AN: So I may be rushing the end a bit, but I feel the conflict has been dragged out for far too long on the show. Sorry if this and the next chapter feel a bit rushed.
And as always, thank you so much for reading!
Chapter Four: Day Three, Part One
Kate felt the day beginning well before dawn. She screwed her eyes closed trying unsuccessfully to keep the tears at bay. It surprised her that her body seemed to be mourning this day before her mind could properly register it. Her subconscious must be aware of the significance as she had spent the night dreaming of grave stones and damp grass.
She laid in bed for several moments before deciding that a nice run outside might help her more than crying her eyes out. Kate was never one to take the pain lying down - she rather be active.
As she quietly changed clothes and pulled her worn tennis shoes on in the dark cabin, she thought about Castle still asleep in the room across. Being several hours before he would typically wake, she thought briefly about leaving a note but figured she would be back by then anyways.
Grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge for a quick drink, she realized that either decision was pointless as the writer stood outside holding a coffee mug and staring at the woods behind the cabin.
As she considered letting him know she was going out, Kate caught a glimmer of something in her partner's features that made her stop. Hiding in the dark shadow of the kitchen, she studied Castle's rigid form out in the darkness as if she was standing on the other side of the two-way mirror in the precinct.
He wasn't holding himself with the kind of ease she normally attributed to writer's ego or a famous person's indifference. His shoulders slightly slumped, he grasped the coffee mug with both hands as if holding on to a life line. As he bent his head down, she ducked farther away from the small light the early sunrise poured into the kitchen. Staring at the worn expression on his face, Kate saw for a split second one single trail of water track down the side of Castle's face.
Quickly she backed out of the kitchen and quietly out the front door. Ignoring the careful training that had been instilled in her from the academy, Kate ran at full speed immediately until she was far away from the cabin, Castle, and the solitary tear.
Kate ran for miles before the lack of a proper warm up froze her muscles in pain. Gripping her side, she bit down on her lip to stop the cries that would certainly be for far more than a simple muscle strain.
As she slowed down to a brisk walk, Kate's mind continued to race through reasons for Castle's emotion. Alexis' soon departure for college came up at the top of the list, followed by childish thoughts of a nightmare or frustration at even being there.
Her emotional part of mind pleaded with it's rational counterpart to not think of the obvious reason for his pain. The reason that would get him up before dawn; the reason that would make him come to a secluded cabin with a women whose presence he could barely stand lately. The reason that would drive him to almost willingly take a bullet meant for her. The reason that resonated in her memories.
Today was the day I almost lost my life, thought Kate, stopping to rest against a tree near the road. But for Castle, it was the day he almost lost the woman he loved. And she never really came back to him.
Kate knew that he had been pulling away for months. She knew he was hurting but never approached it before today. The normal Kate would have pushed back every time he said a sarcastic comment meant to hurt her. The normal Kate wouldn't have had to ask Lanie what her next move should be. The normal Kate wouldn't have lied to him in the first place. She wanted so desperately to be normal again.
She knew she was making progress, her therapist reminded after almost every session. She tried to make it a point to at least acknowledge when things upset her instead of bottling up every emotion. She had been working on it internally for months before confiding in Lanie. She was trying to be honest with herself before she could be honest for him. And as she ran away from the one person who felt as much pain as she did on that day, she realized for the first real time that she was still lying to herself as much as she was Castle.
But the lies are going to stop today, she thought as she started to stand from her spot by the tree.
As Kate turned to head back towards the cabin, she raced to find a way to fix this situation that was given to them. She couldn't take back the last year, she couldn't undo the scar that blazed on her chest but she could help him. She had to at least try.
A slight mist had already started by the time Kate had the cabin in sight. Years of watching the late spring storms taught her that this rain was just a beginning of a larger storm coming quickly. Her body soaked by the time she walked through the door, she quickly grabbed the matches on the fireplace to begin heating up the room. As the embers slowly heated, her body froze as she registered the bag neatly packed by the front door.
"You're leaving." whispered Kate as he walked into view.
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