[Sorry about that last chapter. Hope it didn't turn too many people off. Unfortunately, it's the reality of the disorder. This one is still a bit medical, but not as graphic.]

Chapter 4: Insult to Injury

Cottonmouth. Throat scratchy. Bad taste/smell. Swallow = pain. Limbs heavy. Gill reached the first level of consciousness after several hours of surgery, and these things were all her mind could register. She had only the vaguest impression of her surroundings, before….. Darkness.

Forty five minutes later, she came to again and was able to open her eyes a bit. She couldn't seem to focus, there were annoying noises everywhere, there was something in her nose and then there was her throat…oh, her throat…! Gillian tried to swallow and it hurt. She tried to clear her throat and not only was that scratchy and sore, but it made her abdomen hurt. She closed her heavy lids and succumbed to the darkness once again.

Another half hour. "Dr. Foster? Gillian?"

Who was calling her, Gill wondered. "Hmm?" was all she could manage.

"Take a deep breath, Gillian," she was instructed, and she did. It was more like a sigh, really, and she let out a little grunt on expiration.

"Again, Gillian. Take a deep breath." She tried harder this time and was rewarded for her efforts. She felt more alert and opened her eyes. Gill focused on the face of a young brunette woman in blue scrubs who was holding her arm, pumping…something. It finally registered that the nurse was taking her blood pressure. She realized she was in recovery and it was over. She shivered.

"There you are!" The nurse said, smiling kindly. "I'm Carrie; I'm going to be watching you while you're here."

"So dry…" Gill croaked.

Carrie turned away briefly and came back into view. "Here's an ice chip, Gillian, open your mouth." She complied and was rewarded with a wet cold square, flat on the bottom and domed on the top, and oh so smooth. She sucked on it and swallowed the blessed water. It was lovely relief for her poor throat.

"Thank you," she said, groggily.

The nurse pulled drapes around the bed. "On a scale of one to ten, how's your pain?" Carrie asked as she checked Gill's dressing.

Gill did a mental check and considered. "About a four," she said.

"Good," Carrie said. "Then the pain meds are working. As soon as you wake up a little more, the doctor will come and talk to you about the surgery. More ice chips?"

"Please." Gill was grateful. Her head was fuzzy. She shivered again. "So cold."

"I'll get you a warm blanket, be right back," the nurse said as she opened the drapes again; and then she was gone from view.

Gillian glanced at her surroundings. This must be the recovery suite, she thought. It was similar to the pre-op suite, only this had no barriers between the beds. She supposed that was so the nurses had an unencumbered view of all the patients at once. Staff hustled and bustled about; and there were beeps and blips and alarms going off occasionally. She couldn't stop shivering and looked up at the long plastic fluid-filled bag above her and followed the tubing down to her right arm. She took her left arm from under the covers and moved her hand up to her face, smacking herself in the chin. She didn't quite have control of all her motor functions, yet. She tried again and was able to touch the real target, her nose, and found that there was an oxygen cannula there. The dry air blowing into her passages was not helping her throat.

Carrie came back with the blanket and placed it over Gill. "Here you go, that better?" she asked.

The blanket had actually been warmed, and Gill smiled her gratitude. "Mmmm, much." she said and shivered a final time. She took a deep breath and was able to relax her body in the warmth, discovering that her pain diminished. Then she asked, "what is that smell?"

"Smell or taste?" the nurse asked, eyeing her.

Gill considered. "Um, I guess…both."

"That's a remnant of the anesthesia. It will go away in a couple of days." Carrie wrapped a cord around the bedrail, showed Gill the white button on the end and instructed, "If the pain starts to bother you, press this button. You can press it as much as you like, but it's a timed metered dose, so it's impossible to give yourself too much medication. Don't wait until your pain is unbearable to take the meds. If you keep yourself comfortable, you're likely to heal faster." She released the button and asked, "Can you reach this?"

Gill put her hand out and demonstrated that she could.

"Good, keep taking deep breaths. You're almost alert enough to leave here," she smiled. "We'll have to let Dr. Prasad know." Carrie checked the IV line and turned back to Gill. "You can continue to suck on ice chips as long as it doesn't make you sick to your stomach. Let me know if that happens, Okay?"

Gill was grateful and nodded. The nurse walked away to the central desk. It seemed that she was doing okay, and Gill was looking forward to going home. Just glad it's over, she thought as she rested her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes.

Someone was calling her name and Gillian realized she must have dozed off again. When she opened her eyes, there were two people on either side of her bed, one of them Carrie, who said, "Gillian, we're going to put you in a different bed." Gill didn't understand why and in her fuzzy state, she didn't care. They knew best, anyway. They placed her arms across her chest and grasped the sheet beneath her. On the count of three, they slid her over to the other bed which was cold beneath her. The jostling caused a bolt of pain in her abdomen and her hands shot out to grasp the bedrails as her eyes widened and she grunted and hissed.

"Here," Carrie said, as her hand moved to the white button and pushed it. "Sorry," she said. "We should have given you some of that before we moved you. You just looked liked you were comfortable."

"I was, until you moved me," Gill complained. She was surprised at how much it hurt. And now, she felt like she had to go to the bathroom and she said so to the nurse.

"You've got a catheter in, so that's not a problem," Carrie assured as she bent to check the device. "Everything looks okay; it may have pulled a little when we moved you."

"A catheter?" Gill was surprised. So many questions began to form in her mind, and she felt it was time for some answers. "Did I miss Dr. Prasad?" She asked.

"Dr. Prasad is on the floor, and will see you there." Carrie informed her.

On the floor….on the floor, Gill puzzled, but couldn't seem to focus. As the medication took effect, Gill sensed motion beneath her, as if she were flying. "What's going on?" She asked, to no one in particular. She was more groggy now, and her eyelids were very heavy.

"We're taking you to your r…." And she slept once more.

LB LB LB LB

Ria checked the time. Why hadn't the hospital called? It wasn't supposed to take this long. Gill had called her into her office yesterday and had confided in Ria that she was having some "minor" surgery. She had asked if Ria would mind taking her to the hospital and picking her up afterwards. Gill didn't share what the procedure was, but said that the hospital wouldn't do it unless there was someone who could drive her home. Gill had explained that a taxi wouldn't do, since a patient recovering from anesthesia might give the wrong directions, be mistaken for a drug user or be taken advantage of. Gill hated to impose, she had said, but Ria had replied she was happy to help.

When she had dropped Gill off this morning, the hospital had assured her that they would call when she was in recovery so Ria could pick Gill up and take her home around lunchtime. However, it was already after one.

Her cellphone rang and Ria placed it to her ear. "Ms. Torres?" a voice on the other end asked.

"Yes?" Ria answered.

"This is Helen at George Washington University hospital. We just wanted to let you know that your friend Gillian Foster is in the recovery room."

"Is she okay?" Ria questioned. "That took a lot longer than I expected!"

"She's fine and is being moved to a room on the third floor." The woman on the other end of the line answered.

"That can't be right," Ria instructed. "I was supposed to pick her up afterward and take her home." The person on the other end of the phone hesitated. This isn't good, thought Ria.

"Are you family?" Helen inquired.

"No. I think her family's in California, but I'm not sure…" Ria puzzled. Why would they need to speak to family?

Helen spoke cautiously, "We just wanted someone to be aware of Ms. Foster's status." There was a rustling of paper on the other end. "Do you know her emergency contact, a Mr. Lightman?"

"Yes, I know Dr. Lightman. In fact, we work together." Ria responded, curious.

"Good, we haven't been able to reach him. Would you mind telling him that Ms. Foster is being admitted. She should be in her room within the hour, if you'd like to come see her."

"Did something happen?" Ria asked.

"I'm sorry, that's all I know." Helen responded apologetically.

"Thanks." Obviously things had not gone as planned, she thought as she snapped her cell shut. Ria had a panicky feeling in the pit of her stomach. Think….she prompted herself. She went to find Loker. He was in the lab, as usual, watching videos of animals and making notations in a book. "Loker?" she said.

"Hmm?" Loker responded, not looking at her.

"Eli!" Ria hissed as she tugged at his sleeve. "I need your help."

Eli turned his head to see what Ria was going on about. At the look on her face, he said, "Whoa, what's got you so upset?"

"Eli, it's Dr. Foster…Gillian." Ria set about explaining what she knew so far, and ended by saying that Lightman was listed as her emergency contact and the hospital had been trying to reach him. "I've got to tell him, and you know he's going to freak out."

Loker blew out his cheeks in a sigh of resignation. He knew this was not going to be easy. "Happy Friday," Eli said to her. "Let's go."

They found Cal in his office, reviewing video files. Ria knocked and asked, "do you have a minute?"

"Busy!" was all Cal said as he studied the faces on the wall. His peripheral vision let him know that she had not left. "Important?" he asked.

"I think so," Ria responded, "it's about Dr. Foster."

The tone in her voice got Cal's attention. He looked up to see both Torres and Loker standing there, worried looks on the both of them. He pressed the pause button for the video and approached the two younger colleagues. Ria was wringing her fingers. "What about Dr. Foster?" he searched her face and moved closer. Ria looked down. "Just spit it out, then," he said, impatiently.

Ria took a deep breath. "She's in the hospital…" she began. "They've been trying to call you…"

"Oh, yeah?" Cal saw the challenge in Ria's eyes. "Didn't recognize the number," he said dismissively. He pointed a finger at her face. "You knew about this before…" he accused.

"She was only supposed to go for a day surgery, but now she's been admitted." she met Cal's gaze. "She had asked that I keep it confidential, but I don't think things went as expected."

Cal's mind was awhirl with a maelstrom of emotions as he instantly began to form plans. Something must have slipped out from beneath his mask, since Torres stepped back from him, her eyes wide. "Nah, that's okay, love. I'm not going to kill the messenger," he said and watched her relax visibly. "Tell you what: you kids stay here and close up shop at the end of the day. I'm headed over to the hospital…which one?" he directed at Ria.

"GWU," Ria offered. "Third floor." Cal's eyebrows rose imperceptibly before he controlled his expression. Ria could tell that bit of information surprised him.

Torres and Loker exchanged a look of relief, as if to say that wasn't so bad, and left his office. Cal set about shutting things down and locking up. He grabbed his jacket and headed out, brusquely letting Anna know he would not be back.

"Have a nice weekend!" she called after him, without response. Man on a mission, she shrugged as she watched his back retreat through the door.

Cal puzzled as he walked to his car. He was familiar with the third floor at GWU: Emily had been born there. Gill wasn't obviously pregnant, but who knew, given the way she had been acting recently. He wasn't aware that she was seeing anyone, so she must have had some kind of female issue going on. Then the guilt set in. Why hadn't he seen what was going on? Cal went over the last week in his mind. A hundred little would-be clues presented themselves. He got in his car, berating himself. Why hadn't he insisted she tell him what was wrong earlier in the week? Her insistence that she was fine was contrary to everything he had read on her. He cursed the bloody line Gill always placed between them. How could he be a supportive friend when she was always shutting him out? Determined to get to his best friend to find out, he took to the street and headed northwest. A thought occurred and he pressed the button on the steering wheel for the speakerphone. "Number" the device recited. "Emily," replied Cal.

LB LB LB LB

She smelled Cal before she knew he was really there; Gill caught the faintest whiff that he was wearing the Lagerfeld aftershave she had given him one year…when was that again? It was the type of present she never should have given him. She liked the smell of the cologne, but on Cal, it was dangerous. Something about the fragrance when mixed with his natural scent was almost irresistible to her. She breathed in slowly through her nostrils, and sighed in her reverie. It was so pleasant and yet this couldn't be real. He was being so quiet, so still…Gill thought she was dreaming. She was vaguely aware that he was holding her hand, brushing the hair away from her face, kissing her forehead. If this was a dream, she didn't want to wake up.

Cal said her name softly: "Gillian." As she reclined in the hospital bed, Gill had such a peaceful smile on her face. He hated to wake her, but it was clear that she was coming to anyway. He didn't want to startle her, so he made his presence known. "Gill," he said again.

Gill finally opened her eyes. It wasn't a dream. Cal stood beside her bed, his passive mask gone, his eyes soft as he smiled at her.

"What are you doing here?" Gill said, sleepily. "Where's Ria?"

"She and Loker are closing up shop. My guess is they'll be along directly," he said, remembering the worried looks on their faces.

Gill was confused. She didn't understand why he was there. "Cal, did you bully Ria into telling you where I was?"

Cal looked offended. "I, bully?" he feigned outrage. "To the contrary, she came to me with the information. When the hospital called and told her you were being admitted, they asked about your emergency contact. So, here I am."

Not fully understanding, Gill looked for the first time at her surroundings. She was no longer in the recovery suite, but in a private room. Cal saw her surprise, and informed her again, "They admitted you, love."

"Why?" was all Gill could think to ask, as her body automatically sought to escape and she tried to sit up. The pain in her abdomen instantly made her reject that notion. She grimaced and laid back down.

"Easy, there," he said, as he watched her press a small white button attached to a cord around the bedrail. The lines in her face eased as she settled back into the bed. He reached for her hand again. "I'm afraid I have less information than you do, darling." he said as his eyes scanned her form, noting the various and sundry tubes and devices. He sought her face once again. "All I know is that you were supposed to be home by now, and you're not."

Gillian considered the inquiring look on Cal's face and determined it to be genuine, satisfied that he really knew nothing. The advantage of not having told Ria anything was that she couldn't be intimidated into divulging Gill's private business. Still, she was surprised at how calm Cal appeared, knowing how he hated a mystery.

Cal was, in fact, struggling to remain calm. Obviously, Gill didn't want him to know what was going on with her, which was tearing him up inside. He wanted to be supportive, and if that meant just listening or even leaving if she asked, then he realized he would have to respect that. But, god, all he wanted to do was to scoop Gill up and hold her to him, as if that would protect her from whatever hurt she was going through.

They both turned their heads as the door to the room opened. A small, older Indian woman in a white lab coat with a touchscreen device in her hand entered and closed the door. She surveyed the two of them and greeted, "Gillian, how are you feeling?"

Gill revealed the first thing that came to mind, "I'm tired, even though all I seem to be able to do is sleep."

"The anesthesia will wear off. You'll be much more alert tomorrow," the Indian woman said. She turned to Cal and offered her hand. "I'm Dr. Prasad, Gillian's physician."

Cal grasped her hand and shook it. "Cal Lightman, friend and business partner," he said and decided to clarify, adding, "…and emergency contact." He cocked his head and read the doctor's face. A feeling of dread overcame him. She had not come bearing good news. Cal decided better of pointing this out, and moved to the opposite side of the room as he watched the doctor replace him at the rail of Gill's bed.

"If it's okay, I'd like to go over the surgery and postop instructions with you," Prasad began. "Gill, since you are recovering from anesthesia, it would be best if you had another set of ears. Is it okay if Mr. Lightman stays, or would you prefer another person?"

Gill looked from the doctor to Cal and back again. "What do you mean, another set of ears?" she asked simply.

Prasad looked at Cal with a hint of sadness. Cal could tell this was a part of her job she did not enjoy. He didn't even know what she was going to say and he had to fight the urge to pace to rid himself of a growing sense of anxiety. "I have a lot to discuss with you," Prasad said, choosing her words carefully, "and instructions for your recovery. I want to make sure that you hear and understand what I am telling you. Because you are recovering from anesthesia, having another person hear the same instructions will help assure that they are followed and your recovery will go well."

Gill considered. Who else would that be, she wondered. Cal was her friend, and as annoying as he could be, he was also the closest thing she had to family in this part of the country. While these particular medical issues were something she felt embarrassed about sharing with him, she could think of no one else who she would designate as medical proxy. "Okay," she said to Prasad finally. "He can stay." Gill looked at Cal, silently warning him to behave, mostly out of habit. She had to admit now, she was glad he was here.

Cal breathed a sigh of relief. He moved closer to the bed and took up Gill's hand once more.

"As you know," Prasad began, "we had planned a laparoscopic wedge resection, but we found a more extensive myometrial fibroid than could be seen on ultrasound. The tumor had not only grown within the muscle tissue of the uterus, but outside the confines of the organ capsule as well, all of which explains the magnitude of the pain you were experiencing. We had to convert to an open procedure so we could get at all of the tumor and explore your abdomen further. The good news is, the mass was benign; a fibroid as we suspected. And of the tissue samples we took from your pelvis and abdomen, we found nothing of concern."

Cal was taken aback at the magnitude of the medical issue Gill had been hiding. Some of the terms were unfamiliar to him, but he caught the gist of what the doctor was saying. A tumor, and a painful one at that, he thought as he looked at Gill for her reaction. Gill stared at the doctor, eyebrows knit together, yet she said nothing. He could only imagine what was going through her mind as she tried to take it all in, while recovering from the anesthesia and under the influence of pain meds. His mind raged against whatever bad luck had determined that this happen to Gill.

Cal switched his gaze to Prasad, who appeared to also be gauging how Gill was absorbing the information. He knew there was more, and grew impatient. "Drop the other shoe then," Cal prompted the doctor, and instantly regretted it. At the surprised look on Prasad's face, he said simply, "Sorry."

His comment seemed to wake Gill out of whatever trance she was in. She looked at Cal and with an annoyed expression, said, "Shut up, Cal. You're supposed to be helping me listen."

Prasad continued, "As is usual with any tumor, we did an intraoperative biopsy. Unfortunately, we found some suspiciously abnormal cells in the lining of the uterus. Given that, plus the sheer size of the tumor, I'm afraid we found it prudent to do a total hysterectomy," the doctor paused.

Gill's eyes widened. One of her worst fears realized, she drew in a sharp breath and blanched. Cal saw the look on Gill's face go from intent to stricken. He knew what this meant to her, yet he was helpless to protect her from the news. Gill's hand constricted on his, yet she said nothing, and showed no other reaction, until he saw the pools form in her eyes.

Dr. Prasad watched as Gill's reaction unfolded. Uncertain if she should continue, she waited patiently. She watched as Gill's friend moved to soothe her. He pushed the siderail of the bed down and sat on the mattress next to her, placing his arm around her shoulder and holding her hand to his chest. As silent tears spilled from Gillian's eyes, he kissed the side of her head and whispered into her hair. It was clear to Dr. Prasad that this man cared a great deal for Gillian, which would be helpful in her road to recovery. She would need all the support she could get. She cleared her throat. "Do you wish for me to come back?" she asked.

Cal had momentarily forgotten about the doctor, so intent was he on Gillian. It was as if she had folded in on herself and appeared to be in shock. He wasn't even sure she was listening anymore. "She might need a minute," he said, uncertainly. "Gill? Are you with us, love?"

Gill took her hand from Cal's and grabbed the sheet to wipe her face. She sniffed and swallowed, then began to cough, but struggled to stifle it as pain from her abdomen jolted her. Prasad grabbed a spare pillow from a chair and placed it on Gill's stomach. Splinting her incision by pressing down, the doctor said, "go ahead and cough, Gill." Gillian let the spasm go and coughed several times, but it was clear the action caused her a great deal of pain. The pain must have been like a slap in the face to make her wake up, and Gill began to cry in earnest now, sobbing and drawing up her legs as she grasped at the pillow for support. The doctor reached for the white button and pressed.

Cal removed himself from the bed and looked at Prasad helplessly, silently asking for direction. He wanted anything that would help ease Gill's pain, physically and emotionally. He couldn't stand to see her this way. "It may be too soon," he said. "She pushed the button right before you came in."

The doctor nodded her head imperceptibly at Cal and consulted the medical chart in her hand. She scrolled through the record, pressed the nursing call bell and stuck her head out the door of the room without fully leaving. Cal heard her giving instructions and caught the word 'diazepam'. He thought this was a very good idea.

Prasad came back into the room with a syringe in her hand and a flat white square. She tore open the square and the scent of alcohol permeated the room. The doctor swabbed a port on the intravenous and injected the contents of the syringe into the tubing. "I'm giving her something to calm her down," she said, capping the needle and placing the syringe in her pocket. "I don't want her to tear her stitches with the crying and coughing," the doctor said as she watched Gill relax and drowse.

"Thank you," Cal said, relieved. He searched the doctor's face. She looked at Cal and he realized that she had more to tell them. He looked down at Gill and back to the doctor. "There's more, isn't there?" he asked. Cal saw Dr. Prasad take a deep breath and set her jaw. He quickly reviewed in his mind what he had already heard and realized he should revisit one statement he had found puzzling. "Just what did you mean by suspiciously abnormal cells? Cal asked.

"I sent the tissue we removed to pathology straight away," Prasad said, "and the preliminary report confirmed that there were some abnormal, cancer-like cells in Gill's uterus, but we couldn't identify a distinct mass. Therefore, I have ordered an extensive pathological survey of the uterus."

"So, what you're saying is," Cal swallowed, "Gill has cancer."

Prasad eyed Cal, trying to gauge what to say to make him understand. "I have to emphasize that this finding was incidental to the benign fibroid tumor. Without a separate distinct mass, one cannot assume this is cancer, but we must look at all the possibilities. We will know in a day or so what the findings are and we can go from there." she paused. "It could be that we identified something that was trying to develop, and just hadn't yet."

Cal thought he understood, but patience was not his strong suit. "You'll let us know as soon as you can, yeah?"

Prasad nodded. "Of course."

Cal looked down at Gill. "No point in upsetting her any more." he said as he smoothed a strand of hair away from her cheek. He looked at Prasad. "I'm not going to tell her any of this until you know for sure."

The doctor nodded her assent. Gillian was a lucky woman to have such an advocate, she thought, as she prepared to leave.

"How long will she be in hospital?" Cal asked.

"Major abdominal surgery like this is about three or four days," Prasad informed him. "Gill has some work to do before she can be discharged. She will be working with physical therapy and a case manager in the meantime." the doctor said as she made a note in the chart. "Will I see you over the weekend?" she asked.

"I'm not going anywhere," Cal assured her.

"Good, I'll see you tomorrow. Perhaps then we will get a chance to discuss her recovery." Prasad turned to go.

As she opened the door, Cal spied Emily standing in the hallway with a vase of flowers tied with a cheery balloon. He waved her in and she stepped into the room, being mindful not to knock things with the balloon. "Hi, Dad," Emily said, looking down at Gill. "I got your message and came right after school. What happened?" Cal opened his arms to her and she stepped into them. From the worry on his face, she sensed he needed a hug, and squeezed him firmly. "You okay?" she asked.

Cal ran his hand over his face. What to reveal to his daughter? he pondered. "Yeah, I'm fine." he said. He looked at Em's face and saw the question in her eyes. "Gill's just had some day surgery with some unexpected results," he said. "I didn't even know about it until after they admitted her."

Emily's expression now mirrored her father's. She knew he wasn't telling her everything. "Is Gill okay?"

"Yeah, I think so, she's just knackered from all the drugs." Cal deflected, trying to sound casual.

"Really?" Em said, doubtfully.

Cal decided he shouldn't say any more. He grasped Emily's chin. "Enough questions," he said. "Gill will tell you what she wants you to know when she wakes up. Confidentiality, and all that."

Emily glanced at Gill's sleeping form. "It doesn't look like that will be anytime soon," she guessed, then looked at her father. She knew that look in his eye. "And you're going to be camping out here, aren't you?"

"Listen, Em," he said emphatically. "If it were you, would you expect anything else?"

Emily nodded. "Dad, you know she's in good hands, don't you?"

"I'm sure she is," he agreed. "I just want to make sure she has a friendly face and a hand to hold when she's awake, whenever that might be."

A large array of flowers appeared in the doorway, and the volunteer set them on the windowsill. The card said they were from the office, Cal read and thought, Torres and Loker must have arranged for them. Cal opened his phone and called Torres. When she answered, Cal asked, "All quiet on the work front?"

"Yeah," Ria replied. "How's Dr. Foster?"

"Out like a light." Cal responded. "You might want to hold off coming to see her until tomorrow."

"She okay?" Torres asked, concerned. "How long will she be there?"

"A few days," Cal said. "But she's in good hands," he reassured, taking a page from Emily's book. He let her know the flowers had arrived before completing the call and then put his phone on vibrate so as not to wake Gill if it rang. He turned back to his daughter. "When you come back, will you bring me an overnight bag?"

Seeing that he was firm in his resolve, Emily agreed. She knew better than to argue with her father when he was like this. Besides, she couldn't blame him. She was concerned about Gill, too; having him there made her feel better and she knew that Gill would feel the same. She hung around a little longer; and since Gill was not waking up, she went home to her mother's house. She would go to her dad's in the morning before returning to the hospital.

LB LB LB LB

Nurses and other hospital staff came and went as Gill slept. Finally, someone brought a dinner tray and set it on the overbed table. Cal surveyed the meal, and found that it was all liquids. He picked up the menu card, which said "Clears" on it. He supposed he should try to get some nourishment into Gill.

"Gill," he called softly, and stroked her cheek.

Gill stirred and opened her eyes a slit. She recognized Cal and her eyes went to the window. "What time is it?" she asked, disoriented.

"It's suppertime." Cal said, pulling the tray table closer to her and watching her closely. He wasn't sure how much she would remember from earlier. "Hungry?" he asked.

Gill blinked and forced her eyes to open more. "Yes, actually," she said and looked at the tray. She wrinkled her nose, then spied the red Jello. She brought her hands up to grasp it and noticed the IV in her right hand. She looked around the room then and noticed the flowers. Things were coming back to her, and her eyes unfocused for a minute as she remembered Prasad's visit. "Cal?" she said.

"Yes, love?" he responded, waiting.

"Thank you for being here." Gill said, shyly, and looked down at the sheet. She seemed embarrassed.

"Love, I want to be here," he reassured her. "I just wish you had told me sooner." Cal ducked his head to try to catch her eye. "Why didn't you, Gill?" he asked, trying not to sound accusing.

"It was private, Cal." Gill said, still looking down.

"I thought we were friends, and friends support each other," Cal retorted, "no matter what. I tried to get you to talk about it earlier in the week, but you were so closed off to me."

Gill looked up into his eyes and seemed irritated. "Let's face it Cal. This is not something you tell a male friend. I didn't think we had that type of relationship."

"Yeah, I can understand that," he said and then reconsidered. "Still, it's not like I haven't been married; I've seen childbirth and I am familiar with the anatomy and function of female bits. It's nothing to be embarrassed about," he concluded.

Gill gave him a look. "Maybe not for you." she responded, sadly.

"Well, I wouldn't have been," he tried again, but realized that it was a moot point. What mattered now was that he was here to help in any way he could, and he needed Gill to accept that. "Gill, you know I care about you," he began again. "You and Emily are the most important people in my life. If anything hurts you, it hurts me." He paused, and sought her eyes. "Don't shut me out anymore, Gill," he said as he reached for her hand. "Let me help you through this, now."

Gill's eyes filled with tears and she blinked them away, as she nodded her head. "Okay," she acquiesced. There was an awkward pause as she considered the last week. "Cal, I'm sorry," she swallowed.

"Don't be, love," he moved to hold her as best he could around the tubes. He stroked her hair, and kissed her temple, trying to soothe her; and Gill welcomed his comfort at last.

[You're right, Sash Queen, Gillian doesn't deserve this; but no one ever does – it just happens. It's our character that determines how we deal with it. If anyone is still out there, let me know what you think. Thanks!]