"Ugh…" I awoke with a groan, rolling over on to my side while letting out a pained gasp.
What happened- oh wait… I thought, the memories of the events from earlier flowing back into my head.
Immediately, I forced my body to lift itself off of the floor of what looked like my storage room, and leaned against the wall, my head pounding with a truly painful headache. This was a situation I'd never expected to find myself in, so I was at a loss for what to do. Letting out another moan of pain, I forced my eyes open and examined the room, finding that I was, indeed, in the storage room.
Surprisingly though, I wasn't tied up or anything, which was pretty stupid on my infiltrators part, since I could escape without a seconds thought. Which is what I did. Or, tried to do, at least. Immediately upon opening the door, I found myself staring at two men, who turned upon hearing the door burst open.
"Tch, so she woke up, huh?" The one farthest to your right, a man with blonde hair and blue eyes, murmured, sighing and taking a step towards you "We don't have chakra, so this'll have to do…"
I barely had time to react as he hurled a punch at me, and even then, his fist still grazed my cheek, as I recoiled from the impact. The one farthest to my left, with messy crimson hair and narrowed brown eyes, let out a sigh and turned his gaze away from me and the other man. Unfortunately though, in that one moment I looked away, I was knocked on to the floor, and yet again, everything went black for me…

Pein gently dipped the last kitten, Itachi, into the sink water, immediately pulling the black kitten out and setting him on the floor, hurling the towel on top of him just as the transformation took place and Itachi sat on the floor with a towel on his lap.
"Water's certainly not the cure I was expecting…" The Uchiha murmured, and Pein nodded in agreement, letting out an exasperated sigh.
Itachi raised an eyebrow "Still recovering from Hidan flashing you the evidence of his gender?" He mused, and Pein shuddered, blocking out the memory of Hidan's rather inappropriate behavior earlier.
"I'm just glad it's over…" He sighed, and then added, turning to Itachi "There are clothes in the last room to the left, grab some"
Itachi nodded, sitting up with the towel wrapped around his waist and exiting the bathroom, his footsteps fading as he entered the clothing room.

Pie. Pie was the most delicious thing on the planet. Cherry pie, Apple pie, Pumpkin pie, even just mention of the dessert sent your taste buds sky rocketing into who knows where. Pie is something to savor. Pie is something to enjoy. And pie is also something to be used for bribery.
Pie is how me, Alex, Juliet, and Kin escaped from my supposed kittens. I'll never look at pie the same way again. You see, when I awoke from the second time I'd lost consciousness, I was in a different room. And in this room, in the same predicament as me, were Juliet, Alex, and Kin.
The ginger haired man arrived shortly afterwards, and that's where pie came in. And it may sound stupid. Absolutely ridiculous. But he released us after we offered him pie. And residence at my house of course, but that was another story.
Juliet offered him pie. I thought it was dumb, something that would surely get us killed, but no. It saved us. I think we've got God and pie confused. Or at least pie is my true lord and savior.
Currently, I sat rather uncomfortably on the couch, while each 'Akatsuki member', as the ginger haired man called them, sat with a piece of pie on their plates. They seemed content, and that was all I cared for. At least they wouldn't slaughter me, right?
I let out a sigh, flinching at the sound of the ginger haired man's voice.
"I think there might be some explaining in order" He said, setting his empty plate on the table "First, my name is Pein, I am God"
I blinked. I stared. And then I just shook my head, letting out an exasperated sigh.
"Yes… My name is Calida, and I am an ordinary teenage girl … continue please"
He nodded in acknowledgement "Yes, well …Calida… though it may be hard to believe, me, as well as all of them" He gestured towards the others, who all halted in gnawing and nibbling their pie to stare at you "Were your kittens sent from another world to yours for some unknown reason"

"…"

"…What…?"
It took me a moment to process what he had said, but the moment it functioned in my brain that this man, as well as all of his friends, were clearly in need of some mental help, I shook my head without blinking, in complete and utter awe that this man… **** it, let me just say it this way. I was currently in a house full of crazy pie lovers, who quite possibly carried weapons on them.
That's when I started contemplating my life.
"Wait, so you're telling us that you lived on a different planet, just happened to wake up as kittens on my porch, and now you have nowhere to live so you want to stay with me?" I asked in disbelief, blue eyes wide with bewilderment.
A moment of silence overtook the room, until Pein replied with an awkward "Err… yes"
"No"
It was my immediate reply, almost a natural reaction, and the strangers scattered around my living room turned to look at me, all looking either equally angry, disbelieving, or just that "I knew it" look.
"I refuse to allow a bunch of potentially ill minded strangers to live in my house" I clarified, and it was followed by a nod of agreement from Kin. Oh yeah, I forgot he was here. And Alex and Juliet for that matter.
Anyway, Pein let out a sigh, looking hopeless.
"Listen, what do I need to do to prove this to you?" He questioned, gazing deep into the depths of my blue eyes.
I was at a loss for an answer. How. The. Heck. Could. He. Prove. This. Ridiculous. Story. To. Me? It was utterly impossible.
And instead of acknowledging his question with an answer, I just deadpanned, feeling hopeless.
"You know what? You can stay" I muttered, and then added, noticing the look of relief that crossed over Pein's face "But only for approximately two weeks, I'll let you stay here for longer if you figure out a way to prove your ridiculous story to me, sound fair?"
He looked slightly unhappy, but complied with my request, and nodded "That sounds reasonable"
I crossed my arms, ignoring Kin's annoying shouts of protest as I basked in the accomplishment of getting rid of them. How did I get rid of them you ask? They were still there, right? Well, yes, but there was absolutely no way they'd be able to confirm their story, so in two weeks' time, I'd never have to see them again. Perfect plan.
Or so I thought. But the events that followed after that were certainly everything but perfect. They were odd. Kind of fun. And well, just plain weird. But it's also where the tale of Akatsuki Kittens, truly begins.