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It was always the same scene…I was being stalked as I tried to hurry down the street. I could smell the dirt and vomit from the ally. Feeling eyes on me, I stupidly stopped and looked around. Matt, he would watch me from a distance, always ready to protect me. As the hands grabbed my arms, I knew I was wrong. His lust and desire turning my stomach…
I sat up, the light shining through the window blinded me. My face was hot and sticky, I rubbed my hands hard trying to pull myself out of the nightmare.
"Oh, thank god. Are you ok?" Bianca was kneeling on the floor, rubbing circles on my back.
"I'm fine."
I pushed the blankets away, looking confused as I noticed I was in my pajamas.
"I changed you," Bianca said. "I was so worried. Leah swore you were fine, just fainted, but I wasn't sure." Tears filled her eyes as spoke.
"Thanks, but really I'm fine. I did faint, and now I am pretty embarrassed."
My head throbbed and my wrist ached. I relaxed when I realized I could hide my right wrist, being my non dominate hand. I stumbled out of bed. Bianca holding on to me carefully as I made my way to the communal bathroom in the hallway…just across from my room. I was glad to have the extra support, but didn't need an audience in the bathroom.
"I'll be ok." I told her and pushed the door open. Bianca didn't follow.
I went to the mirror my eyes were the brightest yellow. Yellow as the setting sun blinding drivers as it reflects off shiny objects. I closed them wishing the yellow away, when I opened them again, they hadn't changed. I sucked in a deep breath before I splashed water on my face to remove the sweat. My wrist was purple from Aiden's hand. I looked down at the ragged finger prints encircling my small wrist. I ran my fingers over it, the anger still lingered in the connection. I pulled my hand away pulling my sleeve down to cover the awful mark. I quickly used the facilities before washing up again and leaving the bathroom. Bianca opened the door back to my room; I held the door frame as I noticed Aiden sitting on my bed.
"Katie, before you say anything, please let me apologize. I am so sorry."
"It's fine, but I need you to leave." I kept my eyes down not wanting to see him. It wasn't his fault. "I just need some time."
"I won't be far if you need anything." Aiden rushed past, the door groaned as I slammed it.
I crumpled up on my bed letting the tears over take me. Bianca gently smoothed my hair and rubbed my back as I cried out my fears and anger.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.
"Not really."
"If you do, you know I am here." She hugged me before leaving the room.
Bianca was good at reading me - knowing I needed to be alone. I curled into a ball and pulled the blankets over my head. I just wanted to forget the whole night…and not just last night. I was a freak, and I was afraid others would see through my normal façade.
"God, Leah," I whimpered awakened from sleep by her talking to someone in the room. I flipped my blankets back and glared at her.
"You should get up anyway," she snapped back.
I focused on the blonde statuesque woman with Leah, Rosalie from last night.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
"We just wanted to make sure you were feeling alright," Leah stated.
"I'm fine." A little nervous about concern.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Leah pressed.
"Not really." I threw my legs over the side of the bed. The room spun. I held the frame of the small bed tightly, waiting for my dizziness to subside.
"I know you don't believe me, but we can help." Leah said.
"I don't need any help. I'm fine." I said my eyes closed.
"Sweetie, you are definitely not fine. Good at pretending, though," Rosalie indicated.
"You don't know anything about me," I snapped.
Opening my eyes was a bad idea. My stomach rolled. I took long breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth forcing the bile down.
"You're right, but we would like to."
"Rosalie, I appreciate your concern, but I can't talk about it right now."
I raced to the trash can, vomiting. My throat burned as the acid pushed its way up. Both girls raced over to me.
"You can't touch me," I warned as more bile exited my mouth.
It took a few minutes, but my body calmed. I took the towel and bottle of water from Leah. I wiped my mouth, then rinsed it with the water, spitting into the trash can before gulping down the bottle.
"I appreciate your concern, but I really just need to time. I'll be fine." I said still sitting on the floor.
Rosalie and Leah nodded leaving me alone in the room. It was dark, dismal, I went back to bed and pulled my blankets around me. I stayed in bed the rest of the weekend, calling in sick to work. After fainting, no one objected. Leah and Bianca had come in to check on me on Sunday, but I convinced them to leave me alone. I just needed to absorb the pain, get through the nightmares and I would be back to normal. I knew the routine, it happened to me more than I wanted to admit. Fainting from someone touching me, it was embarrassing, and I would need to be more careful.
