Title: Let her go
Characters: Barry Allen, Caitlin Snow
Summary: When Caitlin becomes Killer Frost, she loses her memories and Barry tries to make her remember.
Beta Reader: none
A/N: Writing it was so emotional. I don't know the exact Killer Frost, so I introduced her as I imagined it. If you catch some grammar mistakes, let me know. Please forgive me that's short. And that my intention was to break your hearts :D
Let her go
"Cait? Please, say something. Caitlin…"
But it wasn't Caitlin anymore. Although not the one he had used to know. A friendly, caring, warm woman with beautiful, long hair and infinite smile was gone. The person at which Barry was looking was nothing like his old friend. She was wearing a form fitting corset, hugging all her curves that were once hidden under loose fitting blouses and dress pants. She had blue lips and curly blond hair. Her eyes had changed the most. Once deep pools of light brown were now stone cold, icy blue.
Barry clenched involuntarily. Unfortunately, not only her appearance had changed. He was more worried about her personality. First, what was the most incredible, adorable Dr. Snow had become a murderous Killer Frost - a vampiric being who craved for heat. Second, she had lost all of her memories. Her ordinary, human life had completely gone into oblivion.
"I'm hungry," she conceded slowly, weighing every word. "Get me out of here!"
She put her body on the glass separating them. Barry instinctively stepped back. He knew what she meant. She needed food in the form of human life. More specifically, she wanted to kill him. If she wasn't trapped in a place where her powers were not working, she would throw at him quickly and without hesitation.
"Caitlin, I'm sure you're still there," he replied in a firm but warm voice. "Deep down, you're still the person I used to know. You're my Caitlin."
She snorted, her eyes flashed dangerously.
"Unlike you I remember everything. Every moment, every smile and hug. Every tears and quarrels," he decided to continue, ignoring her angry attitude. He had to get her back. "You know, we sang together. I meet a girl, crazy for me," he hummed. "You were so drunk and cute at the same time. And then I watched you fall asleep cause you wanted me to stay."
She stared at him blankly, but didn't say anything. She had to guess that she won't manage to escape. She had to peacefully accept her fate, at least temporarily, so she listened in silent.
"You believed in me," Barry tried to keep calm and not let the voice to break down. He watched Caitlin carefully. "You were supporting me, telling that everything will be fine. Often you were angry at me, mostly because you cared. Nobody ever took care of me like you."
With desperation he sought in her eyes, facial expression, posture something that testified to the fact that Caitlin, which he had knew, was still there. He wanted to be sure that she remembers, she loves, she fights.
He didn't find anything.
Her indifferent gaze was too painful. Consequently Barry needed to turn around and take a deep breath. It still wasn't clear to him that he lost her. Actually he had lost her a long time ago, he just couldn't accept that. He had an naive hope that he was the one who was able to save her.
"Are you done?" Caitlin snarled impatiently behind his back. "Get over the fact that the person you are talking to is definitely dead."
Barry lurched. Her words were like a whip without any restraint lashing his back. Trying to soothe, he turned to her. His eyes met hers. He imagined that instead of icy indifference he sees there warmth and love.
"Okay, I get it," he asserted, his voice was morose, however still full of hope. "I just need you to know something I have never told you. You need to know that I love you and I can't lose you, Cait. Not you."
And then, when the words had been already told, something changed. Caitlin's eyes… Barry couldn't exactly define it, but they had became… different. They slightly widened as the light in them faded a little, and a beautiful azure broke through it.
"I'll bring you back, no matter what. I'll always fight. For you. For us."
Her hand, having a power to kill a man only by touch, rested on the glass. Barry put his hand on his side of the cold glass, exactly in the same place. He held his breath. Although he couldn't feel her presence, he imagined her old, gentle touch. Just as she had used to touch him, when she had caught him by the hand or when she often had put a hand on his shoulder.
He waited. But was it possible to get something more?
From her mouth let out a quiet sigh.
"Barry," she whispered.
His heart was filled with warmth, when suddenly the glass began to freeze. He took back his hand quickly, seeing that cracks appeared. The glass was frozen, Barry momentarily lost visual contact with Caitlin. Then the glass broke.
He felt a gust of cold air. He lost his breath and stormed flew backward, hitting his back against the wall. The chill slipped through his sweater. If he had a costume, he would feel warmer. He shivered from the cold. He felt pain wandering over his body, he needed to fiercely fight for every breath.
With his misty eyes he saw scattered glass and the frozen wall. Suddenly Caitlin appeared. Her hands were surrounded by a cold aura when she knelt beside him. He knew that she was able to kill him and that he won't give advice to defend. He was, however, extremely quiet. Chill mastered his whole body. He felt as if he was drowning in the icy water.
Barry subconsciously knew that Caitlin wouldn't hurt him.
She put her hand next to his as if she wanted to touch him, and then she refrained herself. Barry tried to focus on her face, her eyes, which was difficult. He wanted to sleep, he was slowly drifting away.
On Caitlin's cheek ran down a lonely tear.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I have never wanted to hurt you. That's why I need to go. Don't try to save me, Barry. Let me go."
"No, Caitlin… stay."
But she was gone. She disappeared into the icy darkness. As if she never existed. As if she was only a vague memory, the cold cooling his body, stinging pain in the heart. Before he fall asleep, he suddenly but fully determined had thought that he would never let her go.
