Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything within that universe. I do own a sense of humor and a computer, though.


A good night's sleep did a lot to put one in perspective. While everything around Naruto had been weird as of late, it was about to get prospectively weirder. Day came slowly for the unprepared mind of the young man drooling on his sheets.

A beam of sunlight streamed in through his window at around nine, calling him into consciousness. The mattress crinkled beneath him when he slowly sat up. He pushed his feet across the covers and onto the solid ground.

"Muh…" he drawled out, talking to himself. "What a strange dream that was."

The jinchuuriki pulled a cup of ramen out of his cupboard and heated the water like a ritual before sitting down in his usual position. Was it just him, or did he feel shorter than he usually was? He ate without returning to that question because the answer could have frightened him.

He ate quickly, contemplating whether or not he would tell Sakura about his dream. He knew it would piss her off, but that was half the fun, wasn't it? Besides, she was mature enough now that she wasn't going to go at him with a hacksaw, right? She hadn't done that in quite some time.

Instinct drove the Yondaime's son to avoid any mirrors that morning, but he still had to get dressed. His closet would tell him what his bathroom would not.

Naruto had already planned his outfit for the day. He was going to wear a black jumpsuit with one of his orange vests that he bought last week. It was going to look awesome! Lee would probably worship it. Naruto just couldn't wait.

His hand reached for the drawer handle, then grasped and pulled. Unadulterated horror plastered Naruto Uzumaki's face upon seeing its contents. His breath hitched.

How?

That first orange jacket… He had torn it up, hadn't he? He remembered the sad day he had thrown it away! Why had it returned from beyond the clothing grave?! Jackets didn't haunt. It didn't make sense!

Is it possible that…?

He looked down at his hands. They were surprisingly smooth. Weren't they calloused the last time he looked?

No way! No way in hell!

Unable to put it off any longer, Naruto shot into his washroom and looked at his reflection carefully. He stared back at himself, eyes wide with wonder. Was this a prank? How the hell… how…. Why? The face of his reflection wasn't that of the genin he knew. No. This was a child.

"This… is this really ME?" he shouted, even though he had no reply. He didn't know whether he was supposed to be overjoyed or disturbed. Had he finally cracked? This was physically impossible. There was no such thing as time-travel, and his own experiences had not been a dream in any respect.

Then, yesterday actually happened?!

Naruto felt himself foam at the mouth as he discovered that yesterday had indeed been real, and that Sasuke Uchiha really WAS walking around with the word 'arrogance' plastered on his face with a goatee and a unibrow! The Sandaime was still alive! Orochimaru was still in hiding! Was it a miracle?! Was it a curse? Reasoning told him it was more than likely a sign of schizophrenia, which also seemed unlikely.

Determined to prove to himself that he was correct and not just crazy, Naruto yanked his clothing on at the speed of light and trounced out his front door with one sleeve of his jacket undone. Konoha bustled around him as it always did, thinking nothing of the hyperactive boy. He was always like that.

At that time, villagers would usually go out of their way to make sure Naruto Uzumaki knew that he wasn't welcome in Konoha. That day, however, no icy glare reached him. No tripping stopped him, either. He was a boy on a mission that had no letter ranking.

He rushed through the crowds ear their respective market stands and towards the Hokage's mansion. If Sarutobi was alive, then Naruto had to see him with his own eyes.

Surely enough, the old man was outside his home speaking with some of his subordinates. Naruto's lips curved into a quivering smile from behind the gate. Tears fell from his eyes at a steady rate. The old man hadn't noticed his observer, but Naruto was happy enough just knowing he was there.

Everything that had happened in his future life might as well have been a nightmare. It hadn't occurred yet, and he would be damned if he allowed it to.

The day he was informed of the Third's death was one of the most tragic he would ever experience. Regardless of the emotions he had shown t the time, the whole thing had left him feeling empty for so long. He couldn't handle that grief again.

"I'll protect you," Naruto promised in a whisper, just watching the old man speak and laugh for a few more seconds. "I'll protect you even if it kills me."

The Uzumaki sniffed and wiped away at his tears of joy quickly when he saw several villagers walk towards him from the corner of his eye. They all were on some sort of errand. That reminded him. Wasn't he supposed to be somewhere? What was today? There was something he was supposed to remember.

It hit him like a shovel flung from a ballista; a revelation so terrible that it almost made him gag with the irony of it all.

"Aaack! I'm going to be late! EVEN BY KAKASHI'S STANDARDS!"

Any remaining teardrops still adorning the genin's face were air-dried during his sprint to the training field. He bowled over a couple garbage cans on the way, he was fairly certain, but some sacrifices had to be made for old time's sake.

Sasuke was irate when he arrived at the training field at eight. His skin was red and puffy from desperately scrubbing at the marks that hadn't come off. The word 'arrogance' seemed to stand out even more, if anything. Sakura had been the second to arrive, a little late because she had been doing her hair. As a woman, she had explained, she always took pride in her appearance. The explanation had continued for about one minute before Sasuke cut her off with the fact he just didn't care.

Looking at him reproachfully, Sakura felt a blush come to her cheeks. She didn't know how she was supposed to go about mentioning the marker adorning her love's face.

"Sasuke, your fa-"

"I know. That infernal Naruto-!" he growled, searching the horizon for the absent third member of Team Seven. He was late. Was the moron afraid? Heh. Served him right.

The two waited together while the sun continued its ascent into the sky. After an hour and forty minutes, they were more than slightly irritated.

Of course, it was right then that Naruto had to fly over the fence and into a tree directly behind Sakura. It wasn't a quiet entrance, by any means. As soon as the two punctual shinobi realized that their target of displeasure had arrived, they cracked their knuckles and stared at him like a cat would a mouse.

"Good… morning," the demon container choked out in between blows. Sasuke continued to beat him mercilessly for what seemed like an eternity before Kakashi showed up in his shadow. The copy ninja's visible eye twitched. The day had started out so well, too.

"I would stop that if I were you." he said warningly, bending down until his breath tickled the back of the Uchiha's neck. The so-called 'dobe' was forgotten and Sasuke twisted around to defend himself.

Kakashi dodged easily, and then caught sight of Sasuke's face himself.

The teacher cocked his head to the left, studying the markings for a short time before bursting into laughter himself. The vengeful adolescent Sasuke couldn't be any more embarrassed.

Luckily for Sasuke, relishing in the Uchiha's personal shame was the last thing on the instructor's mind. Training a girl whose mind was solely devoted to pleasing one boy, an emotional time bomb, and a hyperactive blonde was a lot harder than it sounded. The task had not sounded easy to begin with, either. As if the heavens wanted the task to be even more difficult, one was trying to kill another.

Kakashi had to admit that the reason for the conflict was more than a tad bit amusing. Naruto's prank was a very direct comment on his rival's behavior. It was like a writ for individual freedom; he wanted Sasuke to know he wasn't going to take it anymore without resorting to violence. Not that it had worked, but it was a noble and/or comedic idea.

"Could you kindly refrain from removing your teammate's internal organs with your fists, Uni-boy? He's going to need them later." Kakashi ordered his pupil in between intakes of breath for his next chuckling fit.

Sasuke just twitched.

Naruto laughed alongside his sensei from the tree to which he had retreated. He felt the killing intent flowing from Sakura, but pretended it wasn't there. He could take her in a heartbeat if she tried anything.

"Oi! Kakashi-sensei!" he interrupted at last, a promise that he'd made less than an hour ago burning in his mind. "-What are we going to do today? Missions? Training? Training about missions?"

The perverted jonin walked past Sasuke so that he was in the center of the Genin ranks and cleared his throat.

"Actually, I was going to have you run as many laps as possible for the next twenty minutes." he said casually,"-and then I was going to have us take the most humiliating D-rank on the roster."

"D-rank?" Sakura asked, her eyes still narrowed at Naruto.

"Yes, D-rank missions. The lowest of the low." Kakashi replied, pulling out the book that matched Naruto's jacket. "Things like weeding, gardening, hauling heavy objects. You know, minimum wage crap. It builds character."

"Che… Yeah, right. I'd rather be training." Sasuke complained, crossing his arms. Kakashi rounded on him in an instant.

"That can be arranged. You've just earned your team another ten minutes of laps." the instructor stated smugly. His word was law. Sakura looked less than amused. In fact, she looked terrified. The girl hadn't really been keeping up with her physical endurance training, obviously.

From the tree branch, Naruto was smiling widely. The team had just gotten its first group sentence, and it wasn't even his fault! As if it could be better than that, Sasuke was the culprit!

"Any particular starting and finishing point?" he heard himself ask in an earnestly cheery voice, causing his teacher to be caught off guard by Naruto's good attitude.

"Uh, yeah. You start at this rock and end at this rock." he replied, pointing to a boulder next to them. "-but before you come back you need to reach the river."

Sakura looked like she was going to die. All the way to the river? From their position? That was an entire mile!

"Oh, and you can't stop for any reason, or you'll have to start over. Get it?" he asked, looking from one young face to another.

Sasuke leered at him.

Sakura nodded mid-tremble.

Naruto was already running.

Seeing the negative response he got from two-thirds of his students, he couldn't help but inform them that was just a warm-up compared to tomorrow's physical conditioning.

The D-ranked missions were a lot less difficult than Naruto remembered them being. Complaining had probably robbed him of a lot of time and energy he could have just used to complete the tasks. After some self-observation, Naruto had discovered he had a few talents in manual labor.

He could weed non-stop for two hours before he needed a drink and change a feces-filled diaper without complaining. He could run a message to an elderly woman in less time that it took for most to use the bathroom. For the first time in a while, Naruto felt content to be a genin. These were his fellow villagers, after all. If someone wanted to be a leader of something, they had to love it from all levels, didn't they?

Still, that didn't mean he never got fed up. Sometimes the Uzumaki would get bored, or hostile towards his teammates for not leaving him alone for a second. Seriously. He didn't point out everything they did wrong. Well, not this time around, at least.

Finding Tora the cat was the worst. That feline was a demon. He was sure of it. Somehow, that request came in at least three times a week. Every time, Kakashi took it without fail. Because, he had explained, it was the only mission that gave Naruto any trouble. The jonin was an equal opportunity employer. He wanted to make sure all of his students had an equal chance to be miserable.

The reproach that emanated off of Sasuke after the comment was tangible. Sakura didn't really respond at all.

Days rolled by, soon to be replaced by weeks. Kakashi had become ruthless with their schedules. Even Naruto was forced to get up early. Even if the jonin was always late, he still meant it when he assigned them self-improvement routines to do on their own time. He knew when they didn't do it, and some teammates(Sakura) were punished severely.

The truth was that Naruto really, truly, and sincerely wanted to be stronger, so it worked out perfectly for him in the end.

The missions gained him a few new friends, but usually evening found the blue-eyed wonder playing with Konohamaru and his posse. He found that it was fun to teach them, and that it was good practice for his patience and mental capabilities to do so. Well-that, and seeing the honorable grandson create a perfect sexy transformation. Especially when they did something nice, like steal from Ebisu. Nothing valuable, mind you, but those marshmallows were some of the most delicious the demon-boy had ever tasted.

Naruto still did his trivial work without complaining, but felt he should probably push the issue of more important tasks soon. In the original timeline, he remembered having thrown a tantrum around that tie that ended in them leading Tazuna and his country to freedom. The event was kind of important to Naruto. He didn't like the thought of Inari being murdered… among other things.

Maybe the outcome of the whole mission could be teased into a less tragic position. The jinchuuriki spent several nights attempting to plan that out before actually deciding to go through with 'Operation: Throw a tantrum'.

He slept well the night before, knowing that being well-rested would help in the long run.


Author's note: Oops.