Jack - Chapter Four

Ianto had been at the Hub for over three months. The staff loved him, the restaurant was doing brilliantly, and Jack was thrilled with their growing friendship, even though he continued to long for something more. It was before opening on a Saturday night that Ianto received a call on his mobile. He was listening intently as he stepped toward the back to take the call. Jack saw him freeze, his eyes wide, then he hurried through the kitchen, still talking, and out into the back alley, whether for privacy or because he was upset, Jack wasn't sure.

When the Welshman didn't return after ten minutes, Jack followed his gut instinct and went to check on him. Something was wrong, he had sensed it from the moment he'd seen Ianto on the phone. Stepping into the alley, Jack found Ianto slumped against the wall, bent over at the waist with his hands on his knees. Jack thought Ianto might be crying, but as he slowly advanced, not wanting to startle Ianto, he saw that the man was taking slow deep breaths, as if trying not to break down.

"Ianto?" he asked quietly. "Are you all right?"

Ianto nodded brusquely, but it was obvious to Jack that he wasn't. He moved closer and laid a gentle hand on Ianto's shoulder, hoping to catch the man's eye.

"What's happened? You got a phone call and ran out. It can't be all right if you're out here this upset."

Ianto took a deep breath and pushed himself upright. The brief look of devastation that crossed his face made Jack wince; he wanted to pull the man into his arms and shield him from whatever bad news he'd received. Jack resisted; he and Ianto were close, but not that close.

"Tell me," he murmured. Ianto let his head fall back against the wall and looked up to the sky, avoiding Jack's eyes.

"I got a call from London. They've caught the men who…who broke into Torchwood One. Who shot her. Us." His voice was shaking, and this time Jack couldn't resist touching Ianto's arm and squeezing it in understanding.

"But that's a good thing, right?" he asked, and Ianto laughed nervously, running his other hand through his hair as he met Jack's concerned gaze.

"Yeah, it is, it's just…" He blew out a long breath. "I don't know what to feel. I'm surprised; I thought it would never happen, it's been so long. I suppose I'm relieved that they can't hurt anyone else. And I thought knowing they were caught would make some of the pain go away, but instead I still feel…I don't know. Empty. In shock."

"You just got the news," Jack pointed out. "Let it sink in."

"I'll have to testify at trial," Ianto continued. He was clearly moving into babble mode, which Jack had only experienced once after an extra drink or two. It was adorable when Ianto was tipsy; it was heartbreaking to see him so upset. "I was the only witness. The police took my statement in hospital, sent a sketch artist to get a description only hours after I got out of surgery. Now they've got the bastards, and I'm going to have to sit there in front of them, watching their faces, and tell an entire room how they shot me, how they shot Lisa, how she bled out because they wouldn't let me go to her while they held me down and cleaned out the safe, how they left us there and ran and she died in my arms—oh God!"

He doubled over again, his words crashing out so fast he was starting to hyperventilate. Jack had seen it before, when he'd been in the army and soldiers were forced to relive or remember something horrific. He pulled Ianto up straight and forced the man to look into his eyes. "Deep breaths, Ianto. From your belly, with me."

Ianto shook his head and tried to move away, out of Jack's grasp. He looked like a terrified animal about to run. Placing one hand behind Ianto's head and holding him in place, Jack brought their foreheads together.

"Look at me, focus on me." He put a finger on Ianto's lips and the man's eyes went wide at the touch. "It's all right. Breathe through your nose with me. I'm going to count, and we'll do it together."

Again the man shook his head in panic, but Jack murmured soft words and breathed with him, one hand still held loosely against Ianto's lips to encourage him to breathe through his nose, the other rubbing the back of his head and neck with gentle strokes, trying to release the tension. Slowly Ianto's breathing settled down and the panic left his eyes. He never wavered from watching Jack's face, and Jack found the intense moment almost too much to bear. He was so close to the man he could smell Ianto's aftershave. The feeling of dark curls beneath his left hand was brilliant, and as he finally took his finger from Ianto's lips, he stared at them, wanting more than anything to claim them and kiss the man's heartbreak away.

When he raised his eyes to Ianto's, he was surprised to find the other man staring at his mouth as well. Ianto's hand came up to Jack's face and he ran his finger along Jack's lips before meeting Jack's eyes, and Jack was startled by the desire he saw there as Ianto curled his hand behind Jack's neck. Before he could question it, however, Ianto had closed the distance between them and placed his lips to Jack's, a short, gentle kiss that immediately sent sparks all the way to Jack's toes.

Ianto pulled back, as if waiting for Jack's reaction, but Jack was too stunned to do anything but stare. Was Ianto telling him something with that kiss? Was he was attracted to Jack or was he simply thanking him, albeit in a very unusual way? Ianto dropped his arm and started to step away, blue eyes bright with apprehension, but Jack reached for his hand and stopped him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice hoarse. Ianto nodded, avoiding his eyes. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Ianto whispered. "Are you?" The implied meaning was obvious, and Jack stepped forward so that they were once again close enough to touch.

"I'm…" he started, but he couldn't answer. What would he say? That he was ecstatic? That he'd wanted to kiss Ianto for months? That he was falling in love with him right then and there? He couldn't say any of it, so instead he leaned forward for another tentative kiss.

Only Ianto was apparently not having it. He wrapped his hands around Jack's waist and pulled them flush together, his tongue seeking entrance to Jack's mouth. Jack melted into the man's arms as the kiss became more passionate, almost frantic. Ianto's hands moved up and down Jack's back, eliciting a moan from Jack as they skirted his arse. He ran his own hands across Ianto's chest, then back up and through the man's hair before pressing Ianto against the wall and placing kisses and nips along his jaw. Ianto murmured his name, then pulled Jack's face to his for a fervent kiss that had Jack gasping for breath.

Jack wasn't sure how far it might have gone right there in the alley. He wanted Ianto Jones like he'd wanted very few people, and the heady feeling of discovery was almost enough to overrule common sense. Unfortunately, the back door crashed open as someone tossed a bag of rubbish into the dumpster. Jack and Ianto sprang apart, still breathing heavily. Ianto's lips were red and his hair mussed, and Jack imagined he probably looked the same. He grinned at Ianto as he straightened his chef's coat and finger-combed his hair. Yet when Ianto met his eyes, there was no matching grin, and when the man spoke, Jack was shocked at his words.

"I'm sorry," Ianto murmured. "I shouldn't have done that." He turned and moved away, though Jack was certain he saw a look of longing when Ianto glanced over his shoulder at him. "Thank you for your help," he said, then cleared his voice when it came out hoarse. "I'm sorry I took advantage of it." He hurried inside before Jack could respond.

Taken advantage of it? If anything, Jack felt like he had taken advantage of Ianto in a vulnerable moment. Yet Ianto had been the one to kiss him first, and to respond so passionately to Jack's second kiss. Was he displacing his feelings onto Jack at that moment, thinking of his dead girlfriend after getting the call that her killers had been found? Or was he genuinely attracted to and interested in Jack?

Taking several deep breaths to calm his racing heart, Jack decided he would not make assumptions. He would find Ianto after work and ask him directly why he had apologized for one of the best kisses of Jack's life. Hopefully there would be another, because Jack wanted it more than ever now. And if not, Jack hoped that they could still be friends, no matter how strongly he felt about wanting to kiss Ianto Jones again.


Ianto managed to avoid Jack for the rest of the evening, and by the time Jack was ready to leave, Ianto had left without even saying good night. Jack wondered if the other man was still upset about the phone call he'd received, or if he was upset about what had happened in the alley. Either way, Jack was worried, so he sent a text, and Ianto answered with a quick but curt I'm fine, thank you. See you at work. I.

It did little to settle Jack's mind, and he tossed and turned all night, replaying the kiss from the alley in his mind and hoping that Ianto was not angry about it.

Sunday was not as busy as Saturday, but every time Jack tried to approach Ianto the next day, the Welshman refused to meet his eyes and made an excuse to leave. By the end of the night Jack was feeling tetchy with the kitchen staff, and it was Owen who had apparently been selected to approach him about it before he left.

"Boyfriend mad at you already?" Owen asked as he waited on Jack to finish his cleanup.

"What boyfriend?" Jack grumbled, packing his knives with less care than usual. Why was this bothering him so much? They had kissed, nothing more. Yes, he wanted to be with Ianto, but if the other man wasn't interested, Jack would get over it, wouldn't he?

"Come on, Jack, I know you were snogging in the alley yesterday," said Owen, and Jack glanced up in surprise. "Martha said something—said Ianto came rushing back in yesterday looking flustered, you looking confused, and both of you looking thoroughly mussed up. Are you not all you brag about in the snogging department?"

Instead of making a snarky comment about demonstrating for Owen as he normally would, Jack shook his head instead. "You're a real bastard sometimes," he said.

"And you're a right prat sometimes. Is that why he's not talking to you?"

"How do you know I'm not the one who's avoiding him?"

"Because you're the one following him around the restaurant with puppy dog eyes," said Owen. He sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Look, I'm sorry. I know you're friends with the guy. So what happened?"

Jack frowned. "I'm not really sure. He had a phone call yesterday that upset him. One minute I was talking him through it, the next we were snogging like teenagers against the wall." He felt warm thinking about it. God, he wanted more.

"Do you think he's regretting it?" Owen asked uncertainly.

"He kissed me first," said Jack. "He moved it forward. It was amazing, Owen. But then he apologized and left."

"He apologized?" said Owen. "What the hell for? Doesn't he know you're into blokes too?"

"Of course he does," Jack replied. "He said he felt like he'd taken advantage of the situation, but if anyone did, it was me." He ran a hand through his hair. "I feel awful. I should have stopped him, but god, I wanted to keep going. I wanted more."

"If he started it, he must have wanted to," Owen said. "You should talk to him."

"He won't even look at me!" Jack exclaimed. "He comes up with something to do every time I try to talk to him."

"Look, he's still writing up the night in that journal of his. Go out there and get him to talk to you. Don't let him walk away this time. You're obviously miserable, and from the way Martha and Tosh are talking, so is he."

"He is?" asked Jack.

"Beats the hell out of me, he's got too good a poker face," shrugged Owen. "I'm going to the Dockside with Diane. I don't except to see you there unless Jones is on your arm, got it?"

"Yes, sir," Jack murmured, slightly surprised at Owen's support.

Owen paused at the back door. "Good luck, Jack. I can tell you really like him."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks Owen." Jack stared at the door as it closed, thinking back to the amazing kiss he'd had out there the day before and wondering how to approach Ianto, what to say. Part of that problem was solved when he turned and found Ianto standing in the entry to the kitchen, leaning against the wall, waistcoat unbuttoned and hands in his pockets. Jack thought about stuttering something stupid, but settled for staring instead; he seemed to do a lot of that when it came to Ianto Jones.

"So you like me?" Ianto asked quietly, still not meeting Jack's eyes.

Jack took a breath and decided to be honest. He raised his chin defiantly. "Yeah, I do."

Ianto was scuffing the floor of the kitchen with his toe, like a school kid embarrassed in front of his crush. "About yesterday, in the back…" He started, and finally met Jack's eyes. Jack kept hold of them but did not move closer, hoping Ianto would make the next move and close the distance between them since he had been the one to stride off the day before.

"Hell of a first kiss," Jack stated, and Ianto's eyes went wide as he unconsciously licked his lips.

"So not a one off, then?" he asked.

"I really hope not," Jack replied, being completely honest once more. "But you tell me. Your friendship is more important. If you're not comfortable, it'll never happen again, I promise."

Ianto stared at him, as if thinking through his answer carefully. He glanced away, then back at Jack with a subtle, almost sly smile. "That'd be a damn shame," he replied.

Jack's heart about leapt into his throat. "It really would," he said, trying to keep his voice casual and not hopeful.

"I wasn't sure about it, you know," Ianto said. "You flirt with everyone."

"I want you," Jack said. "I've wanted you for a long time."

"Wanted what, exactly?" asked Ianto, stepping closer, and Jack saw the nerves behind the casual confidence the man was projecting. So he took a step forward as well, wanting so badly to show this man that he was interested without mucking it up.

"I wanted to keep going yesterday, for one," Jack murmured. "I wanted to run my hands under your shirt, my tongue across your neck, my fingers over your—"

"God, Jack," Ianto gasped, closing the remaining distance between them with one quick step and grabbing Jack by the collar of his chef's jacket for a bruising kiss. Jack felt the same electricity as he had the day before, only it was a hundred times stronger, and he moaned into Ianto's mouth as the man's tongue did wicked but wonderful things to his lips and teeth, then his ear and his neck…

"So," gasped Jack as his hips bucked reflexively against Ianto's. "Does this mean I didn't scare you off after all?"

Ianto didn't stop the trail of kisses he was leaving along Jack's jawline. "Nope. I'm terrified."

"You're—" Jack stopped and pushed back gently to look into Ianto's eyes. "Wait, really?"

Ianto cocked his head with a sheepish grin. "I've never been with a man before. I've never kissed a man, never really looked at one until I met you. Terrified is one of many things I'm feeling right now."

"Shit, Ianto," Jack said, shaking his head. "I don't want to do that to you, mess with your head, make things worse just because I'm—"

"Jack." Ianto brought his hand up to Jack's face, his thumb brushing teasingly over Jack's lips. "Yes, I'm scared, I'm confused, but I'm also so attracted to you that I can hardly think straight, and I know this is what I want more than anything right now."

"Oh god," Jack moaned, resting his hands on Ianto's hips and letting them caress strong muscles through the fabric of Ianto's trousers. "You have no idea how much I want this too."

Ianto glanced down between them, raised an eyebrow, and brought his lips right next to Jack's as their hips met in a slow grind. "I have some idea," he whispered.

"Let me show you," Jack murmured, kissing him once more before he could answer.

"Right here, right now?" Ianto teased when Jack released him for an answer.

"Come home with me," Jack said. "Tonight."

Another kiss stifled Ianto's answer, until he stepped back, looking positively dazed. "Yes," he said, trailing his index finger along Jack's jaw with a look of awe. "Yes. Are you done back here?"

"Let me make sure everything is set. I'll meet you up front."

Jack didn't want to let him go, but after another breathtaking kiss, he forced himself to stop and turned Ianto out of the kitchen. They both sighed in frustration, and Jack was seriously tempted to find the nearest horizontal surface and shag Ianto right there. But he had wanted this for so long that he knew he had to wait, to make it as special as possible for them both.

And when Ianto glanced over his shoulder, smiled, and winked, Jack knew it would be worth it.


Author's Note:

I love writing the Big Kiss! I hope you enjoyed seeing them come together. Thanks to Tamaar for looking this over, and thanks for all the notes on the last chapter. I should write more cliffhangers.