"Did you see the way they were talking? I think they know each other."
"It would make sense. Two weirdos."
"He's not a weirdo. He's kind of hot."
"Kind of? Like, super hot. But he got transferred here for a reason. Doubt it's a good one."
I listened intently to the gossip as I walked to class after gym, trying to find out more about "Lexan." That couldn't be his real name. Lexan? What could that be short for? Alexander, probably. I didn't know for sure, and I was also starting to hate myself for being as curious as I was. I had no business wondering about him. He was a jerk, and bad news.
Aren't you bad news too?
"Laynie," Alberta called as I walked into the gym. "I just spoke to Guardian Kova. Your sentence is lifted, sort of."
"Sort of?" I asked, my eyes widening. No house arrest?
"You're still stuck in your room. What you did last night was very irresponsible," she said, her stern instructor face on. "But you are allowed to leave your room early in the morning, for one purpose."
"What purpose?" I asked, insanely curious now.
"Homework. Kova says you need to run more."
"More?" Hadn't I beat pretty much all the dhampirs during practice?
"More. You can run quickly, for sure. But running long distances without collapsing is something you should be able to do. We want to make you the best you can be, Laynie." She smiled at me, making me even more curious. I could handle the running homework, although waking up earlier would suck. But why was everyone treating me like a novice guardian? I was Moroi. If my dad knew how much time I was spending with dhampirs, learning all kinds of dhampir curriculum, he'd freak and send me to a new school.
"Okay," I said slowly, and my confusion must have been obvious in my expression; Alberta laughed.
"Don't worry, Laynie," she said. "This is a good thing."
"Okay," I said again, thankful when more kids started coming into the gym. This wasn't even the weirdest thing that had happened today.
To my dismay, I no longer had a Lexan-free schedule. He waltzed in, smirking when he saw me, and came to stand directly beside me on my mat.
"Well, hello there," he said. "Aren't you Moroi?"
I ignored him, staring forward at Alberta and mentally begging class to start.
"Unless those fire tricks are some kind of satanic witchcraft and not Moroi magic," he continued, and I could hear in his voice just how great he thought he was. I wanted to light him on fire again, but instead I swung to the side and punched him directly under the ribs. He let out a grunt and fell to his knees, and I retained my posture, acting like I had no idea anything was happening.
"Class hasn't started yet, Laynie," Alberta said, glaring at me. "Come to the front. You're up here today."
I grimaced, not too excited about every eye on me, but at least it meant that I wouldn't be stuck with Lexan.
"And Lexan, up here too. Gotta assess your skills."
Well shit.
"Laynie, no funny business," Alberta said as Lexan strolled up to the front of the classroom. "Or I'll find a way around that Court order."
That shut me right up. There was no way I was letting my dad find out anything about me.
As class started, Alberta had Lexan and me doing different things than the other students; she had us running the very basics. Both of us were way better than that, obviously, and we quickly progressed. Soon she was having us do maneuvers I'd never even practiced before, but apparently Lexan had. He knocked the breath out of me multiple times, smug while he did it, and I had to resist the urge to light him up.
I wasn't slow to catch on, though. Sweat poured down my back and I dodged and dropped, knocking Lexan's legs out from under him. He caught himself in a squat on the ground and used the floor to push up, just barely missing my neck. Around and around we went, dodging and attacking, both of our breathing heavy. Those eyes, those green, green eyes. I wasn't afraid of them. I could take them on any day.
"Dammit, Laynie," he grumbled as I grabbed hold of him; as a dhampir, he was much stronger than me, breaking my hold easily. "You're tougher than I thought."
"Thanks," I grunted, striking out once, twice, three times, and then ducking as he came at me again. I got him in the shoulder, then the stomach, and he stumbled backwards. I took my chance. Picturing my eyes, the ice cold blue of them, I leapt forward, and Lexan went down.
He didn't laugh or smile like Jeremy had. In fact, he looked confused.
"Are you afraid?" he asked, his brow wrinkled, but not mocking. He must have seen something in my expression when I saw the eyes and attacked him; he saw the fear I kept bottled up until it was useful to me.
"Not of you, asshole," I hissed back, his wrists under my hands too warm. I let go of him and moved back, turning away, and he leapt forward, taking me down.
"Never turn your back on an enemy," he said, and we had switched positions; he was now on top of me, his hands holding my wrists down. Despite guardian training, his skin was so smooth on mine. I could see the freckles on his nose. I tried to count them, not wanting to meet his green eyes.
"That's enough, Lexan," Alberta barked, and he moved off of me, standing up straight. He held out a hand to help me up, but I stood on my own, sore in every cell of my body. I couldn't imagine running after this. "Congrats, you two."
I didn't really know what she was congratulating us for. Maybe surpassing the other members of our class. Maybe kicking each other's asses.
What I did know, though, was that Lexan was looking at me. He looked confused still, and curious. Maybe he wanted to know what I was afraid of. Maybe he was pissed that I'd beaten him. Whatever it was, those eyes were staring at me. And the green stopped being so pretty.
—
The next class was another dhampir defense one, and of course, Lexan was in it with me too. This one was less work, more strategy than practice, and I didn't have to be his partner this time. I was grateful for that. His eyes were too prying, too interested.
The bell rang and I was out the door, my backpack not even making it onto my back before I was jogging toward the Moroi building. Only two more classes left for today. I remembered that I was stuck in my room after, but I figured that was better than running into Lexan somewhere on campus. I didn't want to be around him. I couldn't.
"Laynie, darling," a voice called, and I sped up. No.
"Laynie! Hey!" A hand was on my shoulder, and I ducked and kicked out behind me. Jeremy thudded to the sidewalk, holding his elbow. "Motherfucker," he hissed. "Chill out!"
"Sorry," I said, shaken. I tried to help him up but my fingers were trembling.
"Are you okay?"
"No," I said. "No."
"What's wrong?"
"Let's walk," I said, taking his arm and walking quickly toward my building.
"Dude, what's up with you?"
"Lexan," I hissed. "He's weird. I don't like him. I don't want him to talk to me."
"I think you're overreacting a bit. He was my partner just now. He's pretty cool."
"Okay," I said, not in the mood to argue. We had reached the building for the Moroi classes. "See ya, Jeremy."
"Bye, Laynie," he said, confusion still in his expression, but I didn't have the energy to worry. I jogged up the stairs to my classroom, thankful for the species difference between me and Lexan.
I had to go back to the gym for another dhampir defense class after that, and I was actually praying on the walk there. Please don't let Lexan be in it with me. He had figured out too much already; his green eyes understood. I didn't like when people understood me.
I walked into the gym and saw the practice dummies. They were introducing stake usage into the curriculum sooner to ease the minds of those at Court who wanted novices to graduate at sixteen. They figured that maybe earlier training rather than earlier graduation would work better. I tried to imagine being out in the world, fighting Strigoi at the age I was now, and my fingers started shaking. It must be terrifying for the novices to have to worry about that happening to them.
The stakes they were letting us use were not real, obviously; I saw a box of them at the front of the gym, made of some kind of gray foam. It was probably going to be a class on technique.
I sat down on a mat like some of the other students were doing, and I held my backpack between my legs, wrapping my arms around it and burying my face in the top. Only an hour more. Not even. Then I could go hide in my room in peace.
I didn't even hear or feel him sit down; guardians were trained to go unnoticed. When I looked up as Guardian Kova started speaking, I jumped. Lexan was sitting next to me, reclining with his long legs out in front of him and no care in the world.
"How tall are you?" I blurted in a whisper; his legs were insanely long. Moroi long.
"Six-four," he said. He didn't look upset at all, nor did he look curious. Just relaxed. I could deal with relaxed Lexan.
"How tall are you?" he asked after a bit. Kova had a dummy on the wall, and was going over very slowly how to hold the stake and what to do with it. I was trying to listen; I wasn't as strong as the dhampirs. I would have to work harder to do what they would be able to do.
So I glared at him. "Why are you talking to me?"
"You talked to me first."
"I'm five-ten," I finally answered, glaring back up to the front of the classroom. I didn't look at Lexan's reaction. He would probably have that infuriating smirk on his face.
The rest of the class went a similar way; Kova spent most of his time talking, about the stake and how lethal it was and how important it was that we be careful and know what we were doing. He passed around the box of fake stakes, walking to every student and assessing their hold on them. Lexan was left-handed; Kova didn't blink, wrapping his fingers around the hilt at precisely the proper angle and motioning how to throw with the opposite arm.
I could feel Lexan's green eyes on me as Kova helped me with my fake stake. I rolled it between my thumb and my palm, squeezing the foam, and tried to mimic the way I'd watched Kova and Lexan hold theirs. "Good job, Laynie," Kova said. "Don't forget about your homework." He then moved on to the next student.
"Is it just me, or will practicing our holds on fake stakes not really assist when we use the real ones?" Lexan whispered to me, and I kept my eyes trained on the stake in my hand, stabbing its soft point into the stained wood of the gym floor.
"Have you ever used a real one?" I asked.
"Sure."
"On people?"
"Strigoi aren't people."
There was something in his voice, and I looked up at him then. There was no smugness, no joking in the green of his eyes. All seriousness.
I could deal with serious Lexan, too.
"You're right," I said, then looked away again. The green got a little less intimidating.
After class let out, I started toward the Moroi dorm. Lexan was right beside me, and my strategy was just to pretend he wasn't there. That was much easier than running around and avoiding him.
"You just going back to your room?" he asked, and I realized that there was definitely a nosiness in the questions he asked. Was he interested in me or just curious?
"House arrest," I answered. "For last night."
"Oh." He didn't reply for a second, then spoke again. "Why were you out?"
"Because I saw you guys pull up and wanted to see what you were doing."
"Sounds like something I'd do."
"I believe that."
"Why?"
I paused. "Why do I believe that you would sneak out?"
"Yeah."
"Alberta said you were a bad kid," I said. "In fewer words."
He squinted at me. I realized we had already made it to my dorm, and we were just standing by the door. Surprisingly, I hadn't even noticed the eyes on me. Laynie Ozera, talking to the new kid. As if I could be any more of a freak.
"What?" I asked, uncomfortable under his gaze. "Knock that shit off."
"What shit?"
"You. Figuring me out." I glared up at him. "I don't like people trying to figure me out."
He nodded slowly. "I get it. You've got something to hide."
"What?!" I grimaced. "I don't! I just don't need strangers in my business."
"Aw, come on, we're not strangers, are we?"
"We are."
"I see right through you, Laynie Ozera."
"Stop." I rolled my eyes, feeling the fear for the green of his creeping back into my stomach. "Don't try to figure me out. Please."
His face softened, and I almost felt like he was going to reach out and touch me. I tensed, and his expression softened even further. He was looking at me like I was some kind of wounded animal that he wanted to take care of. "What you got under that thick skin?" he asked quietly.
"Nothing you need to see." I turned and went inside the dorm, my fingers shaking. No. Lexan didn't need to try to figure me out. He needed to stay away. Far, far away.
—
The next morning, my alarm rang at an hour when the sun was still awake. Why were they having me run in the mornings if I was a Moroi? I put three water bottles in a drawstring bag and dressed for a workout class, in running shorts and a snug tank top, putting my hair in a French braid down my back. I didn't look in the mirror before I went outside.
The grass around the track was covered with dew, so I put the bag down on the pavement, leaving the bottles inside it. I started with the warm-up, jumping jacks and stretches, and then set off at a steady pace. They wanted me to run long distances, not necessarily fast. I could already run fast, right?
"No way in hell," he said before I'd even made my first lap. I stopped in my tracks and squinted up the hill towards campus, where the voice had come from.
"You have got to be kidding me, Lexan," I growled. "Why did you follow me here?"
"I always run in the mornings," he said. "I ran yesterday morning, and you weren't here. It appears you are following me."
I weighed my decision mentally; leave or stay here and let Lexan share the track with me? It was a long track. We didn't have to run by each other. We didn't even have to talk.
"Do you want me to go?" I asked finally. He was right; he did have the track first, if what he said was true.
"Not a chance," he said, grinning. "I've always wanted a running buddy."
"Not running buddies," I said immediately. "You get a head start. We're not running together."
"Aw, come on."
"Lexan, I swear to god I'll light your stylishly messy hair on fire."
"Stylishly messy, huh? I just woke up."
I rolled my eyes and scoffed, feeling my heart rate decreasing. "Just don't talk to me," I said, then started jogging again, keeping my eyes trained ahead.
I should have known that he wouldn't leave me alone. He warmed up in less than five minutes, then jogged to catch up to me, matching my pace despite his much longer legs. "So what are you so afraid of, Laynie Lynn?"
"That's not my middle name," I said through gritted teeth. I wished I had the strength to just ignore him, but I was too sharp to let him make a fool of me without fighting back in the slightest.
"I like the sound of it, though," he said. "What's your middle name then?"
"None of your business."
"Mine is Alexander. My name's actually Enver Alexander, just so you know," he continued. "I go by Lexan because Enver is kind of a weird name. It's Bosnian."
I didn't answer for a few seconds. "Why are you telling me this?"
"To open up to you, Eleyn. I want us to be friends."
"Why?" I groaned. "Why do you want us to be friends?"
"Why wouldn't I?" I didn't answer again, and he kept going. "I'm sixteen. I'm a Libra. My birthday is in October."
"You're not supposed to be able to talk this much while you're running," I stated.
"I'm slowing down my pace for you, love," he said, and I fake gagged.
"If you must know," he said after a few silent minutes. "I want us to be friends because I think we are very similar."
"In what ways?"
"We both are different than they are," he began slowly. "Both of our families have bad names. Both of us are mad at the world."
"I'm not mad at the world."
"Yeah, okay Laynie," he said sarcastically. "Both of us are bad kids. I know about the stuff you got into last year. And the years before that."
"You asking people about me? That's creepy."
"Everyone talks. They talk about me, and then when I come around, they talk about how weird you are for talking to me. Then they talk about why you're weird, including your past violence."
He was right about that. The gossip around here was never-ending. I was starting to breathe too heavy to really want to talk much, and I wondered how many times we had gone around the track. "Why are you bad?" I asked him, suddenly curious. Hey, if he was willing to tell me his life story, then I'd listen. I liked information just as much as the next person.
"We're both nosey," he said, grinning. I rolled my eyes.
"I left school when I was fifteen," he began. "I ran away. Like that famous girl, Rose."
"People say I'm like her," I said.
"We're both like Rose Hathaway," he said, his grin returning. "See how similar we are?"
I just nodded, and that seemed to make his smile even wider. "My mom and dad lived in this little remote town in Bosnia. My mom grew up there and came to the states, where she met my dad when he was assigned to be her guardian. They fell in love, blah blah, and once all the shit with Dashkov started happening, they moved back. They didn't want the attention, especially because my mom was so close to Victor before it all went down.
"She had no idea what he was, of course," he said. "You should have seen her when she found out about Natalie. Devastated for weeks."
I nodded slowly. Everyone knew how horrible Victor Dashkov had been. He had forced his own daughter to turn Strigoi, and she'd been killed almost immediately after. "Anyway, we moved back to the town where her parents lived. The lovely folks you saw the other night.
"So my dad and I learned Bosnian, and they enrolled me in one of the academies there. They had kept my last name as Dashkov because they wanted me treated like royal blood, I guess. Everything was all fine and dandy, and then out of nowhere the little town was attacked. There were a lot of Moroi living there. Strigoi took over the whole thing, burned it to the ground."
He didn't continue right away, and my stomach started to hurt. I couldn't tell if it was the running or the sadness I felt for him that was causing it. "So they found my dad. He died protecting my mom. Thing was, they didn't find her body. Anywhere."
I closed my eyes, feeling like my heart had stopped.
He said the words as I thought them. "They turned her.
"They pulled me out of class and gave me the news. And as soon as it was nighttime, I left that goddamn academy and fought my way through hundreds of Strigoi in Europe to find her. I was this little fifteen-year-old thing, no promise mark. I didn't look Moroi or like a dhampir, so it was easy for me to sneak around without them knowing what I was.
"The guardians from the school were tracking me, and so were guardians my mom's parents hired. At the same time, the Strigoi were getting scared, all these dhampirs on the loose in their playing ground. It made it harder for me to do what I was doing. Finally, I found out where she was, and I remember seeing her…" He trailed off, and I glanced at him, his eyes blank. "The Dashkov eyes, the green. But they weren't the same anymore. You got a thing for eyes," he said, waking up from his memory and looking down at me. "I see it, that you look into people's eyes. You ever seen a Strigoi's eyes?"
I shook my head. "No."
"You'd never be afraid of anyone else's eyes again if you looked into a pair of those," he said, his voice getting quiet. "Never ever."
He was quiet again, remembering, and then he finally spoke. "You gotta think about this, I mean I was on the run for almost a year. I had a birthday by myself, killing all these Strigoi. And I finally found my mom, the person I'd been searching for, and she didn't even – she recognized me, sort of. I had had this delusion that seeing me would wake her up. That she would be so overwhelmed with love for her son that she would break down and be healed. Who needed spirit magic, ya know? She was my mom."
He didn't talk for another several minutes. "She sort of recognized me. And she tried to kill me anyway, and I was gunna let her. I was so let down that I had been wrong. That she really was that far gone.
"And the guardians who had been tracking me busted into the building, which was this huge nest," he continued, his voice no longer animated. "That was part of why they had been following me, because they knew I was uncovering some serious shit. They killed my mom, Laynie." He stopped running abruptly, and I stopped several paces ahead of him, turning around to see him. I could hardly breathe, due to both the mixture of grief for him and pain from running for this long. He stared ahead and then sat on the ground, putting his head between his knees.
I didn't know what to do. Go to him? Stand where I was? Eventually, my pity won out, and I walked forward, sitting next to him on the pavement of the track. I put my arm around his waist, the heat seeping through his shirt into my skin.
"I know it doesn't help," I whispered after a little while. "But I'm sorry, Lexan."
"It's okay, Laynie," he said, looking up. His green eyes were bloodshot, like he wanted to cry. "I just wanted you to see that you're not alone. Everyone has struggles. Everyone's mad at the world in one way or another."
"Your reason is far more significant than mine," I said, looking down at my worn running shoes. "You went through hell and back."
"And yet, God deemed me lucky enough to meet you," he said, and I laughed. "That's a nice laugh."
"Thanks."
"You still think I'm so bad?" he asked. "So annoying and everything?"
"Yeah, still annoying," I said, and he smirked. "But I guess I have more reason to deal with it now."
