Not sure how many of you are reading this after all these years. If you are I'd really appreciate you letting me know, even if its brief. I am really wide open to ideas alongside my own on how all the various threads woven into this story finish up, and I have taken so much inspiration from those reading and replying along the way. Thanks again :)


"Mom you're so slow!"

"I'm old!" cried Olivia, throwing her head back in a guttural cackle as she threw her head back in a long, cathartic laugh. "Did we earn ourselves an ice cream yet?"

"You tired?" asked Sam, catching the basketball as Evie threw it and settling it in his lap. "Your bloods gonna be able to handle an ice cream?"

"I'm old but I'm still in possession of all my faculties….." prodding at Sam's shoulder Olivia narrowed her eyes and warned, "… so quit nannying me my love. I am fine, I am a little out of shape but I will kick your ass next time. Besides, I'll have a popsicle, that's just ice and juice."

"I am so down for that. I still have at least six more months of blaming the twins for my blimp like state so…."

"Oh and the souls of a million women who'd kill for your figure just wailed in disbelief Evie Grace!" sighed Olivia, shaking her head sadly. Eve was almost as slight now as she was in her teens, a tiny dancer still dwarfed by Calvin. She did not need to worry about her figure.

"She's really annoying isn't she Mom?"

"I didn't say…."

"Hey!" baulked Eve, furrowing perfectly arched brows and hitting her brother around the head with the back of her hand.

"Hey yourself lady, don't hit your brother!" leaning in and grabbing at Eve's wrist Olivia put herself between the two of them. "I did this when you were knee high and you are no better now my loves. Am I going to go grey trying to stop the pair of you from beating each other up?"

"Probably…." smirked Sam, throwing his full upper body weight into his wheels and pulling ahead of the ladies.

"You remember me bringing you both here? When you were tiny?" sighing contentedly Olivia remembered how blissful it had been then, and soaked up how wonderful it still was just spending time with her children. "I used to get the worst side eye from the other moms when they saw how cute and well behaved my kids were."

"They were looking at the wrong kids, right?" giggled Eve, pulling a face that said she knew just how naughty she was growing up. "I mean Sammy, credit where it's due, was pretty adorable, but I know for sure I was hell on you and Dad."

"Okay, well, now we can talk mother to mother…."

"Ha! Vee you were a tiny tyrant!" remembered Sam, his little eyes having watched her like a hawk when they were younger.

"Oh you didn't seem to mind so much Sammy. You know your Dad used to call you Mouse's little shadow, right?"

"I'll really miss you both, annoying as you are, when I go away." Coming to a halt beside the ice cream van Sam looked up, meeting his mother and sister's eyes in turn and smiling with love and a light sadness. "You're not the worst people to hang out with."

"We will be here waiting for you when you get back, don't you worry. You gotta go do your thing Sammy, you gotta get out there and see what's going on in the world."

"Can I remind you of these wise words when we're at the airport and your bawling your eyes out and begging me not to go?" teased Sam, but then in a spontaneous moment of unfiltered love and bottomless affection he reached out and grabbed for Olivia's hand. "Just kidding."

"You flying down there now, bro?" asked Eve, lifting their ice creams down from the van and paying the vendor. "I thought you guys were driving over the border?"

"Does it really have to be Mexico and Latin America you start with? I mean I hear Canada iswonderful this time of year and…"

"Mom…."

"I know! I know!" laughed Olivia, tossing her eyes and brandishing her icy popsicle warningly. "Not another word I promise. For today, at least, I promise."

"You trusted Evie to go off to California to strike out on her own."

"Yeah and look how well that turned out…." said Eve completely unthinkingly. Turning to Olivia she swallowed a mouthful of sprinkles and felt them catch in her throat. "Oh I didn't mean to be flippant. I just…."

"Sweetheart?" interjected Olivia, reaching to Eve's face and stroking the knuckle of her index finger down her cheek. "That you're in a place where you can be flippant? Don't you dare apologise."

"I feel lighter."

"You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that."

"Me too…." echoed Sam, flashing his sister a loving smile. "But seriously, let's not compare the two scenarios after all. You're not helping my case Vee."

"So are you guys done? Mom are you tired?"

"What you thinking baby girl?" asked Olivia, who in truth was feeling the most herself she had in a long time. "I am right as rain."

"Maybe pizza and a beer? Calvin is having bonding time with his nuggets and Dad is probably loving having the TV to himself so we're not on a clock."

"I'm in…." said Olivia decisively, turning to Sam, "… Sammy?"

"Dinner on Evie, sure, I'm all over that."

"Hey I didn't say I was…."

"Sorry sweetheart, I think I'm with your brother on this one."

"Okay now who's annoying!" groaned Eve, as the three meandered together through the sidewalks of New York without a care in the world.


"Run Leni, run! Don't let it blow away!"

"It's tricky!" gasped Elena, huffing and puffing as her little legs trundled across the playground in pursuit of her flowery hat.

"Okay so she is officially the cutest kid that isn't mine."

"Spoken like a true mama…." smiled Texas, turning her face to the sun and soaking up its warmth. "And you are one beautiful mama Eve."

"I'm really glad you guys could come with us today. These two aren't exactly the greatest company on a walk when they just nap the whole time!"

"Oh chica, how you will one day look back at their long naps and weep with how badly you miss your own company!"

"Leni's a regular little bundle of energy, huh?" laughed Eve warmly, as the little girl ran back to them having retrieved her hat. "You did it Leni! You got it, good job!"

"Two babies."

"That's right, mija, this is CJ and Livi, remember? They're tiny aren't they?"

"Toes…." noted Elena, fingering CJ's tiny little toenails thoughtfully.

"They're your cousins Leni, isn't that cool?" sitting CJ up slightly as he dozed she put an arm around Elena, drawing her closer to the baby and letting her stroke and fuss over him. "You get to be the big girl and take care of them, show them all the clever things you know how to do."

"Cousins?" said Texas, her eyes sparkling with emotion.

"That okay?" replied Eve, a little cautious she had overstepped. "I mean we've never, I guess, I just assumed…."

"No! No of course!" gasped Texas, apologetic she had inferred anything other than implicit joy. "It really just means so much Evie, you can't imagine. Now more than ever…."

"You're not on your own Texas….." said Eve, reaching down and laying a hand on top of Texas' on the bench as they sat beside one another, "…you're one of us. You and Leni are family."


"You're really wearing that dress over there Bambi."

"Oh yeah?" she sighed casually, glancing over her shoulder and throwing him her best simper. "Are you flirting with me Calvin Arliss?"

"Always."

"You're funny!"

"I am dead serious."

"Stop it!"

"I got a hot wife…." twisting his mouth to a mischievous smile Calvin sat slumped in his armchair, hands folded in his lap, "… wild fucking horses couldn't stop me flirting."

"Your language is foul."

"Your ass is like a juicy peach."

"Cal!" she couldn't be mad at him, she couldn't even manage to fake indignation. His little face was just too adorable, and his eyes were so full of love and kindness it made her heart ache. Closing her eyes she just laughed at him, her heart full as she opened her eyes and groaned, "Here, make yourself useful, come put this on me will you?"

"Jewels as well as lipstick, we're going all out tonight."

"You're wearing a shirt with a collar, heck you're wearing chinos baby…." she teased, because Calvin's wardrobe barely stretched outside of jeans or uniform unless under duress, "… voluntarily!"

"Hey, hey, I can be a smart boy!"

"Yes you can…." she said softly, waiting for him to fasten the clasp of her necklace before turning around slowly in his arms, "… and I sure still fancy the pants off you."

"Are we good? Are we hitting the road? Mom and Dad date night a-go?"

"I got at least three hours till I next need to pump and every second of that is all yours."

"Wow, that is…" wide eyed and pulling a comical face Calvin added, "… wow, but I guess weirdly romantic."

"I think they call it parenthood…." with an exaggerated shrug she mimicked his silly face and grabbed her purse, "… come on, let's go, Mama needs her carbonara!"

"Hey, hey Bambi, wait a second?"

"What?" asked Eve with an offhand toss of her hand as she lingered in the doorway. She suited that green, he thought, admiring her dress and marvelling at how she was managing to walk in her heels let alone dance around at a hundred miles an hour the way she always did. "Cal?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"A lot of things. All of them good and none one of which I can think of how to say right now."

"Huh?" she giggled, wrinkling her nose and shaking her head. "You're a funny boy sometimes you know that?"

"You look beautiful…." he said with a quiet, gravity and a sincerity that went far beyond their earlier flirtation. "I am the luckiest man alive Evie Grace."


"It is time Elliot; we can't dance around this anymore."

"Do you have any idea what even talking about this stuff does to me? I can barely stand to stay in this room with you right now while you talk like that."

"You think this is easy for me?" asked Olivia, a little sad, a little indignant. "I know you're scared El. Trust me, when I say that I know. I know because I'm on the other end of this and I have every bit as much to lose. We're both going under the knife next week, remember?"

"It took us a long time to get here, Liv."

"I know….." she prickled, her brown eyes hot stones as she knew just exactly what he was thinking, "… I was there. Every damn step of the way."

"I can't lose you."

"I can't go into this with you already convinced I'm going to die on that table!"

"Olivia!"

"Well?" she shot back, without missing a beat and thudding her coffee mug down on the kitchen counter. "That's what all this is, right? That's what you're thinking? That's why you are moping around this house wearing sweats and a frown as deep as the ocean and talking to me like I am a grenade with the pin pulled."

"You don't get it, do you?"

"Get whatElliot?" she yelled, her face a picture of thundering fury. "What?"

"I'm not scared Olivia I'm terrified. I'm petrified out of my damn mind."

"I'm sorry, I know, I…."

For the first time, ever, stood right there in their kitchen she got a glimpse of an Elliot Stabler who was beginning to look his age. His hair was greyed, so short now there was only a snow dusting at the sides of his head and at receded temples. He had gained a little weight, and though his muscles and general fitness remained it had added a warmth to his face that was once all jawline and anger. One thing that would never change, however, were those eyes; those precious piercing blue eyes of his that burned for and adored her.

"It's a selfish fear, honestly. I'm scared for us all. I see our kids, how they look to you for everything. You're their moon and stars, their gravity. In different ways for Calvin and for Tex but the roots are just as deep. Fin, Melinda, my kids; you're the centre of everything, of all of it."

"El…."

"But the part that keeps me up at night, the part that really just takes my breath away. No theatrics, no hyperbole, you know that isn't me."

"No, no it isn't."

"I cannot live without you Olivia Benson."

"Oh love…." she whispered, walking quickly around the kitchen counter and stroking at his chest. Feeling his hands encircle her waist and squeeze her tight she kissed at his neck.

"I'm serious." Drawing away he stared down at her, locking her gaze and swallowing a solid wedge in his throat, "You dare leave me."

"I will fight harder than you know not to."

"I'd like to say I'm a strong enough man. A strong enough father. That I'd be there for the kids, that I'd push through it and rebuild, but I don't believe it. I built my life around you, you're all there is for me. From the moment we first met you were all there ever was or ever would be. I'm not strong, Olivia, I never was. My weakness was what brought us together in the first place and while I don't regret one minute of any of it I'm not stupid enough to pretend that you've always been the strong one. You've held grace and courage and kindness in the face of things most people can't even imagine. You gotta do it once more, Liv, just one more time. You gotta hold the line, you gotta hang on, you gotta go into this with your fists up and…."

"I will, I will, I promise."

"We're right behind you, all of us, and I'm leading the freakin' parade. You're not a grenade, I'm not convinced you're gonna die on the table. Don't you get it? I'm convinced that you can't…." shaking his head slowly he just loved her, in that moment, in the purest and most unconditional and tender way and it made Olivia's heart ache, "… I need you to damn much."

"I need you too. I need you too Elliot and you're not weak, love. Don't you get it? Don't you see that you're where I get all my strength from? That you are the first man I ever truly gave all of myself to, every part of me? Who I trusted completely and let myself love in a way I never thought possible? I say let, like I had a choice…." rising to her tiptoes she kissed his lips softly, stroking at his grey sideburns tenderly and whispering, "… which was never true with us. There was no choice, not from the second we met. We were just meant to be."

"Meant to be."

"Which is why I have zero plans to leave you Elliot Stabler. Next week, next month, or for a very, very long time. I just think that we'd be reckless and selfish as parents not to at least acknowledge that it is possible and to make ensure that everything legally and financially is put to bed before we both simultaneously go under general anaesthetic."

"You're right, of course….." he smiled, sad but admiring of how she was selfless and thinking of everyone else even now, "… as always."

"Oh and I want that noted in writing!" she quipped, and they both laughed.