Chapter Four:

A short time later, the six women met up at a nearby restaurant. Thankfully, it was Saturday, and the breakfast buffet was open well past noon. Olivia and Jane immediately sat next to each other, which surprised Alex until she realized that there were three seats to each side, and their side happened to be facing the door so that they could keep an eye on the people entering and exiting the restaurant. Their cop rituals are so alike it's scary.

She slid in the other side of the booth opposite Olivia, allowing Maura to cozy up next to her while Abbie sat on the end. Serena took the open seat across from Abbie and next to Jane. "So, how did you and Jane meet?" Serena asked. "Was it at work?"

"Yes," said Maura, answering Serena's question. "She wasn't overly fond of me at first, and she still calls me the Queen of the Dead."

Alex snorted. "That's nothing. Olivia and her partner came up with some very creative nicknames for me during our first few weeks as colleagues. The 'Ice Princess' one was, perhaps, the most kind."

"Repressed sexual desire," Olivia said, glossing over the clashes they had experienced all those years ago. "And it didn't help that you were appointed to make sure my partner and I weren't a bunch of crazies."

"You're still sore about that Morris Commission thing? Honey, that was, what... over a decade ago?"

Maura looked surprised. "You two have known each other for that long?"

Olivia grinned. "Yep."

"And how long did it take you to enter a relationship?" Remembering her manners, Maura added a hasty, "if I'm not being too intrusive by asking, of course."

By this time, Alex was grinning, too. "Of course not." She took Olivia's hand under the table, which made Serena give them a look that clearly said 'that's adorable' while Abbie pretend to choke over her glass of orange juice. "Actually, we've only been together for about a year."

"It took you that long to convince her to put up with your ass, Benson?" Jane teased. Even though neither of them was on the job, the two cops were already acting like old colleagues.

"Actually, she pursued me... I didn't think I could trust her. It's kind of a long story."

Alex, ever the artist with words, decided to summarize. "A drug lord took pot shots at me because I wouldn't drop a rape case against one of his lieutenants, I had to go into Witness Protection, and when I came back to testify, I might have misled Olivia into believing that I was sleeping around in Nowhere, Wisconsin under an assumed identity." She looked appropriately repentant as she recounted the story. "Then I came back for good, didn't call her, got engaged to a man I hated, cheated on my fiancé with a scumbag at the DA's office because I hated myself, and went through a lot of therapy. After that, I decided to work with SVU again without giving Olivia any warning, and just when we were starting to treat each other civilly again, I announced to the world that I was going to the Congo to prosecute war criminals there."

"She sent me roses the next day," Olivia added with more than a hint of sarcasm.

Maura and Jane were shocked. In fact, the Boston detective's mouth was hanging open. "My God," she finally said. "And I thought our story was bad..."

"Oh, I don't know, I think it was pretty entertaining." Abbie gave her an encouraging look, and she explained. "Well, a few weeks after the lesbian bar fiasco that Jane told you about last night, we were investigating-"

"–I was investigating, you were just supposed to do the autopsies. But you couldn't keep from getting involved–"

Maura glared at her. "We were investigating a drug-related cop shooting. A certain someone forgot to log a package of cigarettes that contained key evidence. Then, the drug runners came in and started shooting people in the station."

Olivia's eyes widened. "I read about that in the Times. That was only a few months ago, right? You were there when it went down?"

"Yes, that was it. Anyway, they were looking for the cigarette pack-"

The brunette rolled her eyes. "You were too busy in the autopsy room trying to feed that damn turtle of yours and forgot to remind me."

"I did remind you, just before you got on the elevator. And Bass is a tortoise," Maura corrected her lover in a very superior voice. "You know that. He's a Sulcata tortoise. You only say turtle to make me angry."

"Turtle, tortoise, tomato, tomahto. I still say that thing hates me."

"He likes you, Jane. He always sticks his head out of his shell to say hello when you come visit."

"Yeah, and then he glares at me with those beady little eyes... Reptiles. Eugh." Secretly, Maura knew that Jane was very fond of Bass, and her professed hatred of him was an ongoing joke between them. After all, Bass had helped save Maura's life, if only indirectly.

"Okay, wait a minute," said Abbie, who was having trouble following the conversation. "So, there were people shooting at you in the station house, and you own a tortoise?"

"Yes," said Maura, as if being shot at and owning a tortoise was something that everyone did. "Jane's brother Frankie, who is also a police officer, was shot, and I had to perform emergency surgery to prevent his lungs from filling up with blood-"

"So there was a tortoise, guns, and emergency surgery?"

Deciding that Maura was taking way too long to tell the story, Jane jumped in. "The cop who was shot, his partner was dirty. When we found out, he took me as a hostage and Maura and Frankie got to an ambulance. By that time, we had contacted my partner and there was a SWAT team outside the building."

"And then Jane tried to be a hero and got herself shot. We had shared a few... encounters... before that, but almost losing her was the catalyst that forced me to admit my feelings for her."

Abbie whistled, clearly impressed. "Damn. Our story is downright boring compared to those two."

Serena shrugged. "Plenty of emotional drama, just not as many near-death experiences."

"I don't know about that," Abbie teased, "you almost killed me a few times. Serena was my replacement at the DA's office in New York. I met her, bedded her, and was too stupid to admit that I had a good thing going. We saw each other off and on a few times over the years, and that usually ended with me in some kind of physical pain. Then Alex decided to get off her ass and pursue Olivia, and I thought, 'what the hell. If those two crackpots can try to fix their relationship, which is way more messed up and complicated than mine and Serena's ever was, I have no excuse.' So I hopped on a train to DC and forced Alex to let me stay in the guest room until I had won the fair lady over."

The smaller blonde rolled her eyes. "You make it sound so romantic, darling."

"Hey, at least no one got shot in our love story."

...

Two hours later, the six women were still clustered around the same table. The waitress had already offered to deliver their check multiple times, but when Alex had taken her aside and whispered that they would compensate both her and the restaurant properly for continuing to take up space where they could be seating new customers, the waitress was more than happy to let the group stay for as long as they wanted.

Over the course of brunch, the conversation had meandered to several interesting destinations, never settling on one topic for too long. At the moment, they were in the middle of a game of 'Never Have I Ever', which had, surprisingly, been instigated by Maura. When the blonde medical examiner revealed that she had never been invited to a sleepover during her high school years (the traditions of the rich included society dos, it seemed, but not slumber parties where you painted your nails and talked about boys – or girls), Abbie had insisted that they play, even without alcohol.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Olivia groaned, taking a swig of her third glass of water. The hangover she had woken up with was beginning to recede now that she was sufficiently hydrated. "At... almost two in the afternoon in a restaurant, completely sober."

"It's for Maura's sake," Abbie said, nudging Olivia's shin with her foot. Unfortunately, she missed and hit Jane, who flinched and shot a glare at Alex, who she thought was the culprit. Alex then kicked Abbie for getting her in trouble, and she didn't miss. "Ow! Jeez, it was an accident, both of you. No need to hurt a person." She deliberately ignored the fact that she had been the one to kick first. "Your turn, Olivia."

"Fine, fine. Since we're all in some branch of Law Enforcement... Never Have I Ever... gone on a date with a suspect in one of my investigations. Serena, Alex, and Olivia did not drink (all of them had decided to ignore the fact that their beverages were non-alcoholic), but Abbie, Maura, and Jane did. The last two looked at each other with surprise.

"You did?" Maura asked. Jane blushed.

"It was before I met you. I was young and stupid... and he turned out to be guilty, too. The case almost got thrown out, and I learned my lesson."

The Irish medical examiner gave her a disapproving look. "At least I waited until the woman I asked on a date was eliminated as a suspect," she said.

It was Jane's turn to look disapproving. "A woman? Why didn't I know about this?"

"You knew you weren't the first woman I dated, Jane. Besides, you dated her, too... for five minutes."

"It was one of those creeper women from the dating website?"

"She was very attractive," Maura defended herself. "Her facial structure was very symmetrical and she had nice eyes. In fact, the reason I picked her was that she reminded me of you." Jane's expression softened, and then all of them looked at Abbie.

Abbie shrugged. "I hooked up with three women I prosecuted – after I lost and if I didn't think they did it." That made Serena groan. "I know that groan was about the number and not the fact that I prosecuted them, but hey, I don't choose which cases I take to trial. There were a few times Branch made the call and I disagreed with it."

"Actually, it was about both. Okay, moving on, please. Never have I ever faked an orgasm."

Everyone but Olivia drank. The detective looked shocked. "Wow, really? All five of you? You're too sympathetic." A horrible thought occurred to her, and she glanced at Alex. "Not with me, right?" she whispered, a little frantically. Alex snorted.

"Of course not with you, you idiot." Leaning forward over the table, she cupped her hand around her mouth and whispered into Olivia's ear, the one farthest from Jane. "You're the only person I've been able to with reliably, and only the second person to get me there at all."

The pretty blush that covered Olivia's cheeks pleased her, but four sets of eyes staring at her from the other side of the table distracted her. "Whispering sweet nothin's in Olivia's ear, Alex?" Abbie teased, dodging another kick under the table. This time, Jane foresaw the attack and lifted her legs up in time to keep from getting in the way.

"I was just saying that when you're a lesbian forcing yourself to sleep with stubborn men, it's kind of a requirement because they just won't quit until they think you're satisfied," she lied.

"Here here," Serena muttered. "Been there, done that."

"It's not just men," Abbie said. "I have never been with a man and I've encountered the same problem once or twice."

"Okay, my turn," Maura said, looking cheerful. "Never have I ever done it at work."

Jane's jaw dropped, firstly at the sexual nature of Maura's question, and secondly at her use of slang. Normally, she would have expected her lover to say 'sexual intercourse' or 'participated in coitus' or something along those lines. Thanks to Jane's influence, Maura did not use textbook terms for sex in the bedroom, but she was still uncomfortable using such 'unprofessional' language outside of it.

"You have to drink, Jane," Maura patiently reminded her girlfriend. "It's the rules." Still stunned, Jane took a swig of her afternoon coffee, heavy on the sugar.

Abbie also drank, and so did Serena, which caused Alex to grin. "Oh, are you both thinking of the story I'm thinking about?"

Serena laughed. "Actually, we did it in the photocopy room near Branch's office. Aside from the black eye I gave Abbie afterward, it was pretty amazing."

Abbie did a mock half-bow from her seated position. "I try. Oh, and we actually DID do it in McCoy's office..."

"Oh, I didn't know about that one," Alex said, looking interested.

"And the bathroom," Abbie added. Serena wrinkled her nose with distaste.

"I still say that's unsanitary..."

"At least it's better than a morgue."

Jane shuddered. "Ew, no. Maura and I have NEVER done it in the morgue. That's just... wrong."

"My morgue is perfectly sanitary," Maura argued. Jane gave her a long-suffering look. "But it would still be a very poor choice for such activities," she conceded.

"I may or may not have visited Olivia in the crib..." Alex said evasively.

Abbie laughed. "Oh jeez... And I slept in there once or twice... who knows how many other people used it for that? Ew."

Alex frowned at her. "This is coming from the woman who regularly has sex in both my guest room and master bedroom."

"That's not at work, and I was talking about other people, not you. We're practically sisters by now, Cabot. I already have your cooties."

"This conversation is making me extremely uncomfortable," Olivia said. "Whose turn is next?"

"I have one," said a familiar voice that still had the power to make Alex stand at attention. "Never have I ever been in jail." Everyone froze. Olivia stopped eating her pancakes mid-chew, and Serena nearly dropped her coffee mug.

Her hand shaking slightly, Alex took a drink from Olivia's glass, deliberately using the extra time to conceal her embarrassment and replace it with a well-practiced, neutral expression. "Hello, Your Honor," she said, standing and tilting her hips to move past Maura and Abbie, who gave her a reassuring pat on the behind. Alex made a mental note to hurt Abbie later. "This is certainly... unexpected."