AN: As such this is my first fic. But Really this is more an Advertisement for my Forum "Plot Bunnies that need a how" I meant home. If you Enjoy this and my Idea please go to the Forum and Join in Please
Special Thanks to my Beta-Editor a fellow LuNa writer Urainium235.
It has also come to my mind that this is Technical AU because I am making a past for Luffy that may and most likely won't be true. If I say something that is contrary to the Show (this is based of the anime more then the Manga which is why it is set before the Zombie stuff) I'd like to know for my own personal reasons but I will not go back and Fix continuity errors so the AU label fixes me having to.
One final note their will be jokes throughout this fic based on Japanese word play (puns) It is the best way to make this, in my mind like to show, like the show most attacks are based off of Puns and all of the other jokes.
Should've Known
Luffy should have known better then to try and get away from her; it always made things worst when he tried to run from her.
Luffy was not very happy rubber monkey in his current situation.
He never was one to stay in one place for very long, unless he needed to (toilet), and hated being pinned down even more. But even though he technically had the physical strength to force Yuki off he chose not to because through a long time of trial and error he knew that any attempt he made to move away from her or touch her, would be interpreted by her as either a play of affection on his part or an open invitation for her to try something.
So his only hope to get out from under her was that she would have to want to move, or what he figured would happen, considering his crewmates, she would have to be distracted from him long enough for him to scurry away. Thankfully Luffy knew his crew well and knew that he shortly be saved by a fellow crewmember's ignorance.
Luffy's saviour finally came to the rescue ; Sanji waltzed in and made his entrance by grabbing Yuki's hand.
"Bienvenue" he kissed her hand (big mistake) "Mademoiselle" he said in most charming voice in his attempt to appear gallant.
However this action, although giving Luffy just what he wanted, resulted in Sanji getting the exact opposite reaction of what he wanted, and expected. Yuki immediately stood up from her position on Luffy and he saw Nami sigh in relief at this action, Yuki took her hand away from Sanji re-adjusted her self, and brought her red high heeled steel toed boot up with shocking speed and accuracy directly into Sanji's groin.
For the freedom of Luffy sacrifices had to be made
"My… my…my…my…balls" Sanji whispered with teary eye's clutching his pride and joy while he rolled on the ground pathetically.
"It hurt just looking at him." said Franky and Chopper from the deck and Usopp said from the crows nest.
"I DON'T RECALL GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO TOUCH ME LET ALONE KISS ME BURONDO(1)"
"heh heh heh" Zoro Chuckled at Sanji's misfortion "great going Love-Cook" but Sanji didn't respond to the swordsman's insult, he was in way to much pain (whether it was all physical was uncertain)
"I MEAN DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SENSE I WOLD NEVER LET A BURON-"
"Ahem" Robin cleared her throat behind Nami to get Yuki's attention "sorry to interrupt your rant Marine-san, but what are you doing here" she said with her arms crossed in front of her chest prepared for a fight if she didn't like her answer.
"oh excuse me Nico-sama" Yuki said with a bow, she began to turn around "would you care to introduce me to your-" she stopped and she noticed the lack of Luffy present with his outline blinking in the place where he was before "…Raba-Luffy where'd you go!!!" she said with a pout.
Yuki begin to search for Luffy when she noticed a person in the Crows nest
"Excuse me Sogeking-sama?" Usopp hid himself further into the Crows nest "but did you see which way Raba-Luffy went" Usopp shook his head vigorously in a derection meaning 'no'. Unfortunately his nose was mistaken for him pointing in a direction. "Well thank you….ah there you are" she said as she spotted Luffy heading towards the back of the ship.
Luffy was incredibly thankful to Sanji, maybe when dinner came around he wouldn't steal his meat... maybe, Sanji had proved an excellent distraction he actually managed to crawl all the way to the door that would let him hide below deck.
However he should've known it wouldn't be that easy
"KyAAAAAAA"
'ah damn' Luffy was again tackled to the ground
"Now, Now, Raba-Luffy" she rubbed her cheek against his "you need to introduce me"
"AND WHY WOULD I DO THAT!"
"It's the polite thing to do" she pressed her chest into his back "beside if you don't I will and you know what I'll say" she said as she blew into his ear
He sighed again, he seemed to be doing that a lot today, "fine, but you have to behave" he new almost word for word what she would say and it was not something he wanted his Nakama, and more specifically Nami, to hear.
"KyAAA" she squealed again "I knew you would do this for me" she helped him up and dragged him back to the area where below the crows nest where the rest of the crew were gathered underneath the Crows nest, Usopp was finally "convinced" to come down from the lookout (Nami had threatened him), and Sanji had recovered from his earlier encounter with Yuki, waiting for Luffy to get back
The Crew was in various states of readiness awaiting the arrival of Luffy, they looked pretty intimidating apart for Sanji who while recovered was standing side on and cringing slightly so not to offer the same target twice.
"Owe, who is this SUPER, woman that flowered the cook." Franky said when Luffy came back into view
"That Burondo had it coming only Raba-Luffy can touch me without my say so, he has had permission for years" she said winking at Luffy and offering a glare at Nami. Yuki wasn't stupid she new competition when she saw it.
"I TOLD YOU TO BEHAVE AND LET GO" he said trying, but not to hard, to pull his left arm from her grasp. He had learnt the limit years ago if he tried to hard Yuki would think it was a "love tussle".
"Oh come on Raba-Luffy that only goes into effect after you introduce me" she kissed him on the cheek yet again giving Nami yet another look this time of smugness "and you know I have no intention of letting you run away" Luffy scowled at this.
By this time Nami and Yuki were still trying to gauge the others threat. If they were cats they would have had all their hair standing on end and prowling around each other. The "calm" before the storm.
"Well… Luffy who exactly is this woman" Nami said through a frown, she spat out the last word like it was tainted.
"I thought I heard you call her Yuki, right Captain-san" Robin asked. Robin attempted to bring some intelligent conversation in rather than veiled insults.
"Yeah" Luffy said smiling at Robin's observation through all this our Rubber man has completely missed the friction between Nami and Yuki.
"She wouldn't by any chance be Captain "tonchinkan (2)" Kyuuka Yuki now would she?"
"Who's that?" chopper asked with child like curiosity
"She is a captain of the Marine's who joined the Marians about 3 years ago, it is said that she holds the record for fastest ascension to the rank of captain the Marines have ever seen."
"Really!!!" Chopper said with stars in his eyes
"Yep" Yuki said and grabbed Luffy's arm tighter "I did it in less then a year Reindeer-Sama"
"It doesn't make me Happy that you actually recognized me as a Reindeer you Bitch" Chopper said with a smile on his face and his arms swaying back and forth
"Does he have Tourettes Raba-Luffy?" Yuki inquired while obviously flirting with Luffy
Luffy chose to ignore this and answer the question 'I honestly have no idea Yuki-san'. Unfortunately for Luffy thanks to the incredible power of selective hearing and human delusions Yuki heard the word "chan" instead.
"KyAAA" she squealed again as she went in to kiss his lips
However Nami would have none of that and steeped in and pushed Yuki and her Luffy apart.
"yes yes that's all well and good but what are you doing here! What's your connection with Luffy! And what was that light before you got her!" Nami barraged her with questions while implanting herself reasonable close to Luffy.
Luffy nevertheless seems to remain oblivious.
"It's was probably an after affect of her dissentions from Heaven" Sanji spoke up finally recovering his standard "I love women mood"
Sanji was promptly shutdown
"NO ONE ASKED YOU SANJ-KUN/BURONDO" Nami and Yuki yelled at him and went back to glaring at each other. A seagull directly behind Yuki died from a heart attack. Some of the wood behind Nami started to crack and shrivel.
Looks CAN kill
After several minutes Robin cleared her throat again bringing Nami and Yuki out of their unofficial staring and killing contest.
"I too would like an answer to those questions to Marine-san". Robin sensed no killing intent towards the rest of the crew whatever she disliked Nami for must have been personal.
"Oh right" she cleared her throat and prepared herself for her speech.
Yuki pulled something out of a pocket on the interior of her coat. She then began to unfold the object several times and slowly it turned into a board with pictures drawn on it. She then pulled out a pointer from another pocket on her coat and extended it.
There are so many things Luffy should have known. Yuki loved visual aids and she always made her explanations "colorful". He should have known he was cause of the Nami vs Yuki glares, he should have known this was going to be a word of trouble, but he didn't.
Whoever said ignorance is bliss deserves a gomu gomu no bazooka right up their-
The Yuki's explanation began.
Ending Notes
1: Burondo: Japanese for blonde Yuki uses it interchangeable with Baka
2: tonchinkan: absurdity, contradiction
