STORY: My Violets, For Remembrance
CHAPTER: My Rain
DISCLAMER: I do NOT own 'Scrubs'
CHARACTERS: JD kinda sorta OC and Entire cast
SONG: Thrice's 'Meet you in the shallows'
DEDICATION: I dedicate this to Exes and Ohs 2, so that she wont be bored!
(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)
I hear the waves
crash far below,
the rocks are leaping for the sky,
they're
starving for the air,
for a bone to break, a dream to smash
apart,
but I don't care.
I stood in the shower turning the water all the way up. Creating my own personal sauna. I stood there under the steady stream of water and steam and pictured her curls on the pillow next to me hiding her face. She looked like a Muppet when she did that. I smiled but it was jerky and I quickly pulled it off of my face.
There was a deep sense of surrealism about everything. The water the soap, the fogged up mirror. I must have spent two hours in the bathroom. I dressed and warily touched the handle. I brought it back as if scalded. I knew as soon as I opened that door, the cold air would rush up to meet my pores and me would close and the cold would creep back in.
"What's so wrong with the cold? I love it, when I used to live in Michigan, The snow was beautiful. I thought you of all people would like the snow?" We turned into the apartment parking lot. She flipped the heater off, and then glanced at me giving me a warm smile.
"Why do you say that?" I ask getting her camera equiptment out of the back.
"I don't know, maybe because you always look for the good things in life? For some reason when I picture you with snow, I get the feeling you would be in awe. Maybe its just your innocence." She smiled, her eyes glittering in the afternoon sun.
"We live in California, There is no snow here, only coldness. I might be able to stand the coldness if there were snow. But there's not." I laughed, holding her camera up to her.
"Oh poor baby, I'll keep you warm." She mocked me but leant forward for a kiss before grabbing the camera and getting out of the warm car.
I rubbed my eyes and looked back into the mirror quickly then exited the warmth of the bathroom.
It looks deep enough
from here, I'm diving
this cliff has been well worn by
ignorance.
It looks deep enough from here, I'm diving
they
float face down they all look so content.
"Oh good Dawn, I was just about to forward all my water heating bills to your place. I wish you would have told me that you were going to wax, I know that takes you girls forever." The words were spoken with indifference; Dr. Cox didn't even take his eyes off the TV.
"Sorry…" There was an awkward pause. I shifted on my feet. "Look Dr. Cox you don't have to baby-sit me, I will be fine." Dr. Cox just nodded.
"Is that right Verra? Then why is your shirt on backwards and inside out?" How did he do that? He hadn't even looked at me yet. "Sit down, have a drink." The bottle of the expensive stuff sat next to the phone and an empty glass. I slowly walked up to the couch. I sat down slowly next to him. I took the bottle in shaking hands and filled the glass making a large triple.
I leaned back and looked at the TV. It was an Episode of Chicago Hope.
I downed the alcohol in two goes. I made my standard yucky face.
"You know Newbie, Alcohol doesn't treat you well if you disrespect it. Making those funny faces only make it taste like crap."
"You mean there is a way I can drink it that makes it taste like cool aid?" I said monotonously. He just rolled his eyes lent forward and refilled his and my glasses.
"Just try not to make the face. I guarantee it burns half as less." I took the proffered glass and eyed the amber liquid warily. To drink myself into oblivion would be…nice. I downed the amber fire and forced myself to hold back the 'yuckiya' face. To my surprise it worked. Well it still burned and tingled and tasted like the janitor's cleaning solution but it wasn't nearly as bad as the first…err second one.
Maybe the reason why it didn't burn was because it was my third one.
"You love appletinis too?" I was on the edge of my seat looking into her beautiful face.
"Are you kidding? I love everything apple. Its only fitting that appletinis are the most wonderful alcoholic beverage in the entire world." She was eyeing the appletini the bartender was currently making, like she had walked through the dessert and it would be her first drink in days.
She absentmindedly licked her lips and I nearly melted off my stool at the sight. Well melted is too graceful a word for what I did. I found out that night that it was possible to trip over your feet while you are sitting.
She laughed at my clumsiness, I blushed. Way to woo her on our first real date JD, my brain berated. She grabbed my arm in her merriment, and when she brought her hand back to me she tipped the martini all over the bar.
She just started laughing louder. I laughed as well. She is a light drinker like me I guess.
She turned those eyes on me, after apologizing to the couple next to us, and the bartender. Her smile was catching, and her eyes still danced with laughter.
I set the empty glass down loudly. And started to stand. Dr. Cox grabbed my arm and pulled me back to a sitting position.
"What were you thinking about?" He was looking at me, his eyes looked genuinely full of sympathy.
"I was thinking… about how I am never going to drink an appletini again." I looked back to the TV. Then lent forward and put my face in my hands. I held back every tear that threatened to fall. If anything I had learned in my years at the hospital, it was that you just don't cry in front of Dr. Cox.
"Tell me about it." My head shot around to look at him as if he had said the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard him say.
Dr. Cox had never actually initiated a deep conversation with me. I thought for a minute that I was still probably hallucinating. Or that Dr. Cox had drank a whole bottle of the expensive stuff while I was in the shower.
Then I thought of the question and my mind went blank. What had I just been thinking about? I really am losing it.
I don't know why I'm
even here.
Guess I'm afraid to be alone.
And down below I see
my crew they look okay
that can't be blood the water here
is
far too blue
"Hello Michelle Louise? Anyone home?"
"No. Look Dr. Cox I'm really tired, Can I go home now?" My tone was a little whinier than I had intended. I looked at him, at first he did look annoyed but then his eyes turned quickly to sympathy. I must really look like shit.
"There's the guest room." I stood up quickly when he mentioned it, and made my way over to the room I had stayed in with Danny many times before. I felt Dr. Cox's presence follow me. I stumbled in the hall, almost knocking a picture of Jack off the wall.
I must be more inebriated than I thought. I straightened picture frame and looked at the smiling Jordan push a laughing Jack on the swing. I bit my tongue and could taste the salty coppery blood. I felt a hand on my shoulder that seemed to ground me and pull me pack into the present.
His still hand allowed me to realize just how much I was shaking. I stretched my spine and took a deep breath. Trying to shake them off. But it did not work. Dr. Cox pushed gently on my shoulder, urging me into the bedroom. I got in and sat down on the guest bed.
I just sat there for a minute staring at nothing. Dr. Cox just stood there looking at me, he finally sighed.
"Shoes off Newbie." I snapped my attention back at him and ducked my head. I tore off my shoes and just lay back onto the bed bringing my knees up to my chin. I threw the decorative cover over me and pulled the pillow under my head.
"Get some rest."
"Yeah."
I heard the door close, He was probably as eager to be alone as I was. I felt like such a burden, and it made me nauseous. I really must have been tired because I wasn't conscious for long.
and gravity
seems
far away
but I can hear her call my name
it's so comforting to
know I'll never have to think again
(((((((((((asterisk)))))))))))
When I woke there was a commotion outside of the room. I didn't budge. I just lay there listening to what was unmistakably Carla Rip a new one, for some one.
Then in the midst of her shouting the door opened softly and slowly. It was so sudden I didn't have time to feign sleep.
It was Elliot. She came in and sat on the bed behind me. I knew it was too late to pretend I was asleep but I wasn't about to strike up conversation with her either.
But it didn't seem like she came here to talk as she climbed up behind me and wrapped her arms around me. I immediately began to shake again. But it was helping. Or at least it felt that way.
"You mean you and Elliot had 'relations'" I nodded raising my eyebrow to wait for her reaction. You can tell a lot a bout a girl when she finds out you still hang around your Ex. You can find out if she is the jealous type, the vindictive type, or the competitive type. She just sat back in her seat however and looked deep in thought.
"But you don't have feelings for her anymore right?" She looked into my eyes from her relaxed position. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had begun to hold in, and laughed.
"Oh god no." She smiled and shrugged.
"Good, cuz I was gonna say I hope I am more than enough women for you," she flung her leg over mine and I grabbed her knee in one of her most ticklish spots. She squirmed away laughing.
"I only have eyes for you." I waggled my eyebrows at her. She laughed louder.
"CORNY!" she snorted out.
I shot up out of the bed and ran my hands through my hair, looking at Elliot like she was the living dead.
"I…um… I just…" she slowly sat up, sorrow clearly written across her face.
"JD I…"
"Yeah…"
"Well if there's anything I can do…"
"Nah its cool…" I stood there for a minute just shifting uneasily, I motioned for the living room, looking back to her and hesitating, but then I just walked away.
It looks deep enough
from here, I'm diving
this cliff has been well worn by
ignorance.
It looks deep enough from here, I'm diving
we float
face down, and don't we look content?
"…No you listen to me, He was obviously in love with her, even though he only knew her for a couple of months, you don't just leave him alone! That was irresponsible." It was Carla standing over a very indignant and bored looking Dr. Cox. Turk was at the bar making himself a drink.
"What was?" I asked holding my arms to me; the hoody I had brought to work with me just didn't seem to keep the cold at bay. Every one spun around and or stopped what they were doing, Dr. Cox in mid sip, Turk in mid pour and Carla in mid finger wagging.
It was an awkward pause. I rolled my eyes. That seemed to snap Dr. Cox out of it.
"Newbie, did I spoon feed you that whiskey?" He said exasperated, as he held his glass to his face.
"…No…" I asked eyebrows raised.
"And did I ever leave you alone really unless you were naked in the shower or sleeping?"
"Its fine Carla, he was a good babysitter." I walked over to Turk and grabbed the bottle that he had just finished pouring himself an itsy bitsy amount or the amber liquid with, and filled my own glass. I downed it and did not make the 'yuckiya' face. Turk just stared at me as if I were a pod person.
"Dude." I humphed. "Look is some one else taking over now? Because I need to get home and call up her brother in Detroit." I walked over behind the couch and picked up my backpack.
Everyone just looked at me. I snapped my fingers.
"Hello, anyone?" Carla plopped down onto the couch, and Turk nodded.
"Yeah bro I got ya, your place huh?"
"Yeah huh?" I mocked him. No one seemed to be bothered at my attitude, which only made me scowl.
I followed him out not bothering to say bye, just a quick wave and then I was free.
It looks deep enough
from here, I'm diving
this cliff has been well worn by
ignorance.
It looks deep enough from here, I'm diving
we float
face down, and don't we all look so content?
It looks deep enough
from here
It looks deep enough from here
(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)(asterisk)
AN: I am a pirate, if yar done given me yer reveiwses, I'll be a pillaging and plunderin until I gets them.
