Title: Legacy of the Xel'naga 4: Brief Respite
Author: Confushi Sushi
Email: confushi_
Rating: PG13 (some swearing)
Spoilers: 202 ITLOD, probably others I might have missed
Category: Angst (a lot, according to some people)
Pairing(s): none in this part
Season: Looking like sometime late 3rd, maybe 4th
Summary: Everyone waits on base for the translations to be completed, but, as always, someone has other ideas.
Disclaimer: Not mine⦠No $. I'm just borrowing for a bit but I'll give 'em right back, I swear.
A/N: Ok, if all goes as planned, there should be 10 parts in all, including a prologue and epilogue, because I love epilogues and this story begs for a pro. Like I said before, I'm only using the Xel'naga name because it's cool, so don't hurt me. Still love Blizzard ;-) Would LOVE to hear what you think about this piece, even if it's just a line saying you liked it or hated it. PLEASE!!!! Huge thanx and lots of love to Kalliope for the beta, without her this would surely be a piece of dren. Los mistakes son mine!
*
The infirmary was nice and all, but there was only so much of it he could take. Jack had seen his fair share of hospital beds. He was to the point where he'd rather not be there if he could help it. At the moment, though, the doc wasn't seeing things his way.
He didn't really get why Carter, who was not confined to the infirmary, chose to be there.
Jack sat on the edge of his bed, facing Daniel's. The archaeologist was propped up on one arm, unable to sleep due to Jack's restlessness. Carter sat at the foot of Daniel's bed, and Jack wouldn't have been surprised if she passed out at any moment. Her eyes were red and she held herself up only just.
"I feel fine. There isn't any reason I couldn't do this in my quarters." Jack blurted the protest, as he had for over an hour.
Daniel rolled his eyes. "After all that happened on the planet, Janet just wants to make sure we're all ok."
Alahn giggled, covering her face. Jack's confusion only grew as he saw Daniel's cheeks redden. He gave them a clearly perplexed look, but no explanations were forthcoming.
"Well, I'm ok." Jack reiterated. He decided that since he didn't understand what had just happened before him, he would ignore it.
Bowing her head, Carter spoke. "Well, sir, the whole point is Doctor Fraiser wants you to get some rest. And she knows that won't happen if you aren't here."
Jack looked around the room as if searching for something. Apparently satisfied, he leaned in conspiratorially. "My secret's out?"
"Doesn't it have to be a secret in the first place to get out?" Daniel teased as he sat up.
Jack gave his patented hurt look.
"Daniel has a point, sir."
"You mean no one was ever...?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows.
They both shook their heads negatively.
Tired as he may have been, Jack still wasn't ready to give up. He just wanted to be somewhere else. Too many unpleasant memories in this setting.
More time must have passed than he realized as he pondered. When he finally was cognizant of his surroundings, he saw Carter leaning on Daniel's shoulder, clearly asleep. It was almost all he could do not to shout 'it's about time!'
"Tired?" Jack asked sarcastically, nodding towards her.
"Well, she did run from those jaffa, and then back again." Daniel's voice was subdued, though Jack doubted she'd wake up even if the klaxons started blaring.
He just nodded in response, knowing she had more than enough justification.
Jack couldn't help but take a moment to assess her condition. The burn marks from the ribbon device were already well on their way to recovery, tangible proof that Carter was doing her little healing thing. He knew the healing process took a lot out of her, yet another explanation for her current unconsciousness. But she could rest whenever she needed to, so Jack was sure it wouldn't be long before even her broken arm was fixed.
Thinking about her being able to heal with a thought was weird, to say the least. Jack was pretty certain he'd be jealous, if the other payoffs weren't what they were. He definitely did NOT want to be a snake, have a snake in him, or any crazy combination someone could think up. No siree, Bob. Wasn't high at all on his wish list.
What the hell would he do if their positions were switched? That was almost too much for Jack to consider. He doubted he could even accept that it had happened. Everyone knew that he and snakes of any kind, except for Jacob, just didn't get along. And how would he ever cope with being inside of someone, his best friend even? At least Carter had had some idea how things worked before getting into it.
He was sure he wouldn't have been able to go nearly this long without blowing up.
Looking at her slack jaw and peaceful expression, Jack had to wonder just how at peace Carter and Alahn were. On the planet they both had seemed to be doing well. Now, though, their lives weren't in immediate danger, and they had all the time in the world to think. And thinking was something Carter did very well. As resilient as his 2IC may be, just how much could be flung at her before she couldn't take any more?
"Is she ok?" Jack asked Daniel. If anyone were to truly know, then he'd be the one. Carter had shared his head for a little while.
"I couldn't be sure, but I think that it's hurt both of them more than they're willing to let on. When Terak made Sam leave me and take Alahn, she was devastated." Daniel confided.
Jack could only imagine. Carter knew what it was like to be taken as a host, albeit to a Tok'ra... a very misguided one, at that. Even if her whole experience with Jolinar was only half as bad as she made it out to be, he knew she'd never want to put anyone else through it.
"Yeah." He agreed. "She can be stubborn like that."
"I'm worried."
Jack so didn't need to hear that. He knew that Daniel was worried, but to have him go out and say it... he had enough on his mind as it was. He was worried himself. "So am I, what's new?"
"Jack... she's a good actress."
Still nothing new to him.
Daniel clarified. "Very good."
He really didn't like where this conversation was going.
"So what was all that about just a few minutes ago?" Jack suddenly asked, seeing how Daniel was currently unable to escape questioning.
"What was all what about?" Daniel returned, honestly unsure what he meant.
"You know, Alahn started giggling over something you said." Unfortunately, Jack couldn't remember exactly what he had said. Something about them being ok, wasn't it?
"I don't know." The other man returned, obviously flustered.
"What do you mean 'you don't know?' You blushed!" he tried to back Daniel into a corner.
"No I didn't." Daniel assured.
"Yes you did."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Not."
"Too."
"Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Jackson." Janet's firm voice suddenly issued from the door.
Both men looked like their hands had been caught in the proverbial cookie jar.
Carter, or Alahn, shifted slightly and was obviously waking up. Blinking groggily, she looked from person to person.
"I believe you were going to give me a good reason why you're causing such a commotion in my infirmary." Janet prompted after several moments of silence.
"Well, you see, Daniel's just being such a baby." Jack began in mock seriousness.
"Excuse me?" Daniel responded, eyes wide with disbelief.
The Doctor cleared her throat, stopping the argument from beginning anew.
"Janet, how's Lieutenant Bradly?" Carter asked, bringing a serious air back to the room.
They all looked to the Doctor expectantly.
Janet sighed before speaking. "He's still alive, which is something in and of itself. Doctor Warner has just completed exploratory surgery. At the moment all we can really do is wait and see. It's up to him right now."
Jack felt sorry for the kid. Even if he did survive, his life would be ultimately changed. Almost had to laugh at the absurdity of it all. They were in a base, in a mountain, in the middle of the country, and still people found drastic and bizarre ways to get hurt. The folks around must have thought that mighty strange. He found himself morbidly curious as to what the cover story would be for the burns he had received.
Carter looked at the floor, what exactly was going through her head, Jack couldn't say.
*
Teal'c walked down the halls of the SGC, towards Daniel Jackson's office. He had completed several hours of kel'no'reem, effectively healing most of his injuries. What remained was little more than cuts and bruises. Even the bone in his hand was mostly knitted together.
After being discharged from the infirmary, Daniel Jackson had gone directly to his office to begin working on translating the stones. Doctor Fraiser had stated that he should 'take it easy' for a few days. Teal'c knew that, unless interrupted, Daniel Jackson would be getting no rest anytime soon.
Just like he had thought, as soon as he opened the door, he saw Daniel studying the video he had made, taking notes in one of his journals. Continuing his ministrations, he was completely oblivious to Teal'c's presence.
Teal'c figured he had been at it for quite a while already.
"Daniel Jackson." Teal'c announced his existence.
"Hey, Teal'c." He replied, not even stopping what he was doing.
Taking a few more steps into the room, he knew he would have to be more direct. "I came to ask if you would like to join me in the commissary."
"I'm fine, thanks." Daniel replied, scribbling something onto the page before him.
"You will do no one any good if you work yourself to exhaustion."
He finally got Daniel's attention. "Excuse me?"
"Daniel Jackson, you have only just been cleared from the infirmary. It is not wise to exert yourself too much, too quickly."
"Too much?" Daniel parroted incredulously. "We could be so close to the answer." At that, Daniel put down his journal and stood up. He scrubbed his face with his hands, belying his current fatigue.
"It is a possibility. But be that as it may, Major Carter would feel responsible were you to bring yourself to any harm on her behalf."
"I know," he agreed, "I know. I just can't stand not doing anything when there's a way I can contribute. We've gone through enough already. SHE'S gone through enough. I just want to fix this before anything else can go wrong."
"You do not have to do this on your own. The Tok'ra have offered their assistance in this endeavor." Teal'c reminded him.
"Yeah, I've had a copy of the tape made and sent to them. Garshaw said that most of their operatives were busy, but they have one or two working on it."
Teal'c lifted his eyebrow. "Then little would be lost if you were to spend a few minutes away from your work."
Of course, Teal'c knew how much Daniel Jackson wanted to get the translations completed as quickly as possible, even at the sacrifice of self. But doing so would hurt Daniel Jackson far more than it would help Major Carter.
Rubbing his forehead, Daniel reached down and stopped the tape. "I guess you're right."
*
Alahn sat in the corner adjacent to the door. She really needed to be alone, but Sam's quarters were too small. Cramped. Truth be told, she really didn't want to be surrounded by anything that belonged to the person in her head. Sam had informed her that the briefing room tended to be very empty when there were no mission briefings scheduled and the General wasn't in his office. Walking along, she found that was where she ended up.
Even alone, she still felt crowded.
She had thought she was ok with things. But now, she just wasn't sure. Alahn didn't have anything from her own life to compare this to. How could anything a simple teenager would go through possibly match what was happening to her now? She wanted to figure it out for herself, so distanced herself from Sam who tried to give her the privacy she desired.
But she wasn't truly alone, and at the moment, that bothered her more than anything. No matter where she went, there would always be someone else. It unnerved her like she would never have imagined. She had always been a very social person, so she was quite amazed that it bothered her so much. It was the fact that, even if she wanted privacy, she couldn't get it.
**Daniel may be sitting on an answer to this. We could both be back to normal very soon.** Sam couldn't help but remind her.
//Or not.// They were both aware of the fact that everything could so easily be a dud.
In fact, Alahn had a hard time imagining they'd find whatever it was they needed. After all that had happened, how could the solution simply fall into their laps? And these people, even aliens that Sam assured her were very advanced, had no clue what to do. That didn't help her believe they would ever find an answer. She could feel Sam's reluctance, but even she had to agree with the conclusion.
So, that meant they'd be stuck like this forever.
Forever. Not just a lifetime. She could hardly fathom it, living several centuries. It was close enough to forever in her opinion. Alahn felt herself begin to panic. Living that long... she didn't want it. A human was pretty lucky to live to be 100. A blended human, even without the benefit of a sarcophagus could easily live to be twice that age, if not more. Alahn couldn't stand the thought of living that long. Not longer than anyone she could meet at that very moment. It wasn't right.
//I don't want it!// she pulled her knees up tight to her chest, wrapping both arms around them. The cast was awkward, but she ignored it.
It didn't really help that Sam didn't want it either. That fact only served to remind her that she was stuck with her.
And, as if that wasn't enough, Alahn was stuck on an alien planet. When all of this was over, no matter how exactly things turned out, she could never go back to her home. The SGC had already tried to send probes through to see the current situation on the planet. It was quickly learned that the 'gate had been put under heavy guard, and only a few moments of footage had been received before the MALP had been blown away. If she tried she would only return into Terak's clutches.
God, it was enough to make her want to cry. As there was no one around to see, she didn't hold back.
*
Jack sauntered his way into the gym. He knew quite well that Doc Fraiser would have a fit if she saw him there. Of course he also knew she was well aware that, unless there was a lake and fishing pole involved, that he and 'take it easy' didn't tend to mix. And right now, there really wasn't anything for him to do.
Hitting the punching bag, he began to work the stiffness out of his muscles. Aside from giving him something to do, Jack also found the act therapeutic. It was nice to imagine the bag was that damn snakehead from the planet. The way he figured, he had a lot to pay him back for.
When he eventually saw Teal'c enter, he wasn't the least bit surprised.
It didn't take long for the jaffa to see him there and make his way over. He didn't say a word to jack, only stood nearby and watched. Jack knew Teal'c was waiting for him to initiate things. He wondered just how long he could ignore his friend standing there.
Despite his best efforts, Jack only lasted a couple minutes before Teal'c's silent stare demanded his attention.
"What?" Jack asked as he turned to Teal'c.
"I do not believe Doctor Fraiser would approve of your current activities." Teal'c warned him, but Jack knew he wouldn't try to stop him, especially when he held the bag as Jack started again.
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her."
"It is not her health that is currently in question." He couldn't be entirely sure, but he thought that it was a joke. It was becoming increasingly harder to tell with Teal'c.
"She got you on payroll or something?" Jack was sure Teal'c was mother henning, and he probably wouldn't be the only one to receive the man's attention.
Instead of giving a verbal response, Teal'c simply raised his eyebrow.
"So, what brings you here exactly? Checking up on me?"
"Indeed."
Jack really hadn't been ready for the admission. "What for?"
"Recent events have been stressful for all. You, least of all, have sought others to share these burdens."
Jack sighed, having almost been able to forget the root of all these problems. "Shouldn't you talk to Carter about this stuff. I mean, she's the one who's been affected by all of this." He really didn't want to talk, and Teal'c certainly must've known this.
"It affects us all, if not directly." Teal'c rebuffed.
"Why are you asking me how I feel? You know already, don't you? I'm no scientist, or linguist, or anything. All I can do is sit around and hope that someone else can find a way to help her, because I sure as hell can't."
Teal'c nodded his head slowly, showing Jack that they were both equally frustrated with their inability to help in this current situation. It really sucked when you didn't know how to do anything that would be beneficial.
If only everything could be solved by kicking the shit out of something.
"You know, I could almost accept her being stuck inside of Daniel. Almost. But now... She's in a kid that NONE of us know. Why the hell does the whole universe have to get involved in this?" Jack didn't know what exactly had possessed him to admit these things, but he found his fist hitting the punching bag harder with each word.
"I am not fond of this, either."
Hah, he was so beyond not being FOND of things. Had been ever since this whole situation began.
Jack finally stopped his attack on the equipment. The variable this girl, Alahn, posed to them was what really had him on edge. If they didn't truly know how she felt about things, they couldn't begin to figure out exactly what was going through Carter's head. He didn't like not knowing what to expect from her.
"I bet she's getting pretty sick of this mountain by now." Jack threw the statement up from seemingly nowhere. Off-world missions notwithstanding, none of them had been away for weeks. And by the looks of things, it would be a while longer yet. But something about what he'd said made a light go off in Jack's head.
"O'Neill?" Teal'c replied to the mischievous smile playing on Jack's lips.
*
General Hammond mentally sighed as he walked down the halls. Normal runnings of the base always seemed exceedingly trivial when compared to more trying matters. It just didn't seem right to be sifting through equipment requisitions when the futures of some of his officers were in question.
But these small tasks were just as vital to the running of a base as anything. Nevertheless he was glad to be done with it so he could focus on other matters, even if he had nothing specific to do at the moment.
He made his way up the stairs to the briefing room, and ultimately, his office. The General paused on the last step, held up by a noise in the room beyond. It wasn't until he heard it again that he could be sure it was a sniffle.
He knew nothing was scheduled in the briefing room, and he had no appointments, so who would be in there?
His curiosity piqued, he stepped through the door and looked around the room. He saw Alahn sitting curled up in the corner. Hammond knew it was her by the sounds she made.
The General really wasn't sure how to deal with the situation before him. It was clear to him that she had come there to be alone, though why she'd come to the Briefing Room, of all places, was beyond him.
She still hadn't noticed his presence, but even so, he couldn't bring himself to simply sneak back out. "Alahn, Major Carter?"
Her body stiffened at the unexpected sound of his voice, and he watched as Carter took control.
"General, sir, I didn't see you there." She fumbled as she got to her feet.
"Obviously not." He replied gently.
"I'm sorry, sir. I'll just go now." He watched as she tried to surreptitiously wipe away the tears still staining her face.
"There's no need for that. Sit down." Hammond motioned her to a seat at the table. Carter sat near the center of the table, seeming to curl up into herself. Rather than take his traditional seat at the head of the table, he sat down beside her.
There was a long, awkward silence until he decided to start things.
He just wished he knew what to say. "I haven't really had the chance to talk with you since the beginning of this, see how you are doing."
"I'm fine, sir." She replied quickly, just like he was sure she would.
"Now, I will admit that you appear to be handling yourself admirably. Better than would be expected. But I can't believe that it's quite that simple, though. Even with what we have seen around here, this is far from a normal situation."
She shook her head slowly and appeared to be in deep thought. It was a look he'd seen on Jacob on more than one occasion when he didn't want to talk.
"If not as a general, I had hoped you could talk to me as a friend." He had known her since she was a child. They weren't strangers with each other. Quite the opposite.
He could still see her uneasiness, her head drooping until it almost touched the table, her arms in her lap. Not knowing what else to do, Hammond placed a warm hand on her shoulder.
Sam sighed. "I messed up, big time."
"Everyone's allowed a few of those." He assured her.
"Yeah, but not like this. I'm not the only one who gets burned out of the deal. Other people have to live with the consequences, too. What about Daniel? What about Alahn?"
Frustration poured out with her words, and he found his hand gripping her shoulder a little tighter. The General was so focused on the guilt and other emotions in her voice that he didn't even pay attention to the reverberating tone.
"I won't even pretend that I know what this is like for any of you."
"You have no idea." She all but snapped. Carter quickly realized her tone was stronger than it needed to be. "Sorry, sir."
"Sam, don't be." Sam looked up at the mention of her name, and he smiled softly. "Ignore the ranks, I want to talk to YOU."
"It's all just gone so horribly wrong."
"You didn't mean to hurt anyone. You can't blame yourself that things turned out the way they did. All you can do is try the best you can with what you have." He told her.
"But I am trying! I've been trying so hard it almost hurts. Still everything's gone from bad to worse." It pained him to see Sam so dejected.
"That all was beyond your control. Sam, we're all proud of you. Even if you were to up and break down this very instant, I'd still look at you with the same respect I always have. You've taken a very debasing situation and done what you could to get through it. No one could ask for anything more."
She lowered her head in what he at first thought was embarrassment. But as he continued to look at her, he thought he saw shame in her features.
"I meant every word I said. It doesn't matter what you may have done."
"Please, sir." Sam pleaded, tears beginning to form.
"What is it?" Why did his words seem to hurt her? Why couldn't she accept that, maybe, she had been doing ok?
"I..." she stopped whatever admission she was going to make. "Just don't, please."
Now Hammond had to wonder what the hell she could have said or done to make her so obviously feel like she didn't deserve the praise she... well, deserved. But he had tried, and couldn't think of anything else to say that would make a difference.
He gave her shoulder a quick, reassuring rub. "Don't be too hard on yourself." Getting up, he decided to leave Sam to herself for a little while.
As he reached the stairs, he turned around. "By the way, SG-7 has a briefing at 1800." He warned before exiting the room.
*
"Well, sir, whatcha say?"
"I don't know. As much as I might agree, there could be complications."
"Aw, come on. I'll take care of everything. Promise."
"I don't know..."
"We can't be expected to sit here and let the opportunity go to waste."
"Very well, then."
"Thanks, sir. You won't regret this."
"I had better not."
*
Daniel looked down at the notes that he had been working on. Viewing the videotape on mute, he could almost forget the danger they had been in when it was made. And when he couldn't forget, he'd just ignore it for the sake of the translation.
More so than the actual heat of the moment, what nagged at him the most when watching it was Sam. He could still hear her thoughts, frantic at the time. Looking down, he took in Alahn's sleeping form on the couch.
He wished he could hear her thoughts now.
Staring intently, Daniel tried to get an idea what Sam was thinking, or even Alahn, for that matter. He didn't have a clue, especially with her currently in the quiet repose of sleep. Despite everything, he couldn't help but smile softly at that thought. They had been doing a lot of sleeping lately. A side effect of the healing process, he was well aware.
This time, she had entered his office, and they'd exchanged pleasantries. Daniel had tried to tell her a little bit of what he had so far, but she quickly changed the subject. Not knowing what else to do, he continued his work and she had sat down on the couch and fallen asleep.
It puzzled Daniel why she wouldn't want to know what he had learned from the translations. He figured it would be foremost on her mind, and had expected more than a little exuberance from her on the subject. Both of them, really. They both wanted to get back to normal, so why they showed no interest in his work simply made no sense.
Shouldn't they want all the information they could get their hands on?
The situation was hurting her so much. Even if Daniel didn't know firsthand how bad the time in Terak's clutches had been for her, Sam's quietness lately was more than enough evidence. This whole situation was wearing at her, like waves washing up on a beach. Little by little the sand gets disturbed, pulled away, rearranged.
Daniel didn't want this to last long enough for the frame underneath to become exposed.
As he was about to return to his work, he saw her begin to stir.
"Welcome back." Daniel said cheerily, battling back his apprehensiveness.
She gave him a smile that looked at least partially forced, and Sam spoke. "Sorry for conking out on you."
"Don't worry about it."
Sam sat up on the couch. Daniel didn't really know why he said it, kind of offhanded and a bit nervously. "I miss you."
"What?" the look she gave him was very curious.
"It's weird, but I guess I just got used to your... company."
She didn't know how to reply, and it was painfully obvious. Sitting there, her cheeks actually flushed noticeably. Sam looked absently around the room. "Really?"
Daniel was always the one for smooth transitions. "I know you've both probably been asked this question a million and one times, but... how are you really doing?"
"We're fine, Daniel." Sam replied, her tone laced with indignation.
He didn't buy it for a second. Daniel knew better. "This is me, Sam. I know, remember?"
Sam stood up abruptly, pacing around the small room. Daniel began to worry that he had gone too far. Eventually she came to stand on the other side of his desk, resting her arms on it.
"Why can't anyone seem to believe that we're ok? We can handle this."
Looking straight into his eyes, she didn't even blink. "We... are... fine." Alahn stated slowly.
They were stressed, that much was obvious. He was just coming to realize how thin the ice he was walking on was. "Everyone's just worried, you know? You don't have to do this alone."
At that Alahn smiled slightly, tilting her head briefly. "Alone? That just isn't possible, now is it?"
Sam could be extremely difficult, as he already knew, but this was just overwhelming. She didn't want to listen, neither of them did. Heaven forbid they actually acknowledge what had happened. Both of them went well out of their way to not talk about it, except in the most general of terms. The second you asked their thoughts and feelings on the subject, it was not unlike running into a very unyielding stone wall.
"You know what I mean." He admonished.
"Yes, we do. But it's not necessary. Sure, it's... different, but we're handling things."
Oddly enough, Alahn's assurances did little to quell his doubts, if anything it made them worse. Denial, it just had to be. He couldn't believe that everything was just fine. They wouldn't have it, though. Wouldn't let him help. Wouldn't even let him listen.
He just didn't know what to do.
*
"And that's it."
"Great. I can't wait."
"Yeah, it's been a while. Who knows when we'll get another chance."
"It has. So, when are we gonna do this?"
"Soon, believe you me."
*
Jacob found himself entering the lab. Yet again, to the poor translator's chagrin. He couldn't really be blamed, now could he? It was his daughter in trouble, after all.
He could see frustration in the other Tok'ra's eyes.
//Good to see I haven't lost my touch.//
**Jacob, leave the poor boy alone. Ra'ental doesn't need you looking over his shoulder.**
"Jacob." Ra'ental, Gorin's symbiote, greeted reservedly.
"Ra'ental."
"Nothing of consequence has been discovered since your last visit." The younger Tok'ra informed him.
"Nothing of consequence." Jacob repeated to himself.
"As I have informed you on the eight prior occasions this morning that you have come here, these spheres each contain large portions of text. Simply copying down the text will take time, not to mention bringing it together into cohesive pieces. Also, Doctor Jackson requested that we do what we could to translate the alien language that runs parallel to our own."
**You are aware that your presence only slows his progress.** Selmak warned.
He did understand that quite well. But Jacob was an action man, former general. Commander by nature. It wasn't the easiest for him not to be in control of a situation. Besides, they didn't exactly have anything else to do.
"Alright... well, good job. Keep it up." Jacob praised awkwardly as he walked out the doorway. He swore he could hear a sigh of relief follow him out of the room.
With that pastime no longer available, he started walking down the hallway with no particular destination in mind. He was trying to think, but having a hard time figuring out where to start from.
**The beginning tends to be the best place.** Selmak informed him cheekily, but with sympathy.
//Thanks.// he responded to her unhelpful advice.
His daughter, his flesh and blood, had gone through something that, until then, had been virtually unimaginable. A human turning into a symbiote, it just didn't happen. Humans become hosts, not take them. But, that was what had happened, in simplest terms.
**She is not currently human.** Selmak pointed out.
//How can it be that simple? She's been human her entire life, but now she's not? Mentally, she's the same as ever, but physically is another matter.// Jacob stopped for a moment when he realized he had lost his point, if he had had one to begin with.
**I said that she was not human, but she is still Samantha Carter.** he could feel Selmak's own uneasiness about what was going on. Just as he was thrown for a loop, Selmak also had never encountered anything remotely similar in all of her years.
Aside from whoever built the device that changed Sam, he doubted anyone had.
That thought did nothing to comfort his already reeling mind. From what he had witnessed, she was adjusting rather well to her situation. Not that he would expect anything different from her.
**She is strong, like her father.**
//And just as stubborn.// Jacob added. Even if she did have problems, he knew Sam wouldn't share them with others, not if she could avoid it.
**Such a situation could be very self-destructive.** Selmak supplied, though he was already well aware. If Jacob wasn't so sure she'd dodge his attempts to help like she no doubt would her friend's, he would have went to Earth immediately. But he was already confident that SG-1 and everyone else who cared for her were already trying to do what they could. If he also tried to get her to open up, it would definitely just make things worse.
**It is natural to be perturbed with the events that have unfolded.**
Perturbed... right. Unsettled, maybe. Flustered. Taken aback... WAY aback. She was different, and NO ONE seemed to know how. The people back at the SGC didn't really want to try and dig any of the stuff up in the pyramid, assuming they could negotiate the metallic design without damaging what lay underneath. He had to agree with that logic. Opening up the machine with little more than a very basic knowledge of it's intentions could get messy. It also could take a long time to figure out. Even for a team of Tok'ra scientists. Or, they could end up pressing the wrong button and lose any chance they may have at helping Sam.
And now, Sam's fate lay in the translation of a couple of stones. An ominous situation at best. He just didn't see these aliens writing a 'how to reverse' process on a bunch of tablets... on a completely different planet.
**It is most unlikely.** Selmak agreed.
Jacob pretty well doubted that they had a reverse process at all. They were mimicking the Goa'uld, after all. Why would those who changed want to go back and lose all of their newfound power?
**We know nothing about these aliens or their motives. Perhaps this is one of the things that these spheres will help us to reveal.**
//Truth be told, I really don't give a rat's ass why they do what they do, if we can't find a way to reverse it.//
"Jacob." The deep, reverberating greeting pulled him out of his reverie. The Tok'ra before him bowed slightly. "Selmak."
"Griecol." Jacob acknowledged uneasily. He always felt uneasy around Griecol. Jacob didn't have anything against the Tok'ra, it was just... awkward.
**Only because you make it so.** Selmak admonished.
"You are uneasy," Griecol pointed out, seeing Jacob's worry and anxiety, partly because of his daughter, and also mixed in with the weirdness he felt at Griecol's presence, "has there been any updates to Samantha's condition?"
The obvious concern in his voice only served to make Jacob feel even more uneasy. For almost 200 years Griecol and Selmak had been mated. Of course, Selmak had previously been in a female body. Jacob, however, was decidedly not female. Despite sharing Selmak's deep feelings for Griecol, and his current host, Yensi, the idea of being close like that with another guy was out of the question. Just the thought was extremely unnerving. Very, very taboo.
Thankfully, they didn't pursue their physical relationship due to Jacob's discomfort with it. Nevertheless, the feelings were there whenever they were in each other's presence, something that Jacob tried very hard to ignore. Even if they weren't DOING anything, he didn't like...
**Loving?** Selmak proposed, with just a hint of amusement.
//Would you just stop?//
**We both are well aware you would have skirted the issue for hours.**
Fine, loving. He didn't like... loving another guy. It was wrong on so many levels. Firstly, Griecol was a guy. And secondly... Well, he was a guy! There needn't be any further justification.
**Such a thing is common on your world, Jacob.** Selmak informed him from his own knowledge. He knew she wasn't pushing him to pursue a physical relationship, that wasn't going to happen no matter what she said. She just wanted him to open his mind to the possibility of being close to another guy... emotionally.
He didn't have a good comeback.
"No, there's nothing new." Jacob finally replied.
"Ah, that is both good and bad." The other man replied knowingly.
"Well, at least it means nothing else has gone wrong... yet." Jacob swallowed as he remembered when George had called him to the base when this all started. Sam could have easily died then.
"I am aware that this is difficult for you, as it would be for any parent. But you must endeavor to remain positive, in case Samantha does not."
Another Tok'ra took that moment to walk by, reminding Jacob that they were standing in the middle of the hallway. He really didn't like having this discussion out in the open for all to hear.
Griecol saw Jacob's expression. "Shall we continue in a more private location?"
Might as well, he figured. Griecol was definitely the most comfortable choice to talk with about such a personal matter, though the comfort was only relative. Even so, it wasn't the easiest thing for him to do. Jacob motioned for Griecol to lead the way, as his quarters were the closest.
Once there, they both sat in two chairs that were separated by a small table. Jacob sighed softly. Despite being parted by a piece of furniture, their closeness to each other was hard to miss.
"You are uncomfortable?"
"Well, um, a little, maybe." Jacob stumbled.
"We do not need to talk if it is awkward for you." Griecol advised.
**It would be best for you... both of us, to share these problems with someone that we must open our mouth up to speak with.**
Selmak was right, and he preferred this setup to, say, Anise. "No, it's alright. Nothing I can't deal with."
"If you are sure..."
"I am. I was just never really any good at talking about... this sort of thing, with anyone." Jacob was shocked at his own admission. While he didn't tend to talk about his feelings, he also didn't talk about not talking about his feelings.
"Yes, it has always been obvious to me that you are a reserved man," and after a moment, Greicol continued, "a quality I'm sure your daughter also possesses."
"One reason that I worry." Jacob agreed.
"Rightfully so, this is a great burden to carry alone."
"Yeah, I just wonder how long it's going to last before we figure it out." Exactly how long would she have to try to bear it by herself? That day couldn't come soon enough, in his mind. When everything was back to normal, then he could breathe a sigh of relief.
"I am certain that Ra'ental continues to work hard on the translations." Griecol stated, obviously trying to allay any doubts Jacob may had.
Selmak came forth at that comment, exhaling her frustration at Jacob's previous antics. "Only when Jacob affords him the concentration to do so."
At that, the other man chuckled. "This I can imagine."
"Well, he can hardly be blamed. We are both troubled."
"I would be worried if you weren't. It is a most trying situation for a father."
"So it is. Even I find it hard at times to see this end well." Well being Sam back in her former state, Jacob knew.
"It pains me to see you both in such a condition. That I must leave on assignment in but a few days only makes it worse." Griecol announced.
"Caropps?" Selmak clarified.
"Yes. If I do not return to his court shortly, he may begin to suspect my allegiance."
"He has little power among the Goa'uld, and is not a System Lord."
"That is true, but his hand is in almost everyone's business. I know of few System Lords that do not unwittingly have one of his spies in their midst."
"I see." Selmak returned.
Jacob ignored most of the conversation, instead focussing on Griecol. His host, Yensi, was practically a baby. Hell, he was way younger than either of his kids. Somewhere in his early 20's, and he'd been a host a few years longer than Jacob had. Symbiotes aside, there were more than a couple decades between them. That only made the idea of... the emotional attachment thing all the more odd. Sure, he had nothing against the kid, or his symbiote, but he could hardly see himself looking at him with any love other than what a father might have.
He felt Selmak's amusement at that thought.
"But, it is not today." Griecol stated with a smile.
*
"Your arm is healing along very nicely." Janet announced, wrapping the air cast around the offending limb.
She watched as Alahn picked at the straps.
It was amazing what could be accomplished in a little less than a week. She was hardly surprised, though, being far from the first time Janet had been in contact with such healing. Even so, she still looked upon the process with awe. It was like watching the human body mend in fast forward.
"That other cast was so uncomfortable." Alahn stated.
"It can be. Usually people wear it for weeks, though, not days."
"Poor things." The girl's voice was laced with true pity.
Janet couldn't help but laugh. "It's better than nothing."
"And that's about it."
"What about a pair of sticks and a couple pieces of string?" Janet wondered.
"I guess it's better than that, too."
Janet looked at the girl before her. They'd been on base for a while now. She had to wonder what Alahn had been up to since then. "Have you two gotten off the base at all?"
"No," the girl announced idly, "but we did get to visit the surface a couple times. Chaperoned."
Janet nodded in understanding. "You must be just about bored out of your skull."
She guessed her words could have been a bit more... eloquent, but apparently neither of them minded.
"Yeah."
Janet wanted to talk with Sam, but didn't know what subjects would be safe. Bringing up Cassie would just be a big reminder about the world off base that Sam couldn't participate in. It seemed to pretty much cut out anything personal. And professionally, well, similar problems existed. SG-1 definitely weren't going to be involved with offworld missions for a while, and from what she had heard Sam wasn't really interested in doing much research on base.
She hoped she wouldn't have to kick herself for mentioning it. "How's the translation going?"
"Good... I guess."
"Haven't you been to see Daniel lately?" Janet questioned. She'd think that it would be the first thing Sam and Alahn would check on.
"Yeah, but we haven't really talked to him about it." Alahn informed her.
"No? Why not?"
"Well, you know, he probably hasn't really found out much of anything yet."
Janet caught on. "And you're not sure he ever will."
Alahn nodded. Janet could understand, if their hopes had a chance of being dashed, they'd probably want to hold on as long as possible. She hated that the two before her were even put into such a position.
Janet had to fight not to ask Sam and Alahn how they were. Knowing others as she did, she was sure the question had been asked on multiple occasions. Also, knowing Sam as she did, they both must have been completely sick of it by then. She didn't really want to aggravate them if she could avoid it. But, just what COULD she do?
"Well, I know this base isn't exactly bustling with things to do, but if you ever want some company for anything, just let me know."
Taking it as a cue to leave, Alahn hopped down from the infirmary bed. "Thanks, we'll keep that in mind."
*
"So, can you do it?"
"I, um, well, yes. I guess I can."
"Great."
"You came up with this plan all by yourself?"
"Yeah... what's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, nothing. This will be good for everyone involved."
"Yup, great plans are my specialty."
"If you say so, sir."
"Hey!"
*
"Rise and shine, sleepyheads." Both Sam and Alahn were awoken by the playful sing-song.
"What's going on?" Sam asked as she opened her eyes. "Sir?"
Colonel O'Neill smiled cheekily at her. "Come on."
"What?" she asked, still not completely awake.
//What is he doing?// Alahn puzzled.
**I have no idea.**
"Sheesh, Carter. Time is of the essence here." He replied, tapping his watch impatiently.
"Is something wrong?" Sam was clueless as to what to make of his behavior.
"We gotta go, now."
//Why won't he tell you what's going on?//
Sam didn't know, but it was really starting to annoy her.
"Sir..." she tried. In response, the Colonel grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to her feet. Sam could only be thankful that they went to bed fully clothed. "Sir!"
"Less talky, more walky." He intoned, pushing her towards the partly opened door.
Pushing her into the hall, she saw Teal'c standing by the door, looking out.
"Teal'c?" she questioned.
"You have been most inefficient, O'Neill." Teal'c stated, glancing down at his own watch.
"Sorry, T."
"What is going on here?" Sam asked harshly.
Teal'c simply started guiding her down the hall by her shoulder. "We must go now."
"Go where? Why?" And why the hell wouldn't they answer these simple questions? Teal'c especially. It wasn't like him to be so... secretive.
They led her to the elevator, pushing the button for level 11. Sam felt herself getting angry. Just what were they up to? As they were getting up towards NORAD, Alahn took over. Wouldn't do to freak out the people on the upper levels. Most had no idea what lay in the mountain below.
"What are you doing?" Alahn asked as she turned around to face the two men.
Teal'c remained silent, staring at the door. Even the Colonel adopted a similar posture to Teal'c. It wasn't until the door opened on their destination that the silence was broken.
"Quickly now." Colonel O'Neill warned, ushering her out of the elevator and towards the one that went to the surface.
This time, there were other people on the lift. Subsequently, Alahn remained silent, fixing her companions with a dubious stare.
**I just don't get it.** Sam informed her in frustration. It just didn't make any sense to her.
//Where could they be taking us?//
**To the surface, I guess. But why all this cloak and dagger stuff?**
//If you don't know, I definitely don't.//
The elevator finally reached the top level. They got out, and went towards the parking area. The Colonel and Teal'c signed themselves out.
The guard didn't even mention her presence. Why wouldn't he care about a strange girl leaving the premises? When she had come up before, they had bypassed the checkpoints to keep questions from being raised, so this guy had no idea who she was.
She didn't have much time to think about it as Teal'c guided her past all the personnel cars. Near the back there was a rather rickety looking gray van. The engine was even running. As they neared, she saw Daniel's head poke out of the driver's side.
"Glad you could make it. I was beginning to think you'd never come." He welcomed.
"Well, you know." The Colonel explained.
They opened the rear doors, motioning for her to enter.
//Is this wise?//
Sam was hesitant. At the moment, she honestly didn't know. **What else can we do?**
//Nothing, I guess.//
Slowly getting in, the men followed her. After shutting the doors, which she noticed had covered windows, they sat down on a bench opposite her. Even the view to the front of the van had been blocked off.
She heard Daniel shift into gear, and felt the vehicle begin to move as they made their way out of the facility.
After they had been driving for several minutes, Sam finally retook control. "Just what the hell are you guys doing?"
Teal'c regarded her coolly. He spoke simply. "We are kidnapping you."
Sam's jaw hung open for a few moments. Both she and Alahn were completely thrown for a loop by that statement. "Why?"
"O'Neill told me to."
Colonel O'Neill looked hurt. "Don't blame it on me."
She really wished she knew EXACTLY what 'it' was.
Teal'c turned his head towards the Colonel. "It was, in fact, your idea."
"You didn't have to go along with it."
"If I did not, you threatened to revoke my 'ice cream privileges.'"
Sam couldn't help but notice she was no closer to an answer. Were they themselves? Should she have made more of a fuss on base before they had her in such a compromising position?
"If I don't get some answers real soon..." she warned.
"Now, Carter, getting mad is no way to solve your problems." The Colonel tsked.
WHAT? "Excuse me?"
"Yelling at us isn't gonna get us to tell." He clarified.
No, she would not. After all this, they couldn't get her to.
...Well, maybe they could. She sighed. "Fine. Will one of you PLEASE tell me what the hell is going on?"
Colonel O'Neill smiled. "See, was that so hard?"
Killing him was sounding better and better each moment. "Will you tell me?" she reiterated.
"Nope."
Amendment. Killing them both sounded really good. Daniel, too, for good measure.
The van slowed, and then came to a stop. The engine turned off.
"We're here." Daniel announced.
Beside herself with anger, Sam didn't even bother to ask where 'here' was.
"You'll probably want to watch the voice thing." The Colonel warned before opening the back door.
The early morning sun poured into the back of the van. Hoping to finally figure out SOMETHING, she stepped out.
And immediately saw Janet's house, complete with a very excited Cassie on the porch.
"Guys!" Cassie exclaimed, rushing down the steps.
"Hey, kiddo." The Colonel greeted.
"It is good to see you, Cassandra Fraiser." Teal'c added.
"Cassie." Daniel nodded as he climbed out of the van, Cassie giving them all a hug in turn.
Sam was in complete shock, only able to stand there. She couldn't process the events unfolding before her. They'd woken her up with no warning, rushed her out of the base, and took her here. Legs shaking, she sat down on the bumper of the van. Sam felt tears threaten, but couldn't be sure what they were tears of.
Alahn was angry that they had been led on for this.
"Sam?" Daniel asked.
She looked at the driveway below her, trying to figure out exactly how she felt. A hand taking hers pulled Sam out of her muddled thoughts. Looking up, she saw Cassie smiling at her. Through everything, a small part of her had wondered how Cassie would take the news. It was then that she realized that part had been afraid of the answer.
"I'd wanted to see you after mom told me what had happened." Cassie stated softly, smiling.
Sam was about to speak, but remembered they were in a very public location. Alahn quickly stood up, facing Colonel O'Neill. "Why all of this?" she asked, waving wildly at the van.
Standing proudly, he replied. "Never ask an artist where he gets his inspiration."
Alahn got up, brushing Cassie aside. Sam was frustrated. Alahn was angry, and wanted to be. Sam felt so many things, anger that they had scared the hell out of both of them, relief to be off the base, confusion as to why the Colonel had thought the dramatic exit necessary, and various other feelings. She didn't really want to be angry, but with Alahn's mind thoroughly set, it was hard for her to shake it. It didn't help that this stunt only further reinforced the fact that she hadn't had much control over things lately.
She just wished that she could be happy to see Cassie for the first time in way too long.
**Well, we ARE off base.** Sam pointed out. Being stuck in the mountain had been something Alahn had gotten sick of very quickly.
Alahn stared out into the street, eyes slightly squinted. //That's true.// she conceded.
"How long?" Alahn suddenly asked, turning towards the others.
"How long what?" Daniel replied.
"How long are we staying here?"
"Until, oh-sometime-tomorrow." Colonel O'Neill answered as he looked at his watch.
A whole day? Sam was surprised when Alahn smiled slightly.
"Shall we go inside? Janet said she'd fix breakfast." Daniel stated.
Alahn's stomach rumbled in response. "Let's go."
With the previous tension now subsided, they all started up the stairs.
*
Teal'c felt relief as they all sat down at the table. He had seen the mix of emotions pass on both Major Carter's and Alahn's features. There had been several moments when he truly worried that perhaps they had overstepped things, and that Alahn was going to cause a scene. Or, more aptly, flee the scene. The situation appeared to have diffused, for which he was immensely grateful.
Doctor Fraiser could be heard nearby in the kitchen, accompanied by the sounds of various foods cooking. "I'm almost done, someone want to help me bring everything out?"
"I shall assist you, Doctor Fraiser." Teal'c rose before anyone else could respond. As he made his way into the kitchen, he heard Daniel Jackson attempting to begin a conversation.
"So, Cassie, how is school going?"
The reply was lost to him as Teal'c focused his attention on the Doctor. She stood over a large pan of eggs, which she dumped onto a plate.
"Near miss out there." She commented.
"Indeed." Teal'c replied, grabbing the plate of eggs, as well as one laden with sausages.
"I caught a glance out the window. She didn't look too happy." The Doctor explained.
"She was not." Teal'c made his way into the dining room as Janet followed with bacon and some fresh toast.
"I hope there's enough." Daniel teased as the plates were set on the table and people began to serve themselves.
"Well, I'm not going to cook again." Doctor Fraiser warned.
A small round of chuckles accompanied the remark. Teal'c was about to take his first bite when he was interrupted.
"Wait." Cassandra exclaimed, directed towards Alahn and Major Carter.
"What?" Alahn asked.
"You should try some ketchup on that." She stated, indicating her own eggs coated in the rich substance.
Cassandra and Alahn both began to laugh.
Teal'c recalled that, since discovering the condiment, Cassandra had been quite taken by it. There were very few foods that it would not accompany. Major Carter, if he remembered correctly, had never used it so much, and not on eggs. It seemed that Cassandra Fraiser was having fun with the situation.
Alahn took the proffered bottle and poured a small drop on some of her eggs. Taking a bite, she appeared pleased with the results. Pleased enough to add more to them, at least. Though it was a mundane thing, everyone started laughing. Even Teal'c cracked a smile, glad to have the time away from the pressures on base.
They ate mostly in silence, none of the food going to waste. Much of that was due to the hearty serving that Teal'c took, which really wasn't anything new.
When Doctor Fraiser got up to get the dishes, Teal'c again offered his assistance. "Well, I guess it was a good idea, after all." She commented offhandedly, loading the dishwasher.
"I had had some doubts." Teal'c confided. He had been especially concerned with the whole 'kidnapping' part, to which O'Neill had been adamant.
"I think simply being away from base is good for them both. Who knows when all of this is going to get cleared up." Teal'c heard the unspoken 'if' in Doctor Fraiser's words.
"Alahn did appear most eager at the prospect of 24 hours away from the base."
The Doctor nodded. "And Cassie's been begging to see Sam since I had a chance to tell her."
*
Jack smiled, thoroughly pleased with himself. Sure, there had been a small snag in his plan as, MAYBE he took things just a smidgen too far, but disaster had been averted, and things were looking good. The whole thing was mainly for Carter's benefit, but he had everyone else's mental health, as well as his own, to look after. He had been just as adversely affected by all the recent time spent on base as anyone else. And, if he did say so himself, the whole James Bond, 'Mission Impossible' thing had been fun.
Ok, so it had almost sent Alahn and Carter racing down the street.
Now, they looked quite content, leaning back in the chair, recuperating after the abundance of food. Cassie still looked pleased with herself, though why the whole egg stint had been at all funny, he hadn't the slightest clue. It didn't matter, the event had seemed to trigger a release for all of them. It was as though they had all been holding their breaths before that, but learned things would be ok and they could finally exhale.
He couldn't be much happier. Jack took a deep breath, inhaling fresh air that hadn't seen hide nor hair of a processor or industrial sized vent. It felt incredibly good just to sit and relax in the normal world, where people were peacefully ignorant of the perils that constantly befell their planet. Sometimes it was hard to remember that only a handful of people knew about the Stargate, or its function.
"So, whatcha wanna do?" he suddenly asked Alahn.
"Huh?" she responded, Teal'c and the Doc returning to the room.
"Don't get me wrong," Jack started, "I could just sit here all day with no complaints, but I'm sure you could do better."
The girl pondered the question for several moments. "As nice as it is to be somewhere with no concrete in sight, I've had just about enough of buildings." Alahn finally stated.
Amen to that, he thought. Buildings were definitely not appealing at the moment. So, what did that leave?"
"How about the park?" Daniel suggested.
Damn, he was just about to say that. Really, he was.
"Sounds good." Alahn commented.
"And the weather's nice, too." Cassie added.
He took that as a definite yes. "Guess it's a go. How 'bout we walk there?"
It wasn't very far, and Jack was sure Carter and Alahn weren't too keen on riding in the van again.
A round of agreements accompanied everyone getting up and heading towards the door.
*
Alahn was pleased. She was willing to forgive the over dramatic presentation of the gift for the chance of spending a whole entire day away from the dreary confines of the base and all of its trappings. The few times she had been able to go to the surface paled in comparison to this.
The walk was pleasant. It was a nice, late summer day that was proving to turn out quite a warm one.
Alahn found that part of her didn't want to participate in the conversation going on around her. Another part wanted to do all she could to establish herself with these people that Sam's thoughts and memories assured her cared about her wellbeing, as well as Sam's. She found herself gravitating towards Cassie. Though a couple years younger than herself, she was probably the most understanding of Alahn's plight.
"Hockey, Jack?" Alahn turned to Daniel as he exclaimed the words with shock.
"There's always time for hockey, Daniel." Jack assured.
**Of course, he would think that.** Sam acknowledged.
"I have observed this to not be true, O'Neill."
"It's a state of mind, T."
Teal'c gave his signature look. "It is, in fact, a game."
"You don't understand, none of you do." Jack whined.
"In this, you are correct."
"Hey!"
"Man, he can be such a clunk sometimes." Cassie muttered.
"I heard that!" Jack called back.
"Clunk?" Alahn asked at the same time.
"Yeah." Cassie responded, not explaining herself.
From Sam she got a basic idea of the slang that really wasn't. They were both puzzled as to where she had gotten the odd description. It did sound fitting, though.
When they got to the park Cassie quickly muttered a string of explanations that Alahn didn't even try to keep up with. The result was that the two girls were walking across the park alone.
"I figured you wouldn't want to spend all your time with that crowd." Cassie explained.
"No." Alahn agreed. As they continued to walk she watched the various other people there. Dogs, a creature that didn't exist in any form on her planet, were a common occurrence. Men and women jogged down the paths. Children threw balls and frisbees to each other.
She felt... jealous.
"You ok?" Cassie asked, seeing something on her face.
Alahn found herself wanting to pour her heart and soul out to this other girl. Cassie had yet to ask her how she, or they, were dealing with things, or how she felt. It was a relief, and made her want to tell Cassie everything.
**Then why don't you?** Sam asked her.
Alahn wasn't sure what it was that withheld her.
"They all think that we aren't handling this." She stated, laughing nervously. It hurt Alahn that they wouldn't believe her. Sam's position was less certain, part of her wanted them to see through to the truth, as they seemed to be doing, and take some sort of action. The better they both tried to be, the more the others almost seemed to accuse them for it. They acted as though she and Sam had no right to be ok.
"Yeah." Cassie agreed, picking a small, white flower as they walked down the path.
Alahn had expected her to launch into some sort of tirade that perhaps they were right. She didn't know how to react when it became apparent that single word was all Cassie would put forth on the subject.
**Cassie's a smart girl, not to mention she knows what it's like to be hovered over.**
Alahn nodded, but for some reason, even though it would annoy her, she was partially upset that Cassie didn't pursue the opening. The one person she might be willing to open up to, for what reason, she couldn't say, was the only one who wasn't really interested in talking, it seemed. Well, maybe she was interested, but she wasn't pushing like the other's tended to do.
Looking back to see if they were out of sight of the others, Alahn sat down against a nearby tree. Cassie quickly took her lead and sat next to Alahn.
She couldn't believe she was actually trying to initiate things. "Why can't they just accept that we're ok when we say we are?"
Cassie didn't look at her, twirling the stem in her fingers. "They're smarter than that. You probably gave them a reason to doubt you, too."
It skipped Alahn's notice that Cassie was automatically assuming they weren't ok.
"But none of them will stop asking me how I'm doing, or Sam." Alahn sighed.
"It's probably far too late for you to get them to believe. They never put these kind of issues aside until they're dealt with. If you ever want them to stop, you're going to have to spill."
"There's nothing to spill." Alahn tried to reply as nonchalantly as possible.
"See, that was very unbelievable. The slight hesitation, the overly smooth tone. Trying too hard to cover it up is just as telltale as breaking down around them." Cassie responded as she turned towards Alahn, her voice simply explanatory, without accusation.
They had both known it all along, but denial and an unwillingness to actually talk about everything had stopped anything from coming of it.
"I don't want to talk about it, that's the whole point."
"You're talking about it with me." Cassie observed.
"But, the... that's different." She tried to explain.
"If you say so." Cassie started picking at the flower.
**She's right, you know.** Sam added.
//Oh, and we'll simply walk up and explain everything.// Opening up like that was something that Alahn wasn't comfortable with doing.
**I didn't say it would be easy, just that we should.**
"Everything's just so hard to explain." Alahn threw out, hoping to find some sort of excuse.
"They say that talking helps," Cassie nodded her head in the group's general direction, "and, so far, they haven't been wrong."
Sure, part of her wanted every argument she could come up with to be shot down, but then she wouldn't have anything to hide behind. Irony of the highest order. It was annoying to be pulled in two directions, wanting to tell and wishing to hide everything. Alahn already had a fair idea which side would end up winning, though.
"Well, they could be, for once." She offered lamely.
"Yeah," Cassie agreed, "but I don't think so."
"Yeah." Alahn echoed.
*
Daniel took a few steps out before turning around and sitting on the bench nearby. The sun felt nice, and he could hardly spot a cloud in the sky. As nice as the scene was, especially completed with the various carefree people that were in the park, he couldn't quite get himself to unwind that far.
"So, exactly how long has it been since we've seen Earth outside of the base?" Jack suddenly asked, breaking their silence.
"Twenty-two days, O'Neill." Teal'c stated.
Damn, Daniel could have sworn it was a lot longer. Not that 22 days was anything to gawk at. Nearly a month confined to the mountain, only broken by an odd mission with torture and impending doom. Not what he considered relaxing, at all.
Well, they were out now, and Daniel figured that was what mattered.
"Well, everyone finally has a chance to take a breath. I'm just glad that Lieutenant Bradly was moved to stable condition a couple days ago." Janet explained.
"So, he's gonna make it?" Jack replied, his voice truly concerned for the kid.
"It's looking very promising at this point."
"That's good." Daniel responded. One death was more than enough, he thought.
There was a moment of silence as everyone took in the news.
"I feel like I should be back on the base translating." He suddenly blurted out. It felt wrong to just be sitting around while something so important was waiting to be done.
"Ah, ah!" Jack waggled his finger, turning towards Daniel. "We shall have none of that. Today, the mountain, and all of its worries, do not exist."
"But..."
"Daniel W. Jackson." Jack scolded, crossing his arms and frowning.
The scene was amusing, and he also wanted to continue his rebuttal, but something else caught Daniel's attention. "W?"
"Yes, W."
"Jack, my middle name does NOT begin with a W."
"Could've fooled me, Whineypants." Jack replied with a totally serious expression.
"Do you know how old you sound right now?" Daniel asked.
"I know what you are, but what am I?"
Daniel couldn't help himself. He shook his head. "You are such a baby. A big, old, baby."
"Teal'c," Jack whined like the child he was accused of being, "he's calling me names!"
"Hey, that's not fair! You can't have Teal'c come to your rescue. Besides, he likes me more, don't you, Teal'c?" Daniel gave his most innocent smile to the large man.
He merely raised his eyebrow, apparently unwilling to take sides in their little debacle. When Jack's pleading gaze turned towards Janet, she threw up her hands and shook her head.
"Looks like it's just you and me."
"Are we going to get caught up in a name calling war?" Daniel couldn't help but ask. Just how childish was Jack going to get right now?
"Hey, you called me old. The gloves are off, buddy."
Daniel looked at him oddly. "So, I can call you a baby, but not old?"
"I have my dignity." Daniel watched as Jack seemed to puff up like a bird showing off.
He could only shake his head and try to suppress a laugh.
"Indeed, O'Neill, for a human you have 'surpassed the summit.'" Teal'c commented.
"That's 'over the hill,' Teal'c." Daniel advised.
Jack looked hurt. "Not over the hill, more like at the peak, viewing all you poor people trudging on up."
"You're right, you're right. My bad." Daniel acquiesced, not really wanting to get into it with the other man.
"I'm glad you're able to see wisdom, Daniel."
It was only just then that Daniel realized he had all but forgotten the seed of their dispute, him wanting to work. Obviously, it had been Jack's intention. He could be sly when he wanted to.
Janet scanned the surrounding area. "Where did Cassie run off to?"
"They're out there, somewhere." Jack replied, waving his hand at the park before him.
Daniel suddenly was aware he couldn't recall what Cassie had said to them before making a hasty exit with Alahn. Well, they were most likely talking to each other in private. He figured it was probably a good thing, Alahn got to have contact with someone more her age, and their situation wasn't all that dissimilar. They were both alien to this world, and, as things now stood, neither could return home.
Maybe Cassie could succeed where they all had been failing.
Trying to push those thoughts aside for a while, Daniel sighed and leaned back in the bench. There wasn't anything he could do at the moment, so he might as well not fret about it. His mind had a hard time seeing it that way, though, and he had a hard time making himself not worry. Of course, he had little else to occupy his mind with, which certainly didn't help.
"Funny, now that we actually have this time off base, it's hard to think of what to do with it." Daniel commented absently.
"Isn't that how it always is." Jack replied, finally sitting down himself.
Daniel nodded, it always did seem to go that way. It didn't matter, aside from his unshakable unease, he didn't mind if they just stayed there and did absolutely nothing. It was refreshing to simply exist, or as close to that state as he could get himself.
*
Teal'c sat in the backyard of the house, performing kel'no'reem. They had returned to Doctor Fraiser's home for lunch and now everyone was lazily going about whatever business they felt like doing. As he settled himself into meditation, Teal'c could hear the faint sounds of televised sports coming from inside.
Exhaling deeply, he closed his eyes and cleared his mind. Concentrating on achieving total calm, Teal'c prepared himself for the maintenance his prim'ta would perform.
Just as his mind was almost deep enough, the sound of someone treading on the grass nearby disturbed him.
Teal'c didn't open his eyes, or make any movement. He listened as the person came to a stop beside him and lowered to the ground. Neither spoke, both simply sitting there. He could sense the symbiote, so he knew who was beside him.
Sighing heavily, the resonance of a symbiote clearly audible, Major Carter finally spoke. "I'm not interrupting you, am I?"
"You are not." Teal'c responded as he opened his eyes, though, technically, she was.
She was quiet for several moments longer. He could hear her slightly hastened breathing, belying her anxiety. Still, he waited for her to talk.
"Nice day out." She stated nervously, looking up at the clear sky.
"It is." He could tell that she wanted to speak about something more substantial, but was struggling with the words.
"Twenty-two days." Major Carter mused. "So, that would be almost 21 days since we went to P2C 421."
Teal'c nodded at the designation of the planet they had encountered the pyramid on and, therefore, the start of recent events.
"Feels like so much longer."
For a moment, he thought she was going to expand on her thought, but whatever she was going to say remained unspoken. Teal'c knew she was fighting to get something off of her chest, perhaps Alahn's as well, but he wasn't sure what he should do. Prying could cause her to lose whatever drive she had, and Teal'c wanted Major Carter to put voice to her troubles.
Not knowing what else to do, Teal'c simply stared ahead and hoped she'd continue.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the debate on her features. She sucked in a shaky breath, closing her eyes. It was obvious to him that she and Alahn were taking two very different sides in whatever it was they wished to accomplish.
"Is there something you wish to discuss?" he asked, hoping to give her an opening.
"I, uh..." Major Carter looked extremely apprehensive. He wasn't sure what she was going to do. "No, Teal'c. It's nothing... I'm gonna go now."
Quickly, she got up and walked back to the house. Teal'c continued to stare forward for several moments. She had been so close to saying something. Exactly what, he was unsure. All he knew was that, whatever it was going to be, it would have been a good start for further communication.
He was sad that one or both of them allowed fear to get in the way of something that was obviously important.
Evening was approaching, the sun well on its way down the sky. He watched the shadows stretch lazily along the grass, seeming to reach for something they could never quite catch. At the moment, there was nothing he could do.
Exhaling deeply, he closed his eyes and cleared his mind. Concentrating on achieving total calm, Teal'c prepared himself for the maintenance his prim'ta would perform.
*
Janet sat on the couch beside the Colonel, some television program droning softly in the background, her head resting on the back. She thought it was a documentary, but couldn't be bothered to lift her head and check. The latest days had drained her as much as any of the others there. She had had Sam, both a friend and a patient, to worry about, and then along came Bradly. Janet really could have done without either, but as a doctor she was forced to thrust herself right into the heat of things.
Fighting, she tried to get the image of Bradly out of her mind. Warner had been on his way home at that time, so she'd had to begin the exploratory surgery herself. It definitely wasn't something she enjoyed remembering. The only positive thing from the experience was, barring infections or unforeseen complications, the Lieutenant would pull through.
All she really had left to worry about was Sam. She had to wonder whether those translations would be of any help, or just another hard surface to smash all of their hopes against. This was wearing on them all, Sam and Alahn the most. They had yet to truly deal with it. Janet realized that they should have tried to do more in the beginning. Of course, it had been easy to just leave it, with the hopes that Daniel would be able to pull her through it. Then again, he'd had his own problems to deal with, too.
Janet almost gasped at the sudden revelation. Since Sam was no longer in Daniel, it seemed that everyone, including her, had all but forgotten what he had been through. And, of course, Daniel being Daniel, he wouldn't raise a fuss about himself, especially with everyone worrying about someone else. She could kick herself for being so naive.
Deciding to correct the problem, Janet made her way to the dining room where Daniel sat reading at the table. Since Colonel O'Neill had prohibited anything work related, he sat over one of the mystery novels she had lying around her house.
"Figure it out, yet?" she asked, taking a seat across from him.
Looking up, he gave her a small smile. "I only just started."
"I thought you'd be a natural at that sort of thing."
"Maybe," he replied offhandedly, "but not in 37 pages."
"Almost forgot what the outside world looked like." Janet stated, wondering just how to broach the subject without clobbering him over the head with it.
"It has been a while."
"Certainly wasn't one of my better weeks." As she said it, she realized it wasn't nearly as subtle as she had hoped.
Daniel wasn't oblivious, knowing that something was going on. "Don't I know it." He spoke cautiously.
Shaking her head, Janet chuckled at herself. "Ok, now that I completely messed that up, I guess I should get to it. You want to talk?"
"About what?" Daniel cocked his head.
Couldn't he put one and one together? "I don't know... Maybe there's something from your brief time as a host that you'd like to discuss."
"Janet..." he started.
"Daniel, if you're going to try to twist this to make it about Sam, stop right now. Everyone, including you, has been trying to do what they can to help her through this. She's not lacking in support right now. You, as it has come to my attention, have been virtually neglected."
"There isn't much to say." He smiled at her, shifting in his chair.
"Much," Janet mimicked, "but there is something." She concluded.
Daniel dropped the book so he could grab his forearms. "Well, even though it was only two weeks, I got used to having her there."
"I couldn't imagine what that must be like." Having someone's thoughts in your head all the time was definitely a strange concept. But to live it...
"Anything that Sam thought or felt at any given moment, I could see it, or even feel it myself."
Janet didn't have a reply, deciding not to give voice to an awed 'wow.' Not that the information itself was shocking, but the way Daniel said it added so much more meaning. It was obvious, even if she hadn't been aware prior, that some of the thoughts were not positive.
He continued on anyway. "I mean, it was weird, but it seemed to become so natural. Makes it easier to understand the Tok'ra as a people."
"And now, you're back to basics."
"If Terak would've just believed us, Sam wouldn't have this extra problem to deal with."
Whether he was intentionally diverting the attention from himself, Janet couldn't be sure.
"You both must have better insight into each other now."
"Definitely." Daniel stated absently.
"And you miss that."
"Silly, huh?" he chuckled.
"I wouldn't say that. Knowing you, Daniel, what bothers you the most is that you can't help her out like you did before." Janet pointed out.
"Yeah, it was definitely a lot easier to do something when I knew exactly what was going on in her mind."
Janet nodded. "I'm sure it was."
*
Sam lay on the bed that had been set up for her, staring at the lamp that lit the ceiling. They had actually decided to go through and try to talk to someone. A brief, but heated, discussion had charged Sam with the dialogue. Nervous as hell, she went off bound and determined. Janet and Daniel were out of the question, she was sure both would overreact. Cassie didn't deserve such burdens and she had no clue how she'd even begin to approach the Colonel. Teal'c seemed the best option. He was thoughtful and would give her space, which she so desperately needed.
They had been so close! Sam had sat herself right beside him. Teal'c acted just as she had predicted. He didn't pry, waiting for her to come out on her own terms. Though she hadn't looked at him too much, she could feel him asking her to talk, letting her know he would listen, something in his presence relayed that. The closer she got to saying anything on the subject of her or Alahn, though, the tighter her stomach seemed to tie itself. And then when she had been able to overcome that, Alahn had lost her nerve, demanding they not go through with it.
She was scared what the others would think of her. Her fear had naturally compounded Sam's own that she had just been able to deal with.
Almost immediately after the fiasco, Sam had made her way upstairs and they had been there ever since.
**So close.** Sam thought angrily, on the verge of tears. It would have only taken three words to seal the deal. All she needed to do was say something like 'I need help' and there would have been no backing out.
//You've been through so much, they'll look down on us for not being able to handle this.// Alahn said, using Sam's own memories as evidence. Odd things happened around the base all the time, and Sam hadn't made a habit of breaking down with each new occurrence.
But still, Sam knew it wasn't true. They wanted to help her. This wasn't something they were expecting her to come out of with a simple shrug, and the longer it went on, the more she realized it wasn't going to turn out that way no matter how much she'd like it to. Even with all the logical arguments, Sam couldn't bring herself to put this knowledge to the test.
**It shouldn't be so hard.** Not when everyone was already aware things weren't in top shape. She had even been inside Daniel, shouldn't that make it easier to talk to him? Strangely, he was the person that made her most nervous and apprehensive when she thought about getting things out in the open.
//It's because none of them truly understand.// Alahn supplied disdainfully.
**But Daniel does understand.**
That hit a sore spot with Alahn. //He doesn't. He didn't have to go through what I did.//
Sam tried her best to comfort her. **Maybe not, but he knows better than any of them what it's like to deal with all of these thoughts.**
//I don't want to deal with your thoughts and my thoughts and our thoughts. I want to go home.// She may not have had any parents to return to, but Alahn did have a grandmother, friends, and an entire community back on the planet.
Of course, Terak's jaffa prevented them from doing anything about it.
A soft rapping on the door jam interrupted their internal conversation. Cassie's head poked though the slightly opened door. "Can I come in?"
Sam nodded, pushing herself into a sitting position. She hadn't had much time to personally talk with Cassie, a park wasn't a good setting for symbiote tones to ring through the air. "Hey."
With no spectators, Cassie didn't hesitate to rush across the small room and wrap Sam in a big hug, careful of her wounded arm. Sam returned the embrace.
"I was afraid I'd never get a chance to see you. Mom wouldn't let me come to the base for so long." Cassie explained, still holding onto her.
"I missed you, too." Sam replied.
There was a long silence as Cassie sat on the bed, turned towards Sam. She just sat that way for a few moments, deciding what to say. "There's a cure, right?"
Cassie's eyes turned bright, and Sam had to take a shuddering breath. She really hoped so. "I don't know."
"Well, there has to be." Cassie decided, her voice wavering noticeably.
"It doesn't always work that way." Sam spoke as softly as her voice would allow. She took Cassie's hand into hers. "I don't think the things that made this ever intended to go back to the way they were."
She didn't want to spread her negativity, but needed to make sure Cassie didn't have unrealistic hopes when they most likely failed.
"You don't think there is one?" The crushed look on Cassie's face, and the tears that started to fall hurt Sam like no physical blow could. She tried to hold back her own flood.
"Cassie, I'm just saying there may not be one. We haven't stopped searching."
Cassie pulled her hand away, looking betrayed. "But you don't think you'll find anything."
"Cassie." She didn't know what to say. Sam didn't think they'd find anything, Alahn either. Cassie looked dejected, apparently deciding that if Sam didn't think that it was going to happen, then it wasn't.
"You don't..." Cassie began as she stood up, but had to collect herself before she could finish. "You don't want to find a way to fix this!"
"How can you say that?" Sam asked. It was the one thing she wanted worst of all, but she just didn't think it was plausible.
"You've given up. If you did want it, you'd still be trying."
The accusation slammed her. "Please don't say that."
Cassie turned away, staring at the wall. Her arms were crossed, and from Sam's angle she could see the bobbing of her shoulders, accompanied by the occasional shaky inhalation of air. She didn't know what to say to the girl she thought of as a surrogate child.
"I just want things back to normal. I want you back to normal." Cassie suddenly blurted out between sobs.
"I know," Sam said, crossing the room to where Cassie stood, "I know, and I want it, too."
Cassie turned around, and Sam wrapped her in a tight hug.
*
General Hammond watched as his 2IC entered his office. Colonel O'Neill did look rejuvenated, but he wasn't so foolish as to think that one day had solved all of their problems.
"How was the excursion, Colonel?" he asked.
"Excursing, sir. All in all, it seems to have done everyone a bit of good." O'Neill commented.
"Good. The Tok'ra have been continuing their translations of Doctor Jackson's footage, and have just sent us their latest batches." Hammond informed him.
"So things are running along smoothly, then?"
"At the moment, it appears so." Smiling knowingly, Hammond continued. "I take it Doctor Jackson is already in his office."
"Like a speeding bullet, sir."
"Of course." He hadn't expected otherwise. "Is there anything else I should be aware of?"
"Nothing that you don't already know, General."
Hammond nodded. "Dismissed."
"Sir." Colonel O'Neill left the office.
The General just sat there for a few moments. The obvious strain on his people was not something he liked to see. All in all, that comment had told him that there were still some rough edges that needed to be ironed out. But the lightness that Jack had carried himself spoke volumes of the good that had been done. Sometimes they just needed reminding that there was a world outside of the base.
He had yet to see just how everyone else had taken the time away, but he trusted Jack to have told him if anything had gotten worse. So, Hammond felt he could safely assume that affairs were no worse than before, perhaps a bit better. If nothing else, hopefully their brief respite would allow them all to hold on a little longer, until a solution was found.
Well, all he could really do at the moment was wait for the collective efforts of Doctor Jackson and the Tok'ra to reveal whether or not those tablets were going to help them.
*
Jack strode into Daniel's office. Instead of immediately interrupting the man, he got caught up in the video footage that Daniel was watching. So, he thought idly, that's what Daniel was doing while he and Teal'c were exchanging shots with the jaffa. All they went through so that Daniel could pour over some poorly lit footage... he only hoped it would turn out to be worth it.
Daniel, of course, was thoroughly engrossed in his work.
As the archaeologist lifted his head from his journal, he saw Jack's between him and the screen. Jack smiled as he jumped in shock. "Um, hi, Jack."
"Daniel." He greeted in return. "TV's bad for you, you know?"
"Yeah," Daniel agreed hesitantly, "I'm kind of in the middle of something here."
"In the middle of getting your butt out of this office for a while."
"Jack, it's only been..." Daniel glanced up at the clock, and paused. "Four hours?"
"Yup. Now I expect you to go to the commissary to get some real food, not those chocolate bars you like to stash in your desk."
"Real food?"
D'oh, Jack frowned. "Ok, my bad. You are to get some food-like... things from the commissary. And I don't want to see you anywhere near your office for at least half an hour. At least." He stressed.
"Aw, come on, Jack." Daniel pleaded.
"Just be glad I didn't say one hour."
Sighing in defeat, Daniel dropped his journal onto the desk and slowly trundled his way out the door. Jack had to fight back a sigh of relief. Daniel didn't seem to have noticed his little comment about the chocolate.
Peaking out the doorway to make sure Daniel was no longer in sight, Jack made his way to the desk and took one of the aforementioned stashed candy bars.
*
Alahn sat on a stool in Sam's lab. It seemed as good a place to be as any. The stressed looks she had seen that morning before they had returned to the base told her that the others had at least partially overheard Sam's heated discussion with Cassie. Their faces had been more than Alahn could stand, so she had made herself scarce as soon as the opportunity arose.
She didn't enjoy pity.
They all felt sorry for her. Alahn had only just been able to realize this. That wasn't what she wanted, though. She wanted a solution, not sympathy.
**Everyone's doing what they can.** Sam reminded.
//I know.// Alahn allowed. It was just if she wasn't angry, she'd have to deal with a whole assortment of emotions she'd rather not.
**You're going to have to sometime.**
//Not if this gets undone.// she argued.
She felt Sam's weariness at fighting with her over this. It had become a near constant struggle between them. While Sam was gravitating more towards seeking someone out and actually talking about things, Alahn was still adamant against it. Though it wasn't the most comfortable situation now, she knew that bringing everything out in the open, acknowledging everything, would feel much worse.
It was that realization that made her stop Sam when she had sought out Teal'c.
If she could get everyone to back off, maybe she could forget the whole thing ever happened. Get back to normal and put aside the memories of her abduction, the 'blending,' and subsequent torture. Alahn just wanted to move on, but they wouldn't let her.
**You can't just avoid the problem. That will only make things worse.** Sam tried to advise her.
//Well, I'm tired of thinking about it, aren't you? Can't we just... think about nothing for a while?// Alahn suggested. Sam saw the merit in her argument, both of them were losing their cool.
So, Alahn sat there, staring at the various items scattered across the table, thinking about nothing more than how the lights reflected off of them.
TBC
