Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit off of Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment, etc.

A/N: I don't see this as changing Stephenie Meyer's canon storyline really, so I wouldn't call it AU, per se. The events might conflict with a few minorplot details from SM's universe. Characters may be a touch OOC at times.

Edward never really 'freaked out' after New Moon and the vote, so I figured he should get the chance. Everyone needs the chance to have a meltdown when things go wrong, don't they? Bella had a meltdown for a whole book, after all.

The title of this chapter means "obstinately resistant to authority or control." And again, I have no actual knowledge of medicines or medical procedures.

Chapter 4: Refractory


All the while Edward lost himself in thought, Debussy spurred my own mind to reflect upon what issues I had to address when we headed over to Charlie's house. A lot of things would need to be discussed and I wasn't sure how long Edward's patience would hold out once he realized all of the slightly darker aspects Carlisle and I had talked about. No matter what happened, I wanted and needed to get everything out, particularly my feelings about all the topics, before Edward lost his cool.

A couple of things were simply impossible to tell Edward about. The state I would be in after the transformation was one of those things. And I certainly could not tell Edward about my nightmares. He would blame himself for the rest of the century if he knew about them. Unfortunately he already knew about the Volturi nightmare I'd had in the wee hours on Monday. As for the rest, he just wasn't going to know about them.

Other than those particular items, there was a lot to discuss. How I was going to organize all of it seemed like a wild impossibility, but I was going to try nonetheless. I could go according to days or possibly according to subject, despite the fact that a lot of the conversations with Carlisle were kind of unrelated... Or, if I really wanted to be careful with how I went about it, I might be able to categorize by the level of toxicity any given subject would incite in Edward. From this, I would be able to determine whether Edward could handle the hard stuff first or required the easy points to mollify his temper before hearing worse information.

The long list of subjects and the hierarchy of corresponding reactions occupied my brain for a while, until I finally dozed off on Edward's shoulder, presumably from mental exhaustion. It seemed to be a dreamless sleep at first, but then I found myself listening to Edward saying, "I guessed you might call later today."

I could just barely make out what he was saying, even through the hazy fog that clung to my dream. Apparently he didn't know I was there, impossible as that sounded, or else I doubted he would be speaking quite so audibly; his voice was low, but clear.

"That just now occurred to you?" Edward sarcastically replied. Easily enough I pictured his typical eye-roll accompanying the words. Silence filled my dream, Edward's breathing and my own the only thing I heard for some time.

"Do you?" he finally said doubtfully to whomever he was speaking with. Frowning inwardly, I tried to think who might be on the other end. Alice?

"You seem rather good at that," he retorted coldly. Definitely not Alice, but who?

Edward sighed tiredly after a few moments and it sounded as though he deflated quite a bit. "No, he's not here," he wearily reassured the unknown person.

"I know," he told them placatingly. "Trust me, I understand that much... Yes, but... You have to understand, that's not how she sees it..."

Increasingly confused, I was now very curious as to who 'she' could possibly be.

"Oh..." came slowly from Edward. His tone was particularly disturbed. "I see... Are you absolutely positive?"

Another lengthy silence filled Edward's end of the call, this one even longer than the first one.

"Forgive me," Edward said after awhile, "but I very much hope you're wrong..."

I started from sleep some time later and quickly recognized I was now being held against Edward's chest like precious cargo. A sort of desperation overshadowed the comfort of the embrace. The feeling was incredibly mild and subdued, yet poignant nonetheless.

"Bella," he prompted me cautiously. The same feeling was present in his voice and it troubled me.

"Edward," I responded a little sluggishly, but shook my self into full awareness. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Only forty minutes," he explained.

"Oh. Ok-kay," I yawned out. Chuckling at my reaction, Edward's strong arms pulled me in tighter. In the pending quiet, I stretched more comfortably across his chest and tucked my head up under his chin.

It was extremely comfortable, until, "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you're ready to have that discussion?" he asked tentatively, ostensibly afraid he was asking for too much from me.

"Of course!" I responded pleasantly, now awake enough not to yawn the words, and looked up at his angelic face. "You want to go now?"

"Sure," he nodded. "I know it's especially important to you."

"Yeah," I nodded solemnly in concurrence and sat up with Edward's helping hands. "Carlisle told me a bunch of important stuff."

Edward smiled a bit, but looked irritable.

"I just need a jacket and umbrella..." One swift breeze and the requested items were in my lap before I'd gotten up from the sofa. Part of me liked it, but the other part of me hated the coddling. It was a hard balance to strike. "Um... thanks, but that wasn't necessary."

Once again, Edward appeared agitated. Deciding not to make a big deal of it yet, I set the jacket and umbrella to the side before I stood up, stretching.

"Let's just tell Carlisle really quick," I suggested with a tiny smile at Edward. "I want him to know we're heading over there."

"Bella, he can hear us as we speak," Edward informed me a tad more peevishly than I felt was necessary. "You don't need to tell him anything."

"It's called manners, Edward," I retorted just as agitatedly, glaring slightly. "You know, something people from your time were supposed to be raised with?"

Leaving him to flounder at that remark, I headed down the stairs of the white house. My destination was Carlisle's office and my purpose was to let him know we would be leaving for a while. I didn't feel comfortable leaving without saying a temporary goodbye. Finally reaching the closed door of the room I was heading to, I couldn't even knock before Carlisle's soothing voice bid me enter.

"Come in, Bella," he said gently, calmly, giving no hint as to what he thought of my words with Edward in the main room.

I only pulled the door open far enough to pop my head in, finding Carlisle working at a slow speed on his paperwork. Seeing him so obviously attempting to fill empty time, I felt badly for leaving him alone. "Hey. Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know we were going over to Charlie's house for a little while."

"You are not interrupting anything, my dear," he reassured me with a smile in my direction. "Thank you for telling me. Please put on something dry and warm when you get there. This weather is clearly rather nasty. I do not want you falling ill."

"I will." I laughed at his worrying, but took the suggestion to heart. Getting sick was not on my list of things to do. "And I'll throw on a blanket, too, if you want."

Carlisle's chuckle rumbled in his chest as he waved me away congenially, obviously remembering our last conversation about warmth and blankets. Edward waited at the top of the staircase, obvious in his attempt to oversee my return walk downstairs. In those couple of moments I spoke with Carlisle, Edward's irritation had not disappeared, although I could also see anticipation in his eyes.

"You're actually prepared for this?" I asked while we headed down to the first level, pleasantly surprised by his apparent enthusiasm. "I mean, you're going to keep a cool head about it all?"

"I will certainly attempt to do so, yes," Edward nodded his agreement, brow slightly furrowed and his agitation more apparent than ever. (Whatever was eating at him, I hoped he would get over it before our conversation took place.)

Unhappy with the way he emphasized 'attempt', I knew I was going to have to be forceful with Edward. "Well, that's not good enough for me."

"What?" he abruptly questioned, looking stunned indeed at my blunt refusal. His eyebrows reached somewhere about halfway up his forehead. Both of us stopped in the middle of the living room.

"You have to swear to me," I explained my wishes refractorily, "that you will hear everything, that you will talk through your feelings about everything with me, and that you will not leave my side until you stop being ticked off about whatever we discuss."

"And if I refuse this vow?" he asked, all the while grinding his teeth audibly. His eyes were headed towards a darker gold, I could see. Restricting his reactions was probably not something he ever expected me to do.

"Then I won't tell you about any of it," I countered smoothly, still glaring, but knowing I had the upper hand. To mark my determination, I sat on the sofa so as to wait. "At all, at any time, ever. I won't even answer a single question you have about the weekend with Carlisle or even the past few days. I'm tired of you running off all mad about something and making people feel like horrible beasts just because you can't control your temper."

Fierce indignation simmered on Edward's face, but as much as I hated that particular expression, I knew what was more important at the present time.

"Repeat after me?" I half-asked, half-demanded and he at last sat with me. Only grudgingly did his ice-cold hand rise in a time-old gesture of oath-taking. If I wasn't so serious about the issue, I might have laughed at this absurd undertaking.

"I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I prompted him firmly.

"I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," came his growling echo, either very angry with me or very amused.

I didn't much like either of those options, but kept on in spite of it, "...do solemnly swear on the soul of Bella Swan..."

Edward snarled loudly enough to make me jump and he was up and pacing in seconds.

"You have got to be joking, Bella!" he exclaimed loudly, glancing at me in disbelief. "As terrible as I would consider your sense of humor to be, at least I could live with it! It would make sense in some maniacal way!"

After a few more rounds on the hardwood, he stopped to face me from the foot of the sofa I sat on. We ended up glaring hotly at each other, neither backing down, when I spoke again, "You're the one who's always arguing about my soul. You want to put so much emphasis on it? Then I'll do the same."

"I do it because I want to protect you!" came his half-roar. His eyes were now black and furious. "I do it because I want your soul to remain whole and untainted!"

"Then it's not something you want to break an oath over, is it?" I persisted loudly as I slipped off of the white cushion to stand with my left shoulder facing the stairs, arms crossed over my chest in a mixture of defensiveness and irritation. Mainly I was irritated because my eyes were starting to water; I did not need angry tears to make me look weak.

Out of pure frustration, Edward practically howled to the room at large, "Your soul is more important than some JUVENILE OATH!"

Truthfully, his volume was a bit frightening. If I didn't know he loved me, I might have been scared stiff. It reminded me of the night I asked for the Cullens' vote on my mortality and Edward had held my chin to keep me from talking to Carlisle about his promise.

Just when I wanted to respond, a slight noise from the stairway brought both of our heads swinging around to face the astonished Cullen patriarch.

"I didn't mean to intrude," were his first hesitant words. He floundered a bit and swallowed hard as he continued, "Edward was rather... boisterous. I was worried and rushed down, but as I stepped onto the stairs, I actually listenedto what you were saying... It was a bit late to back out at that point, however. You... you heard the noise... I..."

Poor Carlisle. I had never, ever seen him ramble like this; not this true, heedless babbling without considering his words. The golden-haired vampire looked so bewildered and concerned, I wanted to just shut up and stop arguing immediately. Edward, on the other hand, seemed to regain the morbidity and moodiness of earlier – only now it was multiplied tenfold. A low rumbling growl in his chest informed me Edward was about to overreact and make a serious, detrimental mistake. One I wasn't entirely positive he would be able to fix.

"Edward," I headed him off sharply, drawing his angry eyes to mine. "Don't. You. Dare."

A heated look filled his eyes as he glanced between me and an increasingly uncomfortable Carlisle; it was a look I did not understand in the least. Fighting what looked to be a fierce internal battle, Edward eventually slumped. His glower became fixated on his now-resigned father.

"Finish the damn oath," he muttered towards me, never taking his eyes off of Carlisle.

Infuriated by his attitude, but knowing when he would not budge, I went on with my strange vow, "Fine... do you swear on my soul that no matter what, you will hear out everything I have to say, discuss your feelings about it all with me, remain by side until I feel you are no longer bad-tempered, and not attack Carlisle for telling me?"

"That one's new." Edward's voice was awfully malicious and I could only stare at him in worry.

"Do you swear it? All of it?"

"On your soul," he repeated mockingly. Still, he wouldn't look at me. Nevertheless satisfied, I nodded once and turned to Carlisle to ensure he wouldn't run off somewhere in dejection.

"Carlisle, I want to talk to you whenever I get back. Is that okay?"

"Yes, of course, Bella," he assured me quietly, passing a quick glance my way, but avoiding Edward's threatening gaze and disappearing again. Turning back to my idiotic boyfriend, I glared at him until he huffed audibly and came to pull me out the door. It was very familiar to how he'd dragged me to the car after getting me out of gym the previous year and it was frustrating. Not to mention I tripped twice in only the three first steps. I tried to pull my arm away, but he did not relent.

"I thought this was important." Edward's sarcasm was grating and stinging. He wasn't normally like that. Something really had to be bothering him for him to act in such a way towards me.

"Not so important that you drag me around like a puppet!" I said with a deep frown, still vainly attempting to pull away and stand on my own two feet, no matter how unstable they might typically be.

"Knock it off!" I finally snapped with annoyance, trying to yank my arm away from his iron grip as we came to the front door.

"Edward!" Carlisle's voice rang out from behind us. Glancing back, I could see the stunned fury in his eyes, which were solid black to match Edward's.

Barely reacting, Edward opened the door for us to leave, but halted so abruptly I was thrown into his hard side and the backlash sent me tumbling to the floor. He was plainly too distracted to notice the grip he still had on my arm. To my eternal gratitude, Carlisle was at my side and keeping me upright, forehead wrinkled in severe concern. This appeared to downright infuriate Edward, but then his expression went far above distracted. At whatever was going through his father's mind, Edward dropped my arm as thought he'd been burned and strode off to get in the car without looking back. By the way he slammed the driver's side door, I figured he at least dented it, if not outright totaled the frame.

"Damaging the car won't fix anything," I remarked tonelessly, not really knowing what I was saying as I stared at the open front door. To add to the shock, I could hear the car come to life and the sound of the motor moving further and further away from the house. Edward had left. Just left without saying anything.

"Are you all right?" Carlisle questioned worriedly and settled me on my feet, but did not let go of my waist. "You're arm?"

Little came to mind in the way of intelligent responses, so I stuck to the basic facts. "I'm fine. Just... just..."

Shocked, confused, mad, hurt, lost...? This day was not going at all how I had hoped. At that point, I pretty much did not want to ever have the discussion with Edward. Would he even listen? To my chagrin, tears started to fill my eyes. Not the kind from anger, either.

"Bella," Carlisle breathed, his tone all sympathy. "Sit down for a moment. Let me... I... Shall I try to call him back?"

Shaking my head numbly, I allowed him to seat me gently on one of the white sofas. I could hardly think straight, though I did attempt to hold in my tears. One question resounded in my head. What was wrong with Edward? There had to be a reason for his entirely irrational behavior. We had been perfectly fine before the call from Charlie. Well, before I had fallen asleep actually... A sinking sensation filled me. Had there really been a phone call? Maybe it had not been a dream, after all.

"He was on the phone with someone," I spoke aloud while staring at the floor, hoping to make some sense of the drowsy memory.

"What?" Carlisle queried, bewildered.

"When I was dozing," I went on blankly. "I thought I was dreaming, but... He must have talked to someone and... And what? What could have made him act like that, Carlisle?"

Finally allowing my eyes to meet his, I found them lighter (though not much) and filled with utter pity for me. "I do not know. I wish I did. Truly, I do."

We merely sat there after that – two hurt and confused people in a family chock full of them – and made no attempts to speak. There was little else to be said and I had no more energy to contemplate what the foggy phone call had meant.

Just when I felt like curling up against Carlisle's side and crying my eyes out, something caused Carlisle's head to snap up, wide-eyed and hopeful. Stilling to see the outcome, I was disappointed to watch him rapidly deflate back into sadness.

"The jeep," he informed me with a heavy sigh. "It must be Alice."

"Maybe she knows something that can help," I commented bleakly, though all I could remember were Alice's words on the day before. He nodded, giving me a weak smile and a pat on the shoulder.

"Well, the idiot has truly done it this time," Alice's icy voice preceded her as she entered the house and shut the front door. When I saw her face on the opposite sofa, I felt the same hurt bubbling up from Wednesday and couldn't look her in the eyes.

Alice sighed, grumbled something I could not hear (whatever it was, it made Carlisle chuckle dimly), then spoke again, "Bella, I have a confession to make."

I didn't say anything, but continued to stare at my lap in silence. Gratitude flooded me when Carlisle took my hand in a reassuring hold and answered for me, "Go on, Alice."

"Everything that happened on Wednesday with Rosalie..." she began hesitantly, but suddenly burst forth with the rest of her explanation at top human speed, "Oh, forget tact! I planned it Bella. I thought it would give you both some time to build up a better relationship with Rosalie, but then it didn't work out how I thought it would. I'm still not sure why it didn't, but I may never know. And you honestly picked the worst time to call later that night. When Jazz called I was still outside of the forest, but I didn't answer your phone calls because I was dealing with the damn wildfire at the time and... and... oh..."

Slowly, very slowly, I raised my eyes to lock gazes with Alice, stunned she had let that out. Was it part of a plan? But her mouth was working and nothing was coming out and her eyes were wider than dinner plates. No, this was not a plan. It was a mistake. After everything that she had been concealing, rerouting, and planning, Alice finally lost track of something.

Chancing a glance over at Carlisle, I wanted to slap a palm to my face. Needless to say he was unimaginably gobsmacked. Had his eyes gone any larger or his jaw any lower, I didn't know what would have happened. And now my hand was trapped in his frozen fingers.

"Are you telling me..." he started to say in a highly strangled voice, unable to finish. Moments passed like that until he groaned loudly. "Esme, Rose, and you... You silly... You foolish, irresponsible... Urgh!"

Considering one of the most articulate men in the world had been reduced to saying 'urgh' and slapping his forehead, I guessed he was exceedingly annoyed. Alice sat opposite him, looking undeniably like a misbehaving five-year-old, and the whole situation seemed impossibly funny of a sudden. Out of the blue, laughter bubbled up out of my throat. Hysterical perhaps, but laughter nonetheless. Clutching my stomach with my free hand, I doubled over mine and Carlisle's intertwined hands in some strange sort of humor I was incapable of stopping.

"Um... Bella?" Alice asked, quite perplexed and honestly sounding frightened for me. "Are you okay?"

Trying desperately to get a grip on myself, I repeatedly squeezed Carlisle's freezing cold hand as if I could remind myself to be serious. When the laughter turned to gasps and tears, I knew I had a problem. Double sighs of abrupt understanding flared above my bent head and within a millisecond, Carlisle had me bundled up in his arms and under his chin, my eyes belatedly focusing on the stairs.

"Sweetheart, please calm down," Carlisle did his best to soothe me, rubbing my back and rocking me, but I could not be eased. Through the noise of my crying, I heard Alice talking on the phone just out of my hearing. Jasper, probably.

Or so I thought, until Alice shouted into the receiver, "It's YOUR FAULT, you stupid fool!"

It had to be Edward on the line. And that fact made me cry even harder. I heard something snap and crumble nearby, but was unable to identify it.

"Carlisle, let me use your phone," Alice practically ordered through a thick growl.

"My office," he informed her quietly, still doing his utmost to help me calm down. "Bring my bag down, please."

Alice never answered, but soon reentered the room and sat in front of me on the sofa, the aforementioned medical bag in hand. "Purple label?"

"No," Carlisle sighed above my head, "I prefer not to risk addiction. I only used that on Sunday because I feared she would enter cardiac arrest. The blue label will do, it is very mild."

Closing my eyes against what I guessed was coming, I was therefore surprised when Carlisle did not immediately swab my arm.

"Bella, can you take this pill?" he asked softly, kissing my head apologetically.

"Only the one, Bella," Alice assured me calmly, taking my free hand in hers. With my other one, I still grasped Carlisle's. "Jasper will be able to help you soon enough."

My face was thoroughly wet with more coming down every minute, but I lifted my head slightly to accept a sip of water and the small white pill in the doctor's hand. Swallowing convulsively, I winced as it went down hard.

"How far is he?" Carlisle asked Alice.

"Fifteen miles. After I saw Edward leave, I knew Jasper would probably be needed. I called him on my way here. Peter and Charlotte were a little annoyed with him anyway." She shrugged delicately, a little frown gracing her features. "There was a bit of trouble with the hotel manager where Jasper was staying. They explained their eyes as costume contacts, but he wasn't too sure, so they were going to... well, you know... Jasper smoothed it over instead, but they didn't much like his inaction."

"They are not used to choosing human life over vampire in those situations," Carlisle agreed, nodding against my hair. "It must be hard for Jasper to keep tensions low when he is with them."

"They can keep their tensions," Alice retorted through gritted teeth. "Just because Jasper has a moral code now..."

The conversation was so absurdly unreal, so completely inhuman, and yet I would have found it fascinating under normal circumstances. This was the kind of information Edward always tried to hide from me. Anything that was too deep into the supernatural world.

Other, far less intriguing subjects passed for casual conversation between Carlisle and Alice while we waited for Jasper to arrive. When he did, I could immediately feel his ability seeping the weepy atmosphere away like a rain shower. The pill Carlisle had given me had stopped my gasping wails, but never slowed the tears on my cheeks. Now that Jasper was helping out, the trails of salty wet began to lose steam.

"Thanks, Jazz," Alice sighed in relief, "We all needed that, I think."

Before I could wonder where Jasper was, he stood beside us with his hand on mine and Carlisle's. The difference between his power when he was touching and not touching became instantaneously apparent, as now my eyes just stopped running altogether.

"Thank you," I murmured, closing my eyes just to feel the relief for a moment.

"You're welcome," came his low baritone.

"What now?" he went on to say, sounding as downtrodden as I felt.

"We wait," Alice and Carlisle replied in unison.

"For what?" I asked blearily, my eyes feeling very heavy for the second time that day.

Gravely, Alice answered, "Whoever comes home first."

Wincing at whatever she saw that made her tone of voice so utterly dire, I groaned and turned my face into Carlisle's shoulder. Shaking my head minutely over the whole rotten situation, I simply mumbled, "I hate this."

"So do we, Bella," Alice confirmed, one of many sighs escaping her. "So do we."

"Knowing your distress, I hate to bring this up," Carlisle began tentatively, but trailed off with great uncertainty.

Keeping my head exactly where it was, I encouraged him, "Go on."

"Whatever occurs later today will not be an enjoyable experience for anyone," he began again, and from his voice I could only imagine he was running an agitated free hand through his golden hair, "but if you're exhausted after the argument with Edward today, I think you will feel even less inclined to it than that."

"In other words," I sighed deeply, finally deciding to pull my head up to look at his dark eyes, "you want me to sleep again?"

"Very much so," he nodded resignedly and apologetically at the same time. "I find it hard to believe you have not worn yourself down considerably after your outburst."

"I don't know if I can." My voice was so quiet it would not have been heard by human ears.

"I could help," offered Jasper. After a pause, he mischievously added, "If you don't yell at me like the last time I tried, that is."

For one moment, I was quite confused as to what he meant, but a memory of our time in the Phoenix hotel room sprung up and I vaguely recalled snapping at Jasper that I didn't want to sleep. "Oh. Sorry. I was... well, I guess you know as well as I do."

Chuckling dryly, he said, "Yes, I suppose I do know."

"I don't mind this time," I admitted blandly. Carlisle wasn't far off the mark; I did feel exhausted. Every time I felt better about our circumstances, something seemed to go wrong. None of the three commented on my words, but I could quickly feel lethargy creeping in and my eyelids closing slowly and steadily.

No sooner did I nod off, it seemed, than a furious voice, harsh but obviously beautiful, starred in my dreams. It was most certainly not Edward's voice, nor was it even masculine in any way. The voice I heard was definitely feminine, but it was not filled with any of Esme's kindness or Alice's perkiness. It could only be Rosalie who sounded so horridly ungracious. I briefly wondered just how many times my dreams would include the arguments and tempests of my vampire family, but decided it would take too long to count.

Feeling worn and agitated by Rosalie's seemingly perpetual bad mood – added on top of all the other dilemmas – I was not in a friendly mood upon finding Rosalie engaged in a (hopefully only verbal) spar with someone just outside of my blurred peripheral vision. Even if it was a dream, the constant in-fighting was painful to watch. Turning upward with a barely-audible sound that was part-groan and part-grumble, I was startled to find myself in Edward's arms on the sofa. My dreams were so real sometimes that it scared me. Even in my imaginary world, he had returned from his wild tantrum and was holding me close. His brow was almost nonexistent because it was so deeply furrowed as he listened to the words I was still fighting to comprehend. The dream was very fuzzy still.

Slightly glazed though my eyes were, I could make out Jasper and Emmett standing off to my right, both looking uncomfortable, but Jasper looking more deadly than I was used to in recent weeks. I didn't want to know what he was feeling from the other three vampires in the room. Rosalie alone could corner the market on angry outbursts.

When the blur cleared at last, I almost wished it had not cleared at all. Rosalie just didn't quit, apparently. How on earth the blonde had ever fit into this family before Emmett was a mystery to me. Even with him here, she clearly did not present a pleasant picture with anyone, but for Esme and Emmett. Esme must have been a miracle-worker of some kind.

I did not normally feel so unforgiving toward the blonde vampire, but the previous afternoon's argument had lessened my tolerance a notch or two, even in a dream, and did not improve my feelings towards her. Nor did her show of temper – directed entirely towards Carlisle, as I finally saw – do her any favors from my perspective. How many times was Carlisle going to take the blame for life's misfortunes before she left him alone?

"Never would I wish such a thing to occur," came a reply full of weary resignation from Carlisle, whose face was especially downhearted. "Never, Rosalie."

"Ever the sanctimonious one," Rosalie growled low in her chest and the sound was able to raise hairs on the back of my neck. It seemed that of anything, the blonde had been building up to this specific point most thoroughly and only now would she come straight out with it. "You would never risk losing your precious firstborn, given the choice!"

Although it was barely implied in her vague words, I sensed that Rosalie was not referring to a simple choice of Edward's life over a stranger's. No, it was so much deeper than that… She was accusing Carlisle of holding Edward's life in higher esteem than that of his other children, if ever given such a despicable choice to make.

What a way to enter the conversation, I couldn't help thinking. Even if I'd heard nothing else, I knew Rosalie was wrong just by that statement. How the perfectly beautiful vampire could come to this conclusion stumped me totally. Carlisle loved every single one of his children and would die inside if any of them were to meet their end. The thought of Edward's initial purpose in Volterra several weeks ago came to mind with a vengeance. I tried to imagine one of the others in his place and shivered violently at the thought. Even Rosalie, destroyed as Edward might have been, would kill Carlisle. Esme and the others would keep Carlisle (and Emmett, I vainly hoped) surviving, but he would never be the same if he lost any of his surrogate children. The idea was ludicrous and insensitive.

It came to me in that moment... I suddenly realized I was reacting in real time to the blonde. To my stinging realization, I was not dreaming. This was a very real situation.

A hot flash of anger reared up in me at Rosalie's cruel accusation, particularly seeing as it was real and not a figment of my imagination. My tongue leaped far ahead of my rational mind before I even blinked.

"That's a lie!" I retorted hotly, eyes narrowed furiously at the blonde from within the grip of Edward's arms. Five heads whipped around to look at me incredulously for my outburst. Edward tightened his arms and his body tensed to spring with me – out of his sister's angry reach, probably. The fact registered dimly, only slightly toning down my attitude. "You know it damn well, but you're just too bitter to accept it. You're too selfish to see he was trying to give you the chance to live."

"I didn't want this life!" Rosalie shouted back, teeth bared and eyes wildly angry. "It wasn't a gift to take away my choice! He had no right! No right to force this miserable existence on me! Hewas the selfish one!"

"Carlisle thought he could give you what he never had," I responded quietly, pale after hearing the blatant words of rejection spewed from her mouth. Edward's tense hands were almost molded into my arms, he was holding me so tightly.

"What?" came the violent snarl from Rosalie, disbelief etched into her features.

"He gave you love."

Before Rosalie could overcome her shock and spout more of her tirade, I continued, "When he changed you, you were given people to love you and spend their lives with you, people to appreciate you for who you really are and love you no matter what. And Carlisle gave it to you."

Bewildered though I was by Edward's apparent turnaround in attitude, the conspicuous absence of Esme, the length of time for which I had been asleep, and a mass of other unmanageable pieces of information, I ignored it all until the current debate was settled. I knew better than to think Rosalie would let this go without a fight.

It was to my absolute amazement, then, that the vampire in question merely gave me look mixed of slight pity, ultimate frustration, and intense calculation. She said not a single word more, however, and disappeared from the room.

I had not noticed in the middle of my rant, but Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward were frozen in surprise. It took a minute for them to pull themselves together, but when they did, Emmett gazed at me with renewed interest in his amber eyes and something akin to life, small thought it was. I didn't know precisely how my words had affected him, but it must have been good enough to bring him hope for improvement in his family.

"Bella, I will be back to talk with you. I need to have a few words with Rosalie," Edward explained slowly and quietly through clenched teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose, and I knew immediately that in spite of whatever had plagued him earlier that day and his own anger for Carlisle's broken promises, his blonde sister had crossed a line here. That line looked to be one that a Cullen simply should not cross, no matter how angry they were with Carlisle. Edward kissed me lightly, driving my confusion up about four notches higher, and then took an unnecessary deep breath to keep his composure before he slipped outside after Rosalie, Emmett not far behind.

"Would you go up and try to talk with Carlisle?" Jasper asked quietly, after an awkward pause. He must have been certain of Carlisle's distracted state to talk so plainly where the other vampire could easily hear. "I've no idea if he'll even listen to you, but it's possible that he might."

"What do I say?" I questioned nervously, unsure of what exactly would help the most.

"I don't know," the lean vampire answered me with a sigh. "This isn't something that anybody – except Emmett – can change Carlisle's mind about. You can only try to keep him from overreacting, really."

"Why Emmett?" I asked. Nothing was making sense now.

"Let's just say he wonders if Rosalie's assumptions might be correct, to some extent," Alice interceded delicately.

"What?" I yelped all too loudly, gaining warning glares from both vampires. Quieting down, I quickly ascertained one thing with deceptive calm.

"Where's Emmett now?"

With a tiny frown, Alice zoned out for a moment and came back to say, "Just outside. I think he heard what Jasper said about him and decided to listen."

Not bothering to reply, I scowled, marched (slipping only once, it may be said) over to the front door, wrenched it wide open, and furiously shouted, "EMMETT CULLEN!"

Alice and Jasper had to stifle their sudden snickers and snorts behind their hands, although they were rather unsuccessful. Emmett came inside, looking somewhat abashed. He had obviously still been listening in.

"Over there," I demanded fiercely, pointing at the sofa with a steely finger. The burly vampire followed my instruction instantaneously while Jasper and Alice still laughed themselves silly. I couldn't even reprimand them because I knew it must have felt good compared to the testy emotions running between us all. Rather than speak further, I acted on the idea that had flown into my mind a moment prior and reached into the same side table that housed the pad and pen I used to write Jasper a few days earlier.

On the pad I scribbled a brief instruction.

Head out, but stay close to the house. And LISTEN.

Emmett didn't appear to understand why I was not scolding him. Amused, I just handed over the first page from the pad of white paper. Comprehension crossed his face and he nodded before doing as I had asked.

"Is that all?" queried Jasper, plainly lost after that strange scene.

Alice interrupted once more, "Yes, now Bella is going to talk with Carlisle." She patted Jasper's confused face lovingly and dragged him to the door as well.

"I'll try," was all I could promise to their retreating backs, already anticipating a very emotional discussion with Edward after this talk with Carlisle. Pushing the thought of that hurdle away, I quickly stumbled upstairs to the office I had been visiting so often during my recent stays.

The door was closed, but even if Carlisle refused to admit me, I was going to go in there. Although, if he locked the door... Concerned that it might cross his mind, I made a snap decision to just walk in. My unmannerly appearance in the office hadn't even appeared to faze the man sitting in abject misery.

The golden-haired vampire's pose matched the exact one he had taken on the night Edward nearly confronted him out in the woods. Vulnerable and conflicted described the Cullen patriarch perfectly. Exhaling forcefully in an effort to dispel my doubts, I stepped up to the desk and perched precariously on the edge. Miraculously, I did not fall off or knock any of the desk's objects to the floor. Carlisle never even glanced toward me, not that I could see at least.

"Has she always felt that way?" I finally asked, keeping my voice low.

Shaking his head against his hands, he murmured, "I have no way of knowing, but I can only imagine that it is so. And poor Emmett... I do not know how or when I gave him that impression, but it pains me to think I ever did anything to make him believe that."

A great deal more must have happened before I had woken up and so effectively ended the argument with Rosalie. She must have said something about Emmett agreeing to her accusations.

"I don't think you did," I countered him soothingly, willing him to understand how Rosalie's bitterness had tainted Emmett's views. "Rosalie thinks a lot of things that aren't true. It must be hard for Emmett to believe she's wrong."

"But to believe..." Carlisle choked a bit on the words, then stopped attempting to speak, shaking his head again in despair.

"You love everyone in your family," I told him assuredly. "Obviously you would never want to lose any of them."

"Of course not!" Carlisle fervently concurred, finally lifting his head to glance at me. His eyes were watery, the extent of what a vampire's body could produce for tears. "I would never choose one over the other! They are all special to me. If given the choice between two of my children, I would sooner offer myself in boththeir steads!"

Shivering at the horrendous implication, I hoped vehemently Emmett, wherever he was, really listened to what had been said.

"Don't say that," I inserted fearfully, voice soft, reaching out for his cold hand. "Please, just don't say that."

"It is the truth," he persisted equally as softly, giving my hand a light squeeze and looking back down at his desktop. "Perhaps with effort, I will be able to convince Emmett of it."

"Emmett is listening right now," I confessed in a whisper.

Carlisle's head snapped up abruptly, staring at me like I had just yelled 'April Fools!'

"I knew he had to hear you say this." There was no way I would apologize for it, not when it would help them heal.

"I really did," came Emmett's voice, low but somehow renewed, from the doorway.

"Emmett, you must believe me," Carlisle insisted gently, the expression on his face pleading as he looked toward his burly son.

"I do, Dad," Emmett confirmed, voice undoubtedly sincere.

Glancing over my shoulder at last, I offered the big vampire an encouraging smile. It was one he barely returned, but he was trying. Maybe Emmett had not recovered even halfway yet, but he was going to get there one day soon.


A/N: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed Chapter 3: Restive!