"Chapter 4: Baron's First Battle!"

By: Von Stupor

Baron Von Stupor spent the rest of the night in the town's pokécenter as there was no local motel. Come daytime, he left for the Pewter City gym.

He entered via the building's front door, into the battling arena. As he did, he heard a frighteningly familiar voice echo throughout the room.

"Welcome to the Pewter City gym!" it called menacingly.

From around the corner, a man appeared. It was the same man from the previous night.

"You!" he cried, instantly recognizing Von Stupor. "Who do you think you are, showing your face around here again?"

"My… face? You can see it?" Von Stupor uttered excitedly.

"You know what I mean."

Thinking for a moment, Von Stupor then said, "Ewww! I only want a pokémon league battle, not… ugh!"

"What are you babbling about?"

"Guh, Ulyaoth forbid you should mention that again!"

"Whatever. So you really expect me to battle you after the stunt you pulled last night?"

"I speak no lies! 'Twas not me!"

"You were standing right there!"

"Prove it."

"Wh…! You—"

"I thought not. Battle me!"

"You know what? I can tell by your attitude you're not even a serious pokémon trainer. You're an excuse to trainers alike! Fine then, I'll battle you. I, Brock, of the Pewter City gym will not fail to the likes of you! This official battle will be one-on-one; first to lose a pokémon loses the match!"

"Yay! OKAY! I only have one pokémon, after all."

"Hmph. Better hope it's good, 'cause here we go! Geodude, I choose you!"

Brock threw his pokéball into the arena and when it hit the ground, Geodude popped out and gave a battle cry.

"Geodude!" it cried fiercely.

"I'll choose Packrat!" cried Von Stupor, and threw his respective pokéball into the arena.

It hit the ground and out popped Packrat.

"Pack, packrat?" he said upon tumbling out. He then turned to Von Stupor and began screaming. "Packrat packrat rat rat packrat pack— uh, I mean, what the hell is your problem!"

"Now, Geodude, Tackle attack!" ordered Brock.

"Packrat, dodge the geodude!" Von Stupor ordered, ignoring Packrat's angry screeching.

Packrat turned and saw Geodude barreling towards him. Panicked, he leapt to the side, resulting in a miss.

"Packrat, counter quickly with a Tackle attack!"

Packrat looked at Von Stupor like he was crazy.

"What the… Stupor, it's a damn rock!" he ranted. "Like a Tackle attack from my soft and fleshy body is gonna do anything to hurt it! Use your head, you dunce!"

"A… a talking pokémon?" Brock asked, astounded.

"…And I'm not a freaking pokémon!"

While Packrat stalls, I can think of what moves he can use… thought Von Stupor to himself. What can he possibly do to a rock? That is it!

"Packrat, use Provoke!" he commanded.

"Heh, something I can do!" agreed Packrat.

"Geodude, Rock Throw!" Brock ordered.

Geodude grabbed a nearby rock and hurled it at Packrat. Packrat easily stepped aside.

"Hey big, slow, and stupid, don't tell me that's the best you got!" Packrat laughed.

"Geo?" said the geodude prior to narrowing its eyes. It then angrily charged at Packrat.

"Now Packrat, use Torment!"

The geodude soared underneath Packrat as he leapt into the air. Packrat landed on top of the geodude and started drumming its head with his front paws.

"Neener, neener!" he teased. "Can't catch me, huh? Maybe if you didn't move at the speed of erosion you'd stand a chance, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Geoooooooo!" screamed Geodude, and swung its hands up at Packrat.

Packrat jumped off behind it as it wound up slapping the top of its head.

"Wah hah!" he continued, wiping tears from his eyes. "I can't believe you fell for that! You're about dumber than a rock, you know that? Ha ha ha, sure says a lot about you! Waaaaaa hah hah hah hah hah hah!"

Geodude began crying and pounded the ground with its fists as hard as it could, beginning to grow a bright light.

"No! Geodude, don't!" screamed Brock.

A great explosion then erupted from Geodude. The force sent Packrat tumbling halfway across the arena. He wound up on his back and laid there, eyes closed. Geodude lay unconscious in the arena.

"Geodude self-destructed…" Brock uttered, astonished. "But at least your pokémon didn't resist the blast either, so you still didn't win. Close, but no BOULDERBADGE."

"Wouldn't count on that, Spikezilla…" mumbled Packrat as he shakily stood up. "And I'm not a pokémon, stupid…"

"What…? I can't believe it! That means…"

"Yeah, we won. Fork over the BOULDERBADGE so we can go."

"Ah, whatever. Just take the stupid thing and never come back to Pewter City again. I'm done here." Brock pouted, defeated, and tossed a BOULDERBADGE towards Packrat. He returned Geodude to its pokéball and walked away.

"We have our first badge!" cheered Von Stupor.

"No way dude, this is yours! You're the one that gave the command to tease that big pile of ugly. You earned it," said Packrat with a sincere look of approval.

"Eeee," Von Stupor uttered gleefully and clipped it to the inside of his cope. He then drew a smiley face in the dirt of the gym and left, ready to earn his next badge.