Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the story alerts and favorites! I am so humbled! Well, this has gone through lots of rewrites, hard to get inside their heads, but I think I'm good with it. Next chapter is almost done too, so should see it up soon! Enjoy.
I don't own it, but I still have fun with it.
'Welcome back, Castle'?
Had he heard her correctly? Does that mean that we're cool, that she wants me to continue to work with her? He knew he was being more than optimistic based on the warm 'welcome' he had just received from Esposito.
"I'll see you back at the precinct," Beckett said to Esposito and then turned, walking towards the elevator banks across the atrium.
Should I follow her? I mean, she didn't say she'd see me at the precinct, so maybe not?
Castle watched, still kneeling on the ground, as she walked briskly away from them, her hair cascading softly past her shoulders, swaying side to side paralleling the movement of her hips. Yes, he definitely could get used to this new Beckett-do.
Castle stood, eyes set on her figure, and was startled as Esposito's head came into his line of vision a few feet away.
Esposito smiled slightly. He debated briefly whether he should continue his conversation with Castle and divulge the fact that Beckett and Demming were no longer together, but he quickly decided against it. Nah, let him figure it out. In Esposito's opinion, these two needed to work on their communication skills. That, and just 'do it' already.
"Later, bro." His smile then evaporated as he made the universal "I'm watching you" sign with his index and middle finger in a 'V' pointed first at his own eyes, and then at Castle, at the same time mumbling a few words in Spanish for good measure.
Castle gulped as Esposito turned, whistling as he walked to the stairwell.
Castle jumped a little as he felt his pocket vibrate again. He fished the phone out as he stood, following Kate's path. He opened the phone to find 2 missed text messages. Both from Gina. Damn.
"Are we still on for lunch? Call me when you get this," read the first. He scrolled down.
"So, not answering your messages today, or just the ones from me? Early lunch? Y/N/don't care?"
Great, she's pissed. What else is new? Why are women so infuriating?
Kate approached the elevators. She knew he wouldn't be far behind and she also knew that they still needed to talk. Did she mean what she said: 'Welcome back, Castle'? Welcome back to what? Welcome back to New York? To work at the precinct? To my life? Pushing the down button, she smirked as the little voice in her head that always reminded her of Lanie after a few hits from a helium balloon quipped, "Let's be honest, Kate, aren't work and your life one-in-the-same the last few months?" So true.
She supposed it would be kind of nice to have Castle back at the precinct, if only to make her work-life hybrid more bearable. But would it be worth it to have him there and be forced to have the inevitable conversations about him and Gina or whatever chick-of-the-week he was pursuing? He never could keep his mouth shut when it came to women he was interested in or sleeping with: Ellie Munroe, Bachelorette #3, his Deep Fried Twinkie ex-wife… And another thing, would he have called her had they not bumped into each other today? The repressed anger of the last 4 months was beginning to nip at her brain again.
"Beckett?"
She heard his voice behind her, but didn't turn.
"What, Castle?" she snapped. Deep breaths.
Yep, definitely pissed. He took a step closer, so he stood directly behind her. She swore she could feel his breath on her hair, and it smelled of cinnamon.
"I wanted to see if it was okay if I stopped by the precinct later this afternoon, and now that I'm back in town… if we can continue our, eh, 'arrangement' at work," his voice then trailed off as he said, "And… well, I missed you." You have no idea how much.
She had reached to push the elevator call button again, but her hand stopped in mid-air and fell to her side as she heard spoken what her heart had been feeling all these months. She closed her eyes, willing herself to regain control of her emotions for what seemed like the hundredth time today.
How does he always manage to do this? I'm mad as hell at him one minute and then he goes and says something like that and makes me have all these… feelings! Ugh, how infuriating is that! She turned to face him. From the tone of his voice, she had expected him to have his eyes diverted, maybe looking at the floor. Instead, he stared directly into her, gaze unwavering.
God, his eyes.
He had never looked at her so intently before. There was something almost primal within them that suddenly caused Kate to become very aware of two things: One- her breathing, which had quickened, and, two- the fact that she was wearing lacy thong underwear. As she deepened her stare, she also saw hurt and confusion in his eyes, all too familiar emotions that she herself had worn when Gina had shown up at the precinct. Except, unlike her, Castle wasn't trying to hide them.
Kate was not a vengeful person and she didn't want to hurt him. All she wanted was for this 'thing' between them to be normal again. Whatever that meant. All these emotions that Castle engendered in her- frustration, longing, happiness, confusion, regret, not to mention this apparent physical effect he had on her- she felt as if they were crashing down on her one after the other, and it was almost too much to take, especially today. On the other hand, she couldn't avoid him forever. He was back and asking her permission to work with her again, and by extension be an integral part of her life. Kate knew she had to make a decision, if for no other reason than she could finally feel in control again.
Plus, seeing him now, she knew she missed him too. She missed working with him on cases, missed his humor, hell, even missed his stupid staring marathons when she did her paperwork. The prospect of a replay of the last few months without him caused her to have a lump in her throat. Could she work with him in a professional capacity, be okay with that, and nothing more if that's what he wanted? Of course I can. I've done it until now. Although judging by the new heat that swirled inside of her, she knew it could be a challenge.
"Before I answer you, I need to ask you something," she said, finally breaking his gaze.
"Anything," he answered softly.
What if she said 'no'?
Until this moment he had not really thought about what his life would look like without her a part of it in some way. Castle was suddenly very thirsty as this thought threatened to send him into a panic attack. He ached to touch her in some way, to show her how much he had really thought about her and how important she had become to him.
"Why did you stop bringing me coffee?"
Castle blinked. That's her question? Of course, it was more than the coffee she was asking about, he knew that. He racked his brain. Had she really noticed that he stopped bringing her coffee? It was true, ever since the beginning of their partnership, he almost always brought her coffee first thing in the morning. But then there was Tom Demming. There had been that particular morning last spring when he had shown up at the bullpen, only to find that Demming had now taken over the responsibility of bringing her first morning cup, among other things. He remembered that it had stung, a lot, seeing her sipping coffee and laughing with him. But Castle didn't think she had noticed, let alone cared, when he stopped bringing it. Why would she?
"Um, well, I guess because Demming and you had gotten together and I thought it wasn't my place if he was going to bring you coffee, him being your boyfriend and all. Funny, I didn't think you noticed," he paused briefly, and then continued as a river of emotion flowed from his lips, "And so you know, same goes for why I didn't contact you this summer. It's wasn't because I don't care about you, quite the opposite in fact."
Kate felt her breath hitch as her chest tightened. She considered his answer. What did he mean by 'care about you'? Of course she knew he cared for her, just as she did for him. They had become friends, after all. She immediately tried to dismiss the other connotation those words might possess. After all, he's with Gina, right?
And Demming? Wow. She had not expected him to be so upfront and just say it like that. Sure, she had sensed Castle was a little jealous of him on a professional level when Tom worked with her on those cases. She also knew that it was a bit awkward for Castle to see them working together knowing that they were dating, but that Castle would admit that he was trying not to overstep, she was taken aback.
"Oh," was all she could manage. Another thought crossed her mind. He still thinks I'm with Demming.
The elevator dinged its arrival. They both got on, standing next to each other facing the doors. They were alone.
Okay, so kind of a tease at the end, didn't mean for it to be. This and the next chapter were originally combined, but it was too long, so I split it here. So don't get any ideas, they're just talking... for now. Please review, it makes me happy and helps get the creative juices going! -KB
