I disclaim Prince of Tennis. It's not my property.

I own the plot of this fic, and any characer that may appear that's not from the original manga.

Warnings: Yaoi (japanese concept for men having sex). Slight angst and ooc-ness. That's about it.

A/n: Now that I have your attention, I would like to make something clear. This has been annoying me for quite some time. In the world of Boys Love manga, there are two genres - Shounen-ai and Yaoi. A lot of people seem to believe that these two are the same, but they're not. Shounen-ai is a generally innocent genre, where they never go further than kissing, and possibly slight touching, but those scenes are usually censored. In some shounen-ai mangas, they don't kiss or touch each other at all, but the message that the boys like each other comes through, usually from giving each other shy glances or such. A good example of shounen-ai is Gakuen Heaven.

Yaoi, on the hand, is a much more graphic version of Shounen-ai, where they have, or at least think about having sex, even though those scenes sometimes are slightly censored. "Papa to kiss in the dark" and "Close the last door" are pretty good examples, even though none of them are very graphic. There are other, much more graphic yaoi series out there, but I won't tell you about them, cuz I'm not going to be responsible for screwing with young people's innocent minds.(lol!! – Ender, the beta) (Then again, this is an M-rated fic...)

Got it? Shounen-ai is K-rated, while yaoi is T-and M-rated.

Now, let's (finally) begin!

Chapter four.

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Ryoma groaned as the sun hurt his already stinging eyes. It had taken him several hours to fall asleep, even though he went to bed so early last night. After very few hours of proper sleep, he now had to go to school, where he would definitely, sooner or later, meet Fuji. The boy he had unwillingly confessed to, after Fuji had misunderstood everything and tried to make Ryoma date Sakuno. God, Ryoma blushed at the mere memory. And the way he had told him! He had basically screamed out his affection to Fuji.

Maybe he should skip school. That way, he wouldn't have to deal with the humiliation of seeing Fuji. But if he didn't come to school, it would be as if he was running away, which he totally wasn't!

But he really, really did not want to see Fuji! And today was Friday, which meant that he had tennis practice for two whole hours after school. Next week they were going to play against the Senzu academy. He really shouldn't skip. Tezuka would kill him. Or possibly make him run countless laps around the court.

"Ryoma!" His mother knocked on the door. Ryoma sat up, feeling dizzy and a bit queasy from the lack of sleep.

"What?" He shouted back and got up from bed, scratching his head absentmindedly.

"You're going to be late again. It's already seven thirty! Would you like me to give you a ride?"

Ryoma sighed and glanced at himself in the mirror. He looked tired, pale and his face seemed a bit puffy.

"...Yeah. I'll be right down. Thanks."

He could hear his mother walk away, and when he was certain she couldn't hear him, he groaned deeply and brought his fists to his head, where he gripped his hair and pulled until it hurt. This was all so screwed up!

"Fuck this..." he whispered and pulled on his school uniform with angry motions. He grabbed his bag, ran to the bathroom, washed his face and ran downstairs where his mother waited for him with a sandwich. With a small, tired smile, he took it and put it in his mouth before crouching to put on his shoes. When he was ready, he followed his mother out to the yard where their car awaited. He chewed frequently on the sandwich, even though he didn't taste anything. His mouth felt dry.

As they went down the streets, Ryoma stared out the window, sighing occasionally. Everything was so gray. Was it always this gray?

"Ryoma?" He gave a small flinch and turned to his mother who was watching him with a concerned frown. "Are you okay?"

"Watch the road, Mom", Ryoma said, and waited a few seconds before speaking again. "Yeah. I'm fine."

He wasn't fine. His heart ached more than after a hundred laps around the tennis courts. As soon as Fuji's face came into his mind, he had to shut his eyes and force himself not to think about the older boy. And it was so hard. It was hard not to think about him; not to think about what could've been if the evening had played out the way Ryoma had hoped. Hard not to start crying right there in the fucking car - he would be damned if his mother ever saw him crying. He stopped crying in front of others when he was four.

His mother didn't say anything more, but Ryoma could feel that she was still concerned about him. He didn't want to look at her. Because the woman was so damn good at reading him.

"Have a nice day, dear", she said as Ryoma stepped out of the car, avoiding her gaze. He nodded silently and started walking away from the vehicle. His mother didn't drive away for another ten seconds or so, as if the woman wanted to make sure Ryoma wouldn't faint on his way to the school building. Ryoma glared at the school, as if it was it's fault. The building looked uglier than normal, and it was with dread that Ryoma entered the school yard to jog to the door that would lead him to the freshmen's corridors. No Fuji in sight. Ryoma didn't know if he was relieved or just really, really sad. The pain in his chest didn't go away.

As Ryoma walked up to the lockers, he noticed Ryuuzaki-san talking to some other girls. She didn't look happy, but obviously tried to hide her sadness behind a big smile. As if Ryoma wasn't in enough pain, ache was added to his chest as he thought about how he must've hurt the poor girl the other night. He should apologize. Even though it certainly wasn't his fault. Damn Fuji.

"Oi, Ryoma!" Horio shouted, revealing Ryoma's presence to the entire floor and threw an arm around Ryoma's stiff shoulder. Ryuuzaki-san turned around at the sound and gave Ryoma a wide-eyed look. Then she turned away and hurriedly ran into the classroom. Ryoma mentally groaned. Why couldn't just things go his way? He glared at Horio, who looked innocently confused. "What?"

"Let go of me", Ryoma muttered and put his shoes on the shelf. Horio did as he was told, but didn't seem to mind Ryoma's grumpy mood. This was, after all, how Ryoma usually behaved. The annoying brown haired boy started talking about how he was complimented for his tennis skills by some woman who worked for a tennis magazine. Ryoma couldn't care less.

"Class is starting", Ryoma said and walked into the room with the still chattering Horio behind him. Ryuuzaki-san, who usually was the first one to greet him, was staring out of the window with stiff shoulders. Ryoma sighed and decided that this wasn't the best time to apologize to her, so he sat down by his desk and took out his pen and his note book. So far, the day had sucked, and he doubted that it would get any better.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Ah. Finally! Lunch!" Horio exclaimed and started chomping on his beef. Ryoma looked at his classmate for a few seconds before lowering his gaze to his own food. It didn't look very edible to him. He wasn't hungry, although, his stomach tried to tell him otherwise by lurching and growling. Horio obviously noticed the noise. He gave Ryoma a confused frown.

"Aren't you gonna eat, Ryoma?" Ryoma scowled slightly and turned his face away.

"I'm not hungry", As if in protest, a big growl emitted from his tummy, causing a slight blush of embarrassment to appear on Ryoma's cheeks. Horio quirked an eyebrow and turned back to his own food.

"Yeah, obviously."

Ryoma sighed and shut everything out like he usually did whenever he needed to think, even though he really didn't want to think right now. He hadn't seen Fuji all day, probably because Ryoma stayed inside at recess and refused to look out the window. The surface of his desk was safer. He was afraid of what he would do if he so much as caught a glimpse of Fuji. What would he do? Break down and cry? Start shouting about what an ass he was? Run away? Or possibly, try and beat him into a pulp for causing Ryoma such pain?

If only... God damnit. If only Fuji hadn't asked him out on that damn double date, he wouldn't have to feel like this. He could've tried to ignore it and simply force himself not to love... not to like Fuji. Everything was ruined. He wouldn't be able to even speak to Fuji again, let alone look at the boy.

"What's the matter with you today?" Horio asked, after finishing his meal in two minutes. "You look so down, man. Do you have love troubles?" Horio sniggered and wiggled his eyebrows. Ryoma frowned at the other boy. Seriously, sometimes he wished Horio would just shut the hell up. The boy always said the wrong things and always did the wrong things and he was always so damn loud.

"No", Ryoma replied shortly and stood up. "I'm going back to homeroom. See you later." He grabbed his tray and turned away from Horio only to freeze all of his movements; a group of seniors walked into the room. Ryoma watched, as if the world faded into slow motion, as Fuji walked into the room, talking to some other boy that Ryoma didn't know. Swallowing, Ryoma turned away from the sight and tried to breathe normally as he went to leave the tray. The feeling of slow motion wouldn't go away. The panic started to rise. He needed to get out of there before Fuji saw him.

So, trying to jog to the table where the students were to leave the trays, Ryoma tried to constantly hide behind some other student to keep Fuji from seeing him. When he finally reached the table, left the tray and was about to exit the dining hall, almost crying in relief, it was all shattered.

"Oooi! Ryomaaa! Wait for me!" Horio shouted with all his might, causing almost every student in the room to turn their heads and look at Ryoma and Horio, who joined him with a stupid grin on his face. In utter horror, Ryoma watched, once again in slow motion, as Fuji turned his head to look at him. Ryoma was too shocked to turn away. Their eyes met, and during those few seconds of terror and panic and shame, Ryoma noticed something in Fuji's gaze. Those blue eyes were open and the look on Fuji's face was serious and...

FUCK.

Why was he still standing there?! Run, damnit! What the hell was he waiting for?

"Ryoma? Ryoma!"

Horio called after him as Ryoma dashed through the corridor to their homeroom. As he arrived at the homeroom door, he passed it and continued to walk until he reached the restrooms, where he locked himself in. With a dry sob, Ryoma put his hands in front of his face, as if to hide it's scrunched up state of despair, and slid down the wall. Everything was so fucked up. Everything was so ugly and everything hurt. It was as if he was trapped inside a nightmare. It was a nightmare of shame and fear. Why did it have to be like this?!

The look on Fuji's face..! It had been so serious. Not exactly a loving face. Fuji had looked at him as if Ryoma was a child who had done something bad. Well, it wasn't his fucking fault! It was Fuji's fault for being too hot, damnit! Ryoma fisted his hair and pulled until it hurt. He needed to calm down, so on shaky legs, he stood up and glanced at himself in the mirror. He looked sad. His eyes weren't as energetic as they usually were and they were dull. He was pale. Traces of salty tears that had made small paths down Ryoma's cheeks were still visible. He wiped them away with an annoyed huff.

Class had probably already started and it was the last one. After that, he would have to go to tennis practice and meet his doom. Ryoma bit his lip. He had to skip practice. There was no other way. There was no way he could spend two hours with Fuji now. Hell no. He had to skip.

But... The match against Senzu was in just a few days! He couldn't skip! He was singles two, damnit! Then again, if Ryoma didn't show up for practice, Fuji would probably get his position. No harm done, right? But Ryoma really, really wanted to play! If he didn't show up for practice, what would everyone think of him - the Prince of Tennis? Ryoma snorted. That title fit Fuji better, that damn genius. Ryoma had never been able to beat Fuji in tennis. Then again, he had never played against him, either.

Ryoma finally left the restroom and went to class, where he ignored all the weird looks he received from the students and the small glare his teacher sent him. He just walked to his seat and sat down silently before casting a bored glance out the window. The tennis courts looked so inviting. He wanted to play. He wanted to practice and go to the match and win. But he didn't want to meet Fuji.

English class. Ryoma sighed. He didn't understand why he even had to take the damn classes. He had lived in America for several years. He was already fluent. How unnecessary.

"Echizen-kun?" The teacher said and read something from her book. "Please translate this Japanese sentence to English; 'Good evening, sir, it was lovely to meet you.'"

Suddenly, the darker side of Ryoma kicked in and he smirked. This was perfect. The perfect plan. If he got detention, he would miss practice for sure, but he would probably still be able to play next week. If he got detention, he had an excuse and he could even offer to practice on his own after school, when the others were gone. That would work, wouldn't it? Yes, it would. Then he wouldn't have to see Fuji.

Ryoma sighed and stood up in his desk and started speaking in English.

"Good evening, sir, it was lovely to fuck you."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ryoma bit his lip where he sat, outside the principle's office, waiting for his punishment. The look on his teacher's face had been pretty amusing, even though Ryoma still felt quite ashamed of his childish act. It would've worked though, Ryoma was sure, if not Ryuuzaki-san, the older, was there. She was determined not to let Ryoma skip practice it seemed, as she was now inside the office, audibly shouting and argumenting with the principle. Damnit. To mess up his perfect plan like that... Typical. Did Ryuuzaki-san really have that kind of power?

Ryoma took a calming breath and prayed to all the gods he knew, that Ryuuzaki-san wouldn't succeed. He did not want to go to practice.

"Ryoma-kun", the door was opened and the elderly woman peeked out to give him a stern look. She walked out of the room and crossed her arms over her chest. "You should feel lucky, my womanly charm still hasn't gone away."

Ryoma paled and stood up.

"What?"

The old woman winked at him and patted his shoulder.

"You won't serve detention until next week. I told the principle that you have a very important match next week."

Ryoma felt as if someone had heaved a bucket of cold water over him. So... He had just earned himself a detention for nothing?

"But I...!" Ryoma exclaimed and turned his face away to hide his blush. "I can... I mean, why not now? I want to have it over and done with."

The woman was quiet for a second as Ryoma kept focusing on the floor.

"But, Ryoma...you have to practice this afternoon. I thought you'd be happy that I got you out of that tight situation. Unless..." She bent down and stared at Ryoma, who refused to meet her gaze. "There is a reason for your sudden reluctance of going to tennis practice?"

Ryoma gave a quick smile and shook his head.

"What are you...? I don't... I..." He sighed and pulled his cap lower over his eyes. "I'll go to practice. Thanks, coach. I have to go. I'm already late."

"I'll walk you there."

Ryoma cursed mentally. There goes Plan B - run home before anyone sees you.

They walked, in silence, to Ryoma's locker, where he got his bag and tennis racquet. He walked with unusually slow steps and kept ignoring the pointed glances he received from his coach. Dread rose in his chest as the tennis courts came into vision. He could see Fuji running around in there, chasing balls that someone threw at him. He was sweating in the warm weather, just like that time a couple of weeks ago. Ryoma stopped to stare at him in awe for a second, but quickly turned away when Fuji looked his direction. He ran to the locker room, which was thankfully empty.

While getting dressed, he actually had to bite his lip, not to groan in frustration. It had finally come to this! God damnit. Now he would have to face Fuji sooner or later. There was no doubt. The mere thought made him want to run home and scream for an extremely long time. Slowly, nervously he pulled his clothes on and gripped the racquet. Now he just had to open the door and walk out to the courts. No problem. Right? Ryoma stared at the door knob. He just had to grab it and open the damn piece of wood.

Just as he reached out his hand, someone else opened the door and walked in. Ryoma could feel how his eyes widened, until it felt like they would fall out of their sockets.

"Ryoma," Fuji said quietly and walked into the room, never breaking eye contact with Ryoma. Ryoma stepped backwards unknowingly, allowing Fuji to enter the room. "I've... I've been looking for you."

Ryoma snapped back to reality and swallowed before turning his burning face to the floor.

"Yeah, well... I've been in my classroom all day. Maybe it didn't cross your mind to search for me there." He replied as coldly as he could. His voice was shaky. Fuji didn't say anything for a moment.

"I suppose not." His voice was soft and somewhat hesitant. "Look, Ryoma... About yesterday-"

"I need to get to the courts," Ryoma interrupted, feeling the panic rise again. He needed to get out of there! He didn't want to talk about the previous night, damnit! Ryoma walked past Fuji, feeling his heart pounding at the very scent of the older boy, and gripped the door knob.

"Ryoma, stop," Fuji said, grasping Ryoma's arm, just like he had done before. Ryoma glared angrily at Fuji over his shoulder and tore himself loose. Fuji stared at him, looking slightly annoyed.

"What do you want?" Ryoma said, sounding angrier than necessary. As usual, panic and fear caused an angry reaction within Ryoma. He couldn't help it.

"I want to talk to you!" Fuji exclaimed. "About what you said yesterday-"

"I don't want to talk!" Ryoma snarled and turned around to leave the room, but a hand on his arm stopped him once more.

"Well, you know what? This isn't just about you!" Fuji said. Ryoma stilled at the noticeable anger in his voice and turned to stare at the usually calm senior who was now frowning at him, blue eyes open wide. Careful not to loose himself in them, Ryoma cleared his throat and turned his face away again, not even bothering to cover his blush. Fuji already knew how he felt anyway. He knew and was probably disgusted. Hell, even Ryoma himself was a little disgusted.

"Then talk," Ryoma sighed, drained from anger. He stared emotionlessly into the wall on his right. "Not that there is much to say." Fuji's hand left his arm and Ryoma could hear how he sighed.

"Yesterday...did not go well, did it?"

Ryoma scoffed and smiled with disgusted amusement.

"You could say that again."

"Right. I'm really sorry. I honestly thought you were in love with Sakuno. The way she acted around you and the way you acted back... I just thought you were two kids in love, you know?"

Two kids in love?

Ryoma glared at Fuji who immediately realized his mistake.

"Not that you're a kid or anything! Sorry... I'm just saying the wrong things here..." Fuji said and scratched his head. Ryoma moved his gaze to the floor, waiting for the senior to go on. "The thing is, I mean, it never even crossed my mind, the possibility of you being in love with me-"

"I'm not in love!" Ryoma exclaimed, glared at the floor and sighed. "I just... really like you", he muttered, trying to ignore the fact that he was more or less confessing a second time. And now Fuji wanted to talk about it? What the hell? Fuji was, again, silenced for a moment.

"Yeah, well... Uh, I... I was shocked. Since I hadn't even considered that you could feel like that for me and-"

"Is this supposed to comfort me or something?" Ryoma suddenly asked and gave Fuji an irritated look. "Look, you don't have to feel bad about this. You haven't done anything wrong... except for jumping to conclusions way too fast", he muttered. "I started to like you... Like this. More than as a friend. It just happened. I don't know why or when. But if you could just... like, leave me alone for a while, that would be good." Ryoma gave Fuji a serious look. "I don't stand a chance of getting over you if you keep talking to me. I can't even look at you without feeling like I'm..."

Ryoma gave an annoyed sigh as he didn't find the right words. He rubbed his tired eyes with his free hand.

"Just leave me alone, okay?" He turned around to leave again, but Fuji still wouldn't let him.

"That's not fair!" Fuji grabbed his arm again and pulled Ryoma away from the door, placing himself in front of it to prevent Ryoma from leaving. "Don't just decide what we're going to do on your own! You're the one who confessed to me. Don't just run away fromt his." Fuji had that slightly angry look on his face again. Ryoma gaped at him.

"Then...huh?" He replied, more than a little confused. "What? What are you saying?" Fuji gave a heavy sigh and turned his gaze to the floor just like Ryoma had done earlier.

"Look... I'm not saying I feel the same, because right now, I don't. But I... I don't know," Fuji said and met Ryoma's confused, and rather hurt gaze. "That's why I need your help."

"With what?" Ryoma said, the hurt making itself known as his heart started thrumming harder. He didn't understand what Fuji was getting at. If he feel that way about Ryoma, then…what?

"To figure out what I feel for you, exactly," Fuji said and took a step towards Ryoma who gave him a shocked look and backed away from the older boy. "I don't know what I feel, or if I'm even capable of liking another man. I've only ever dated girls up until now."

Ryoma swallowed and tried to ignore the pain in his chest. What the hell? Did Fuji even realize how big of an ass he was at the moment?

"Figure it out yourself, idiot," Ryoma muttered angrily and made another try for the door, but Fuji got in the way.

"Ryoma, if I'm going to try and figure out what I feel for you, it would probably be a good idea if you helped me."

Ryoma tsk-ed and glared at the boy again, before sighing in defeat. He was already in hell. Why not do as Fuji said? The older boy had more or less told him straight out that he didn't like Ryoma back; that still hurt.

"Fine," Ryoma sighed. "What did you have in mind?" Fuji smiled smugly, eyes returning to their normal slitted-state.

"Well... I was thinking... Another date? Are you free tonight?"

"You have got to be kidding." Ryoma groaned and leaned against the wall. "Yesterday was just... really weird and I have barely gotten any sleep at all because of you..."

"I know," Fuji said and leaned against the wall next to Ryoma. "And I'm sorry. I know I'm being a jerk right now."

Ryoma snorted in agreement.

"But I..." Fuji continued and almost seemed annoyed. "I get this feeling around you. Like... It's not impossible. Yesterday, when I realized that I was the one you liked, I was shocked, yes, but I wasn't sad or angry or repulsed or anything like that. Just really... really surprised, you know?" Ryoma nodded grumpily, still blushing away. Fuji sighed and put the back of his head against the cool stone wall. "That's why I want to give it a try. Cuz, if it's not impossible, then it is, in fact, possible."

Ryoma nodded and gave Fuji a weak smile. Fuji smiled back. Ryoma was still hurting though. This wasn't what he would've liked to hear. Fuji didn't return his feelings. And the fact that Fuji hadn't even considered it actually hurt him more than he liked to admit. And now the older boy wanted another date, just to see and figure out if, maybe, he could feel something for Ryoma? It was pretty selfish. But Ryoma couldn't say no, even though he would've liked to punch Fuji for his daftness and insensitivity.

"You're really weird, you know that?" Ryoma said and slid down the wall. Fuji gave a laugh and slid down as well.

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

They sat in silence the next three minutes before Ryoma finally got up. Suddenly, he didn't want to be alone with Fuji anymore. It felt too weird.

"I have to go. Tezuka's probably really pissed with me by now." Fuji shook his head and got up as well.

"Nah, he's still sick. If this goes on, I'll have to take over his playing position next week," Fuji said, and Ryoma sniggered as he heard the innocent tone of his voice.

"Right. And that would be such a chore, wouldn't it?"

Fuji gave him an amused look and shook his head.

"Fine, I admit it; I would really like to play next week. Even though Tezuka is our respected captain, I kinda wish he'd stay sick this one time."

"I'll keep my fingers crossed then," Ryoma murmured with a slight smile and adjusted the strings on his racquet before stalking towards the court closest to them. "See you later."

"Wait," Fuji's hand on his shoulder stopped him, once more, and Ryoma turned around to look at him. The senpai smiled teasingly. "I'll pick you up at seven." Ryoma's heart gave a painful thump and he stared at his senpai for a few seconds, before nodding numbly. Fuji smirked and walked out. Ryoma stared after him and felt how his weak smile faltered. If Fuji wasn't already sure, and actually needed another date to figure out what he felt for him, this wasn't such a good idea, was it?

To be continued.

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(yaaawn) Oh Christ... I want to sleep. Aaanyway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, please review. If you didn't, please review. I want to know what you thought of it. Okay? I'm sorry if this chapter sucked, but I've had very little time to work on it, because I'm going to London tomorrow, so lately I've barely had time for anything but packing, planning and sleeping. Gomen gomen.