CHAPTER 4
Who I Am
Bucky and Lizzie sat on the old bench.
Lizzie sat with her legs tucked beneath her in a fight-or-flight position. In her city you always have to be on your toes if you want to get home with all the money you left with.
Bucky's posture was almost completely opposite, he sat slouched over, head in his lap, elbows on his knees. His mind drifted again.
What if I wasn't a good person before
What happens if I'm disappointed in who I was, or, am?
Does Lizzie really know who I am?
Lizzie opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened again and spoke this time. "Bucky, I know all about you, I've read articles and biographies, searched you online, and even reported on you in class, and now I'm going to tell you who you really are."
Bucky sat up and pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "Lizzie I'm ready, who am I?"
"Your name is James Buchanan Barnes and you were born in the state of Indiana. Your best friend was Steve Rogers and you two were inseparable in school. As you two got older, you and Steve stuck by each other, even in times of hardship." Lizzie spoke as if she had practiced this in front of a mirror for days on end.
"When you were old, enough you enlisted to fight in WWII. On your last day before heading out, you went out with your friend Steve and your dates to the Stark Expo. At the expo, Steve enlisted in the army again, they wouldn't accept him because of health problems, but he was offered a chance to go to a training camp... he accepted."
Bucky did his best to envision what Lizzie was saying in his head, but for some reason he couldn't picture himself doing any of what she was telling him.
"Steve was offered an opportunity to undergo an experiment that aimed to create the perfect person, a 'Super Soldier'. After receiving the test serum, Steve became 'Captain America', a film star, stage actor, and military mascot. When Steve visited a military camp on his tour, he discovered that your entire regiment had been captured by enemy forces. Howard Stark and Agent Peggy Carter flew over enemy lines and dropped Steve off near a camp. Steve then released your entire regiment from prison cells and found you dazed and in pain on an operating table."
Bucky looked at the ground blankly. A table, it seems like my whole life I've just been laying on tables while people tinker with the very fabric of my being.
Lizzie's tone deepened and she continued, "Bucky?"
Bucky looked at her.
"I don't know if you want to hear the rest of your story."
Bucky looked at her again, this time with more urgency.
"Let me rephrase that, I don't know if I want to tell you what happens next."
Bucky put his cold silvery hand on Lizzie's shoulder. "Please Lizzie, I have to know."
Lizzie sighed. "Okay, you and Steve were on a mission; you had boarded a train and everything was going well. You fought bravely and saved Steve's life, but you ended up holding for dear life onto a weak metal handle on the side of the train. Steve tried to save you but before he could reach you, the bar broke and you fell hundreds of feet into a snowy mountain canyon."
Lizzie took Bucky's hand off her shoulder and began to run her fingers across the metal. "Whatever they did to you in that prison camp helped you survive the fall, but your arm, was beyond saving. Zola, a Hydra scientist gave you a new arm, wiped your memory, and brainwashed you into becoming an emotionless assassin. They used you to change the way the world worked by having you kill important people that didn't conform to what Hydra wanted. When you weren't needed you were frozen to keep you from aging."
Bucky lifted a hand to his face and felt his skin, smooth, healthy, young.
"Meanwhile, Steve ended up frozen in Arctic ice until he was recovered and thawed. Steve then joined the Avengers and saved the world from the Norse God, Loki, and his army. Just a few weeks ago you resurfaced, and now that Hydra is gone you're free to become Bucky Barnes again."
After ten minutes of silence Bucky got up.
"Lets go back to your place Lizzie, I don't want," Bucky gestured to his arm "this to become infected."
Together, they returned to the sad little apartment.
"Here Bucky, you can sleep in this bed." Lizzie said, gesturing to an empty bed in a shabby bedroom. Bucky looked at the dingy mattress with two scrawny pillows and one dusty sheet.
"This was my parents' room, but my mom prefers the couch and my dad is who-knows-where."
Lizzie handed Bucky a dripping cotton ball, "Use this to clean your injury." She instructed before leaving and shutting the door behind her.
Bucky took the cotton ball in his metal hand and placed it on the dresser.
He began to take his jacket off when Lizzie rushed back into the room.
"Bucky there's a shower in that bathroom." She pointed at a door by the bed.
"Oh and," She wrapped her arms around Bucky and buried her face in his shirt "thank you."
