I first heard an annoying beeping sound that came once every two seconds. I wished it would just shut up and let me sleep, but then there was an explosion of firey pain in my gut, something that really woke me up.
I opened my eyes and saw white. For a few seconds I thought I had died and was about to go into heaven. Then I remembered that there wasn't supposed to be any kind of pain in heaven, so I guessed I wasn't dead or dieing, though it sure as hell felt like it And god was I in pain.
Warped voices sounding like whale songs sorrounded me, probably trying to console me, but it didn't work. At. All. Oh god oh god oh god...it hurt like hell. Let everything end already. Let the agony end. Suddenly I really wanted Sirius there with me, to try and stop the damned pain.
"S'rus...S'rus..."
It took me a minute to realize that I was the one talking. Thank God for that. I could at least talk a little, even if it was a little slurred. Okay, a lot slurred. I heard somebody talking about 'needing food', and the words nearly made me hurl all over again. Finally, the pain won the fight and I blacked out again.
The next time I woke up, I saw Sirius sleeping in a chair next to my bed. Wires were running themselves into my arms and into machines that monitered my heartbeat and breathing levels. (I was taking Muggle Studies, so I knew these things. I always knew that the class would somehow be useful.)
Dumbledore suddenly slipt into the room, and he slightly lit up when he saw I was awake. He was wearing Muggle clothing, something that looked strange for him to be wearing, and he quickly strode over to the side of the bed and asked softly, "How are you feeling, Remus?"
"...Pr'sr...m'kay..."
"You're in St. Cathrines Hospital; it's of the Muggle world."
"...M'gle?"
"Yes. St. Mungo's could do nothing to help you, so I decided to move you to a Muggle hospital, as they have machines. Do you want to know what your diagnosis is?"
"Y's, Pr'sr..."
Dumbledore took in a shuddery breath, as if forever haunted by the diagnosis, and then he continued softly, "You've been diagnosed with anerexia, Remus. You weight is ninety-seven pounds, which is about sixty pounds less then it should be for a Muggle for your age. But since you have a...condition, you should weigh even more then that."
He came a bit closer to me, and then said, "Remus, this is serious. According to the Muggle doctors, your heart stopped beating for five minutes, and your stomach might as well not exist. Why would you do this to yourself, Remus?"
And then it was like a dam had broken inside of me. I tried my best to talk normally, but I could tell that I was slurring a lot. Plus, it didn't help that Muggle drugs were pumping themselves into my body that kept me painless in some mysterious way.
I told him about my parents and how my father had tried to kill me after finding out about my 'disease'. I told him about the agonizing transformations and how I could smell everyone in Hogsmeade and how I wanted to turn them all into the freak I was. I told him about letting Peter cheat off me in Potions and pranking Severus and James' secret crush on Evans and how I was in love with Sirius, but that was probably the drugs talking.
When I spoke (or tried to speak clearly) Dumbledore didn't interrupt me even once to say anything. He occasionally nodded at a few things that I said. Midway he sat down on the beds edge, probably because I had been talking for hours and hours.
I guess I really had been talking for hours at end, because soon I found that my voice was hoarse and husky, like I had lost it. No doctors came into the room, something I was grateful for, because there was no way that I would be stopping for anything. Pretty soon I really had lost my voice and I could no longer pour out all of my shit onto Dumbledore. I literally couldn't talk, and the only sound that came out of my mouth was a scratchy, sort of whining sound.
"Thank you for sharing this all with me, Remus," Dumbledore said, seeing that I couldn't talk anymore. There was a long stretch of silence between us, and I saw that he looked so sad, so alone there on the bed. I wanted to say something, but my lips soundlessly mouthed the words I was going to say. I managed to shakily push myself up so I was sitting up in a slightly painful way, and then I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could, the only other way I knew of trying to comfort him.
