Author's Note: Thank you all for the lovely reviews. They really make my day and keep me going.
My work week was crazy as usual, but I found myself staying up until almost 2am working on this one night (I'm normally very early to bed). The good news is I've got two more chapters. The bad news is that I got to work at 7am and I was really ragged out that day. I need to learn to pace myself.
In case you haven't figured it out, I've morphed this from a one-shot post-ep to something of a continuing companion piece. I prefer to write in canon when I can, so I will probably keep that up through the end of the season unless they do something that just totally blows up my little universe. We'll see how it goes.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Big Bang Theory. Nor do I own Sheldon (sadly) or Penny. But I'm very appreciative that the folks at CBS give us such wonderful characters and I hope they don't mind me playing with them, on occasion.
Sheldon watched as his girlfriend walked down the stairs and turned the corner at the first landing. When she was out of sight, he turned to walk back into his apartment. Just as he was about to close the door he heard a strange ninja-like shout coming from across the hall. The shout sounded suspiciously like Leonard's voice.
"Oh dear!" he muttered to himself, "Either Leonard and Penny are breaking up again or they've come up with an even louder way to have coitus. I'm not sure I can take it if I have to put up with that sort of caterwauling in the middle of the night."
Surveying the room, he decided to change out of his good clothes before cleaning up. He walked across the living room, up the step and down the hall to his own room where he removed his jacket, carefully brushed it and hung it in his closet. As he moved to replace the clothes brush in its little holder, he noticed a long hair stuck in the bristles. He gingerly pulled it free, holding it carefully between his thumb and forefinger, and walked to the trashcan sitting just next to his bedside table. As he was about to drop it in, he paused to take a closer look. The hair was much longer than his own, a deep brunette in color. He noticed faint hints of auburn that glinted off it as it shone in the light from his bedside lamp. He sat on the bed and gently drew the hair across his other hand. It was just a single hair, but it evoked the soft, silky feeling he remembered from when he'd lightly stroked Amy's hair earlier that evening while they were watching The Empire Strikes Back.
He wondered if perhaps he was moving a bit too fast with Penny's advice. On at least three occasions when he put her recommendations into effect, Amy had glanced up at him, once looking as if he'd suddenly grown additional ears or turned some alien shade of green.
He'd been somewhat surprised, yet inordinately pleased at the exuberance of Amy's response to his Valentine's Day gift. And to think, it cost him absolutely nothing but the small amount of time he'd spent making the change on the University's online Human Resources website and printing out the summary information sheet. He wondered if he'd be able to get off as cheaply next year on Valentine's Day.
Sheldon thought perhaps he should enter some notes into his computer regarding the evening's events. While his eidetic memory guaranteed that he would remember each moment in minute detail, an abstract would allow him to organize the salient points so that he could better discuss his progress with Penny when next he saw her.
He was about to get up to return to the living room when he realized he was still gently stroking the single hair across the palm of his hand. Making a decision, he opened the small nightstand drawer and quickly located the emergency emesis bag he kept there in case he should become ill at night and be unable to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Thankfully, that had never happened, but he was prepared if it ever did. He paused a moment. If he used the bag now, he would have nothing if he got ill tonight. He took a mental inventory of his bodily functions. He'd vacated his bowels quite nicely this morning and had urinated on schedule throughout the day. His dietary intake was within normal ranges both in quantity as well as nutritional content. The pizza he had for dinner was from a Sheldon-approved restaurant and had arrived at a temperature that limited the chance of any food-borne illness. He felt no oncoming queasiness or nausea. He was reasonably sure that he would not need the bag for its originally intended use that night. He made a mental note to procure another bag at the medical supply store in the morning. Opening the bag, he gently lowered the single hair into it, watching the end curl as it reached the bottom. Letting go of the end, he peered inside to make sure the hair was coiled safely in the bottom. He folded the top over, secured the closure tabs, then pulled a Sharpie pen out of the drawer. He pondered a moment before simply writing AMY on the front of the bag in bold, block letters. He then replaced the pen in its spot, set the bag on its side next to his box of latex gloves and closed the drawer.
…
Knock, knock, knock.
"Penny!"
Knock, knock, knock.
"Penny!"
Knock, knock, knock.
"Penny!"
The door opened to reveal Sheldon's slightly disheveled neighbor, hair rumpled from sleep, her bathrobe wrapped tightly around her as she tied the belt securely.
"Good morning, Sheldon. I'm guessing it's exactly eleven o'clock?"
Sheldon shuffled his feet slightly. He was holding a binder in which were his printed notes on his Valentine's date night with Amy. Until the door opened, he'd been confident that he'd completed his assignments admirably. Suddenly, faced with presenting an oral report on the subject to his mentor, he was not so sure. Amy had seemed quite happy with his gift, but perhaps Penny might have intended that he purchase some expensive trinket. What would she think of the fact that their Valentine's Day evening had been spent at home watching a movie instead of at a dimly-lit restaurant eating overpriced food? When he discussed the details of their physical contact, would Penny think it was too much?
Sheldon was nonplussed. In his entire life, he'd never been nervous about turning in a school assignment. Suddenly he felt his heart racing while his hands were getting clammy. This was INSANE!
"Ummmmmmm."
Penny's eyes widened. "Geez, Sheldon. You're almost as articulate as me this morning. Why don't you come on in? I'll make us some tea, ok?"
Penny backed away from the door and Sheldon hesitantly walked in, fighting the urge to run back to his own apartment. Why, oh why had he entered into this collaboration-turned-graduate course? What irrational impulse had caused him to seek guidance from the proverbial Whore of Babylon? Surely he could have found sufficient instructional information on the Internet? He was relatively sure Wolowitz could have provided any number of links to appropriate websites that would teach him all he needed to know about coitus.
Sheldon heard a sudden crack. He quickly flipped the binder open and realized that he'd been gripping it so tightly that the middle ring snapped. "Get a grip on yourself, Cooper," he muttered, checking to be sure that Penny was well out of earshot in the kitchen area, busily assembling the cups for their tea. "You've decided to do this. You can do this. You WILL do this. Amy deserves to be…what was the word Penny used? Wooed. And you, Sheldon Cooper are here to learn how to woo."
"I'm sorry, Sheldon?" Penny said, walking into the room with two large, steaming mugs, "Did you say something?"
Sheldon accepted one of the mugs and carefully sat down in the chair, which had now become his new spot in Penny's apartment. It wasn't optimal in terms of temperature or airflow, but it did provide the valuable feature of maintaining his distance from Penny. Ever since his admission two weeks before, Penny was a veritable octopus of touching. He felt sure if he sat on the couch she'd undoubtedly be hugging him at every opportunity. It occurred to him that her frequent, pats, one-armed hugs and even her sisterly kisses did not bother him nearly as much as they once would have. And he was fully aware of what she was trying to do. On one level he appreciated her enthusiasm and commitment to the project, but he still felt the need to limit her access when possible, in order to reserve his resources for the main object of his endeavor.
"Earth to Sheldon?"
Penny was leaning across the arm of the couch, waving a hand in front of his face. Sheldon turned and blinked.
"Wow. You completely zoned out there. Is it because you have lots of juicy stuff to report?"
Penny was grinning from ear to ear like the proverbial Cheshire cat. It did nothing to ease Sheldon's nervousness. He set the binder in his lap and leaned over to put the hot mug down on the coffee table.
"I'm sorry, Penny, I was… somewhat… distracted. It won't happen again. I assume you would like me to begin?"
Penny chuckled and took a sip of her tea, "Yes, Sheldon, why don't you begin. First tell me what you got Amy for her first Valentine's Day gift."
Sheldon's heart sank. Penny wanted to know what gift he 'got' for Amy. 'Got' implying purchased. She would surely be disappointed. He prepared himself to receive the first failing grade of his life.
"You… your assignment was to give Amy something that says how important she is." Sheldon paused. Perhaps if he told her that his initial impulse was to get an expensive gift. "Initially I considered a lovely music box in the shape of a miniature harp. It was quite expensive and exquisitely crafted, but I felt that money was no object."
Penny smiled. "That sounds nice. And Amy does love that harp of hers. Did she like the music box?"
Sheldon nervously flipped the cover of the binder in his lap. "I decided against that. It only played one song and the harp Amy has is much bigger and plays many songs."
Penny took a sip of her tea. "Ok. So no music box. Whatcha get her?"
Sheldon drew in a big breath. "I next considered a… map… of the travels of the pilgrims in the Canterbury Tales. As you know, Amy greatly enjoys the Canterbury Tales and can recite many of the tales in the original Middle English."
"Oh… kay." Penny shuddered a moment remembering when Amy recited something that ended with "nether yeya". Penny hadn't understood much, but she was pretty sure she understood what "nether yeya" was. Hopefully, if she could get Sheldon's hands on Amy's nether yeya her own would be safe from any but Leonard's advances. She shook off the memory to get back to the present.
"Not exactly my cup of tea," she sketched a small salute with her cup, "but I get that Amy's really into that sort of highbrow stuff. What did she think of the map?"
"I decided against that, as well. Amy has access to Google maps. She can map anything on the Earth, should she desire to do so."
"Ok, Sheldon. I know what you didn't get her. Do you think you can get on with what you did get her?"
Sheldon reached for his tea. His mouth was suddenly dry and he felt the need to stall for time. He wasn't sure why. No amount of time would make his real gift any better in Penny's assessment." He sipped his tea and swallowed.
"I… gave Amy… a copy of my Cal Tech employee information sheet."
Sheldon looked at Penny. Penny looked at Sheldon. She was waiting, not entirely patiently but waiting.
"Sheldon," she prompted, "What does your employee information sheet have to do with Amy?"
"Well," Sheldon explained, "until recently, it had nothing to do with Amy. But I started thinking about what you said about giving her something that says how important she is. So I made her my emergency contact with the University. It says that should I suddenly develop a brain tumor or become infested with parasites, I want her to be there to share that with me."
Sheldon looked up. To his surprise, Penny was grinning broadly.
"Oh, Sheldon! That's so sweet!"
Of course, Penny had already heard all about the emergency contact from Amy, who had texted her immediately after her date with Sheldon. The exact text had been:
OMG OMG OMG!
OMG OMG OMG!
OMG OMG OMG!
Sheldon made me his emergency contact!
OMG OMG OMG!
OMG OMG OMG!
OMG!
If Leonard gave Penny a stupid piece of paper for Valentine's Day, she'd probably use it to give him a paper cut where it would really hurt. But what could she say, she was a material girl. Still, she understood that Amy saw the change as a real indicator that Sheldon considered her to be a significant part of his life. And Penny didn't mind that Leonard wouldn't be getting all those annoying calls anymore.
Sheldon cocked his head to one side. "You mean. I got it right?"
Penny smiled and leaned over to pat his arm. "Oh, Sweetie, yes, you got it right. You gave Amy something that tells her you want her to be part of your life in an important way. You made her feel special. And that's what this is all about." She reached up and put her hand on Sheldon's shoulder. "A gift isn't necessarily something that you buy." Penny mentally crossed her fingers. Anything she got from Leonard better come in a pretty gift bag with the price tag scratched off. "What you gave Amy was from the heart. And that's what's important."
She rubbed his shoulder blade, then sat back. "Ok, now tell me about your other assignment. What have you been doing about casually touching Amy more often?"
Author's Note: Next up: The Valentine's Day blow-by-blow (pun intended – but let's not get ahead of ourselves!) If you're still with me, thank you. And if you feel so inclined, scroll down a bit and send me your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you.
FF_1807614_ 3/2/2013
