Everything Wrong With: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
Episode Four: Turnabout Succession
"Otherwise epic opening makes the poor decision of spoiling two key twists of the case (Vera's fainting and Kristoph's appearance) in the first minute. I thought this would be the first game to never show us who the culprit is, and they ruin that in the finale, of all cases. Seriously, game? You were almost on track to get ten sins removed! Instead, I'll just add them." *review starts with ten sins. Not a good sign, folks.
"Apollo has to babysit Trucy when her dad leaves her alone all day. I guess this why he still shows up to the office after three months of no cases? His first case was six months ago, I'm sure the scandal of Kristoph's arrest has died down by now. Apollo should really try looking for another employer. For his sake." *ding
(Phoenix shows up) "Phoenix says the inclusion of the Jurist System will help people take the courts more seriously, but um... I've experienced DGS. And this case. Both iterations of the Jurist System are just as batshit crazy as the Initial Trial System. Just in different ways, is all." *ding
"Legal system lets a disbarred attorney with a reputation for evidence forging run the Jurist System experiment with zero oversight whatsoever. I'll complain more about this later, but for now... let's just say I completely understand why the Jurist System was scrapped for the main series and move on." *ding
"Phoenix also says he wants to start off the Jurist System with a simple case, but chooses a murder trial for such purposes. I'll let Apollo, Kristoph, and Ema explain why this is total bullshit:
Apollo: That's not simple at all!
Kristoph: Your first trial, and it's a homicide. I guess "Justice" doesn't start small.
Ema: Why can't we have a normal, straightforward killing for once in this country!?" *ding
"Phoenix signed Apollo up to participate in the Jurist test trial without any consent from Apollo or (as far as we know) informing Vera. The first game told me that both defender and client have to agree before the defense can take a case, and now you're telling me that neither party has to?" *ding
"I feel like I should wait before getting into this, but... Phoenix spent the last seven years preparing to clear his name once and for all in this case, yet the trial for Drew Misham's murder was only made the test case a day beforehand, meaning they had a completely different case lined up. What would Phoenix have done if Misham died of a heart attack five years ago? What if the poison trap had never sprung and Misham lived well into his eighties? Phoenix would have done all this work for nothing." *ding
"How is it that Phoenix managed to time the approval and execution of a Jurist test trial with the exact same time Drew Misham died? Did he have the test date pending and was keeping an obsessive watch on the guy? At best, Phoenix is an incredibly lucky bastard that has pleased the scriptwriter gods, allowing his plan to work perfectly through sheer coincidence. At worst, Phoenix knew when Misham would die because he helped bring about his death, and had planned it well in advance. So either he's terrible at masterminding the game and changing the legal system to fit his agenda, or he's so good at it that Simon Keyes and Damon Gant would both respect him. Discuss." *three sins either way
(Meeting Vera) "Vera loves magic and especially the Gramaryes, but when a Gramarye (Trucy) does a magic trick in front of her, she freaks out and faints. I might be an asshole for sinning this, but sin it I will." *ding
("I'm also really good with astrology! Tell me. What's your sign?") "Apollo's attempts at flirting." *ding
(Drew Studio) "This music. Say what you want about the rest of it, but the music in this game is great." *removes a sin
"Drew Misham drinks coffee at nine pm every night. Is he related to April May, by any chance?" *ding
"Police allowed Vera to carry poisoned nail polish into detention with her. I know they did it to pacify her, but since are the police that nice while arresting people? Vera's a small girl. If they wanted to take her by force, they could. They may think they're being nice, but seeing as that shit nearly kills her, it's just gonna bite them in the ass in the long run." *ding
"We can turn the coffee mug upside down while checking it, but no coffee spills out. I want coffee like that!" *ding
"Poison testing fluid looks exactly like Luminol. For some reason." *ding
"X-Ray machine forces you to keep turning and rubbing long after you can read what's on the screen." *ding
"Kristoph spent a hundred thousand dollars on forged evidence? Why?! Game tries to convince us it's because he wanted to be known as a successful lawyer, but if he has that sort of money to throw around, he's clearly successful already. So what was the point?" *ding
"Game makes a big deal about the fact that Brushel came to interview Misham the day of the murder, but it turns out to be a complete coincidence. Bad timing, huh?" *ding
(Sunshine Coliseum) "More people can be seen outside for Valant's show than for the Gavinner's concert. Since when are magic shows more popular than rock concerts?" *ding
("Your father was a great man, Trucy.") "Hahahahahahaha. No." *ding
"If Zak was declared legally dead in April, why did Valant wait until October to do a big show? Why would he keep the rights to the Gramarye tricks for six months, but wait until the day they would be taken from him to use any? Was it a deal he made with the scriptwriter to maximize dramaticism?" *ding
"The Blue Badger is relegated to a background cameo. This is my favorite appearance of the thing by far." *no sin
"I just noticed: the Gramarye seal has the part of the Chinese character for 'kingdom' inside it. Not only was Magnifi super confident in his abilities, he considered his troupe his kingdom, a kingdom that he could rule over with an iron fist. Cool bilingual bonus is cool." *no sin
"Spark Brushel. I'd give more than one sin here, but the final tally's gonna be astronomical regardless, so I'll stick with one for now." *ding
"On another note, Phoenix says Apollo isn't supposed to be allowed to speak with people involved in the case, but he speaks with all of them anyway. Why bother telling him that, then?" *ding
"Brushel is constantly writing in his arm, but we never see any ink on it. Why?" *ding
"Also, Brushel attended the Diego Armando school of speaking in nonsensical metaphor. How large was its graduating class?" *ding
(Misham's rough sketches) "These artistic despictions of Apollo's previous cases are cool and all, but they raise a lot more questions than they answer. Game gives a half-assed explanation later as to why Misham is doing this, but the how is left a complete mystery. Recall that he never leaves the house, here. He isn't visiting the scenes after the case is over. Does he know what everything looks like off the top of his head for no reason? He gets the hand in the Turnabout Trump picture completely wrong (three of a kind vs. full house), so I don't think he's reading case files or observing evidence. Is he paying someone to stalk Apollo? Did he hack into various security feeds? The fuck is going on here?" *ding
"Apollo dismisses the possibility of Misham being his father as being too ridiculous, but two games later, he completely accepts the premise that his father was a world-traveling musician who died in a queen's house on fire. What changed from now to Spirit of Justice? Aside from the writer, I mean." *ding
(In court) "Trucy advises a young shut in to 'sell' herself. Who wrote all these sexual jokes about/for a fifteen year old, and why was it considered appropriate?" *ding
"Klavier is our prosecutor? Why? Phoenix has been planning this trial for years to take out Kristoph and clear his own name, so... he puts Kristoph's brother in charge of prosecuting? Even though he hadn't prosecuted much at all until four months ago? We see how much this fucks with the guy later, and why would Phoenix risk the conflict of interest to begin with? Couldn't it just as easily backfire on him?" *ding
"Atroquinine is an incredibly rare man-made poison lethal at 0.002 mg, and literally no one is curious as to where Vera would have gotten such a thing. Need I remind you she's a shut-in, and all her contact with the outside world comes through a box her father checks regularly? How the fuck would she have ever gotten her hands on this without her father noticing?" *ding
(Brushel attempts suicide by tie) "This animation." *ding
(Brushel sniffing out a scoop) "Also, this one." *ding
(Brushel using a toothbrush on his tongue and glasses) "And this... Okay, let's just say this guy's animations need improvement, and move on." *ding
(Perceiving Brushel's sweating) "Some disgusting shit." *ding
(Apollo points to the stamp as the murder weapon) "One sin off for Apollo's great lawyering. Even if it makes the second trial day that much more painful to watch, I'm proud to see how much Apollo came into his own for this case. He's way ahead of fourth-case Phoenix when it comes to presenting solid arguments confidently. If I had to place it, I'd say he's where Phoenix was in the middle of T&T, taking less than half the time to get there." *removes a sin
("Murder is a simple business. Who would go to such lengths?") "Your brother." *ding
"Klavier is obsessed with playing his guitar in this trial. He does it, like, every two minutes. I like it too, but not this much." *ding
("A poisoned stamp in this envelope? A stamp that then became the murder weapon? How do you intend to prove this seeming coincidence?") "Through snooping in prison, stealing shit, 'recreating' evidence, and traveling through the barriers of time, naturally. How could you not get that?" *ding
"Still, Klavier Gavin would be awesome at CinemaSins." *no sin. I would love to work with him
(Ema's Kristoph impression) "This is funny, but... why? Did Takumi ask Ema to foreshadow the second day of trial for him? Was the opening not enough to clue the player in? Who thought this was necessary?" *ding
"Also... does Ema even know Kristoph Gavin well enough to do impressions of him? Have they even met? How would we know?" *ding
(Klavier points out flaws in the case's premise) "Why is Klavier Gavin the only voice of reason of this trial? I mean, good on him, but sin on everyone else." *ding
(Vera stares at Klavier) "Foreshadowing." *ding
"Why does Vera draw the same thing in her sketchbook multiple times? Isn't that a waste of paper?" *ding
"Vera is in love with all things Gramarye, but still refers to Trucy (a Gramarye)'s magic as 'gags'. If she knows her dad has been watching Wright and Co. for seven years now, and knows the contents of what he sees, why isn't Vera fangirling at this very moment? Does she really not know who Trucy is?" *ding
(The "what's 'hard?!'" exchange) "Apollo is hard for Klavier? That beats my fanfiction." *ding
(Vera kept the stamp because of the picture on it) "And to think, if Kristoph had used any other stamp, he would have gotten away with everything. How many times is he going to foil his own plot for one of the most minor and stupid of reasons in this game?" *ding
"Klavier freaks out at the mere mention of Gramarye here (as well as any connection this case has with his first case), but in the last case, he hired Valant Gramarye to perform at his music show with no traumatic flashbacks to speak of. What changed between now and then? Did Klavier not recognize the guy? Was it really possible he never learned the magician's name? How does this make any sense?" *ding
(Vera faints) "Make no mistake, I still like this scene. But I can't be the only one who thinks it would have been way cooler as a surprise. Why did the opening feel the need to spoil it for us? I'm still mad about this, goddammit!" *ding
"Also, fainting in court cliche. Though Vera is the current record holder for the series, she is far from the first character to do this, so unfortunately, I must sin." *ding
(The flashback case) "They put a case inside a case? I'm as excited as the next player for this trial, but why put it midway into the finale? Why not just do what T&T did and make it its own episode? Was the desire to not parallel with T&T that strong?" *ding
(Phoenix and Zak/Shadi play poker in the detention center) "Where did the glass go? Where did this table come from? I don't know, but look: Phoenix in his attorney suit!" *ding
"Shadi Enigmar. This asshole sucked enough ass as a victim. Now we gotta interact with him alive?" *three sins
(Trucy as a little girl) "..." *quietly removes a sin
"Trucy was supposed to have her first magic show the day her daddy disappeared forever. This is both heartbreaking and skipped over entirely. Did Trucy get to perform? I need closure for Trucy's first show!" *ding
"Also, Phoenix receives unverified evidence from a strange girl, and still uses it in court as if it's completely legit. I'd sin this harder than I'm going to... if this wasn't completely in character for the series up to this point. It isn't stupid of Kristoph to assume Phoenix would fall for the trap. It actually shows that he knows Phoenix (and his style) well enough to take a risk like this and have it pay off. Phoenix may be the dumb one for doing this, but he isn't out of character just yet." *sin, but only one
"Though I have to ask: how did Trucy not recognize Kristoph as the person who gave her the evidence? Did he have a messenger do it? Was he wearing a disguise? This is never explained." *ding
("They're calling him 'a true thoroughbred in the history of the prosecutor's office'... Of course, there's one of those every year.") "This cockiness is a large part of Phoenix's undoing, but I gotta say: Phoenix Wright would be awesome at CinemaSins." *ding
(Zak tells Phoenix he won't be declared guilty) "Foreshadowing." *ding
"Throwing the lawyer in with no information about the case cliche. AKA one of the most frustrating cliches in the series. I've said it before and I'll say it again: it only exists so the writers don't have to write an investigation sequence." *two sins
(Klavier as a teenager) "This character design. His fashion sense really improved over the years, didn't it?" *ding
"Klavier reads Phoenix's mind, but never once serves as the man's assistant or had a secret shared past with him. How is this possible?" *ding
"Detective Gumshoe." *removes a sin
("Today's the day, pal. Today, I win, and you lose!") "I remove a sin for Gumshoe, then he wastes his time on the stand foreshadowing what we already know to be true. But I really don't want to give the entire sin back, so-" *I add half instead
"Using music from the first game. Their Logic theme isn't nearly as good, but-" *removes a sin for pure nostalgia
"Why did it take six days for this case to reach court? That's never explained." *ding
(Magnifi ordered his disciples to kill him) "Does killing under duress carry the same legal penalty as plain ol' murder in this universe? I ask because, under US law, defense of duress can lead to a full acquittal in some cases. I know it's not in Phoenix's style to believe their client did it, but why not at least try? He could avert his disbarment by doing this!" *ding
"This is a really nitpicky sin, but... when Apollo is the point of view character, sentences that end with both an exclamation point and a question mark have the two symbols in the correct order of '?!'. But when it's Phoenix, the game reverts back to the first game's habit of writing them in the wrong order, like '!?'. Why does this change by point of view? It seems too consistent to be unintentional (minus a few times in the final trial, this rule always holds), so if it was supposed to be done... why? What purpose could this possibly serve?" *ding
("You need to think for yourself, pal!" "You fail to grasp the concept of 'questioning', detective.") "...Oh, Phoenix. How I've missed you." *removes a sin
"Also, up until the fateful presenting of forged evidence, both defense and prosecution are making wonderful arguments that are logical, easy to follow and understand, and believable for their respective character. The dialogue is well paced and characterized, and the mystery is simple yet engaging. This may be the best writing of the entire game, and it's unfortunately overshadowed by the time-traveling, moral-bending bullshit that follows." *no sin
(Zak and Valant's Quick Draw Shootem) "'Character is ignorant of well-known information so that the audience can be informed' cliche." *ding
(Phoenix asks Klavier to prove how Zak would have gotten a second bullet) "Easy: the troupe had them on hand from when their shootem trick was popular. If Magnifi had one in each of the guns, they're clearly still lying around. I know Klavier is new at this, but really? Phoenix might be right here, but his argument proves nothing." *ding
(Zak refuses to explain why he can't refuse Magnifi) "Past incident is related to today cliche inside past incident flashback that's related to the current case. That's two past incidents in the same episode for the price of one. And I made fun of the first game for using so many." *ding
(Valant on the stand) "Damn. Young Valant was cute. Why did Thalassa pick Zak, again?" *ding
"Valant says the fact he reported the crime should clear him of suspicion, but we've had several killers call the police on their own murder in this series. Not to mention, someone who reported the crime to police was still made defendant earlier this very game. Well, not chronologically earlier, but you get my point." *ding
("And if it wasn't Zak Gramarye, then the killer was you, Valant. And no disappearing act will get you out of that.) "Phoenix incorrectly foreshadows the ending of this flashback. While there is indeed a disappearing act, it's Zak who runs away with the help of his daughter, not Valant. It also isn't Valant who killed Magnifi, but that's a sin for another time." *ding
(Klavier misspoke about rifling marks) "Irritating as this mistake (and consequent loss of a contradiction) is, I can completely believe a teenage prosecutor on his first case making a mistake like this. It truly makes me appreciate the dynamic of Phoenix being the more experienced lawyer for once in this series. This may be my love of Klavier talking, but-" *no sin
"If the doctor determined the precise time of death to be 11:10pm, why does the autopsy report only say the time of death was between 11:00 and 11:30? Did the first doctor disagree with the mortician? This isn't really explained." *ding
(Valant mentions receiving a bust of himself, and Phoenix complains it's a "trip down memory lane that no one needs") "If no one wants to remember Turnabout Big Top, why are they still writing in references to it? This is also never explained." *ding
(Valant's damage animation) "Have those doves and rabbits been on him this entire time? Why would Valant bring them to court with him? Wouldn't they just be a nuisance? And why are there no rules about bringing animals into this place?" *ding
"Also, the colors contradiction. Phoenix was an art student; he should know that blue and yellow make green. Sure, he later changes his claim to 'Valant shouldn't have known this', but that's not what he's saying here." *ding
(Klavier's theme plays for the first time this flashback when disproving the contradiction) "This music cue is extremely well done." *removes a sin
(Pursuit: Cornered plays) "I know I've already removes three sins for music in this review, but... I'm an Ace Attorney fan. And I don't know a single Ace Attorney fan who is not a complete sucker for this song." *rocks out in the background while removing another sin
(Discussing why Valant knew the liquid color) "I hate to do the prosecution's work for him, but... isn't this easily explained? Magnifi Gramarye has been in the hospital for some time now. I find it hard to believe neither of his disciples visited him before being ordered to, if only to keep up appearances. Unless they always used a blue bag when giving him his IV, both Zak and Valant should be familiar with the liquid's color. Heck, Valant could just say the bag was clear the last time he visited and he assumed it was the same, and this contradiction would be done for. Once again, Phoenix might be right, but his argument doesn't prove that." *ding
(The judge is about to declare a second day of trial when-) "Klavier's theme music starts playing before the dramatic 'pan between the characters after an interjection' reaches him. I would guess this bungled music cue is easy to fix, so why was it left in the game?" *ding
"Also, you know what I would love to see? Phoenix facing off against Klavier for a second time in AA7. Klavier wants to face Phoenix in an honest trial and Phoenix assures him he no longer holds any grudges about what happened way back when. It would be a nice resolution for the two's relationship, especially since we never see them apologize or forgive each other on-screen." *no sin, just me thinking
"Magnifi's diary clearly has a ripped page, but we aren't allowed to present that as evidence. No, the player has to get Phoenix disbarred instead. Which is a really hard thing to get players to do when they know exactly what's coming. Am I the only one who thinks it would have been better if the players did it the same way Phoenix did: without knowing the consequences until it was too late? They can't hide the fact that this is the case where Phoenix gets disbarred, but if we didn't know exactly how? I, at least, would be on the edge of my seat the whole time. I swear, one of my biggest gripes with this case and game is that it gives you all the dramatic information too early to have the appropriate impact, making it just feel... flat and contrived. I'm not alone in thinking this way, right?" *ding
(Klavier tries to talk Phoenix out of using forged evidence, saying it's "not to late to rethink this and avoid more... embarrassment.") "Klavier is every player ever during the 'Phoenix presents forged evidence' scene for the reasons outlined above." *ding
"Drew Misham's hair." *ding
"Also, Drew Misham appears to have no eyeballs. The longer I look at it, the creepier it is." *ding
"Misham claims he leaves a mark on all 'his' work so that he knows it's 'his', but we never learn what that mark is. And isn't that a dumb thing to do if your job is to make exact forgeries of things?" *ding
"Phoenix is disbarred for unknowingly presenting forged evidence, but when Edgeworth did the same thing in SL-9, his only consequences were self-induced. I know I sinned this in my Rise from the Ashes review, but I'm sinning it here too, because no one explains this shit. Why is the punishment so unequal between the two men? Are defense attorneys held to stricter standards than prosecutors, for some reason? Does unknowingly presenting forged evidence have a two-year statute of limitations? Have the laws gotten stricter between 2015 and 2019 without our knowledge? Why does neither game explain this?!" *three sins
(Zak's escape act) "Instead of appealing his case like a normal person, Zak acts like a guilty man and flees the scene, leaving his eight-year-old daughter behind with no one to take care of her. Not that he'd be able to care for her from jail, but she'd at least be able to visit him, right? I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Zak Gramarye is a jerk." *two more sins
"The MASON System." *thirty sins
"Who is Phoenix talking to? The players? The jury? If the former, he's breaking the fourth wall more blatantly than usual. If the latter... How the fuck are they doing this? Did Phoenix become a game designer over the past seven years? Why didn't he go into that instead of piano playing? Is it a video they're just watching that he edited together? Where was he storing all seven years of footage, and when did he get good enough with computers and technology to make this? Isn't the software expen- I'm overthinking this when I can just as easily sin." *ding
(Wright and Co.) "How was Phoenix able to adopt Trucy? He's a single, unemployed, twenty six-year-old man whose only parenting experience is watching Pearl. What social worker is allowing this, and how many rules are they breaking in order to do it? Manfred Von Karma getting Edgeworth made more sense than this." *ding
(Trucy claims she's now directly descended from the famous Phoenix Wright) "That's... not quite how it works. Descend implies that you share blood with a person, and Phoenix is only your adoptive father. And yes, I am really sinning an eight-year-old for not understanding genetics." *ding
(Trucy was Phoenix's light) "This is really sweet and all, but... where was Maya when all this happened? She hasn't gone off to Khura'in yet. She would have heard about it sooner or later. Edgeworth probably would have heard right away, Larry would have stumbled on it somehow or another, Gumshoe must be heartbroken, and so on, but the game can't even devote a sentence to explain where these people went after Phoenix's life shattered? Why not?" *ding
(Courthouse) "Mike Meekins. Don't ask why he was allowed to recur as a character. I genuinely have no idea." *ding
("I took my police uniform as a souvenir the day I was fired." "That can't be legal.") "Phoenix steals my lines." *ding
(Figuring out how Zak escaped) "Why is Lobby No. 1 right next to Courtroom No. 7? Wouldn't it make more sense to put it next to Courtroom No. 1? Who designed this courthouse like this? More importantly, why?" *ding
("Tha-Tha(x40)- What's that?") "This goes on for some time." *ding
"Trucy was already working at the Wonder Bar at the age of eight? That-I'm sorry. That's gotta be violating child labor laws." *ding
"The great Detective Guamshoe." *ding
(Borscht Bowl) "Why is the Borscht Bowl Club labelled under present day? The events we investigate there happened six months ago." *ding
"Look at Zak here. He's clearly in a expensive suit. Whatever he's been up to, he's making good money. Meanwhile, Phoenix has been banging away at a piano he can't play and throwing chips around in a dark room while Trucy's worked in bars from the age of eight to make ends meet. Phoenix even brings her down to cheat with him, all so they don't starve. Allow me to say it a third time: Zak Gramarye is a jerk." *three sins
"Also, how has Zak been able to go unnoticed all these years? He used to be famous on TV, and it's not like he changed his appearance." *ding
"How many times to we have to watch the same 'cards across table' animation? I swear, this must be the tenth time." *ding
"If Zak was planning on vanishing from the get-go, why did he care who his attorney was? The very fact he snubbed Kristoph is what set off this whole chain of events. Sure, he couldn't have known the guy was a psycho who would eventually kill him for it, but the fact remains that We Could Have Avoided This Plot. Very easily. We don't even have a solid reason for it happening in the first place, and the game expects me to be invested in anything that goes on? The fuck?" *ding
"And why did Zak even need to run anyway if he just wanted to keep the transferal of rights for himself and eventually Trucy? Would it not still pass to Trucy if he were imprisoned? I don't understand his reasoning, and I don't think the game does either." *ding
"Also, Zak had the real diary page with him the whole time, and never felt the need to say anything. Even when they were discussing the diary, and he saw Phoenix with a fake page. Do I need to say it again? Please don't say I need to say it again." *four sins
(Zak gives the transferal of rights to Phoenix) "I'm glad Trucy is allowed to perform Magnifi's magic, but... why is this considered legit? The person handling it is a disbarred attorney known for forging things, and as we all saw from the first trial day, Brushel isn't exactly a reliable witness. Who's gonna believe Phoenix got this letter from a guy who disappeared seven years ago three days before time runs up? I mean, I know they end up believing him, but why? What reason has Phoenix given to convince everyone he's credible when he proved to Apollo and the player just how capable of deception he is in the first act of the game? Do the scriptwriters think I'm blindly on his side just because he used to be the main character? I think they genuinely want to believe that." *ding
"Also, even if they believe Phoenix actually got this paper from Zak Gramarye... why would they believe Zak got it from Magnifi? For all they know, Zak forged the page himself to give his daughter one last gift and get back at his old rival. The only other people who could confirm Zak was given the rights are Magnifi, who's dead, and Valant, who has no interest in doing so. Why the ever loving fuck does no one question this?" *ding
"...And shouldn't the paper say 'Shadi Enigmar', not 'Zak Gramarye'? Legal documents are supposed to use legal names, no?" *okay, I promise. That is my last sin for this.
(Solitary Cell 13) "I would sin Kristoph's lavish cell, but having played AAI2 now, I'm not as surprised by it as I used to be. In fact, I'm more impressed he managed to get that giant ass bookshelf into the cell. The cell door clearly isn't big enough, and Kristoph doesn't strike me as a talented furniture builder, so... how the fuck did this ever happen?" *ding
"Though I do have to ask: where is Kristoph's bed in this cell? Or his toilet? He's in Solitary Confinement. Those cells should have such things." *ding
"The Black Psyche Locks. The next game tries to come up with an explanation for them, but that doesn't change the fact that they were just meant to be an unbreakable dead end in this one." *ding
(Examining the bookshelf) "What bird is that? It looks like someone shrunk Polly and made her purple." *ding
"Vongole sounds utterly adorable. Like, cuter than Shoe adorable. So naturally, we never meet her." *ding
(Kristoph lets Phoenix have his nail polish) "Villain unwittingly gives hero weapon needed to defeat them cliche. In fairness to Kristoph, there's no way he could have known Phoenix would travel back in time and show it to twelve-year-old Vera. I'm going out on a limb here, but I'd say that's typically not the first thing people think of when they lend someone something." *ding
(Drew Studio) "Misham's wife divorced him for being a broke-ass painter, but left their daughter behind. In real life, Mrs. Misham would at least have to pay child support and would be way more likely to win custody of the kid, but hey: parallels gotta parallel, yo." *ding
"If Misham was given a handwritten sample of what Kristoph wanted written on the page, couldn't Phoenix use handwriting analysis to link Kristoph to the forgery? It's not strong evidence, no, but it's better than 'recreated' letters obtained illegally. Kristoph also appears to have handwritten the letter regarding payment, and that's already been accepted as evidence in the current trial. Why does Phoenix not even try this?" *ding
(Breaking Misham's Psyche-Locks) "We get flashbacks for things that happened literally ten seconds ago. Who thought that was necessary, and why?" *ding
"Vera Misham's profile at twelve has information about her nineteen-year-old self. This bothers me more than it should." *ding
"Misham left his daughter alone in the studio with someone who paid six figures for forged evidence and never revealed their identity to him. And he wonders how she nearly got kidnapped once." *ding
("Still looking for the keys that say 'do re me'. Can't find them anywhere!") "Solfege syllable 'mi' is misspelled. No wonder Phoenix has trouble finding it." *ding
(Phoenix pretends to be a Gramarye fan) "This act is so obviously fake, it's hilarious. (Mocking him) 'Woah! Magic! ...You know?'" *ding
(In detention with Valant) ("It does no good to interfere with the past, Mr. Wright. You will not uncover answers. Only wounds.") "Valant tries to warn Phoenix out of creating the MASON System. It goes badly." *ding
(Phoenix talking to Brushel) "Brushel confirms Zak is a physically abusive friend, but is too interested in a story to leave him alone. And I don't know who's worse in this scenario... Eh. Why sin one when you can sin both?" *two sins
(Brushel claims Thalassa's first husband "died in an accident on stage".) "You know, you'd think with re-releases made after Spirit of Justice, they'd be more inclined to clean up the retconning like they did in the trilogy. Too bad they didn't consider it worth the effort." *ding
"Brushel carries a portrait of his friend's 'dead' wife with him everywhere he goes and no one thinks that's weird." *ding
(Phoenix talks about passing on the torch to the next generation, saying it's "not my role anymore") "...Until we find out that players as a majority don't like that idea, and keeping coming up with excuses to give Phoenix at least half the spotlight in every following game to the point where his subordinates and Trucy suffer for it. Not sure what game I'm sinning here, but it's a sin nonetheless." *ding
(Phoenix says he needs to meet the one who helped give the Gramarye power to another generation with Thalassa) "Jove Justice? Sorry to tell you this, Phoenix, but he's been dead a little while n- oh, you meant Zak. Dammit." *ding
"Phoenix says he can't remember Apollo's name... even when he has it written twice on the guy's profile." *ding
("So Trucy has an older brother... I wonder what will come of that.") "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Phoenix knows who Apollo's mother is, but feels no need to tell him, even after two fucking years. This game could have tied up that plot thread nice and neatly right in this case. Dual Destinies could have done more than their bare minimum to avoid retconning this game and devoted a case to this reveal. Spirit of Justice could have brought it up in the convoluted beast of a case that was Turnabout Revolution, where we learned about Apollo's father. It has been ten plus years and two main series games since this reveal, and there are still hanging threads, all because Yamakazi didn't feel like cleaning up Takumi and Endo's mess. I don't know who I'm sinning here, but it's a sin nonetheless." *ding
(Explaining how Perceiving works) "Several minutes of pseudo-scientific bullshit. We have spirit channeling in this universe. We accept the existence of magic. Just call your superpower magic and get on with it." *ding
(Valant of the present has Psyche-Locks) "Of the eight portions of the MASON System, seven of the feature Psyche-Locks. One even features two: Drew's and Vera's. That is way too many Psyche-Lock segments to cram into a short ass period of time. What, did they think we'd miss the feature so much in the rest of the game, we'd want a whole game's worth in the finale? (Mockingly) 'And you get some Psyche-Locks, and you get some Psyche-Locks, and you-'" *ding
(Showing Valant the Transferal of Rights) "When did Phoenix go visit Valant in this MASON System? I ask because the day before the first trial, he gave this evidence to Trucy and Apollo. Now, he has... woah. I just realized that of the eight events in this MASON System, I only actually know when three of them happened, much less when they happened in relation to each other. That's what happens when you feel like going on an acid trip through some time-wimey bullshit of a finale investigation. I'd be angrier than I am, but honestly, I'm more confused. And when I'm confused like this, I refuse to give a shit about anything told to me until it makes sense. In this case, it never does." *five sins
"Phoenix presents damaging evidence to the sort-of villain and is surprised when it goes- wait, Valant doesn't just make the evidence disappear? Why the fuck not? It's what I'd do, if I were him." *ding
"Phoenix suggests the possibility of a third disciple as a joke, but Spirit of Justice takes him seriously. And so is Mr. Reus is born." *ding
(Magnifi killed himself) "Even if Magnifi was going to kill himself after this... did he have to make it look like Valant murdered him? What else did he think Valant was going to do but try to shift the blame off himself? His manipulative, controlling, over-dramatic antics in death are the cause of this entire story's problems, and if he hadn't been the asshole he was, none of this would have happened. I suppose this is where Zak gets it?" *ding
"Valant is slightly less of a jerk than Zak and Magnifi. I'd remove a sin, if I wasn't an asshole with higher standards than this." *ding
"Valant plays the pronoun game regarding Thalassa for no apparent reason." *ding
(Back to Solitary Cell 13) "Kristoph isn't in his cell, but the guard lets Phoenix enter anyway. Why? Was he in on Phoenix's plan to catch Kristoph in a second murder? Did Phoenix pay him off? This is never explained." *ding
(The yellow letter) "This letter should be addressed to Kristoph Gavin, but is instead addressed to a man named David Krisler. Furthermore, Blazing Springs, California is not a real place that exists, nowhere in LA only uses three numbers for street addresses, and to top it off, while there is an Apple Street in Los Angeles (where the localized series takes place), it's zip-code is 90016, not 96012. Why make this letter heading legible if all the information on it is wrong? It's like this game is begging me to give it more sins than it will ever need. Is it trying to beat Turnabout Revolution?" *Know what? I'll indulge its request. Five sins
(Contents of the letter) "'Like you said it would'? Have Kristoph and Misham been keeping in contact all these years? Kristoph never mentioned this in his red letter, so they must be. If so, how did Phoenix not find out about this sooner? As Phoenix has just proved, snooping through letters isn't exactly difficult business, and he had access to both men. Are you telling me in his seven year investigation, he never saw evidence of this on either side until now?" *ding
(The camera/button reveal) "...Okay, that was cool." *removes a sin
"Whoo hoo! The MASON System is over, I'm free, I can- wait, there's still a trial after this? Why?! The jury's seen the MASON System Phoenix edited together. They have all the information they need to make the choice he wants them to, and nothing presented in the trial will change that. I don't hate playing as Apollo, and think he's actually a good lawyer in this game, but in the game's final chapter, he's written to be utterly useless. If you take even a second to think about it. there are zero stakes in the last part of this game. Apollo could show up to the second day of court dressed like Moe the Clown, do nothing but tell bad jokes the entire time, and nothing about the trial's results would change. And that is why Apollo got a bad reputation as a character from this case. Because this game did him dirty." *ten sins
"Hey, what was Apollo doing while the MASON System was going on? Did he just spend the entire rest of the day yesterday at the hospital, or slacking off in the office? He clearly never watched the MASON System, because he still doesn't know who his mother is, and it's not like he really has to do anything (for the reasons outlined above), but hey: a girl can be curious." *ding
"And once again, the court feels no need to suspend their proceedings while their nineteen-year-old career criminal defendant faces near death after a long delayed murder attempt that ends up being a really close call, a la Turnabout Corner. If they don't have to suspend their verdict when the defendant is on the brink of death, why do they have to do it when the defendant flees the building? What are the rules on whether or not to continue the trial? And don't you dare tell me the plot." *ding
("Mr. Wright told me everything that's been going on behind the curtain all these years.") "No he did not." *ding
"Why does the judge know Kristoph's cell number from memory?" *ding
("Owning the same nail polish does not a murderer make.") "As much as I want to diss this line as being Yoda speak, it's actually grammatically correct. Believe it or not." *so I can't sin it. Just stare at how weird it looks
"Brand name gavels are a thing that exists in this universe. Who knew?" *ding
(Kirstoph's hand devil) "This tell Creeps. Me. Out." *ding
(Kristoph challenges the validity of Perceive, asking if all tense witnesses are guilty) "Kristoph Gavin would be awesome at CinemaSins. Now wouldn't that be interesting?" *ding
"Kristoph Gavin is so savage delivering penalties... I almost want to remove a sin." *but I don't. This case doesn't deserve it
("Or perhaps you'd like to suggest I can somehow manipulate coincidence?") "Well, Phoenix Wright is pretty good at it. It's not like it's much of a stretch." *ding
(Klavier calls Kristoph out on his bullshit) "Klavier Gavin is awesome... and still making our case for us in the goddamn finale. I feel like removing and adding a sin simultaneously." *in the end, they cancel out
(Apollo insists Phoenix couldn't have ordered the forgery) "Nothing Apollo is saying is wrong here, but isn't there a much easier way to prove this? Just ask yourself a simple question: Since when does Phoenix have a hundred grand in disposable income?" *ding
(Phoenix's forgery of the letter) "Not only is the handwriting terrible, but Phoenix didn't even correctly copy the bullshit heading. David becomes Dasit, 424 Apple Street becomes 121, and the zip code both loses a number and changes, becoming 9801. Again, hilariously inaccurate information that is left legible for no reason." *three more sins for this
(Kristoph insists the reproduction and MASON System shouldn't be considered evidence) "I wanna be mad at the Big Bad for this, but he's completely correct. Even if they were holding a Jurist Trial instead of an Initial Trial, why would evidence law change? Phoenix Wright has clearly revealed himself to have a personal interest in the outcome of this trial, and has proved earlier this game he has no problem altering evidence and hiding inconvenient facts whenever it suits him. How do we know he didn't do that in the MASON System? He's known for forging evidence (even though the allegations were false, he embraces it in time for the first case), and only got his position as head of the jury through (likely) long time contacts in law enforcement (implied to be Edgeworth, though I choose to believe Edgeworth didn't know the details. His moral code in Dual Destinies is irreconcilable with this bullshit). He was given free reign over the jury to influence them however he wants, and no one is overseeing his work to make sure the trial is fair.
"Sure, you can defend Phoenix by saying this was all he could do to bring Kristoph to justice, but this is where the sin I mentioned in the first case comes into play again: why should I care about taking down a man who's already in jail? Any victim we could have saved by doing so is dead or dying (she's saved for some unknown reason if declared not guilty. Don't ask me how. I don't know), and really, the only person who gets a practical benefit out of doing this... is Phoenix Wright himself. He gets out from under the forgery accusations and can become a lawyer again. Through this warped lens... can we really believe Phoenix is telling us the truth? Or has he become an unreliable narrator we're just expected to believe in because of our past memories?
"...Sounds pretty cool on paper, right? I swear, this concept would be a lot more interesting if it wasn't executed so poorly." *ding
(Trucy already knew what happened to her father) "And she went through with her role in the first case and this one anyway, not even pausing to grieve. Go Trucy." *removes a sin
(Explaining Kristoph's plan) "Game considers us incapable of understanding this from the MASON System alone. How dumb does the game think we are?" *ding
"To this day, Kristoph's breakdown is the only one that still scares me. I can sit through all the others no problem. This one? Have to cover the screen." *accidentally removes a sin
(Klavier and His Honor's speeches) "...It's at this moment I remember that Japan was moving to a Jurist system of its own while this game was being made. Nice as these speeches are, they sound like direct quotes from politicians. The sheer amount of corruption that Phoenix gets away with to prove his point, and our (the jury's) willingness to accept it... this game series started as a funhouse mirror of Japanese law, and this entry is no different. On one side, you've got lawfully evil Kristoph Gavin. We agree he's guilty, but the current system can't prove it. On the other, we have morally grey Phoenix Wright, who manipulates the people around him and does every evil thing Kristoph does, bar murder, to take his opponent down. On the surface, this game seems to support the new system. But look deeper, and I think they were poking holes at it. Especially by 2015, when the Jurist System in DGS is bases on rash fits of emotion and little else. The argument made here for the Jurist System is the same argument Ryu makes against the Jurist System in the first DGS (and, I have to assume, DGS2). Again: would be a lot more interesting if it didn't require time travel." *but no sin
(Phoenix put the defense team's mom on the jury) "You know what I bet the real reason Phoenix hasn't told Apollo yet is? He doesn't want anyone to realize how biased his test trial was. If they did, they would do more than throw the system out. They would throw him out. For good this time." *ding
"Also... how is Thalassa a juror? She's not even an American citizen as Lamiroir! It is impossible to get US citizenship in three months, and foreign residents are not allowed to serve on juries by law. How the fuck is she even here?" *ding
"This is the stupidest, most easily avoided bad ending ever. Why would the player choose to vote against their own case?" *I don't even care that this is almost over. Five sins anyway
"Game pretends to end on a hopeful note, like it doesn't even wanna touch the darker side of how its issues got resolved. Perhaps they were meant to, but the series went six years without a direct sequel, and Dual Destinies did what it could to pretend this game didn't exist. New writer, new new lawyer, new graphics, new everything. Maybe I'd be happy to forget this game exists too, if I wasn't so goddamn stubborn." *but no more sins. Be happy the credits are rolling.
Total Sin Tally: 213.5
Sentence: Jurist Trial Congressional Committee (during Kristoph's testimony)
A/N's: So it's three am. I've been working on this since seven yesterday evening, and was up to the MASON system at that point. I was expecting to clock in at around six thousand words.
There's eight and a half thousand. Closer to nine, actually. Needless to say, there was a lot wrong with this case.
Sure, I had to go back and edit the next morning, but I didn't want to wait any longer to have this case sinned and out of the way. Believe it or not, I'd rather be sinning Justice For All (which is next). Even Turnabout Big Top, while flawed, had different flaws than this case. This one isn't ranked as the wrost finale for me, but it's down there. the highest it's ever ranked is seventh out of ten games, and the lowest is ninth. I go back and forth.
For anyone curious, the total sin tally of this entire game is 506. Lower than DD and SoJ, but higher than the first game. Don't know if that's significant to anyone, but now you know.
Anyway hope you all enjoyed my sleep deprived rambling and that I somewhat fixed it. Thanks for sticking with me, please review, and I'll see you on the far side!
