Not to be used loosely

Chapter 4

A/N: I do not own Bleach and its characters.

Except for the soft sound of Third Eye Blind's 'How's it gonna be' streaming from Rukia's room, the apartment was fairly quiet in this warm afternoon. Rukia was in the kitchen spooning droplets of chocolate chip cookie batter onto a baking sheet.

Ichigo was at class and she always liked to do some baking when he's not around. He's always such a nervous wreck whenever she went near the oven.

The oven dinged, signaling that it was pre-heated and ready for baking. Rukia was putting the baking sheet into the oven when the doorbell rang. She looked up from the oven and wondered who it could be.

Did Ichigo forget his keys? she thought and looked at the clock. It was only 3.30. He wouldn't be home till 4.30. And the baka doesn't know how to ring the bell to save his life.

She shut the oven door as the bell rang again. "Just a minute!" she hollered before licking the chocolate batter off her fingers. Orihime, it suddenly came to her mind. She cringed. They hadn't talked since the party a week ago. She had been trying to think of what to say to the poor girl when she met her. Rukia felt really bad that she had kind of given Inoue a false hope by agreeing to speak to Ichigo about it. Maybe she could've warned Inoue if she had brought the matter up much sooner to Ichigo, giving them both more time to react. But Rukia only passed the message two hours before the party.

"I don't want to spring it on him out of the blues. So could you please ask him if he would go out with me and maybe give him a little heads up that I might talk to him during the party?" Inoue asked as the girls walked out of the World of Chappy with two shopping bags full of Chappy merchandise each. Three of the bags were for Rukia while the other one was for Yuzu. Inoue only accompanied her petite friend to the mall.

Rukia bit her lip. She remembered how Ichigo had given her the silent treatment for two weeks the last time she pestered him to take Inoue to the movies. But that was at least four years ago. His feelings for Inoue must've changed, right? And she's different now. She's more mature now that she had actually started dating… right? Rukia thought. "Okay, Orihime. I'll talk to Ichigo."

Inoue instantly dropped the shopping bags and clapped her hands excitedly before she hugged Rukia… more like almost suffocated the petite girl with her voluptuous chest, actually. Ah… not that much more mature, Rukia thought, gasping for breath.

"Oh, thank you, Rukia-san!" She let go of the girl whose face had almost turned into the colour of her eyes and picked up the bags to start walking again. "Do you think he will like me now?"

Rukia shrugged, walking alongside her. "Maybe. You'll never know till you find out."

Urgh… sometimes ignorance is bliss, Rukia quietly told herself as she walked across the living room to open the door. It wasn't Inoue. It was definitely not anyone she would expect to pay her a visit either. It was someone she dreaded to see after what happened last week, even more than seeing Inoue.

"Tatsuki," Rukia greeted as she pulled the door back for Ichigo's childhood friend to enter the apartment. She's here to scream at me about letting her best friend get hurt, was the first thing on her mind.

"Hey," the spiky-haired girl gave her a lazy smile as she dragged her feet into Rukia's living room and dropped onto the couch.

Rukia was still stunned. She blinked once and shut the door before going to sit down next to her former classmate. "Tatsuki," she began nervously. She knew she had to do this sooner or later. It's better to get it done sooner to reduce the possible damage. "About Orihime…"

Tatsuki waved a hand at her and chuckled. "I know what happened at the party. But I'm not here to talk about that. Hime should've seen it coming. What makes her think Ichigo would change after all these years?"

The Shinigami's eyes widened, almost popping out of her face. Is this the same protective best friend of Inoue's? "You're not mad?" she asked.

"Why would I be mad? I knew it would happen. I was against her telling you to ask Ichigo in the first place. But the girl had become so stubborn and determined after her break-up with that Hadashi guy," Tatsuki told her, crossing her legs on the couch.

Back in kitchen, the oven dinged again. The cookies were done. "Excuse me. I've got to take the cookies out," Rukia said as she got up from the couch. She was still a little dazed after what she just heard. Had Inoue really changed so much? "I've got cold ocha. Would you like some?" she offered.

"Sure," Tatsuki replied.

As she took the cookies out from the oven to place them on a wire rack, Rukia stole a glance at her guest and saw that she was staring into space. She wondered what was bothering the kendoka if it wasn't Inoue's case. Tatsuki never confided in Rukia when she had problems. Right now, she looked quite troubled.

Rukia went back to the living room with two glasses of the iced tea. "If you're not here to chide me about Orihime, are you here to see Ichigo? He will only be back in an hour," she said, offering Tatsuki the glass.

"I'm not here to see him, Rukia."

"Oh? Then you're here to talk to me?" Rukia asked, sipping her tea.

Tatsuki also drank her tea and then placed the glass on the coffee table. The corner of her lips curled up a bit but Rukia could tell it wasn't a happy smile.

"You know I'm seeing someone, right?" Tatsuki began.

Rukia raised her brows. This was something new. "You are?"

Tatsuki chuckled again, this time it actually sounded melancholic. "He didn't even tell you about me," she mumbled.

"Who are you talking about, Tatsuki?" Rukia's eyes narrowed. She was never really close to Tatsuki so she wouldn't know who she was talking about. But is this guy supposed to tell Rukia anything? Does she even know him?

"Rukia, Renji and I have been secretly seeing each other for almost a year," Tatsuki said, turning her body to sit facing Rukia.

The shorter girl gasped and brought a hand up to cover her mouth. She was more amused than shocked. That stupid redheaded childhood friend of hers actually knew how to ask a girl out? She couldn't help the snicker that escaped her.

"Why are you laughing?" Tatsuki looked at her questioningly.

At that, Rukia keeled over on the couch, laughing her head off.

Tatsuki didn't know what to make of that reaction. Actually, she didn't know what kind of reaction she was expecting from Rukia before she came over to see her.

"I'm sorry, Tatsuki," Rukia said, still trying to stop laughing. "I'm really, really sorry." She took a deep breath before explaining herself, a huge grin still plastered on her face. "In all the years I've known Renji, he had always been too cowardly to express his feelings to any girl he liked. So asking anyone out would be the last thing I expect that guy could ever do. He's such a baby with this kind of things."

Tatsuki grimaced and tilted her head while studying the woman who was still snickering away in front of her. "I am really dating a moron, aren't I?" she asked, incredulously.

Rukia straightened up and began to pull a more serious face. "Okay, I'm sorry for laughing. And I'm sorry but I have to say yes, you are dating a moron. But what has he done to justify that, if I dare ask?"

Tatsuki sighed. "He never asked anyone out because he used to like you.."

Rukia almost choked at that. "What?"

"See? You didn't know, did you?" Tatsuki smirked. "Yup, he used to like you. A lot. But he never dared to tell you until after your almost-execution. Then, he discovered it was too late."

"But I saw the way she looked at Ichigo at the senkaimon and that's when I knew I was too late," Renji said, fiddling with the hem of Tatsuki's sports shorts. The girl was sitting on his lap on her study chair. It was during one of those times when Renji dropped by the World of the Living. Their relationship was still very new at the time and they were trying to find out about each other's past to understand the other better.

"Do you regret not telling her before she met Ichigo?" Tatsuki asked, her arms around his neck.

Renji chuckled. "I used to beat myself over it for a while. But I figured since she's happy with Ichigo, I should be happy for her too. I am, after all, her childhood friend. There's no changing that. And I know Taichou would kill me if he heard this but, I think Rukia treats me like a brother more than she does him."

Tatsuki gave him a half-hearted smile. She wasn't sure how she should feel about that. Granted, Rukia was Renji's past. But what if…

"I'm over her, Tatsuki. Don't worry about it," he smirked, playfully flicking her forehead. "I'm with you now," he said softly in her ear before nuzzling her neck.

Rukia's stunned expression was soon replaced with a gentle smile. She decided to ignore the fact that Renji thought she had feelings for Ichigo. Because she didn't. "Actually, I kind of suspected that. But I never wanted him to confess to me. I was afraid it would've made everything so weird between us," she said, subconsciously nodding while reminiscing about some of the times Renji was trying to impress her. "However," she continued. "I am really glad that he found you and… wait, does my brother know about his visits here to see you?"

Tatsuki shook her head. "I don't think so. I don't think anyone knows about us. Why?"

Rukia shrugged. "I was just wondering about how Soul Society would react to a Shinigami dating a human," she replied, her eyes downcast and a tinge of pink rose on her cheeks.

Tatsuki laughed. "Yeah, I wonder too but I'd rather you and Ichigo make the headlines first. Since he's the saviour of both worlds and you are the noble Kuchiki princess, I'm sure no one would dare to object."

"What?" Rukia exclaimed, the reddish hues on her face darkening. "Ichigo and I are not together. And… hey, I thought you're here to talk to me about you and Renji!"

Despite being put in a spot, the petite girl was actually quite relieved that she and Tatsuki were able to talk comfortably with each other. They used to have this animosity between them. But then again, maybe it was her imagination. Tatsuki was never really one to socialise a lot. In a way, she now could see that Tatsuki was kind of like both Ichigo and Renji. She made a mental note to have all four of them go out together one day to bicker their hearts out. Just to hang out. Definitely not a double date. There's nothing between her and Ichigo. Nope.

She watched Tatsuki as the long-legged girl picked on her own nails over her folded calves. Once again, she looked troubled. Rukia was certain that it must have been something Renji had done.

"Renji and I made a pact. That every time he goes on a long mission, we would sort of break up. There never was any certainty in our relationship, anyway. We'd see each other whenever he could come over here. We're both free to go out with other people. Only, we never did. I never did, that is. And I don't think he's seen anyone else, either," Tatsuki paused to drink her tea.

Rukia looked at her curiously. "What made you decide on making that pact?"

Tatsuki smirked. "It's a Shinigami thing to expect to die in a battle, isn't it? Or something like that. He just wanted us to break all emotional ties in case he doesn't come back," she chuckled, suddenly realising how it all didn't quite make much sense anymore. "It's mostly for me, I guess."

"You're both aware that whether or not you're still together, you'd still grieve his death, right?" Rukia asked.

Tatsuki nodded and then chuckled. "Yeah, it was a silly deal. Even though we agreed on keeping our relationship a secret, I didn't expect him not to tell you about it. I mean, you're practically his best friend."

"Have you told Ichigo about it?"

"No," Tatsuki replied.

"Tatsuki, Renji and I are like you and Ichigo. We may be close but that doesn't mean we tell each other everything. We haven't really hung out since I got adopted into the clan and now that I'm living here, we see each other even less," Rukia explained. "Is he on a mission now?" She was rarely informed of what went on in other divisions now that she spent most of her time in the World of the Living.

"Yeah, he's on an indefinite one in Hueco Mundo," Tatsuki replied. "Rukia, I've never done this before because it's kind of a hidden clause in the pact that I would not ask about him when he's away. But, could you help me to find out? He's been gone for a month. I'm getting a bit worried because he's never been gone so long. I know he's probably already back in Soul Society and something's holding him up from coming over. Or that he's seeing someone else. But I just want to know if he's okay."

Rukia smirked. "Are you in love with him?"

"What?" Tatsuki gaped.

"Are you in love with him?" Rukia repeated. It was so damn obvious but the answer wasn't so much for her as it was for Tatsuki herself.

The human girl contemplated for a while. Despite the pact they made about having no strings attached, she found herself thinking about Renji every time he was away and anticipating his return. She didn't even have the time to look at another guy in her dojo or the university. She never wanted to probe into those hidden feelings she had because of the nature of their relationship but it seemed to be getting more and more difficult for her to deny that she had already given her heart to Renji.

"I think I am, Rukia."

Rukia grinned and picked up her soul pager.


"So what did Tatsuki want earlier? Don't tell me she came here to have a girl talk with you," Ichigo asked, popping another piece of Rukia's chocolate chip cookies into his mouth. He was actually enjoying them. They were surprisingly good.

The two occupants of the apartment were sitting in the back patio, enjoying the cool breeze of the night after dinner. Ichigo came back from class just as Tatsuki was leaving for her evening coaching session. The two childhood friends managed to exchange a few words before she went off.

It was Rukia's turn to prepare dinner tonight. They had both decided that weekday meals would be on her while the weekend ones would be on Ichigo. It was a practical arrangement since Ichigo had to go to classes or work as an intern at the Ishida Hospital on weekdays. Rukia had improved a lot on her cooking, thanks to Yuzu who wanted to make sure two of her favourite people would never starve to death in case she couldn't send food over to them.

Instead of watching a movie like they'd always do, Ichigo and Rukia thought they'd have a relaxing chat tonight. Ichigo had been so busy lately, they hadn't really had the time to sit down and talk. He also wanted to finish the chocolate chip cookies so she would bake another batch tomorrow.

"It was girl talk," Rukia replied, taking a sip from her juice box. She still made Ichigo put the straw in for her even though she already knew how.

Ichigo raised a brow. "Seriously? Is she seeing someone?" he chuckled.

"As a matter of fact, she is," Rukia replied. She knew both Tatsuki and Renji would've probably said 'was' but to her, they were definitely still together, stupid nonsensical pact be damned.

"Renji?" he guessed.

Rukia's jaw dropped. "How the hell did you know?"

Ichigo smirked. "He asked me if he could ask her out quite some time ago. I said it was none of my business," he shrugged. "Didn't think he would have the guts to do it. I also didn't think Tatsuki would've accepted. That girl's practically a guy." He laughed and grimaced at the thought of the girl he grew up with being affectionate with a guy.

Rukia backhanded his shoulder, eliciting a yelp.

"Hey! What the hell?"

"She's in love with him, Ichigo," Rukia informed without looking at him.

Ichigo almost choked on his cookie. "Is that girl even capable of loving someone?"

This time, Rukia punched him on the same spot and glared at him before looking straight up ahead. Unlike how they used to hang out on the roof of the Kurosaki Clinic, they couldn't really see the stars as they were sitting under a huge awning. But some of the houses around them were still lit and the streetlights were bright enough for them to be able to see the park behind their apartment.

"Don't be a dickhead, Ichigo. She's your childhood friend. And yes, it's true. She loves him," Rukia said, the corner of her lips tilted.

Ichigo snorted, "Does she even know the definition of love?"

Rukia quirked an eyebrow at him. "She's thinking about him and concerned about his safety. She's missing him when he's on a mission. Of course, she knows what love is. She's experiencing it herself."

Ichigo crossed his arms over his chest and pondered on what Rukia had just said before he took a glance at her. She appeared thoughtful as well, staring at the empty park in front of them. "So is that what it is? That simple? Thinking about someone. Being concerned about them. Missing them," he reiterated.

Rukia pursed her lips and stared right back at him. She couldn't tell if they were still discussing Renji and Tatsuki. She could feel things getting a little complicated between her and her orange-haired best friend. As of late, Ichigo seemed distant and distracted. Maybe he really did have a love interest somewhere in the university that he didn't know what to do about. Knowing him and his inability to express himself when it came to things like this, he was probably having problems trying to kick-start his social life.

She suddenly felt guilty about crashing into his world, turning him into a Shinigami and dumping him with the responsibility to protect the World of the Living from hollows. It would be difficult for him to start dating when he had another life he couldn't share with his girlfriend.

The fukutaichou averted her violet gaze from Ichigo and heaved a sigh. She wanted him to lead a normal life despite his obligations as a substitute Soul Reaper. At the same time, being the one accountable for turning his life upside-down, Rukia wanted to continue being his nakama, fighting by his side to make sure his secret life did not interfere with his human life. That was the main reason she had asked to be posted to the World of the Living.

"I'm not sure, Ichigo. But do let me know when you find out. You know you can trust me to support you, right?"

Ichigo had no idea what she was talking about but he smirked at the thought of their confidence in each other.


I know, a bit too much on the dialogue side in the first part. Why Renji and Tatsuki's relationship, you asked? I don't know. I just thought maybe Rukia needs to have a few case studies before she finally discovers her own.

Thanks for the reviews! You, my readers, are what keep me writing.