Years of time allowed Padmé to begin healing. She eventually progressed: thinking of Anakin only a few times a day instead a few times a minute. The incredible task of leading a rebellion kept her distracted as well as Clovis' pursuit of her. Padmé finally accepted his marriage proposal, hoping it would assist in her moving on. It didn't.
A future without the Jedi seemed hopeless. Clones would never amount to the strength the Jedi offered democracy. Now it was up to Padmé to protect the freedom of her people.
"How do you expect me to celebrate now?" The senator asked as Clovis brought their wedding up in conversation once again. Padmé refused to even set a date. Not when people of the galaxy were suffering, not when her heart was still with a deceased Jedi.
Padmé sped down the halls, on her way to another meeting, Rush close behind her. Clovis failed to get his wife's attention but a large boom easily did. Everyone in the Capitol building froze. There was silence before an entire tower crashed to the ground, subject to a blaster cannon. Padmé's heart began racing.
"Where are the clones?!" She demanded.
Years passed of Obi-Wan and Anakin being stuck on a planet that lacked any life besides their own. Three years have passed since the Jedi had fallen. Not a day went by where Anakin didn't think about Padmé. Every once in a while, Anakin and Obi-Wan would briefly go on the ships data pads to see how the war was going. Trying to avoid being on too long, not wanting to get caught.
Anakin hated sitting around and watching the war happen, but Obi-Wan and him trained every day for when the time was finally coming.
"Alright, we are going back." Obi-Wan declared and stood up from the rock he had been sitting on for the last hour, trying to meditate.
Anakin perked up, "What? Really?"
"I can't stand being on this planet for another day with only you as my company. Your impatience has influenced my decision making." Obi-Wan smiled softly.
"You've been here three years. I spent the first nine years of my life on this planet." Anakin frowned, "But at least I will be able to shave finally." He scratched the scruff that had grown on his face over time.
The Jedi got on the ship they came on three years ago. They knew exactly where the rebel base was and were more or less up to speed on what they were fighting for. Anakin smiled as they went into hyperspace and reached the planet soon after.
They landed the ship and managed to reach the base seconds before it was attacked.
"Looks like we came out of hiding at the right time." Anakin smirked and started fighting the troopers.
Once they got into the base, they parted ways down two hallways. Anakin walked swiftly and heard Padmé's voice. He knew it was hers.
Padmé watched an imperial fleet land in the distance before Clovis grasped her hand and tugged her further down the hallway.
"We have to help! Where do we keep blasters?" Padmé protested but Rush insisted on her safety, something she had little concern for. If she were to die, she would die for her greatest surviving passion and she would join whatever universe her love had already entered.
Padmé broke away from Clovis and darted down the hall, colliding with someone she glanced to in apology. What should have been a quick glance turned into a stare.
Was I hit already? Have I died?
Sure enough, she reached to touch him again and Anakin Skywalker stood before Padmé Amidala. Still, she doubted such.
"Wh-"
Anakin was a Jedi and could see slightly into the future, but he was so distracted by where Padmé's voice was coming from, that he didn't see her coming until she ran into him. He caught her in a startled motion and looked down relieved. She was alive.
However, right now wasn't the time to catch up. "Come with me." Anakin guided her down different halls until they reached an abandoned room to hide. Obi-Wan and Anakin agreed that their goal was to protect her after hearing a stormtrooper specifically looking for and targeting Padmé.
The Jedi was relieved to be safe and reunited with his angel, forgetting how things ended. "You're alive." Anakin breathed out in relief. "I've missed you so much."
The reality of Anakin's presence settled more with each step he led Padmé down the hall. Her heart broke at the reminder of the pain his words and 'death' had put her through as well as at the humiliation of knowing she was still so deeply in love with him and these were feelings he never reciprocated.
Finally the two reached a hideaway and between breaths, Anakin muttered words that only stung.
"I've missed you too," she replied genuinely, grateful to the darkness of the room for hiding her glossy eyes. "I thought you were- when I saw the attack on the temple-" It was difficult to formulate any explanation of the worst day of Padmé's life.
"Where have you been? So much has happened. An empire rose, led by selfish Sith Lords that have stolen the freedoms of our people. The rebellion has extremely limited power and defense. We've needed you."
The humiliation of the Jedi lived on with Padmé's words. Ever since Anakin and Obi-Wan left into hiding, Anakin has felt humiliated as a Jedi. They were fearless and supposed to be peacekeepers. Unfortunately, everyone else didn't understand that to be peacekeepers, the Jedi had to be alive.
Over the years, Anakin and Obi-Wan felt the force grow more quiet and darker. For all Anakin knew, him and Obi-Wan were the last remaining Jedi. Two Jedi against two sith.
"I know, I know." Anakin lifted his hand, looking away from the former senator, now rebel leader. "It's hard to understand, but it was our only option." He emphasized 'only' because it was true. Obi-Wan and Anakin couldn't take on the entire empire and survive.
"You know Obi-Wan and I wouldn't run away if there was some other way. We are the only two that are keeping the light side alive." The thought made Anakin sick. There used to be thousands upon thousands of Jedi. How could two sith cause so much distraction to a entire religion and culture?
"I understand," Padmé muttered.
Anakin's explanation was more than valid and Padmé felt foolish for not assuming it herself. Still, it didn't settle her heart's thumping at the return of the Jedi. Her body wanted nothing more than to wrap around the man she'd missed so desperately but her mind never failed to remind her of those cruel words Anakin had used so insistently just hours before his alleged death.
So Padmé did not move, nor speak, only wished she could do so without the humiliation of Anakin's denial.
"We should go." The leader finally spoke up in a coarse whisper. "They need our help." There was no way an unprepared defense system could ward of this massive attack. Obi Wan's help would not be enough. Anakin could help incredibly and Padmé could lead and organize tactics. She didn't know of the grave danger she was in and even if she did, it would not change her mind.
Relief washed over Anakin as the former senator understood his and Obi-Wan's reasoning for leaving. A lot of things have changed over the years. There wasn't any Jedi code, even Obi-Wan had mentioned it in their days of living in the cave on Tatooine.
The bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin had grown in that time. All they had was each other. Eventually Anakin was comfortable enough to mention his feelings for Padmé. He remembered clearly telling Obi-Wan that he loved Padmé since they met before he became a Jedi. Anakin told him everything from that point to when he rejected Padmé because of the code and the danger he could put her in.
Obi-Wan was proud of Anakin for trying to follow the code, but of course, the master always cared about his padawan and mentioned in the end on the ship to the base that the code was no longer around. He mentioned that there could be alterations to it.
All Anakin wanted to do was confess everything then and there to Padmé. They were alone, but the circumstances around them weren't ideal. He was reminded that Obi-Wan, some of the Clones, and others were out there fighting the empire.
"Of course." The jedi nodded, "May the force be with you, angel."
The title used sent Padmé's heart lurching forward. If it weren't for the mask of the room's darkness, the crimson of her cheeks would be clear. The former senator couldn't count the times she'd dreamed of that voice and that name. To hear it again.. and know Anakin had returned for duty and not her.. it was a tease that tore the woman apart.
She escaped before any other burden could be thrown on her shoulders but immediately was blocked by Obi Wan.
"Master Ken-" Padmé began breathlessly. She hadn't expected to ever see this friend again.
"Sh. There's no time; go with Anakin into hiding, you are being sought after and we cannot offer enough protection here." The Jedi eyed the man that had exited from behind Padmé, communicating the instructions silently.
"I have a duty to my peopl-" Padmé attempted refusing but was interrupted once again by a man that rarely was impatient enough to do so.
"That you will not be able to fulfill if you are dead. Go."
Obi Wan rushed off, leaving the couple and their lingering tension.
"I don't care what he says, we are needed." Padmé continued to oppose and started after Kenobi. Not only did she firmly believe the defense of this brutal attack would need all possible assistance, she also could not stand the idea of being alone with a dream she wasn't allowed.
One thing Padmé and Anakin shared in common was their lack of being able to listen to instructions, but under these circumstances, Anakin would follow his master's orders. The only thing was Anakin and Obi-Wan were the last few Jedi left. He was always hesitant about leaving. Fearing the loss of his brother. Anakin also feared to lose Padmé again; only this time it would be forever if they didn't leave.
"Obi-Wan is right. It's too dangerous here, Padmé. We must leave." Anakin took her arm to lead her away. Padmé, of course, resisted this. The Jedi wasn't about to let her go, however.
The two weren't far from the back exit that would lead to his ship, when Clovis showed up. Anakin hadn't seen the man much, but recognized his face instantly. Padmé's former ex lover.
Anakin didn't say anything to the man and just eyed him. Unsure of his intentions. The guy always seemed to be up to no good and Anakin never trusted him for a second.
Eventually, Padmé was forced to give into Anakin's tugging and the reality of the time she'd have to spend in his presence. As awful as it was, it was nearly easier when he was 'dead'. Without the constant reminder of his handsome features and shimmering eyes, Padmé was forced to move on. Now another couple avenues opened and her heart was torn between them.
Clovis revealed himself and for the first time, Padmé eagerly accepted his embrace, both for the comfort she needed and the false appearance of 'doing well' she hoped to create for her past lover.
"Are you alright? Where are you going?" He asked frantically and Padmé explained. Clovis offered to come but Padmé denied him, insisting he lead where she couldn't in her absence. He finally agreed, stealing a quick kiss that meant nothing to the bride-to-be.
"Let's go." She muttered and returned her focus to Anakin but not the emotions stirring in him.
Anakin knew that Clovis and Padmé were a brief item at one point, but Padmé had always talked about how their personalities didn't collide. They were too much alike in some areas, yet so very different in others. She explained how she loved Anakin and how he kept her wondering what he would do next.
Then he witnessed Padmé and Clovis kiss. He witnessed many things that angered him, the most recent was years ago when the Jedi were being slaughtered. This came pretty close to the amount of boiling anger he felt back then.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Anakin dragged Padmé on without giving Clovis a second glance. His grip wasn't tight, but the man was much taller and his movements were much quicker. The former senator struggled to keep up.
Once they finally reached the ship, Anakin let Padmé go and prepared for take off, "You and Clovis, huh?" He looked at her unamused and hurt.
It was almost embarrassing as well. The Jedi had been trapped on the desert planet he grew up on for the last three years. He didn't look his best with a beard, long tangled hair that reached just above his shoulders. Not to mention he probably reeked from not being able to keep up with his normal hygiene. The only thing that remained in tact was his Jedi robes and that was because he didn't wear them on the hottest planet with two suns.
Padmé related Anakin's haste and tight grip to his urgency. He was always a protector and he was always determined to succeed. Regardless of how much danger she was in, Padmé knew no harm would touch her under Anakin's close watch. She had always admired this trait, always found comfort in his embrace.
The former senator didn't recognize the true source of Anakin's bitterness until he brought it up himself. She was confused. If Anakin cared nothing for her and never once contacted in three years, why would he care for her pathetic relationship now.
"We are engaged to be married." Padmé answered nonchalantly, sealing all exits and locking them. "We have similar agendas, goals, plans. It makes sense." The woman couldn't help the need to explain herself, justify the decision Padmé was sure Anakin would notice she wasn't proud of.
The woman froze in her pacing, focus fixating on the Jedi she'd missed so dearly. As his focus remained on the control panel and window, Padmé was allowed to scan his features. She noticed the rosy lips she used to kiss, the sparkling sapphire hues she used to admire, the arms that used to hold her. It was strange to be so close and yet further than she'd ever been. Padmé could so easily recall the love shared between the two yet it seemed like an old fairytale, nearly nonexistent.
Once the ship took off, Anakin brought his focus back to Padmé and the mention of her engagement. The thought infuriated him because Padmé was his and only his. Even when she wasn't and they were apart for years.
"Really?" Anakin decided to not display any hint of jealousy, "You are engaged to him?" The Jedi chuckled bitterly, but it came lighthearted and playful. "In a time of war, I had no idea it was the right time to get engaged and start a family." He shook his head and put the ship into auto pilot.
The Jedi ignored Padmé's reaction to his backhanded comment. That was just Anakin, however. He never would take things seriously and show it to others. Everything was a game, until it wasn't. At this time, it was a game.
"Did he propose after some kind of rebel victory?" Anakin continued down the ship to check on the monitors. "You won and both of you were caught up in the moment and he proposed?" He finally looked back at the former senator.
Anakin's words made it impossible to admire him any longer. She watched a mask fall over his features as he indirectly insulted her choices, teased the paths she'd had to so painfully choose. Not only had the Jedi ripped Padmé's dream life away from her, he now insulted what remained.
Padmé did her best to swallow her emotion, her jaw clenching in her tension. The woman lowered herself carefully to the co-pilot's seat as Anakin went on.
"He proposed in a garden." Padmé answered only to terminate the questions.
"This marriage is important for my future as well as the galaxy's." The icy blue gaze made it clear that Padmé was ending this conversation.
Anakin was unphased by her words. Mainly because he knew he was going to win the woman back. Nothing was holding him back. The Jedi wasn't happy that the Jedi were ceasing to exist, but the code and order of it all was gone. Even to Obi-Wan. The two agreed to rebuild the order, but would do it differently.
Padmé's gaze told Anakin that she was finished with their talk, but he wasn't quite finished with his thought.
"With the fall of the Jedi came the fall of the Jedi code." Anakin went back to the pilot's seat in the front and looked at Padmé, even when she wasn't looking back. "Love is no longer forbidden, and so, I no longer have to hide my love."
He had never been nervous before, his heart was racing. The Jedi decided to leave it at that and maybe she would understand what he was trying to say.
Anakin changed the subject as Padmé silently demanded and she relaxed. She took a moment to consider the words. 'The fall of the Jedi code.' No more rules? She just barely grasped the largest rule when Anakin voiced it.
Do you love me? She wanted so desperately to ask, but withstood the dream. Padmé reprimanded herself for hoping for something like that. She was engaged and Anakin had made his feelings more than clear. He didn't love her: never had and never would.
Padmé stood to leave. She couldn't take this anymore: all this talk of love and marriage right in front of the man she wanted those things with most. It hurt to look at him, dirt, scruff, and all.
"I'm retiring to my pod," she attempted an escape.
The former senator was slipping through his fingers again. Anakin wasn't going to allow it and spent too long without her already. He regretted his teasing from earlier that he thought was playful, but she was different. Padmé used to love his playful and teasing side.
Anakin thought back to the moment he last saw Padmé. He was trying to end things before they got even more complicated. He remembered his harsh words he used and the tears that fell from her face. Thinking back to it, Anakin regretted all of it. He knew he could tell Padmé the truth, but he didn't at the time. She would understand like she always understood. Padmé wouldn't shun him for his fear.
Before he could think about his next words, they tumbled out of his mouth in a hurry.
"Padmé, I still love you."
