A Dish Best Served Cold
Lady hurtled down the road on her motorbike, the wind whipping through her hair. She quickly checked her watch before fixing her eyes back on to the road.
Okay, if I work quickly, I'll probably be able to finish this before the pizza arrives at my place.
A gout of flame shot out of the exhaust pipe as the bike accelerated, becoming a blur of speed. Tonight was just a routine job, a bar tender had called her describing what fitted the description of a minor demon attack, most likely marionettes or hell prides. Nothing that Lady wouldn't be able to handle, so she had packed light. A pair of huge customized six shooter revolvers, a machete, and her beloved Kalina Anne rocket launcher strapped to the side of the bike just in case.
Lady's stomach gave a growl as she neared her destination.
Damn, I'm hungry. That pizza man better be there when I get back.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to her and she laughed, but quickly closed her mouth in case any bugs decided to fly in, which was very likely at the speed she was going.
Well, what do you know? I've been having pizza for dinner every day for the past month. It could be the fact that I can't cook for shit, or that albino ass hole really is rubbing off on me.
She scowled at this thought. Ever since that incident so many years ago at the Temen Ni Gru, Lady and Dante had formed a "friend-like" relationship. Still, Dante never ceased to annoy the hell out of Lady. He could push her buttons like no other man could. It was lucky Dante was a half demon, because more often than not, when Lady lost her temper she sent a bullet drilling into the red clad devil hunter's skull. Although hse some times forgot it, the name 'Lady' which she used due to lack of a better moniker was actually a nickname which Dante had labelled her with. She had to admit, it had grown on her.
The bike screeched to a halt in front of the bar. The Temple of Nirvana, which was the name of the bar, as evidenced by the flickering neon sign above the door, was an establishment that certainly did not fit the over extravagant name it had been given. The paint covering its outer walls and roof had long since flaked off, and the windows were dusty and cracked. Demons seemed to be attracted this types of places. Lady hopped off her bike, leaving Kalina Ann strapped securely to its side. This wouldn't take long.
Lady gave the door a push, and it swung inwards with a dangerous creak. The devil hunter entered the bar and took a look around. The interior was as seedy as the exterior. It was a rather cramped space; on one side of the room was a bar counter with a shelf filled with bottles of beer and other beverages. On the other side were a couple of old wooden tables and chairs, seated with a few solitary customers, mostly big, burly men quietly sipping their beer. The men didn't even look up as Lady entered. Strange, considering the admiring stares she usually drew.
A rotating fan spun on the ceiling, its blades revolving with a quiet hum. A bearded man behind the counter motioned for Lady to come to him. She approached the man cautiously and registered the door slamming shut behind her unaided. That was never a good sign.
Something about the place just didn't seem right. Lady suddenly had a very bad feeling in her gut that this wasn't quite the routine job she was expecting. She considered going back and getting Kalina Ann, but decided to get the gist of the situation before bringing out the big guns. Still, as a precaution, she let her hand rest on one of the pistols hanging from its holster by her side. Lady put her free hand on the counter and eyed the bearded man suspiciously before speaking.
"What's the problem here? And make it quick I got somewhere to be."
The man behind the counter smiled behind his beard revealing cracked and yellowed teeth. He threw his head back and laughed. It sounded like a baby being crushed in a car compactor...well maybe that description was a bit melodramatic, but the man's laugh certainly did sound strange and awful. The bearded man with a baby crushing laugh then lifted up his shirt revealing a gaping hole in his skin that steadily poured out blood.
Lady whipped out one of her guns, ready to put a well placed bullet in this freak's skull. "What the hell are you?" she hissed through gritted teeth. Before she could squeeze the trigger, she heard a noise behind her and turned around just in the nick of time as one of the men drinking beer behind her suddenly jumped out of his seat and rushed towards her, toting a large axe, normally used for chopping wood. In this instance, it appeared that it would be used for relieving Lady of her limbs. Lady quickly ducked down with lightning reflexes and grabbed the man's wrists, using his own weight to flip him over the counter and crashing into the bearded man, taking them both down.
Both men were up quickly, and soon found a smoking hole smack in the middle of their foreheads as Lady whipped out both her customized revolvers and emptied a bullet into both of their skulls. The two men collapsed to the ground, liquid dripping from their eyes and ears. The guns were Lady's own design. They resembled Colt Peacemakers, featuring a revolving chamber holding six rounds, though the guns and the bullets were larger than ordinary Colts.
The reason for this was that the bullets were specially made, hollowed out and filled with holy water. They were designed so that once the bullet had drilled inside the victim, they would explode, releasing the holy water and causing major damage. This would take down many minor demons with a single shot to a vital area, and cause heavy damage to the more powerful demons. These men certainly weren't human, but Lady didn't doubt that a direct shot to the head would easily put them down for good.
Lady turned around and found that all of the other men seated at the tables had risen up and approached her menacingly. She counted them off in her head. There were about six or so in the room, though she saw a back door open and more begin to shuffle inside.
Damn, I better finish this quickly.
She raised her twin guns and began firing with deadly precision, each bullet driving into one of the men's skulls. She emptied the last of the bullets in each gun and flicked them back to reload but paused as she saw the men she had hit get back up, seemingly unhurt by the onslaught of burning hot lead and holy water.
What the hell are these guys...They're no way human, but even a demon would at least be seriously hurt by holy water.
Before she could ponder on this for longer, she felt a pair of heavily muscled arms grab her from behind and a tremendous pressure beginning to squeeze her neck. The bearded man had recovered from the bullet in his skull and had risen up to grab Lady in a sleeper hold from behind the counter. The other man had gotten up to still toting the axe which he now raised, ready to swing. Lady gasped for breath and her grip on one of her guns loosened, causing it to clatter to the floor.
Using her flexibility, she kicked upwards and caught the bearded man straight in the forehead with the toe of her boot. The man released his grip, allowing Lady to drop to her knees just as his companion swung the axe for all he was worth, cutting straight through his neck. The bearded man's head fell to the ground with a hollow thud, shortly followed by his now limp body.
Lady sprang up again and gripped the axe wielder's wrists before flipping him over the bar again and crashing to the floor. She managed to wrench the axe from his hands and then brought it crashing back down on his throat, decapitating him. The body twitched wildly for a few seconds before becoming motionless.
Well, at least I know how to kill them now
Lady raised the axe over her head with one hand and twirled her remaining pistol casually in the other. There were quite a few men around her now, though they hung back after seeing how easily she had handled their allies. Up close, Lady noticed that many of them had gory wounds in their bodies and faces, ragged holes and cuts. They moved with strange, jerky actions and had a strange dull and dead look in their eyes.
Zombies? That's a first.
Lady smirked as one of the zombies broke from the pack and charged at her. Without missing a beat, Lady slid her remaining revolver across the floor at the zombie's feet. The zombie stepped on the gun and lost its balance, stumbling forward. Lady swung the axe with lightning speed and in a second, the zombie lay unmoving on the floor, its head separated from its body. Lady twirled like some kind of psychotic ballerina as a pair of zombies lunged at her from behind. Two heads soon rolled to the ground as the axe became a blur of movement.
More zombies rushed at the huntress, but they all fell decapitated as Lady leaped and twirled, ducking, dodging and slicing with a skill that made the axe seem less like a wood chopping instrument than a deadly and elegant weapon. The floor soon became slick with blood and Lady soon found herself covered in head to toe with her victims' life blood. One wily zombie managed to avoid the initial swing of her axe and attempted to spear tackle the physically smaller woman to the ground. But Lady was far too fast and she leapt clear over the creature's head and landed on one of the tables.
Lady caught her breath, her chest rising and falling with exertion. The zombies crowded around the table she was standing on, carefully stepping over the bodies of their comrades, though they stayed away from her reach, weary of the axe.
Seeing this, Lady swung her axe through the air in challenge.
"Is that all that you boys have got? Now come on, I haven't even gotten started yet!" Lady shouted with a grin.
She opened her mouth to dish out some further verbal punishment but was drowned out by a colossal bang. Lady just barely managed to leap clear as the table she was standing on simply exploded into a pile of splinters and burnt wood. She flipped gracefully in the air and landed on the counter, and looked around for the source of the noise. She didn't have to as one of the zombies pushed past the others with a shotgun held in its hands. Lady's jaw dropped as the zombie flashed Lady a maggot riddled grin and opened fire. Lady dropped down to her knees behind the counter and the shot sailed over her head and collided with the shelf behind her. Lady threw her arms up over her head as she was showered by shattering glass and beer.
What the hell? Zombies with shotguns?
Lady heard the distinct shuck-shuck of the shotgun reloading and the shuffling footsteps of the other zombies as they moved closer to the counter, getting ready to leap over it and tear her to shreds. But Lady wouldn't give them the chance. She sprang up to her feet before the shotgun-toting zombie could fire and raised the axe in the air, tensing her muscles. The zombie stood apart from the crowd, near the door and its eyes widened in shock as Lady pitched the axe straight at him. The axe spun through the air before lodging its self with tremendous force into the zombie's chest.
The zombie was staggered backwards, the axe still lodged in its chest. Its arm jerked up from the impact, instinctively firing. The shotgun round collided with the joint of the ceiling fan, blowing it clear off the ceiling and into the crowd of zombies underneath. The fan continued to rotate wildly, cutting and piercing through flesh and blood with a hideous grinding sound as it single handedly massacred the zombies. Blood and severed body parts flew through the air in every direction.
The shotgun zombie stood apart from its writhing brothers, clawing at the axe embedded in its chest. It barely noticed the black haired huntress seemingly appear out of no where right in front of it. Lady ripped the axe out of the zombie's chest and used it to slice through the arm holding the shotgun. The zombie lurched backwards, blood spurting from its wounds. Lady picked up the shotgun and aimed it at the zombie. She pulled the trigger and blasted the zombie clear off its feet and sent it crashing through the window behind it and onto the street outside. Lady turned around and saw that the fan had ceased its spinning and that the remaining zombies were now approaching her with a murderous look on their blood splattered faces.
Lady raised the shotgun and managed to squeeze off two shots, blasting two of the zombie's heads into paste before the shotgun clicked empty. She threw the shotgun aside and hurled the axe at the zombies as a parting shot before flipping backwards, sailing out the shattered window and outside. She quickly rolled to her bike and ripped Kalina Ann free of its harness. She pointed the deadly weapon at the bar. A missile flew out of Kalina Ann's barrel and sailed in through the window. There was a colossal explosion that rattled the very foundation of the building and the door was blown completely off its hinges as a tongue of fire blossomed out. Then there was silence.
Lady lowered her gun, panting slightly.
"Done already? Damn, I was just starting to have some fun," said Lady with a laugh. Lady's laugher came to an abrupt stop as she felt a hand clasp her shoulder from behind.
"Don't worry, my dear. It's not over yet," said an all too familiar voice. A scream of rage came unbidden from Lady's mouth and she whirled around swinging Kalina Ann with all her strength. Arkham blocked Kalina Ann's bayonet-like blade with his bare hand and tossed the huge rocket launcher away with a casual flick of his wrist, sending it spinning from Lady's grip. Lady swung her fist at her father's jaw, but Arkham deftly moved his head out of the way and struck Lady in the stomach with his open palm.
The huntress was thrown back a full ten feet and landed with a heavy thud on the pavement. She struggled to her feet, blood leaking from her mouth as Arkham walked non chalantly towards her.
"You son of a bitch...I thought I killed you a long time ago."
Arkham shrugged, not pausing in his stride.
"You did my dear daugher. But now I'm back, and I'm afraid you need to be punished. I don't take kindly to being killed."
Lady clenched her fists, feeling her nails bite into her palms. Her whole body burned with an inconceivable rage. This couldn't be happening. The man who had taken everything away from her was back to do it all again. Just when she thought she had everything together again, her father came back from the dead with the sole purpose of making her life a living hell. She looked her father straight in the eyes, those strange eyes that matched hers exactly. One eye red, The other one blue.
"I killed you once before, and now I'm gonna do it again," Lady hissed through gritted teeth.
She charged at Arkham, closing the distance between them in a split second. Arkham raised his hand to intercept her, but Lady ducked under his arm and ran behind him. She sprinted towards the weapon that would allow her to send her father back to hell. The Kalina Ann. Lady dived towards the weapon and managed to get one hand onto it, but found that it wouldn't budge from the ground. She looked up to see that Arkham had somehow appeared out of thin air and stood over her with his foot firmly planted on Kalina Ann.
"Come now, Mary. Is that really the best you can do?"
"My name isn't Mary!"
She used her hands to push herself clear off the ground and flipped forward 180 degrees, her legs kicking out towards Arkham's chest. With a soft whooshing sound of displaced air, Arkham disappeared from sight before Lady could touch him. She landed on her feet and snatched up Kalina Ann. Lady span around just in time to block an open handed strike from Arkham with Kalina Ann's blade. Arkham's hand collided with the sharp edge and quickly pulled away, undamaged, but the force of the strike almost wrenched Kalina Ann from Lady's grip and forced her back a few steps. Lady flipped back wards to put space between her and Arkham and landed on her feet, Kalina Ann poised and ready to fire.
He's still insanely fast. I got to catch him off guard somehow.
Arkham shook his head and chuckled to himself quietly.
"As entertaining as this is, Mary, I don't have time to play your little game anymore. It is time to finish this pathetic little family quarrel."
Lady smirked and tightened her grip on Kalina Ann.
"I couldn't agree more."
Arkham disappeared from view once again, but Lady was already whipping around, swinging Kalina Ann. Arkham appeared a split second later, right in the path of her blade. He blocked the blade easily with one hand and moved his other hand to strike, Lady ducked under the blow, pivoting on one foot to launch a swift kick at Arkham's chest. His hand latched onto her foot with a vice like grip, and wrenched it to the side, intending to break her ankle. Instead, Lady used the momentum he provided her to spin and launch yet another lightning fast kick at Arkham's face. This time, it connected. Arkham staggered backwards, clutching his cheek.
His eyes widened in surprise as he found that Lady had taken to the air, floating gracefully above Arkham with a triumphant grin on her face. She pointed Kalina Ann downwards, right at Arkham's bewildered face and squeezed the trigger. The ground shook as the missile exploded with tremendous force.
Lady landed a few metres away from the smoking crater that the missile had left. She stared at the crater, dumb struck. No corpse was to be seen.
How the hell did he escape?
Lady whirled around again, expecting Arkham to appear behind her, but her blade cut through thin air. She looked up and saw a strange shape soaring down from the sky towards her. A boot collided with Lady's face, and she was thrown to the ground. Lady looked up blearily with one eye swollen shut. Blood trickled down her face, further obscuring her vision.
A man resembling a clown stood before her, giggling insanely. "Don't look now deary, but you got a little somethin'-somethin' on your pretty little face!" he cackled.
"You still wear that ridiculous disguise, Arkham?" growled Lady as she struggled to her feet.
Jester shrugged.
"I admit, it's a little behind the current fashion, but hey, I'm trying to bring the look back in. I'm a trend setter."
He dashed forward and delivered a brutal knee to Lady's stomach. Lady doubled over, gasping for breath. The clown relentlessly drove his knee into Lady's stomach again, still cackling with glee. Lady's vision began to darken from the pain and she tasted blood in her mouth. It felt like her insides were about to explode. Jester swung his fist this time and hit Lady with a massive hay maker, knocking her clear off her feet and into the air. He then grabbed Lady while she was still suspended in the air and then brought her crashing back down to the ground with such force that the concrete shuddered and cracked.
Lady's senses were overloaded with pain and an agonized scream escaped her mouth that was shortly turned into a strangled gurgle as blood bubbled up into her throat. Her eyes drooped; she was beginning to lose consciousness. Now it was Arkham's face that loomed over her, but some of Jester's sadistic glee still lingered on his normally expressionless face.
"Don't worry, Mary. We aren't finished with you yet."
Then the pain overcame her, and all she saw was darkness.
