-1Chapter 4
Now was as good at time as any, right?
The thoughts in Sam's mind were spinning again. Where do I start? he wondered. Well, I guess I could discuss the feelings that brought her here in the first place…
"Andy, I know that today has been one of the longest days of your life. The most challenging one you've faced so far as a Rookie. Taking…" he cleared his throat again, "taking someone's life affects you in ways that you never imagine. You and I both know that you didn't have a choice today, because that guy was going to kill you . You followed your gut, you pulled the trigger and you saved yourself and that little girl. And who knows how many girls he has killed? Trust me, Andy, you were amazing today."
"Sam, I know it's the job, but how do I push this behind me? I just keep seeing his hand reaching for the gun in my mind and I hear the echoes of the shots reverberating off of the walls, and I hear the bullets hitting the floor, one by one…."
"That's just the thing, Andy, you will never forget. Those images will forever be burned into your mind. But you can't carry them with you every day. You can't take them with you on every case. You have to start out each day fresh with those memories set aside. Otherwise you won't be at your best on each new case. And that's not fair to your partner." He watches her facial expressions intently as he's talking to her. Did she realize that almost every emotion and thought played out on her face like that? He could read her emotions like an open book… so how come he wasn't sure exactly how she felt about him?
"But how do you forget Sam?" she asks, frustrated, "I can't go to the Penny and drown my sorrows every night, or I will end up like my dad." Or I will end up on your front step, throwing you up against a wall kissing you, she thought to herself.
Sam thought for a moment before responding. "Well, I go for a run to help clear my head. Nothing quite like feet pounding the pavement for miles to help you forget all about the day's events." Or your Rookie.
"And besides, McNally," he grins at her, "it helps keep me in great shape."
He stops speaking as he watches Andy put the finishing touches on the cut on his foot and smooth out the bandages. Andy stands up and takes a step towards the kitchen to start cleaning up the blood when he grabs her hand again. She just looks at him with those brown eyes and says, "Sam… lets get this mess cleaned up before we start talking about… anything else." He watches her swallow a lump in her throat and lets go of her hand.
"Yeah, you're right. We both know from this job how blood stains can ruin everything," he responds. He stands up and tests the weight on his foot. "Hey, not bad, Dr McNally!" He looks over at Andy and gives her his hundred watt smile, complete with full-on dimples. Man, he doesn't bring those out too often, does he? Her heart betrayed her by speeding up it's rhythm again in response. She looks away, and starts for the kitchen again. She turns and looks at him and says, "If you want to show me where you keep the bleach, I'll get started on this mess."
"Andy, you don't have to do that!" he says. "I can help you, this is my house, my blood…"
"Yeah, and it's my fault, Sam!" Andy interrupted. "You came running after me, when I shouldn't even have come here in the first place!"
Sam stops, shocked. Maybe she didn't really have feelings for him like he did for her. "Do you want to leave?" he asks quietly. "I can take you home right now if you want me to."
Andy gives him a long look before responding…
Sorry, I know, bad place to stop! I'm still figuring out what Sam's going to say to her exactly, when the feelings get put on the table. Next chapter!
