Many thanks to all those that sent in their support.

As some may have noiticed, the latest chapter of Gaiden was put up recently. I know it's a lot shorter than what yu all were expecting, but s I said it's been a while and Gaiden was one of my earlier works, and getting back into the flow of things is harder than it looks.

So I'll apologise for anything ou didn't like here, and in my defense: It's most likely Kakashi's fault on some level...stupid lazy bastard with his contagious tardiness.

Rorschach: Man has issues...that means he can be broken.


Gaara abducted?! Team Kakashi moves out!

Sasori scuttled closer to the prone form of the Kazekage, quirking an eyebrow slightly as he took in the redhead's features, noting various similarities to himself in the youth's age. 'Young…determined…a master of his art…' he snorted 'were it not for the fact he doesn't use puppets I'd have wished to challenge him myself.'

"Heh…thanks for the assist, Sasori no Danna." Deidara offered, the pelican swooping down to hover nearby "Thought I was in trouble there for a moment-un."

"You kept me waiting." Sasori ground out, glaring at the younger Akatsuki in annoyance as he used the tail to lift their prey onto the mount's back "I should kill you."

"Sorry," Deidara offered, a wry smirk on his face "You were right, I should've been more prepared." He eyed the hunchback respectfully "You really know your stuff."

"Outside of formerly being from Suna..." Sasori ground out "I have a decent understanding of all the previous vessels for Shukaku." He glared at the blonde one last time before turning around "I'll see you at the entrance."

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Kankurou blinked as the intruder's bird took flight from the roof, cursing as he realized something must have happened to Baki when he caught sight of Gaara on the golem's back. Barking out an order to the troops, the middle sand sibling leapt after the invader, hauling ass through the village as he made his way to the entrance, only to stare, gob-smacked, at the scene before him.

'No wonder we didn't get any warning.' He thought grimly, face a mask of anger and disgust as he gazed at the fallen chunin and jounin. He'd known some of these guys for some time now. They weren't anything special, at least by Suna standards, but they were good men and dedicated to the village. They didn't deserve to be left like this.

'No time for that.' He muttered, saying a silent prayer on the go as he continued onwards, bypassing all the traps left to slow him down until he cleared the entrance, only to curse as he spotted the beast was already a good march away from the village.

"Hold it!" He snapped, catching their attention, cursing as he realized he was outnumbered "Give Gaara back!"

"God…again?" the blonde one moaned, looking decidedly haggard as he gazed at the kabuki wearing nin "What is up with this gods-damned village-un?"

"That's what you get when you don't plan ahead." The shorter of the two ground out, earning an irate look from his partner as he turned to face Kankurou "Go on ahead, I'll deal with this brat."

"Like hell you will!" Kankurou ground out, removing the scrolls on his back and rolling them out on the sand. A plume of smoke later, and three puppets were clattering around him, Karasu and Kuro-Ari joined by a massive, lizard like puppet, Sanshouo.

"Kugutsu no jutsu?" the shorter noted, actually sounding a little intrigued unless Kankurou's ears were acting up. The taller Akatsuki promptly leapt atop his mount and flew off, clearly not wanting to get caught in the middle of the impending fight.

"Like I'd let you get away!" Kankurou yelled, weaving his fingers and sending Karasu rattling after the man, all the blades extended, only for it to be swatted out of the sky by a metallic, tail-like attachment that seemed to emerge from the shorter Akatsuki's cloak.

"I despise tardiness…in myself and in others." The short Akatsuki growled, his hat having fallen off to reveal black hair done in spikes at the back and a cloth covering the mouth "So I'll finish this quickly."

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Nestled deep in Hi no kuni, Konohagakure was a picture of peace and quiet, in fact, if one listened carefully, they could hear birds singing in the woods around the village.

"YOU"RE LATE!!!"

This ended as a pair of irate voices tore through the air, scaring the bejeezus out of the local wildlife, who promptly made for the hills, as it appeared The Fox was making up for lost time.

And sure enough, Uzumaki Naruto and Hanabishi Recca stood seething at their sensei as he slowly pulled himself out of the wall, having embedded him in it through sheer force of will and lungpower. "Wari-Wari…" the harangued looking jounin offered, a weak chuckled escaping his lips as he waited for the world to stop spinning "I got caught up filing the paperwork for the new teams and-"

"Yeah, yeah heard 'em all before sensei." Naruto huffed, a hand on her hips as she shook her head in disbelief "Mataku…this is the first time we've been on missions together for two years! Show some gumption!"

"Gumption?" Recca repeated, a deadpan expression on his face as he turned to look at his outoto"From Kaka-sensei?" he smirkd, cocking an eyebrow "You're kidding right?"

'I don't get no respect…' Kakashi thought bitterly, blinking as something shot through the sky of Konoha like a greased, feathery lightning bolt, headed towards the Hokage tower 'A messenger bird?'

"Oi! Kaka-sensei!" Naruto called out, snapping the jounin out of his daze as she waved at him impatiently "C'mon! Before all the good missions are taken!"

"Hai-hai…" Kakashi muttered, sighing as he plodded along with his usual slouch, hands in his pockets as the two adopted siblings nattered away about this and that "There goes my peace and quiet."

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On the roof of the hokage tower, the chunin and toukobetsu jounin on duty blinked as an eagle touched down on the stand set aside for their allied village, Sunagakure. One of them, who was most familiar with the desert breed, visibly blanched as he recognized this particular bird as Takamaru, the swiftest of Suna's messenger birds, used only for the direst of occasions, such as a proclamation of war or a request for help.

Needless to say, the contents of the scroll were immediately cracked and read over, before the unfortunate translator was forced to run pell-mell down the hallways in search of the Godaime.

After all, when a shinobi village requests for you, in no uncertain terms, to 'SEND BACK-UP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!', you don't sit around all day staring at the clouds.

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"Are you freaking kidding me?" Naruto deadpanned, running her eyes over the list of missions currently available, eyebrow twitching erratically as she did so "This is all that are left?"

"You don't like the missions?" Tsunade asked with an annoyed look, secretly enjoying herself as she watched Iruka, Recca and Kakashi cower away from the redhead, lest they be included in her ire. There was just no-one t tease with the brat gone, the others were either to scared of pissing Tsunade off or respected her too muc to giver her any sass.

"Hell yes I am!" Naruto snapped, throwing the list in the air "I was expecting something big to highlight my return debut! Not providing security during the release of Ero-sennin's book's release!"

"What's the matter Naru-chan." The godaime teased, smirking as the redhead began to fume at the honorific "Not MAN enough to handle a little guard duty?"

"I"LL RIP YOU FREAKIN' TITS OF YOU OLD BAT!" the redhead swore, only to be put in a full nelson by Kakashi, her arms waving wildly as she reached for the Godaime, who was likewise being restrained by terrifed Iruka.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN OLD BAT?!" Tsunade swore, Iruka wondering why in the hell he'd tried to stop her as she thrashed around in his grip like a buxom anaconda "SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME! I DARE YOU!"

"Hokage-sama!" the messenger yelled, slamming open the door to the mission room, only to blanch as the full force of the Godaime's wrathful gaze switched to her "U-urgent m-message from S-Suna!" she managed to get out, handing the document over before making for the safety of the roof, several stories away from the mission room.

Tsunade, glowering slightly at the threat to her babies, cracked the scroll open and read the contents, her anger giving away to the calm only a true leader can emit as her eyes roamed over the missive.

"Neechan?" Naruto called out, a little unnerved by the look of seriousness on the sennin's face. The redhead knew from experience, admittedly secondhand from Jiraiya, that whenever Tsunade fell silent mid-rampage, it was because there was a bigger problem on the way.

"Kakashi, Recca, Naruto." The Godaime called out, taking her seat once more, much to Iruka's relief "We've recently received information that Sunagakure was assaulted by at least two Akatsuki." He frowned "Their target, the Kazekage…Gaara."

"Say what?!" Recca gaped, eyes wide as he stared at the woman in shock, Naruto stiffening alongside him at the news "What thehell happened?!"

"The report requested immediate back-up." Tsunade replied, a fown on her face as she placed the missive on the table "Obviously, they managed to lay down a successful siege against the village."

Recca swallowed, only to blink as he turned his head to regard his Outoto, who hadn't said a word throughout the entire exchange. The redhead's fists were clenched so tight blood was trickling down them, one fanged tooth piercing her lip as she bit down hard.

"Naruto!" Tsunade barked out, causing the redhead to look up into those disapproving eyes "Injuring yourself before taking on a mission is hardly professional." She smirked at the redhead's look of surprise "Pack your bags Team Kakashi…you're going to Suna."

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"A mission this early?" Kagero wondered, placing a palm to her cheek as she watched her sons dash around gathering their supplies "You just got back Naruto-kun."

"I know, Kaa-san." The redhead agreed, packing storage scrolls into her pack, along with tools and other necessities "But this is personal…I can't…I WONT let them take Gaara!"

Kagero nodded, understanding her adopted son-turned-daughter's reasoning all too well. Gaara was the only one that could understand the grief Naruto had suffered as a child, the crushing loneliness that had come from carrying a burden put on them by others. "Take care then." She asked, enveloping Naruto in a motherly hug that pressed the redhead against her impressive, if not up to Tsunade's standards, bosom, despite the teen's protests "We'll celebrate when you come back."

"Ossu!" the teen cheered, dashing off after Recca, who had received a similar farewell from the immortal kunoichi, as well as a tender father-son punch-up with Shigeo, leaving the elder Hanabishi in the dirt as he raced off towards the village "See you later Kaa-san!"

Kagero sighed, before smiling at Reiran, who nodded and saw to Shigeo's injuries while the Kunoichi set about making the tea, a smile on her face as she eyed a photo on the wall.

It showed the teens as they'd been two years ago: Naruto, Recca and Domon at the front, arms around each other's shoulders, Fuko resting on Domon's head with her arm, and Kaoru standing just in front of Recca, all five making victory signs. Tokiya was standing off to one side, his arms crossed and a slight huff to his features, though it may have had something to do with Haku's arm around his waist, the raven haired medic's smile beaming at the cameraman.

Kagero and Shigeo stood in the center, just behind 'their' sons, Shigeo with his arm on her shoulder and she with her own clasped before her serenely. Yanagi stood at her side, beaming happily, Ganko resting in Reiran's arms as the marionette held her up on Shigeo's right.

The Hanabishi clan, otherwise known as the Hokage ningun to a trusted few that didn't give a crock about the elders' ideals. Her family, her most priceless treasure.

'I will not lose a single one.' She vowed, her heart, long abused by the curse that prevented her from dying, thrumming as she reaffirmed the vow 'Never again.'

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"Well then…" Kakashi noted, eye-smiling at his team as he greeted them at the gates to the village, seemingly having gotten there beforehand "All set?"

"Ready, willing and able!" Recca shot back, smirking as he hoisted his backpack to a more comfortable position on his back. Naruto, who had caught up with the enjutsu-shi halfway, merely nodded and thrust a fist in the air.

"Let's get going!" the redhead called out, waving over her shoulder at Tsunade and Iruka with a grin "Ja-Ne, big-booby-neechan! Iruka-sensei!"

"Naruto!" Iruka sputtered, eyeing the bemused Godaime in alarm as he chastised his favorite lunkhead "Show the proper respect to your elders!"

"What was that?" Tsunade growled, causing Iruka to whimper as she turned her, suddenly not amused at all, glare upon the chunin "Did I just hear you right?"

"I…I mean…" Iruka stammered, waving his arms protectively in front of him, before turning to Naruto in a panic "G-good luck Naruto! Ramen's on me when you get back!"

And with that he made his escape via shunshin, leaving an annoyed Godaime, two cackling former students, and one sympathetic Jounin. "I'll deal with him later." Tsunade promised darkly, though she truly wasn't that offended, turning her attention to the group with a nod "Make haste to Suna, who knows what's happened since they sent that letter."

As one the group nodded, turning round and making to set off, only to be interrupted by a sudden plume of smoke. "Yo…" Jiraiya greeted, looking a little haggard as he stepped out of the smoke, like he'd almost stumbled "Heading out on a mission already Gaki?"

"Ero-sennin?" Naruto wondered, gazing at her sensei for the past two years in confused surprise "You coming along too?"

"Hell no! I hate the desert." Jiraiya countered with a disgusted grunt, scowlng at the very idea "Sand gets in the most awkward places lemme tell ya…place doesn't have a decent onsen either."

"How'd you know we were heading for Suna?" Recca wondered, shivering as the pervert gave him a creepy smile, the kind you get from pedophiles and politicians.

"Never underestimate the Gama-sennin." Said sennin intoned, chuckling to himself as he walked past the mildly disturbed enjutsu-shi to address Tsunade with a frown "You sure this is wise?"

"They're the only team that was available." Tsunade replied with a sigh, thumping her shoulder as she did so, before shootingtheir favourite knucklehad a look "That, and Naruto…"

She didn't have to say anymore. Jiraiya knew all too well how much Naruto and Gaara could relate to one another. Hell, the brat could have very well turned out the same way Gaara had if it hadn't been for Iruka taking an interest in a fellow troublemaker and Kagero swooping in and giving him enough motherly affection to write a million shoujo manga.

"Speaking of which." He muttered, before holding out a hand to Tsunade "I'm gonna have to be taking that off you now." He muttered, face deadpan "I promised the brat I'd take it to my publicist when we got back."

Tsunade grumbled, looking oddly like she had whenever her grandfather would give her a lecture all those years ago, before reaching into her kimono and pulling out the paperback she'd 'borrowed' from her teammate earlier from between her boobs, handing it over with a huff. "Don't worry, he usually puts this stuff out fast." Jiraiya assured his teammate, a grin on his face, having caught a flash of nip when she wasn't looking "The only reason 'Tactics' isn't out yet is because he was swamped with work."

"Like I give a crap about your porn." Tsunade grumbled, though her frown lessened somewhat at the man's reassurances. The sooner that stuff was off the pressesand back in her hands the better.

"Also…Naruto, a word?" Jiraiya called out as an afterthought, drawing the redhead away from her team "I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but just to be sure, be careful around Akatsuki."

"They're the one's that've been stalking me for the past two and a half years." Naruto growled, earning a sharp look from Recca as he caught the word 'stalking', his left ear large and twitching "This time I'm the one doing the tracking."

"I get that." Jiraiya grumbled, raising a hand for silence as the redhead made tcarry on "But if you let them get under your skin you'll wind up screwing up and falling right into their hands." He snorted "Just like your mother…too hot blooded for your own good."

Naruto fell silent, knowing full well her temper WAS a little notorious. Nowhere near as bad as Tsunade's or Sakura's…make that ANY born-female he knew aside from Kagero, Yanagi and Hinata, but enough that once the fuse WAS lit, things went to pot rather quickly.

"Naruto…" Jiraiya continued, his face solemn as he leaned in, one hand raised to hide his lips from prying eyes "I'm sure I don't need to say this…but even if push comes to shove…try to avoid using THAT."

He accented his statement by flicking his gaze towards the tekko that adorned his student's arm. Naruto followed the gaze and nodded, absently rubbing the sealing madogu as Jiraiya walked away. "Kakashi." The sennin muttered, walking past the jounin towards the gate "I'll leave Naruto to you." he turned his head to address the man "Make sure the brat doesn't do something stupid."

Kakashi didn't miss the sennin's implied meaning. Anyone who'd seen the look in Jiraiya's eyes would've known that if anything happened to Naruto, they had best be on good terms with the nearest medic or Kami. Which put Kakashi in a bit of a quandary, as the nearest medics all reported directly to Tsunade, who would most likely be just as willing to beat him to a bloody pulp for letting anything happen to her 'Outoto', and last he checked he hadn't visited a shrine since…Obito.

'Stop that.' He growled, nodding to Jiraiya to show the sennin he got the message 'Keep that up and you'll start second guessing everything.' He blinked as Naruto's yell snapped him out of his thoughts, sighing as he realized the impatient teens had already set out, waving over his shoulder one last time before heading after them at a slightly faster walk than normal.

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Temari was making her way sedately through Konoha territory, using one of the official paths that lead to Kaze no kuni's borders. She hadn't managed to shake off the feeling of unease that had arisen during her pit stop, if anything it had multiplied with each passing second. Even as she trudged towards Sunagakure, the feeling refused to die down, and she doubted it would until she stood on the sands of her village once more.

'Just what in the hell is going on?' she muttered, wondering if she should have asked Shikamaru if he'd heard any news before leaving, before dismissing the thought.

A rustling in the trees above drew her attention to the arrival of team Kakashi…or rather three fifths of it, descending on her from on high.

Needless to say, the news they brought with them was EXACTLY the motivation she needed to haul ass back to the village, and having a team of allies that she KNEW were competent tag along was an added bonus.

That said, the red-haired, trans-gendered jinchuuriki certainly needed to slow down a bit. Even running full throttle, it'd take them three days to get to Suna.

"Naruto." Kakashi called out, a little ahead of the rest of the troop as he locked onto the back of the teen's head "I know I said we had to hurry, but splitting the team in two is dangerous." He frowned at the redhead's silence "Didn't Jiraiya-sama tell you to keep it cool-?"

"I can't stand it…" the redhead ground out, her teeth clenched as she continued to leap forwards "Those Akatsuki bastards…first me…now Gaara…and who knows how many others that got screwed over…" her anger seemed to grow with each statement "Those bastards only see us for the bijuu inside us…like we're nothing more than glorified cookie jars they can pluck the goodies out of…I hate it!"

Silence fell over the group, mainly because they'd never seen the youth so worked up before, though Temari and Kakashi eyed him with looks of understanding.

"Gaara's just like me…" Naruto continued, her voice grim as she pressed on "But while I managed to find people early on…he was always alone!" her teeth clenched again "He's being targeted just like me…but I'm not going to let them get away with it!" the knuckles joints of her fists popped "I won't let them have Gaara, even if I have to rip the fucking seal off to do it!"

THAT shocked the hell out of the group, who eyed the redhead in alarm. The seal was the only thing keeping the Kyuubi in place, and while Kakashi had been prepped beforehand on the demon's amiability towards Naruto, the same couldn't be said for it's feelings towards the human race in general. Not to mention the removal of the seal would result in Naruto's death, which would almost certainly piss the demon, not to mention Jiaiya and Tsunade, right the fuck off all over again.

"It won't come to that." Kakashi assured the redhead, his voice decidedly firmer than he'd felt a few seconds ago "We'll get Gaara back Naruto…I promise."

"Got that right!" Recca grinned, wiping his nose with his thumb as he leapt through the air "You're not the only one who's been training like mad! I'm gonna really cut loose!"

"Yare-yare…" Kakashi chuckled, shaking his head in bemusement "You two certainly are energetic aren't you?" he eyed the two coyly "But then again…I'm not the same Kakashi as before either."

Temari looked at the trio in surprise, before closing her eyes solemnly, unable to even thank them for reassuring her so well.

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"I've never seen poison like this before…" and elderly voice noted, her tone solemn, though with a hint of pride and respect "That Sasori…he's grown quite a bit since he left…"

"Chiyo-basama…" Baki addressed the elderly woman respectfully, looking down at the unnaturaly pale form of Kankurou in concern "What should we do?"

Chiyo sniffed, looking miffed as she turned to the jounin "Well, the only person whose knowledge of poison treatment surpasses my own…" she sniffed again "Would be the Konoha no Namekuji…Tsunade-Hime." She tilted her head towards Kankurou "You're allies with Konoha now right? Give 'em a holler and ask 'em to send her here."

"But…she's the Godaime Hokage now…" Baki pointed out, a little unnerved at how out of the loop the elder was "Not only is she incapable of leaving the Village as she pleases, even if she sends a team, it takes at least three days to reach Suna from Konoha." He spread his arms wide as she looked at him "We'd already sent for a specialist team from Konoha." He assured her "But it's taking all we have just to wait for them."

"Hmmph…" Chiyo snorted "This is what you get from relying on you treaties with other nations." She eyed the man critically "You slack off on your own training…and this is what becomes of it!"

"We…" Baki stammered, looking surprised at the woman's words "Had no intention of becoming dependent…"

"It couldn't be helped…" Ebizou muttered, standing at the head of Kankurou's cot "It's because he lost his composure due to sibling affection and let them push him this far." He eyed the sickly teen solemnly "Even Shinobi are human…"

"You're relying too heavily on Konoha." Chiyo pointed out to Baki, not willing to let the conversation die now that she'd built up steam "The advancement of Sunagakure's own might should have taken precedence in your mind!" she scowled "Not only that…I just can't STAND that slug-woman!"

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"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked, looking up at her master's sneeze in concern, picking up some of the papers that had blown off her desk "Are you feeling okay, Tsunade-sama?"

"I'm fine." Tsunade mumbled, rubbing her nose with a sniff and checking for a breeze in the room "More importantly, where's the team I asked to back up Kakashi's cell?"

"Well…" Shizune flustered, looking at a clipboard carefully as she read over the information "They shouldn't be too long…an hour at most…they DID just finish another mission you know."

'I don't like this…' Tsunade grumbled, sitting against her chair, eyeing the winning lottery ticket on her desk 'I get a sinking feeling every time I win at gambling.' She scowled as she recalled a comment Jiraiya had made years ago that seemed to curse her even today 'Dammit, of all the things for that idiot to nail spot on…'

"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked, prompting the Godaime to look up from her thoughts of her perverted teammate "If you don't mind my asking, are you sure one team will be enough support?"

"To be honest? No." the Godaime admitted, biting her thumbnail "However, all other available teams are on missions, and there are few single shinobi that have worked with Kakashi's cell well enough."

"Then perhaps I can offer my services." A polite voice offered from the doorway, the two women looking up in surprise at the figure standing there. "I can catch up to them fairly quickly I assure you."

"You?" the godaime asked, looking at the figure curiously, a frown on her features "I thought you didn't take part in missions? Why the sudden interest?"

"Call it…" the figure suggested, her smile revealing twin beauty marks under her lips "a mother's prerogative."

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"Temari-san?" A spiky haired sand jounin greeted, looking over the ragtag group from Konoha in surprise, they looked half dead as it was, save the redhead in front, who looked ready to rumble "We've been waiting for you all, please, this way!"

"Dammit Naruto…" Recca panted, stubbornly refusing to let his fatigue show as he kept pac with his outoto "Not all of us run on Duracells dammit!"

"Whose cells?" the redhead asked, earning a sweatdrop from the enjutsu-shi as he broke the dimensional 4th wall, not for th first time "Never mind, where's Gaara?!"

"Kazekage-sama was abducted by the Akatsuki." The jounin muttered ashamedly, lowering his eyes as he led them through the village to the hospital "Kankurou-san went after them, but was defeated…"

"Kankurou too?!" Temari exclaimed, alarmed at how badly her family had been hit in one battle, already itching o dish u some payback "What the hell are these guys?"

"S-class shinobi that are hunting down jinchuuriki for their bijuu." Naruto growled, hurrying alongside the blonde kunoichi and shooting their escort a look "Was one of them an Uchiha?"

"Eh?" the jounin stammered, looking confused and a little unnerved by the redhead's equaly crimson glare "Uh no…but then I didn't receive the specifics yet, Baki-sama has the details."

"How bad are Kankurou's injuries?" Kakashi asked, hoping they hadn't screwed the pooch by coming without a medic. But then again, most of the medics were assigned to other teams, Kakashi was pretty well versed in emergency field treatments, but he wasn't so arrogant to believe he could perform life saving surgery on par with trained medic-nins.

"He was poisoned by the Akatsuki that fought him." The jounin responded dutifully "The medics are stumped…we've never encountered anything like this before." He looked downtrodden "I'm guessing none of you are medics?"

"Sorry." Kakashi offered, cursing the fates once again as the man sagged, Temari's eyes filling with despair alongside him 'Dammit, could this get any worse?"

"KONOHA NO SHIROI KIBA! PREPARE TO DIE!" an elderly voice cried out, Kakashi looking up in alarm as a deranged senior citizen descended on him from above like some wrathful goddess of crones. He was so out of it she'd almost clobbered him with a haymaker before Naruto and Recca leapt into the fray, blocking her blows and grunting in pain as she kicked off their chests to put some distance between them.

"What the hell you Baka-Baba?!" Recca gasped as he regained his footing, slipping his trademark gunpowder balls between his fingers "Why'd you jump us like that?!"

"Watch it aniki…" Naruto growled, her palm still tingling from where she'd caught the old bat's boney, vein riddled fist "This ain't no doddering old granny."

"Enemy of my son…" said old woman growled, looking past the chunins towards their alarmed, and more than a little confused, Jounin-sensei with a glare that could set fire to a lake "Konoha no Shiroi Kiba…I shall have my revenge!"

"Whoa-whoa!" Kakashi pled, holding both hands up as he cursed his father's talent for making enemies, as it had once again come round to bite the cyclops in the ass "I'm not who you-!"

"No excuses!" the old bat snapped, lunging forwards with a cackle, only to pull up short as an old man with a bandaged head and owl-like eyebrows stood before her, blocking the way.

"Neechan…" the owl-like senio-citizen chided placatingly, "Take a closer look." he nodded at Kakashi "I'll admit there's an amazingly strong resemblance, but he isn't the Shiroi Kiba…for one thing he's too young."

The crone blinked, squinting her eyes at the visibly unsettled Kakashi, who tried to appear as unthreatening as possible by eye-smiling and holding both hands up placatingly. Her gaze, albeit half concealed by her squint, drilled into the cycloptic jounin like a laser, before blinking and letting out a cackle.

"Just kidding!" she cracked, smiling disarmingly at the group "I was just pretending to be senile!"

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'Talk about Oscar-winning performances.' Recca muttered, sweat dropping along with the rest of the occupants of the room, which he noted included Baki and a set of medics.

"Kakashi." The Suna jounin greeted, his face falling slightly as he realized there was no other help coming, since neither of the remaining group were medics "Can you do anything?"

"Poison isn't my area of expertise." Kakashi admitted solemnly, looking over the rasping Kankurou "Normally I'd suggest bleeding it out, but this late it would've already seeped into his organs and muscle tissue."

"God Dammit!" Naruto cursed, punching her palm in defeat as she glared at the ground in helpless disgust "You mean there's nothing we can do?"

"Even if we sent for a Medic they'd take three days to get here." Kakashi reasoned, head lowered in shame "I'm sorry, I should have requested one be assigned to us…I assumed we'd be walking into a battlefield."

"We underestimated the Akatsuki." Baki admitted with a scowl "Or rather…we overestimated our village's defenses…not only did they get Gaara, but we lost several good men at the gate…and one of the council members has disappeared as well."

"So what?" Recca asked, looking around the room in alarm as evryone lowered their gazes, with the exception of the two elders "You're saying we can't do anything to help?"

"I wouldn't say that." A calm voice countered, causing the Konoha delegates to blink, and the Suna nins to instantly go on edge as a strange, shadow like whirlpool appeared in the air overhead "After all, there's always something you can do if you don't lose hope…ne, Recca? Naruto?"

"Mom?" Recca wondered, a silly grin spreading across his face as the immortal kunoichi appeared, sitting in mid-air, her hands folded comfortably across her lap "Mom!"

"Who are you?" Baki asked, instantly on edge, though he did eye the woman appreciatively behind his piercing glare "And how did you get in here without us knowing?!"

"Please calm yourself Baki-san." Kagero assured the jounin, touching down lightly, her black dress and natural beauty drawing a few appreciative stares "My name is Kagero…though there are those who refer to me as Kagehoshi." She smiled "And as for my being here…well, Tsunade-sama felt Kakashi-san needed some help."

"Good ol' Big booby-neechan!" Naruto cheered, even as Recca let out a cheer, Kakashi sighing in relief at the woman's presence "I knew she wouldn't leave us out to dry."

"So you're going to fight too mom?" Recca asked, looking at the kunoichi in concern. Kagero may have been a fully trained hokage kunoichi with centuries of experience with tactics and madogu, and immortal to boot, but she was still his mother, and no son worth his salt liked the idea of his mother putting herself in harms way.

"For now, I am merely to inform you that back-up is en-route from Konoha." Kagero assured her son, smiling in a way that always seemed to make him flush "However, I believe I can at least provide assistance with Kankurou-san's injuries."

"Back-up?" Kakashi repeated, looking at the beauty before him with wary interest, he'd seen how effective she could be with words alone "How many is she sending?"

"A four man cell." Kagero replied, placing her hand on Kankurou, her cool hands bringing some form of relief to the fever stricken youth "The leader said he'd be here in a day."

"A day?" Kakashi repeated, sounding skeptical "It took us under three days to get here, and that's only because Naruto wouldn't slow down to give us a rest." He shot the embarrassed redhead a bemused look, "Who'd be idiotic enough to think they could make it here in one?"

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"Gai-sensei!" Rock Lee exclaimed, gazing down at the crumpled form of his master and role model. The Taijutsu specialist had been leaping full speed through the trees en route to Suna when he'd been blinded by a massive sneeze, causing him to careen head first into a tree "Are you all right!"

"BWAHAHAHA!" Gai cackled, tossing his head back humorously as he regained his footing "Even a slight fever won't be enough to smother my flames of youth!" he boasted, only to stagger from a mild concussion.

"Mataku…" Tenten muttered, shaking her head in disbelief, a hand on her hip as Lee kept their sensei upright "You should sit down for a few minutes Sensei, you could've cracked your skull!"

It took all of Neji's willpower not to make a snide comment about there being no fear of that. In all honesty, he was far more concerned for the poor tree that the bizarre beast's noggin had assaulted.

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And so the madness continues.

Will Kagero be able to heal Kankurou? Will Chiyo ever get her eyes checked?

Will Gai's concussion keep him from arriving at suna in a single day?

Rorschach: You're posturing, I don't like that.

Kyugan: Meh, the public does.

Rorschach: The Public deservesto know the truth, stop stalling and tell them what they want to know.

Kyugan: God, why'd i ressurect you again? (Eyes the morphing mas) Never mind, go torture Danzo.

Rorschach: Fine (hoists up a metal ppe) ...never liked pedophiles...or would be dictators.

Danzo: (Sitting bound to a char with a sack over his head) What is the meaning of this! Unhand meat once you! (CRACK!) AAAUGH!!!! MY LEG!

Rorschach: (tosing the pipe that shattered Danzo'sknee away) That little piggy got shattered (hoists up an electrc drill over the other knee) This little Piggy's gettng drilled.

Unless you want Rorschach paying a visit...I suggest you leave a review.