Ohayo! Okay so I know I havent been doing well with this uploading thing but I hope this chapter makes up for it. For all of you people who've seen Vampire Knight, I hope you enjoy this chapter. For all of you who havent, well I hope you still enjoy this chapter! PS I sort of switched it up so that the VK characters could be in the daylight PPS Zero and Kaname are best friends/ eventual lovers:)
Chapter 4: So Many Questions...So Little Time
Misaki's P.O.V
Its like Im screaming...wait no...its more like Im trying to scream, but nothing is coming out. I want them to hear me, I want them to find me, but they cant. I dont know why; maybe they dont want to. Maybe the thought of helping someone like me...I dont know what to do any more. I dont know whether to give up and let it all come crashing down around me, or to fight a losing battle. Niichan, Niisan, Usagi-san, Mother, Father, they're all expecting me to keep fighting. They believe that Im strong enough, they think that I can win the battle raging inside of me. If only they knew...if only he knew.
Usagi-san loves me to the point where its unbearable. Sometimes I wonder how its possible to love someone so different from yourself, how its possible to be drawn to someone so diverse that the thought of being away from them is unbearable. Usagi-san, he would do anything for me and that makes me incredibly sad. He does so much for me that Im afraid that eventually he'll finally realize that Im not worth it. What can I possibly offer Usagi-san that he doesn't or can have? Home cooked meals? A clean house? Love? He could have all of that with anyone; he's a famous author with the looks of a god, anyone would be lucky to be in the same room with him. Of course I could never tell him that, I could never tell him any of this. I can never express my feelings for Usagi-san ever, its probably why he's going to leave me. He's going to grow tired of my constant failure, my failure to express my undying and unwavering love for him, my failure to be his equal, my failure to be extraordinary instead of normal boring Takahashi Misaki.
Flashback
I was 8 years old, it had been several months after the horrific accident that took Mother and Father. Niichan said that it would be good for me to make friends so that I wouldn't have to stay in the house all day so he had taken me to the park. My hands felt small in his as we walked down the path in Yoyogi Koen*, Niichan was admiring and pointing out the many colours of leaves on the ginko trees. I wasn't paying much attention though, I was staring at the ducks in the pond, admiring the way the baby ducks always followed the mother and father duck. They never strayed away from them. Immediately I felt alone; I had strayed away from my parents and now...I would never again smell Mother's curry buns, or the soap Father used. Niichan hated it, it irritated his skin so he wouldn't buy it even though I insisted that he didnt have to use it. "Misaki what's wrong? Are you tired? Should we sit down?" Niichan's voice made me wince. He sounded so worried; it was...it was the same way they sounded that day. That day it had been raining heavily, thunder and lightning, a symphony of nature.
All my life I had been a sick child, but that day I had a very "high fever and Niichan had been taking care of me. He called Mother and Father because he was concerned that it was too high even for me, they asked to talk to me, I told them that I felt horrible and that I wanted them to hurry home so that they could take care of me. I was scared, I just wanted them here I didnt care what they did just as long as they got home. I remember the way they sounded on the phone. They told me that they would be home as soon as they could; they told me that I would be okay and that when they got home they would take care of me. They told me I had nothing to worry about; they told me they loved me. Then they hung up and I just stood there hoping that they would be home soon. They of course never did.
We came to a stop at a bench. Niichan sat me down on the bench and crouched down so he could look at me. "Misaki, what's wrong? Do you not feel well?" I couldn't look at Niichan; I already knew what I would see. I would see concern, shame, blame, I knew he blamed me for the death of Mother and Father even though he would never say it to my face. I knew, I just knew that he did. I dont blame him either. If I hadn't asked them to come home, if I hadn't told them that I felt horrible, if I hadn't told them I was scared then maybe they would still be here. Maybe every time I looked at Niichan I wouldn't feel like I ruined his life. Maybe every time I looked in to the mirror I wouldn't feel like smashing it with every ounce of strength in my body."N-Nothing Niichan," I smiled so he wouldn't see through to the pain and regret, "Im just bored. Can I go play with the other children?" I dont want Niichan or anyone else ever worrying about me again. I vowed that day to never to anything that would cause anyone unnecessary worry or concern. I would handle things myself like a big boy so then maybe I can make it up to Niichan and make his life a lot easier. He smiled at me and nodded his head, "Dont go too far okay?" I nodded, stood from the bench, and ran off with superficial excitement.
The other children at the park, they all looked so happy, so full of life and excitement and there I was, fully of sorrow and overwhelming regret. I wish I were more like them, I wish my parents were here, I wish that I wasn't such a burden. I felt a salty tear roll down my face and I quickly wiped it away,but not before another kid saw it. His eyes were red and his hair a dark chocolate brown like mine but longer. He had three other children with him. One was a girl, her hair was dark brown like his and long and her eyes were also red, big and red, I assumed that was his sister. The other children, their hair was my length, silver, and their eyes were a deep radiating violet.
"Are you alright?" I looked at that brown haired boy and smiled, "Im fine thank you. I just had something in my eye." The girl and the silver haired boy came over to us, "Niichan, who's this?" Her voice was soft like snow, "Takahashi Misaki, age 8, his brother is Takahashi Takahiro age 18. Several months ago their parents were involved in a car accident." I was speechless, he knew everything about me. "How did you.." "My name is Kaname Kuran, this is my sister Yuki, and our best friends Ichiru and Zero Kiryu," all of them looked at me silently, their expressions were unreadable.
Yuki was the first to react. She took my hand into hers, it was surprisingly cold considering the warm weather, "We'll take great care of you Misaki." She smiled and gradually so did the others. Zero and Ichiru, their smiles were identical, both full of warmth and life. Kaname's expression was soft and laid back. It was clear that they protected each other like family, they stood by each other. I dont know why but I felt a twinge in my heart, something I hadnt felt since the accident and I knew that Yuki was right, I was in good hands.
End of Flashback
Misaki's P.O.V
A hot tear ran down my face at the distant memory. That was the first time since the accident that I hadnt felt truly alone, they had given me the security that I desperately wanted. They were my friends, my family outside of Niichan. They had been my blanket of security. Whenever I was upset, I didnt need to be strong in front of them. I was never alone when they were around, I always had them. Zero, Kaname, Yuki, Ichiru...
*Okay for those who do not know Yoyogi Koen is an actual park I believe in or near Tokyo Japan, where I assume Usagi and Misaki live. Its actually quite a beautiful park, I've been to Japan its quite a sight. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and trust me I'll be updating probably by the end of this week. I have a huge show Im performing in next week so it'll be pretty hard for me to really upload or write but I will try my best. Thank you for reviewing and reading, I honestly do appreciate it. I know alot of people say that but I really mean it. I do appreciate all the reviews and any constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you and I hope to be updating soon. :) For now bye bye
