Ok life has been severely hectic and I am so glad to have finally finished this chapter. I plan on trying to make my updates once a week instead of every few days, an almost impossible aspiration with how life is going at this moment lol, but I will do my best. Again thanks for the review Cryamurai. One of my weaknesses in writing is my descriptions are lacking and I always try my best and having awesome reviewers, like yourself, help me improve and I greatly appreciate it! Ok onward to this chapter!

Chapter four: Feelings?

Sesshomaru dropped me off at the clinic to a surprised Haru, who yelped in shock at my appearance. After Sesshomaru gently laid me down on a futon near the fireplace Haru assured him that I would be well taken care of and to not worry as she walked him to the door and swore once more I would be in safe hands as she shut it. She turned towards me and quickly got to work taking care of my wounds, tsking and shaking her head disapprovingly as she quietly worked.

In no time at all, Haru had tended to my wounds, gotten me dressed in a clean blue kimono, with white lilies embroidered on the hems and a silver obi, and was currently crushing herbs for my pain. She had informed me that I had a cracked fibula and was surprised that my healing ability had receded, preventing me from healing from my black eye. We had no clue as to why I wasn't healing like I had before so we just left the matter alone for the time being.

She walked over and handed me a glass filled with a nasty looking green fluid that bubbled gently. I looked at her unassuredly and she urged me to drink it with the promise of it helping with the pain. Begrudgingly I took the glass and downed it as quick as I could trying my hardest to keep from choking on the foul tasting substance.

Haru smiled comfortingly and took the glass from my hands and walked away, grimacing once more I turned to the left of the fireplace to look out the only window and watched in silence as the trees swayed in the cool breeze, I had gotten lucky to have somewhere warm to stay as the days got colder. If not for the Inu no Taisho's I would be out there surviving as best I could. I had no clue if my memory would return or not or if my family was alive, but my chances out there were not good, of that I was sure.

My mind began to wander to an image of Sesshomaru when we first met, and I had to admit he was handsome. I was surprised, I never really thought of his looks before now and I didn't understand why now I began to look at him a certain way, it made me curious.

And yet he was terrifying and he was vicious to those three women, even tho I was grateful for the help, they were only looking out for the best interest of the Inu no Taisho family and I could respect that, despite their methods.

My mind shifted to another thought and I remembered the gaze he gave me after I tugged on his hakamas, That thought made me pause, He looked at me with such rage and resentment, something I knew was aimed towards the woman who hung from his clasped hand and then his eyes suddenly softened, I felt as if he was trying to apologize thru his eyes. My heart fluttered and I couldn't explain why.

After he gave one last demand to obey him, he dropped,whom I believe was Yumi, turned towards me and knelt before me. I never expected this man, who showed such ruthlessness earlier, to show such kindness in the next moment as he completely ignored the injured woman and her two companions and tended to my face with such delicate care. The events of the day caught up with me and I couldn't help but feel sadness and confusion well up in me, why tend to a woman who caused such trouble?

I knew about the animosity and hate that was felt between humans and demons and I shouldn't have expected as much kindness and warmth from Lord Toga's staff as I had from him and his family, Lady Inukimi was indifferent towards me but grateful, and I wondered why they would allow me here if it would cause such discord.

Then I thought about the gentle way he carried me, as if I was a fragile flower that would wilt at a moments notice. I could feel his hard muscles ripple and shift under the soft silk of his kimono and tried to fight back the blush I knew was coming. Sure that I had failed, I buried my face in his chest in an attempt to hide my flushed face, only making me blush more as he gingerly tightened his grip on my person.

I had just started to feel the effects of the medicine when the door flew open and a guard carried one of the women, I believe her name was Nana, who had hurt me inside and laid her on the nearby futon by the door.

She looked horrible, blood spilled from her wounds in a slow stream and soft moans of pain escaped her lips. Haru gasped and rushed to the woman and immediately began to help tend her wounds, ordering the guard to hold pressure on one of the more serious wounds while she started to hurriedly take off her kimono.

That's when I noticed another woman who had joined in the attack and recognized her as the only one of the three who seemed more regretful for her part in the assault, Aya. Her eyes spoke volumes after the slap she gave me, they were full of regret and screamed at me for forgiveness. She was standing out of the way in a corner, wringing her hands in obvious nervousness. Her crimson eyes shifted uneasily between the guard, Haru, Nana, then they fell on me and she froze.

Fear and regret lay bare on her face as she locked eyes with me, I sent a gentle smile her way and patted an empty spot next to me.

Aya glanced at the guard, who had moved away from Nana after Haru had stitched the wound closed and now stood in the farthest corner of the room closest to the door. He was keeping a watchful eye on Aya, who hesitated a moment before sitting herself at my feet. Fear and unease rolled off her in waves as she kept jumping her eyes between me and the guard.

"Your name is Aya right?" I cleared my throat before speaking and watched as she jumped and her attention snapped to me.

"Yes" she replied quietly shifting restlessly.

"Aya, I just wanted to let you know that I forgive you" I smiled brightly.

Aya was taken aback, her mouth opened and closed in mute surprise for several moments before she managed to gather herself and reply "W-what?"

"I said, I forgive you" I repeated calmly.

"Why!?" was all she could manage to reply, shock and confusion lay evident on her face.

At first I didn't know how to answer her, I was very upset and hurt by what they had done. I felt a headache begin to form and a voice that seemed oh so familiar floated into my mind.

"Hate only breeds hate and revenge begets revenge, if we can instead share love, understanding, and forgiveness maybe this world will become a better place. And maybe, just maybe demons and humans will someday live in peace and harmony with one another" that voice made me realize and understand why I wanted to forgive them.

"Hate only breeds hate and revenge begets revenge, if we can share love, understanding, and forgiveness maybe this world will become a better place. And maybe, just maybe demons and humans can live in peace and harmony together. I want to live by this code, it's very difficult. I am hurt, angered, and fearful for what you three have done to me" I explained carefully.

"You really think our races will get along some day?" Aya asked looking into my eyes as her own began to fill with unshed tears.

"I want to believe that, I truly do" I shifted my leg to get more comfortable and winced, completely forgetting about my injury.

"I see" Aya was deep in thought as she answered.

Then the door opened and another soldier entered, looking at the guard standing in the corner and nodding he walked over to where Aya and myself sat.

"Aya you need to come with me" he stood at attention behind Aya, who was ripped from her thoughts.

"Alright"she turned to look up at him before moving to stand, brushing at her kimono to clean what little dust was on the ground off of her person.

She turned and bowed to me "I appreciate the forgiveness but I'm not worthy of such kindness,please get well soon and have a nice day" Aya bowed once more before allowing herself to be led out of the room by the soldier.

Flopping back onto the futon, I just laid there thinking about the conversation between the two of us and before I knew It I fell asleep, the exhaustion of the day finally consumed me.

I slowly opened my eyes and sat up, wiping at my eyes and removing the tears that fell from them. Looking around the darkened room, the fire in the hearth crackled quietly and sent gentle warmth into the room. Everyone was gone except one for one man,who sat next to her in a chair that normally sat by Haru's desk.

"How are you feeling?" Sesshomaru leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he clasped his hands in front of him.

"I'm not feeling any pain, Haru's bubbly goo was nasty but it's powerful stuff" I responded quietly.

"That is good" it was all he said before an awkward silence reared it's ugly head and hovered between the two of us.

"I think I had a memory" I broke the uncomfortable silence as I stared at the fire, entranced by the way the flames flickered and crackled.

I could feel his eyes on my back as I continued to stare at the fire for a few moments before my gaze turned to beautiful amber orbs. His eyes urged me to continue but he remained silent, respectful. I knew he was curious and wanted to know what was on my mind but was grateful for not prying into anything I wasn't comfortable with.

"I couldn't see their faces but I knew...It was my mother and father." he stayed silent once more, listening intently.

"I lived in a decent sized home, smaller than your massively beautiful estate but it showed that at least my father has some sort of title" I paused, not wanting to think about what happened next and holding back tears I knew I wanted, no needed, to shed. But I would prevail, I wanted to share what my dream had told me. Taking a deep breath to calm myself I spoke once more.

"Our estate had been attacked by a powerful group of demons and everything began to burn as they ravaged the building... I...I was with my mother when the attack happened. She... she went down first and" Sesshomaru placed a gentle hand on my shoulder to comfort me as I began to sob, and I took comfort in that sweet gesture. In that next moment I felt his figure slide beside me and he held me as I lost control.

I couldn't control the loud heart wrenching sobs that came out of my mouth, my heart hurt so much. My mother was gone and I would never see her again.

Sesshomaru held me close and after several minutes I began to calm down, my eyelids began to get heavy and I wanted to fall into sleep once more but I also wanted to continue telling him what happened. I gingerly pulled away from him with a sniff and furiously wiped my tears away.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me. I lost control" I sheepishly looked down towards the ground and refused to look up into his face. I felt his hand slid under my chin and he brought my face up to look into his eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you lost someone dear to you. It is quite understandable." His eyes were soft and tender as he looked at me and I felt myself melt before him and I felt a blush creep up.

"You are too kind My lord" I looked away in a sad attempt to hide my quickly growing blush.

"Sesshomaru" he muttered so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"I'm sorry?" I whipped my head towards him in utter surprise.

"You don't have to call me My lord, Sesshomaru will be fine" It was his turn to look away but I couldn't see his blush, he definitely hid his better but I could tell he was nervous, shy almost. It was a whole new side to him I had never seen before, it was cute.

"If that is what you wish" I smiled shyly, then he abruptly stood up startling me.

"Good night" He bowed then began to walk away.

"W-wait! Don't you want to know what else I remembered?" I stuttered as I threw and outstretched hand towards him.

"You can finish telling me tomorrow. You need your rest." He turned towards me and I saw that his face was now emotionless, neutral.

"Yes, yes of course. Good night My Lord" I lowered my hand and looked at my bed sadly.

"It's Sesshomaru" I looked up to barely catch a small smile break thru his emotionless facade before reverting back once again.

"Oh, right. Good night then Sesshomaru" I giggled softly as I laid down. Sesshomaru paused at the door and stared at me as if in thought before walking out and closing the door behind him.

Soon after the guard that had brought Nana in earlier returned and stood by the door at attention. I gave him a grateful smile for the protection before I turned my head away and stared out the window into the darkened sky, the calming glow of the moon shining thru and I felt myself fading into unconsciousness. The last thing in my mind before I succumbed to sleep was how quickly Sesshomaru's attitude and demeanor had changed before he left, leaving me confused and saddened.