WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING

This chapter is …filthy. And be warned: it will get worse in the next chapters. It will get sappy. And kinky. One hell of a combination, you think? You're right.

I tried my hand at dialogue- not my strong suit usually, so tell me how I'm doing.

Matters are still sperm-centered here and pretty kinky to top it off- if that bothers you, STAY AWAY!

I don't change my stories because readers are…hmmm…appalled at them, because, to be honest: I pretty much like my fics the way they are. I don't try to make my stories as smutty as possible, I just write what comes to my mind (scary, isn't it? But hey- you're reading this :D).

But if a certain topic offends you, I warmly encourage you NOT TO READ the story!

Nothing of this was written to disgust you. But my stories ARE dirty. I won't deny it. And they will stay that way. I won't lie to you here.

So, if you get embarrassed easily: please, abandon this story NOW!

Okay- the faint of heart gone? Then let's start this…

Celebrate

Chapter 4

When agent Lisbon entered the kitchen half an hour later, Jane had opened a bottle of red wine and poured them both a glass.

Lisbon sat down opposite to him at the counter. She took the glass and downed it without taking a breath.

Jane blinked, but poured her more wine.

Lisbon drank half of it, then smiled at him.

"Smells wonderful in here.", she said.

"Uhm, yes", he answered with a shaky smile, "and, dear Lisbon, brace yourself, for you will now sample a bite of everything I've prepared."

"Oh", she quipped, "what a cruel sacrifice to ask of me- but I'm all game."

He chuckled.

"Okay", he said and brought a fork to her lips, "here comes number one- the lasagna."

She took the bite- and felt her taste buds explode in a bout of sheer lightning. Oh my god.

"Jane", she whispered, "this is…absolutely delicious…"

"Fine", he chuckled, "number two then- Chicken Korma."

She tasted what he offered her. Hmmmm. It was sweet, spicy, and so good a low whimper escaped her throat.

"You like that, hm?", he smiled, "Okay, next is the vegetable curry- for the vegetarians. Open your mouth!"

She did, and swallowed the contents of the spoon he pushed against her lips. Holy heavens- it was hot, smooth, mouth-watering…she licked the spoon clean with her tongue…had he just moaned? No, sure that were the angels singing in her mind right now…damn, the man could cook. Why was she rubbing her legs against each other? She didn't care- his cooking was celestial, simple as that.

"Whoa, Jane", she breathed, "that was- true magic you did in here."

He smiled meekly, clearly flattered.

She downed the rest of her wine- and the third glass he poured her. She started to feel rather- lightheaded.

"Uhm", Jane asked, hesitating, "more wine?"

"Yes, please.", she murmured, handing him her glass.

Okay- she was a responsible adult, so he poured her more.

"Well", he said, smiling, "we are not finished yet. I prepared desert- and it is: handmade vanilla ice cream – done with real vanilla, of course- with freshly sliced pineapple."

He took a rather large bowl of ice cream out of the freezer and piled lots of pineapple pieces on top of it.

"Jane", she chuckled, "I can't eat that much ice cream- or pineapple."

He presented two spoons.

"Don't worry", he said, "I'm going to help."

She tasted the ice cream- and was lost forever.

"Ooooh", she moaned with delight, "Patrick Jane, I think I'll keep you around as my personal ice cream slave…"

He smiled his killer smile.

"I'd like that.", he whispered.

She noticed that he ate a lot of pineapple.

"You like pineapple, hm?", she asked , taking another gulp of her wine.

"Yes, I do", he answered, "very much. What's not to like? It tastes delicious, and is good for almost everything…"

"For what especially?", she teased.

Jane put another piece of pineapple into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

"Did you know, Lisbon", he mused, "that fresh pineapple considerably improves the taste of sperm?"

Lisbon coughed into the wine she was drinking at the moment.

"WHAT?"

"It's true", he answered nonchalantly, "there's been a study some years ago about what makes it taste best- pineapple won. Not that this is important for you….though…do you like to give head, Lisbon?"

She should slap him. She really should. Hard.

But, truth be told: she'd had some red wine at this moment. Some more. So senior special agent Teresa Lisbon started to feel very, very tipsy.

Certainly that was the reason why a grin spread out on her face. Jane couldn't contain his megawatt smile any longer.

"Well", he said," I could understand it if you don't- if I were a girl, I possibly wouldn't like it."

"Why not?", she asked. Hey, hadn't she planned on slapping him? She nipped at the wine. Took a good dram.

"I don't know", he muttered, "I don't think it to be that much of a...delicious treat, that's all."

"You don't 'give head', Patrick Jane?", she chuckled, swallowing more wine.

"I give head to women, Teresa Lisbon", he beamed, "and that's different- women taste like the most wonderful kind of candy."

"To be honest here", she murmured, taking another large swig of red wine," men do, too. Semen isn't disgusting. It's a very potent aphrodisiac. And it's quite tasty."

Jane ate another piece of pineapple before he answered.

"Wait", he whispered, coming so close that she could feel his sweet breath against her lips, " 'til you tasted the seed of a man who had lots of fresh pineapple before."

She swatted his chest, but only lightly. And hell- she couldn't stop giggling like a schoolgirl. She turned her face away from his and took more wine. Possibly not a good idea.

He noticed. Agent Lisbon was getting extremely tipsy now, and the occasion was way too sweet to let it pass. She would tell him the truth. No matter what he asked. Time to play.

"Sooo, agent Lisbon", he drawled, putting his finger beneath her chin to make her look at him again, "you have a thing for semen, haven't you."

"That, Mr. Jane", she smiled, slurring considerably, "depends on the man providing it."

His spine tingled at the word "providing". Damn, he'd love to provide, everything she asked for.

He'd just push her a little more, than he'd stop, let her go.

His fingers were brushing over her chin.

"What do you like about it?", he asked.

"What's not to like?", she whispered, "it's balmy, sweet, hot, sexy. And yes, in most cases I like the taste. And the feel."

"What if it's very much?", he breathed, "what if it gets really messy? Runs unto your thighs. Spatters the sheets- your skin…"

Damn, he was getting really excited now. He rubbed his erection against the kitchen counter. Her lips were so close to his he could feel them even when he closed his eyes.

"I like messy", she drawled softly, making him groan when her tongue brushed over his lips, "the more come the better… and I love to feel it on my skin. Everywhere."

That did him in. Hadn't the counter been between them, things would have gotten out of hand pretty fast, but the stupid furniture separated them effectively, so he just framed her face and pressed his mouth to hers, thrusting his tongue inside without finesse. He felt a passion he didn't recognize, he hadn't felt like this in years, decades, lusting, hungering, longing so much he couldn't breathe. Darn, this breathing stuff was overrated anyway.

He broke the kiss on a desperate moan and stormed around the counter, grabbing her with both hands- he felt her sway slightly, and that cooled his head. She wasn't just tipsy, she was drunk- she lifted her face to his, but could hardly keep her eyes open. She was hiccupping softly. If he took advantage of the situation and seduced her now, he risked losing everything. She would hate him. And rightly so.

He groaned in frustration. He was so hard he could rend wood. This gentleman stuff sucked big time.

"You're pretty wasted, Lisbon", he whispered, stabilizing her with his arms, "I'll get you to bed, okay?"

"Oh, yes", she giggled, words so slurred now he could hardly understand her, "take me to bed, Jane…"

He winced and started to lead her to the bedroom, but she was clumsy in her current state and had serious problems staying upright, so he just picked her up with a curse and carried her to her bed. He put her down carefully, then took a blanket to tug her in.

She was already close to sleep. Her beautiful face was flushed, her hair tousled. She looked so desirable every fiber in his body hurt with want. And his sexy little team-leader obviously didn't tolerate alcohol too well. She hadn't had that much wine, maybe half a bottle, certainly not enough to get her this drunk. So she possibly didn't drink very often. Maybe she was afraid to turn out like her father- Jane was almost sure of it. Poor baby.

He looked at her, full of affection. She was completely passed out now.

He entered the bathroom and opened his fly, grabbed his rock hard erection none too gently. He took care of business briskly, throwing his free hand against the wall. He heard her voice from the bedroom- she was talking in her sleep.

Oh my god- she was moaning his name. He gritted his teeth and came like hell, his seed shooting against the wall in large, hot squirts. He thought about the things she'd said about a man's semen only minutes before and winced. He knew she'd been honest, revealing the most kinky details in her drunken oblivion. He couldn't stop thinking about what he knew now. What he wanted to do to her. What she wanted, and what he could very well give her.

He cleaned himself as good as possible, panting, cursing, trying to prevent himself from getting hard again. Hating the fact that he erupted like a damn volcano every time he came- nothing subtle about his ejaculations, that was for sure. But hey- if agent Lisbon liked messy…he shook his head and continued to clean up. When he was finished, he left her house immediately.

No need to push his luck- and hers.

Okay- everyone upright? You possibly don't feel like reviewing that one, do you? Okay, that's my fault, so I have no right to complain about it.

Everybody who reviews nonetheless: you will have a special place in my heart for eternity. Thank you so much for your encouragement.