In which my amazing beta nolinkedlists taught me that in the US you don't use firecrackers on New Year's Eve.
Chapter 03
I feel the familiar tingle in my palms and the transport begins. It's way too soon for the others. None of them is prepared for the battle.
My stomach flips with excitement as I realize I'm being sent in first. My eyes are wide now and my mind's awake. I watch my feet disappear. I'm cool and calm and satisfied now that my strategy is clear. I've been given a great opportunity.
I swipe the hood off my head and let my dark weave fall around my face as I stand up and shoot a last grin at Gantz. It's one of my acts; not to impress the black ball, of course. It's just for show. In the realms of Gantz I'm the HBIC. I'm dangerous. This last gesture of mine is a reminder not to come to close to me.
It usually keeps other people off my back.
The last thing I see is Rachel grabbing her suit and the two leather jackets each picking up a gun.
When I materialize nobody else is there yet. Quickly I press the cap on the right side of my neck to switch to camouflage mode, which effectively means I'm invisible to the naked eye.
I scan my surroundings and step back to stand against a wall. It's dark and I'm still in Lima, the place I currently call home, which is unusual. Normally I'm sent to somewhere far away across the globe - I've already fought on the Golden Gate Bridge, in a temple in Tokyo in the Amazonian jungle, France, as well as the Australian outback - so I've got to admit that I'm slightly disappointed that my latest trip won't contain any sight- seeing.
It's actually not far from where I live and I'm suddenly extremely glad the battle arena is being secured for the duration of the fight. No one from the real world will be able to see what's going on. I tried asking Nishi once how it works, but he just huffed and rolled his eyes at me. I'm fairly certain he didn't know anything.
All I know is this: Besides us and our fiend there won't be anyone around. No one will recognize me tomorrow. Some people might be wondering what happened to the Hummels' garage and why the cars in this street are all demolished, but no one will be pointing fingers. I just hope that my apartment is outside the boundaries. I really can't afford new windows.
As I stand back and wait I see Rachel materialize right next to me. She's apparently gotten rid of her shoes, because I see white socks first, then two legs and – hold up – she's almost naked. Finally she stands there in her black panties and a plain white t-shirt and I stare just long enough to make out a pair of well defined calves, slim thighs and, yea, ok, I admit it, perky breasts. She's actually kind of cute and I almost blush.
There's no time for such thoughts, though, and as I turn my head to regain my focus I can't help but think that this was quite a clever move by her: she avoided exposing herself in front of her enemies and at the same time saved a lot of time by kicking off her clothes shortly before the transport.
When I turn back around she's fully clothed again. The uniform fits her perfectly and emphasizes all the right places. But I also notice that I've got to take a part of my mental compliment back, because apparently the tiny dork forgot to bring a weapon. Instead she stands there with her t-shirt in one hand, obviously contemplating where to put it. I almost want to switch back to visible, grab the damn thing and toss it in one corner, but right before I can finish that thought the two leather jackets appear a few meters away and Rachel jumps behind a nearby car that's parked on a sidewalk, stuffing the piece of clothing beneath it.
"Where is she?" one of the guys yells.
No, you moron, the real question is: Where is it? Why are they so obsessed with this girl when there's an enemy to kill?
"Screw that", the other guy basically comments on my track of thought and presses his damaged hand to his chest, "We can find the boss another virgin anytime."
My eyes go wide at that last statement and as Rachel presses her hands over her mouth to suppress a sob I realize that these douche bags are members of a prostitution ring. Now I really have to make sure they don't make it out alive. The chances that they would find me in the real world are small, but big enough to give me a reason to move apartments again if I need to. I can't have those kinds of guys on my back.
"Where's this boy we're supposed to kill?"
Now we're talking. Rachel is still hiding behind the car. She'll probably be safe there for a while and considering her other options, she chose her position pretty well. Once she discovers the abilities of her suit she'll be able to run, too; probably not fast enough to escape the enemy, but definitely fast enough to get away from the Jackets. Who knows, maybe she'll actually make it through her first mission.
I hear quick steps approach and blondie runs right into my line of vision. At first I don't see what he's running from, but as soon as the onion boy becomes visible I understand. My fingers play with the grip of my gun. I know I've got to wait a little longer, though. In most battles I get exactly one shot and I'm not planning on wasting it by missing my target just because I got distracted by some asshole. I can't do anything as long as the guys are around. It's a true test of my patience and I don't have an awful lot of that.
The onion boy looks just as ridiculous as his picture. He's about half my size and on any other night I'd laugh at him for wearing such a lame Halloween costume. His head is disproportionally huge and his shirt looks like he's trying to copy Freddy Krueger. With calm tiny steps he walks towards the blonde guy just as he stumbles. Wow, pathetic.
And then things take a weird turn: The boy reaches his little hands out and exclaims proudly: "Onions are enough for me." I blink a few times and my mouth falls open. This has to be the weirdest mission I've ever been sent on. When Gantz made me kill a bunch of religious statues I was slightly confused. When I had to hunt down a couple of commercial mascots it was quite irritating. But this tops them all. You might think that after all I've seen, nothing would surprise me, but you'd be wrong! Because here I am standing with my guard up next to a shivering girl (who is also my only potential teammate,) and the evil I've been sent to fight is a little green boy who just asked a threesome of strangers to give him some onions.
What the actual fuck?
The Jackets exchange confused looks but it only lasts a second. Without further hesitation they draw their weapons. I start to scream "no", because they're about to shoot my target. As it turns out, though, I don't have to do that as blondie jumps in the way.
"No!" he screams instead of me. "Aren't you curious about what's going on here? I mean, not long ago I got run over by a car and now I'm here and I'm just fine. Did nothing happen to you?" At this point he's stretched out his arms to protect the onion boy who stands there and watches the scenario, just like me and Rachel. "Onions are enough for me." he repeats. The Jackets stare at blondie with what I can only call utter surprise and I'm pretty sure I've got the same expression on my face. I've got to give to him - blondie is ballsy… the stupid kind. I'm surprised he's still alive.
"I'm not shooting at some innocent boy, just because I've been told to do so by a big black ball. I don't know where you guys come from, but that's not what an Evans does."
After a long moment, the inevitable happens; Evans is pushed aside and the Jackets fire simultaneously at the onion boy. To their surprise – not to mine – nothing happens. They examine their guns while blondie stares from his spot on the ground a meter away. What they don't know is this: The weapons we've been provided with aren't regular weapons.
The X-Guns, as I call them, are about the same size as a semi-automatic pistol, but the barrel has four extendable protrusions that spread out like an 'X' when the weapon is fired, hence the name. Also, the muzzle reminds me a little of a camera lens.
Looks aren't the only the thing that makes these guns special, though. On the rear of each weapon is a little screen that helps you aim, but especially comes in handy once you find out there're actually two triggers you can squeeze separately. The top trigger will lock the target; that's what the screen is really for. Once a target is locked, you can use both triggers to fire the gun in any direction and still hit your enemy. I had some fun shocking team members by pretending to aim at them and firing my gun when in reality I had already locked on to something entirely different. The upper trigger also has an X-ray function which is how I found out we weren't fighting humans. I'm not a doctor like my dad, but I'm fairly certain human skeletons don't look like… that.
What the Jackets are currently experiencing is a function I don't quite understand the use of: The five second delay.
So as they stare alternately at their gun and the onion boy I count to five and – BOOM. His arms and legs explode like firecrackers on the Fourth of July. It's pretty gross, to be honest. There're pieces of flesh everywhere and the boy's torso falls with a splash into a puddle of blood. The Jackets and Evans are drowned in disgusting liquids and if I wasn't used to it the smell of it all would be overwhelming. I hear a whimper which reminds of Rachel's presence. She's shut her eyes and cries silently. Well, at least she's smart enough to stay put.
Then I hear something entirely different:
"You…can... you can have…my onions."
God bless these aliens.
There were many occasions when I cursed how hard they were to kill. This is not one these moments, though. The onion boy is still alive, which means one thing: I still have my shot.
Before I can plan my next move, though, the Jackets aim again. And then something incredible happens: Evans decides to pull another heroic move and jumps in the way at the very last second. It's too late, though, and the guy with the broken fingers pulls both triggers with his good hand. I gasp and count again:
One
Evans shakes his head. He's scared.
Two
Where were you when they threatened Rachel?
Three
He keeps pressing his hands to his chest, examining his body. You have exactly two seconds left, blondie.
Four
He gulps and says: "I…"
Five
Out of reflex I turn my head and only hear his torso being ripped to pieces as his remnants hit the ground. Rachel is shaking violently now. It's her first fight, well, mission, and I can hardly blame her, but roll my eyes nonetheless. I've got my principles after all.
Then I hear another shot and when I look up my fear has been realized: The onion boy is dead and I've lost my points. Unbelievable. It was such an easy prey and I let it slip through my fingers! I groan before I can help myself, and Rachel looks into my direction and furrows her eyebrows. When exactly did I become so stupid?
Thankfully, though, Evans' death seems to have been traumatizing enough for her to ignore me for now. She peeks up from behind her shelter just in time to witness what happens next: Jacket one has broken one of Gantz' rules. He looks up and asks: "What's that noise?" But he never receives an answer.
