so much. "I just need some air." He took a step towards the door, looking over his shoulder when he heart Cody go to protest again. He waited only a moment before turning back towards the door and leaving, anger and frustration bubbling in his chest.

"Is he really okay?" Cody asked softly, suddenly feeling anxious. "Drew?" He looked over, dark eyes resting on their clasped hands. "Drew?"

"Cody, what exactly do you remember?" he asked, refusing to believe what Dusty had told him about Cody being unable to remember Roman or the last three years. "What's the last major thing that sticks out in your mind?"

Cody closed his eyes, trying hard to think of something, still the very last memory being of him and Drew walking into a Starbucks to get their usual coffee and chit-chat. That time, Drew had brought up that him and his wife were getting divorced. "The last thing I remember is us talking about you and Tayrn getting divorced. You and her finally had it out and she punched you," he started, opening his eyes and looking into Drew's. "I can't remember anything past that."

Drew sighed, his tongue pressing against his cheek, his teeth sinking into it. "Yeah, the divorce was finalized that next January. She moved back to New Orleans," he breathed, Cody's hand tightening around his. He inwardly sighed, telling himself that it wasn't right that he enjoy the attention that Cody was giving him again. He'd let the other man go back when Roman had gotten into the picture.

"Are you dating anyone?" Cody asked softly, telling his heart to stop beating so hard in his chest. It wasn't just nerves that were filling him. Some sort of regret and unease was also there, telling him not to ask questions like that.

Drew shook his head, thinking about Roman and how much it had to hurt him to lie to Cody and tell him that they were only roommates. "So, what do you think of Roman? He's an interesting guy, huh?" he brought up, the slightly confused face of the other man making him smile.

"He's okay, I guess, for a roommate," Cody answered, looking down at the sheets for a moment. "He's really… uh… attentive. I guess that's what you call it." He thought about how often he'd been with Roman, how at ease he felt with him there. "I just wish that I could remember him. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot. It's just something about him."

Drew nodded, his thumb stroking over Cody's tenderly. "Do you think he's good looking?" he asked, wondering if a little prodding would help Cody remember anything.

Cody shrugged, quickly pursing his lips before looking back into blue eyes. "He's okay. Why? Do you two have something going on or something?" he asked, his heart pounding in his chest. He was afraid of the answer.

Drew couldn't help but laugh out loud, covering his mouth with his other hand to keep from howling. "Oh, that's priceless. I wish he was here to hear that!" he chuckled, letting the humor settle in him. "Funny thing is, Roman and I actually don't get along much at all. He doesn't like me and I'm not a big fan of his either."

"Oh, that's um…"

"Unfortunate, but that's just how it is with us," Drew finished, sighing. "You used to beg us to get along all the time. The last few months it seemed like you just gave up though. It's been a losing battle for three years almost."

Cody thought about it, wondering why it would matter that much to him just for his roommate and Drew to get along, Were him and Roman that good of friends? Had they been that close before the accident? "What was he to me?" he asked softly, looking down at the sheets again, still unable to shake the feeling that him and Roman has been closer than mere roommates.

Drew bit his tongue, the bitter taste of copper blossoming in his mouth. He didn't want to lie to Cody, but he didn't want to break the false reality that Roman had created for Cody either. "You were really good friends, probably some of the best," he answered after a moment more of thinking. It wasn't a lie, though it wasn't the whole truth. "He's really protective, that's all."

"You make it sound like he was my lover or something," Cody chuckled, closing his eyes and smiling. "So, when I get to come home, we should go out for a weekly coffee, you can catch me up on everything that I'm missing."

Drew was happy that Cody didn't see the look of shock on his face, or feel the way his hands started to shake. "Yeah, we'll have to go out," he murmured back, looking towards the window, wondering how Roman was taking it so well to be forgotten and left behind like he'd been nothing in Cody's life.


Roman sat quietly at the local bar, the brown bottle of beer held loosely in his hand by the neck as he swirled the last few sips around in the bottom of the bottle, grey eyes focused on the bubbly liquid. He leaned back in the booth, slouching down so that only his ass was on the seat, his legs stretched out between Seth and Dean and under the booth across from him. He hadn't wanted to go out, but he hadn't had the choice when Trinity and Jon had came by and forced him into their car, telling him he 'needed to loosen up and relax'. He didn't need to relax, he needed time alone. That's what he really wanted, was to be alone.

"C'mon Rome, cheer up a bit," Seth eased, reaching across the table and taking Roman's hand in his. "He could wake up tomorrow and remember everything. Just keep on hoping and thinking about it like that, okay?"

Roman shrugged, tipping the bottle to his lips so he could take in the last little bit, making a face at the bitter lukewarm beer. "Fucking hate warm beer," he muttered, setting the bottle down gently and looking around the bar, the same crowd around that he was used to: college students. He didn't want to think about them, knowing that in a couple of months he would be right back at the University.

Trinity leaned over the back of the bar, resting her head on Roman's slouched shoulder. "There's someone at the bar looking for you," she whispered roughly, trying to keep the words between her and Roman but talk over the loud music that was pounding into them.

Roman looked over, eyes landing on a dark headed man with wavy hair. "Brad," he sighed with a smile, shaking his head. "He's not trying to find me Trin. He's attempting to find some cute college girl."

"Same diff," Trinity laughed, turning back so she could face her best friend across the table, the caramel skinned woman thin and sassy looking. "Ari, go get him," she said, pointing to the man there. "He's harmless. He's one of Roman's co-workers. He's a history professor I think."

The other woman raised an eyebrow, looking him over. She had to admit that he was good looking, shorter than her average type but still handsome. "Roman, please say he isn't gay," she near yelled, looking at the back of the dark head.

"No, straight as they come," Roman answered, slouching even further down in the seat. He didn't want to spend his evening talking to Brad either, even if he was probably one of his closest friends from the University. He looked over at the sympathetic brown eyes, Seth's smile falling into a deep frown.

"How is he Rome?" he finally asked, deciding it would be best if he bit the bullet and asked about Cody first.

Roman shook his head, crossing his arms across his chest. "I don't want to talk about it," he muttered, Seth sliding out of his side of the booth and slipping in next to him. He looked away towards the wall, jaw tight to keep from thinking about what he'd heard before he'd left the hospital.

Seth sighed, wrapping his arms around his best friend in a loose hug. "It's okay Rome," he breathed, pulling back a moment later to look into the watery grey eyes. "Talk to us."

"I told him I was just his fucking roommate," he bit out through clenched teeth, sitting straight up and looking down at the table. He shook his head again, heart aching. "And all he remembers is Drew. Shit, I'm fucking pathetic."

Seth looked across the table at Dean, who at that moment was unsure of what to say or even do. He reached down and took Roman's hand in his, smiling softly as he tilted his head down to capture Roman's hard stare. "Hey, just make him remember you. Make him fall in love with you all over again. It won't be hard considering how quick it was last time," he suggested, dark grey eyes narrowing.

"This isn't a movie Seth," Roman growled, looking away again. "This is real. I'm back at square one in his mind. He doesn't even know me and I'm stuck here confused and pissed off because I can't just stop loving him because he can't remember anything!" He slammed his fist down on the table, crossing them back over his chest. "I just want to go home."

"I'll take you home Rome," Dean suddenly said, scooting out, fumbling to get his legs over Roman's as he slid out of the bench seat. "C'mon. Seth, I'll come pick you up later, or if you can catch a ride with Jon and Trin." He reached over and finished off his half empty beer and slid it back on the table. He started towards the door, missing the look of confusion on the others' faces, or that Brad and Ariane were walking over to them.

Roman followed behind Dean without another word, getting into the passenger seat of Dean's Chevy truck and sighing, hands shaking in his lap. "Thank you," he breathed, looking over at Dean as he got in and started the truck. "I know you guys mean well, but I'm not in the mood."

Dean nodded, turning to look behind them as he backed up and pulled out of his parking spot before driving into traffic. "This was my idea, I didn't think about how you felt," he admitted, looking over at Roman's closed eyes. "We thought getting you out of the house would help some. Obviously, that wasn't the case."

Roman groaned in response.

Dean was silent for a moment, stopping behind a few other cars at a red light. He wanted nothing more than to talk to Roman about what had happened between him and Seth, knowing the other man would have some sort of advice or thoughts on his situation. "I kissed him," he blurted, closing his eyes, tongue pressed hard against the backs of his teeth as he winced. He hadn't meant for it to come out quite that blunt.

Roman's eyes slow slid open, looking from the red taillights ahead of them over to Dean's uneasy face. "What?" he asked, looking up at the freshly green light, the other cars slowly starting forward.

Dean's eyes popped open, embarrassment thick on his face as he followed behind the steady line of cars. "When we were at your place helping you move things around and we went to get drinks, yeah. I couldn't get you and Cody out of my head and I just did it right there on the sidewalk," he explained hurriedly, feeling more and more stupid with each word. He sighed, slamming the heel of his fist into the steering wheel. "I told him just to take it for what it was."

Roman slouched down in his seat a little, leaning heavily against the door, his arm propped up on the arm rest on the door, his cheek pressed against his fist. "And?" he asked, knowing there was more that was begging to be pulled out of Dean.

"And he hasn't fucking said anything about it since!" Dean snapped, looking over into the grey eyes, startled at his outburst. "He could at least tell me he wasn't interested. He's just acting like it never happened."

"You didn't really give him an opening to say much else Dean," Roman muttered, closing his eyes, letting the steady rock of the car soothe him. "You can't be passive-aggressive with Seth, you know that. Look where it's gotten him now, Phil's got him so confused most of the time, he has no idea what to think half the time when it comes to that kind of thing."

Dean muttered under his breath, turning off of the main road to a more residential neighborhood. "But he's known me longer than that prick," he growled, trying to rationalize Seth's avoidance of the subject. "We've only known each other since Jr. High."

Roman groaned, sitting straight up and looking right at Dean as they stopped at a stop sign. "And how old are you now Dean? You're twenty-seven years old, stop acting like we're still in high school," he snapped, more than a little irritated with Dean's lack of confidence. "I don't know who the fuck you are, but you are not the Dean Ambrose I'm friends with."

Dean smirked, shaking his head as he started down the road again, slowing down before stopping completely in front of Roman and Cody's house. "Yeah, well, he's the only one that does this to me, so excuse the bitchiness," he laughed, looking over to find a soft smile on Roman's lips. "Look, I didn't mean to just drop all this on you. I just needed someone to talk to about it. I know you got a lot going on with Cody and everything."

Roman shrugged, taking a deep breath. "It's cool. It's better dealing with you two then constantly reminding myself that I'm supposed to be Cody's roommate," he answered, looking into the worried blue eyes. "So, tell Seth that it's all me and Cody ever were."

Dean looked down into the black floorboard, feeling more than a little sorry for Roman. "That's not fair Rome, you know that. How're you supposed to just be his roommate when you've been together the last two and half years?" he asked, looking up into adverted eyes. "Roman."

"Because it's all I can do for him right now. When we met he was still stuck on Drew and right now, that's the only person he's got feelings for. I don't want to confuse him more than he already is," Roman explained, unclipping his seat belt and getting out of the navy blue truck. He turned to face Dean, a sad smile touching his lips. "It's better this way for right now. Thanks for bringing me home. I'll see you later." With that he shut the door and started up the driveway, telling himself to not let the emptiness of the house overwhelm him anymore than it already was.


(A/N): So many feels for Roman. I'm so mean to him, probably because I like seeing him in pain. So, well, we've learned a lot so far. And Cody only has eyes for a certain blue eyed Scottie. So, thoughts? Let me know loves! Onwards and Upwards! Title is Starting Over by Saliva.

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