Title: Is That What You Really Want
Author: rooster dawn
Classification: Harm/Mac
Spoiler: Silent Service to Goodbyes
Summary: Mac deals with Harm's rejection after killing her husband and his dating Jordan.
Disclaimer: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.
Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed.
part 4
1000 hours
28 April 1999
Hospice
Harm and Mac flew out to the hospice the next morning. They rented a car from the airport and droved to the hospice. They went inside and noticed all the people milling all around.
The patients were quietly talking to friends and relatives. They seem contented. They walked along the hallway looking into the rooms hoping to see either her father or Father Genaro.
Mac saw someone who looked like her father as she peered into one of the rooms. She went into the room and sat down by his bed. Harm stood behind her. She read the name on hospital bracelet. It was her father.
"He looks peaceful here. He must be sleeping Harm." commented Mac.
"I'm sure it must be from the medication they have given him to mask the pain." replied Harm. Before she could respond Father Genaro walked into the room.
"Hello, I'm Father Genaro."
"Hi, I'm Major Sarah MacKenzie, this is my partner Commander Harmon Rabb. He looks so peaceful. How long has he been sleeping?" asked Mac as she greeted the priest.
"I'm sorry Major, but your father is not sleeping. He lapsed into a coma early this morning. He won't be waking up." offered Father Genaro.
"Damm him! How am I going to have closure now? How am I going tell him how much I hate him?" vented Mac angrily.
Harm took her hand. "You're here Mac. You can still tell him. You can let go of the anger and hate. He'll no longer be able to haunt you." Harm told her quietly.
Mac spent the next half hour telling her father how she felt. She told him how she overcame his abuse. She told him how she learned to succeed with help of friends like Harm. She no longer felt ashame about who she was.
When she was done she and Harm went outside for some fresh air. When she walked out onto the porch she saw a middle aged woman. She looked worn down and tired.
Upon closer scrutiny she recognized the woman as her mother. Mac was shocked, but was happy at the same time. She hadn't seen her in seventeen years.
"Mom, is that you?" asked Mac with tears in her eyes.
Her mother looked up and smiled when she saw Mac. She slowly stood up to get a better look at her daughter.
"Sarah, it is you. I was hoping that you might come." Mac went over to her mother to give her a long hug. She didn't want to let go.
"I'm so happy to see you Mom. I've missed you so much." wailed Mac.
"I've missed you too sweetie. You look so beautiful." wailed her mother.
"I'm am surprise to see you here. I didn't think you would want to see dad again." commented a teary eyed Mac.
"I'm not here to see him sweetie. As far as I'm concern your father can rot in hell. I came here hoping that maybe you would come. It would give me a chance to see you." replied her mother a little angrily.
"I understand Mom. He was a despicable man, who deserves to die alone." agreed Mac.
"I'm sorry I left you there with him sweetie. It wasn't my intention. But the night you were at your friend's house, your father came home and beat me up pretty good.
He said he was going to kill me. When he fell asleep in his chair, I packed up what I could and left. I'm so sorry." sobbed her mother.
"It's okay Mom, I understand. I can't believe how you were able to put up with him for as long as you did. I just wished you took me with you Mom." Mac was in tears too as the two came together for another hug. At this time Harm came out onto the porch and saw them there.
"Mac! Are you alright?" asked an anxious Harm. Mac turned around to face Harm while wiping her tears.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Harm, I would like you to meet Deanne MacKenzie, my mother. Mom this is Harmon Rabb Jr." introduced Mac.
"Harm's my partner at JAG in Washington DC. We're both lawyers. He's in the Navy, I'm in the Marines." explained Mac.
Deanne whispered to Mac "He's a hottie." before saying
"Hello" and shaking hands. Mac blushed and smiled at her mother's comment.
"It's nice to meet you Mrs. MacKenzie. I was going to ask Mac if she was ready to go to lunch. I know she must be hungry right about now. It would be an honor if you would join us." smiled Harm.
She almost lost her breath, what a gorgeous smile. She looked over to Mac who nodded yes in agreement.
"Thank you Harmon, I would be happy to join you and my daughter." replied Deanne.
They went to lunch where they all talked. Mac's mother told her about what she had been doing the last seventeen years. Mac told her about how Uncle Matt rescued her from her own self destruction. That she got her college degree and went into the Marines to honor him.
She then went to Law school a few years later becoming a lawyer. She had been assigned to JAG headquarters for the last three years working with Harm. They mainly tried cases and did some investigations.
They had had a few adventures along the way. She told her mother about her travels around the world with Harm, going to places like Iran, Iraq, Ireland, England, Italy, Panama, Columbia, Japan, and Russia.
Harm had taken her flying in a World War I Steersman and in a F-14 tomcat. They had even traveled under the north pole in a submarine.
Her mother watched her daughter with great interest as Mac talk about her time with Harm. She saw Mac's eyes shine with excitement and a smile so beautiful she almost cried. It had been so long since she had seen her daughter smile.
Mac hadn't smiled the last few years when she was home. They both had been living on eggshells, not wanting to upset her father. She could tell her daughter was in love with Harm.
She could see the look and special smile every time Mac looked at Harm. A warm glow was beginning to fill her inside. It felt so good. She hadn't had this feeling in a very long time.
The next day Mac's father died. They arranged to bury him in a veteran's cemetery a few miles away. Before leaving to return to Washington Mac exchanged addresses with her mother, with her mother promising that she would come out to visit before the end of the summer. Mac and her mother hugged goodbye.
1100 hours
2 May 1999
Doctor's office
Upon their returned from the hospice Harm spent the weekend flying in his Bi-plane. One night he found himself returning to the airfield later than normal. It was getting dark.
Normally it would have been difficult for Harm to land the plane under those conditions, but this time around he felt like he aced it. He was pretty excited.
The reason he wasn't flying tomcats anymore was, because he couldn't see the carrier deck to land at night. He decided to make an appointment with an eye doctor to have his eyes checked. He told the story to the doctor who looked at him confuse.
"Night blindness doesn't go away Commander, it's permanent. Fortunately for you in your case that's not your problem. You have retinal scarring, it can be easily fixed." replied the doctor.
Harm was stunned. He had been misdiagnosed all these years. He still could have been flying.
"If I have my eyes fixed will I be able to see at night, will I be able to land a tomcat on the deck of an aircraft carrier." asked Harm hopefully.
"I don't know. But there is no reason to believe if you were able to do it before, why you shouldn't be able to do it again." replied the Doctor.
"I can schedule you in for surgery next week."
"So soon, I don't know." replied Harm.
"The next opening I have is in six months." responded the doctor.
"Okay Sir, next week it is." replied an excited Harm.
