Their separation extended on a daily basis over the next few weeks until they fell into a routine of being perfect strnagers to each left Sam to be the companion to Cas though they didnt call him that in his presence.
Dean liked to think Cas was having an identity crisis and he just needed the time to heal after the fall.
Sam knew the truth because he experienced the same not too many years was trying to deal with his new life and with that created a new personality for himself as a human,it was difficult for Cas to adjust than it was when the Leviathan riddeled his body or even when Naomi controlled his mind.
Dean thought Cas was delaying the inevitable by suppressing anything about his previous life but Sam knew it was Cas drawing a line through his old life instead of trying to comapre it to his new one.
Sam had a sneaky suspicion of his own that Cas was avoiding Dean to keep him from burdening him with his problems,because Cas kept referring to how 'Dean had too much burden on his shoulders as is'
A night hadnt passed whereby Cas didnt mention Deam in his conversations to Sam,sitting in his sick bed still not fully healed from the aborted nights Cas fell asleep with a smile on his face as Sam read to him from ancient favourite became the story of the two strong protagonists of Agamemnon and Acilles reminded him of the stubborness of Dean and Sam and the depiction of the Gods such as Zeus fascinated him.
Little did he know that the blanket he felt wrapped comfortably around his shoulders was put there by Dean during the caught Dean one night in the middle of his excursion while Sam snored softly in his bed.
Cerulean blue eyes still greyed from experiencing tragedy,watched Dean with the blanket midway around Cas's shoulders.
Dean stood stock still trying to pretend he wasnt caught but Cas grabbed his wrist to confirm his the lack of touch or whether Dean was feeling overly sensitive these days the sensation Cas's hand had on his wrist pulsated throughout his arm to the very heart of was momentarily dazed as was Cas it seemed as he mumbled
'Dean its you...the blanket every morning?'
Dean answered nonchalantly as was his usual false bravado.
'Yeah man,I mean don't want you catching your first human flu because of me'
The hidden meaning behind this statement wasnt lost on felt a tingle in the back of his mind -where the medulla oblongata is he presumes from what he has read in the anatomy books from the library – in what was referred to as Deja-vu when he remebered a very similar conversation about purgatory,Dean had a skewed perception of events as they felt responsible then for letting Cas down and he felt responsible now too.
'Dean nothing that's happened to me is your fault,you know..It's mine all of it is my fault'
'no Ca- I mean listen man I can wait if you still dont want to talk about it but I wont have you blaming yourself for everything ok'
Cas didnt want to lie anymore especially when his best friend was now attempting to soothe him,and comfort him when he should have been crucified like the firstborn son.
'Dean I didnt want to mention this because you have been so kind and accommodating but I find it harder to restrain myself ever day from telling you that-
'listen man I would always do that for my family again and again I will help you when you nedd it an-
'Dean,the fall...the night the angels were cast out of Heaven by Metatron, I...I was the trial the entire time... that locked the gates of Heaven'
