Disclaimer: Switch belongs to Naked Ape
By the end of Kai and Hal's first month in the Narcotics Control Division, Kai's tardiness was already commonplace. Director Hiki never seemed to mind, laughing and greeting the flustered young agent cheerfully whenever he finally arrived. Most of the other agents took it in stride as well, noting that busts seemed to go more smoothly without Kai anyway. It wasn't that the rookie was bad at his job or any sort of nuisance, he just seemed to attract trouble. The only two members of Section One who were concerned with Kai's habitual lateness were his partner Hal, who was annoyed by everything he did, and Kaji, the Section Chief. Kaji, already burdened with a temper the complete opposite of his mild-mannered boss, was constantly being driven into a rage by Kai's excuses. It didn't help that, bizarre as they always seemed to be, they were told to him in the honest tone of the most impossibly innocent-looking person he had ever met. It gave him the haunting suspicion that they were all true. But this latest one...
"I was on the subway, 'cuz I was at a friend's for the weekend. I found a newspaper on an empty seat, and I wanted to try the crossword. They say it's good exercise for the brain. But I didn't have a pencil. And just as I was thinking, 'I wish I had a pencil so I could have a brain workout', a pencil flew out of nowhere and hit me in the head! And it was a big pencil! Huge! So I pick it up, and look around to see where it came from, and I see..." Kai took a deep breath. "A hobo! I mean, I don't wanna be rude, he's probably super nice and everything and I'm calling him mean things like 'hobo', but I don't really know what else to say! And he was looking at me, so I thought the pencil must be his. So I went to ask him if I could borrow it for the crossword. But he just glared and threw his taco at me! It was awful. I was covered in taco stuff and he was yelling at me. 'UNDERPANTS NOT HAMSTERS!' He kept yelling that, over and over. Everyone was staring. I was so embarrassed that I got off at the very next stop and had to walk home and change. Then I came here as quickly as I could! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Finished his tirade, the young agent bent double, leaning against his desk, clearly out of breath.
Hiki was no longer visible, having collapsed behind his desk in peals of uncontrollable laughter. Hal had left on a survaillence mission long before Kai showed up, tired of waiting for his tardy partner. Kaji appeared to be in shock, possibly because he had never encountered so many exclamation points in one story. He blinked several times, looked from Kai's reddened face to the desk, behind which great whoops of laughter could still be heard. Then he sighed.
"I officially give up. Seriously. Get here whenever you want. Just please, please, never tell me your excuses anymore."
As Kai ran out the door to meet up with Hal, Kaji ran a hand over his face. Taco-flinging hobos? Really? A giggle brought him out of his disillusioned thoughts.
"Dammit, Hiki. It really isn't that funny!"
