A/N: Pineapple wine XD Hopefully I'm faithful to the characters here to make the relationship a little more plausible. Reviews are welcome! characters (c) USA


IV- Of Gossip and Underhanded Legalities

A few hours previously, Shawn sat down at the Vermont while Lassiter ordered some fortified wine. "Strong stuff already? Sweet! Do I have to worry about tonight's evening rendezvous? 'Cause its Action Movie night and Gus picks. But I swear if he brings another Jason Statham movie…" the fake psychic rambled on before the Head Detective cleared his throat. "Are you done yet?" The momentary lapse of coherence distracted Shawn for a second before returning to the matter at hand. "Yes."

Both men knew that in order for this relationship to be stable (and not get Shawn arrested for 'impersonation of a police consultant') was to keep work and play separated. Yet the only thing on both their minds was the Western case, making the dinner uncomfortably quiet. "I didn't know you played poker, Lassie." Shawn observed to break the ice. "I'm no good at it." "Don't be such a Lass-a-frass; you said the same thing about House of the Dead and Guitar Hero and thanks to them, you're slamming me every other night." The look on Lassiter's face clearly read Shoot me but Spencer reminded him that he wasn't allowed to carry a gun.

"Besides modesty never suited you." The pseudo-psychic added with a sneaky smile. "Like the kettle calling the pot black." Carlton retorted just as their food arrived. Shawn quickly noted that Lassie was emptying his plate at an alarmingly fast rate. "Another 'stake-out' tonight?" "Nope; I have some outside business." The detective replied while also noticing that his lover was hurriedly eating his food. "You?"

"Like I said; Action Movie night over at Psych. You're welcome to join us but please don't bring any home movies." Shawn responded while downing his specially ordered pineapple wine. Lassie's getting an early birthday and Christmas present for this one! The younger Spencer thought when he first tasted the drink and nearly died of happiness (it actually would be a type of rum but hey, if they can make apple wine, who was the grape industry to say that pineapple wouldn't do the job?). Lassiter chuckled for a bit then returned to the task at hand. "No can do, Spencer but I will be back by 11 so if you still want to do something other than the obvious, you're on."

Thirty minutes later, the head detective dropped off Shawn over at his offices, a brand new bottle of pineapple wine in tow before said fake psychic initiated an impromptu make-out session. Shawn was in the middle of removing Lassie's belt when a cell phone rang. Being a stick in the mud, Carlton answered the call while Shawn licked around his neck area. "Lassiter." he managed to say between bouts of moaning.

"Hey, Carlton! I'm not interrupting something, am I?" Juliet's voice replied. "Is that Jules?" Lassiter gave Shawn a pretty straightforward glare to shut up and stop what he was doing but he simply ignored the latter. "Not at all; what is it?" "We kind of need you back at the precinct; it's about the Western case." "I'll be right there." The last syllable was higher than the rest due to Shawn touching around someplace sensitive. "Are you trying to get me to arrest you or better yet kill you?" Lassie scolded half-heartedly as his hands trailed south of the fake psychic's pants. "Too bad only one of those options guarantees me returning the favor." Shawn replied hoarsely. And just like that, he slinked out of the Crown Vic and bid his lover farewell.

Once Lassie was out of sight, Shawn flipped his phone and dialed the Santa Barbara Poker Games and prepared to do what he did best. "Santa Barbara Poker Association, how may I help you?" "Yes, this is Roderick Usher Armstrong; I'm with Terry Western's legal team. I'm calling about some misdemeanors that occurred last night. I just got the fax about it." Shawn answered in what he perceived was a lawyer's voice, "If you'd be so kind to get me a copy of his table during the Invitational, I'm sure I can clear everything up." The gratingly shrill voice on the end replied, "I'm sorry Mr. Armstrong but Mr. Western's dead." "I know but I'd hate for his gambling legacy be soiled by unjust accusations." The younger Spencer added to safe face. There was a brief moment of silence then the secretary said, "Your request will take ten to fifteen minutes to complete; please pick it up by then, thank you very much."

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Shawn was about to press Play when he heard Gus's company car arrive and screech to a halt. "What took you so long? I got us Terry's table video, the full misdemeanor report and, you won't believe it but, PINEAPPLE WINE! If only they made beer!" the fake psychic exclaimed. "For real?" Gus was stupefied at the peculiar beverage but quickly remembered why he had nearly broken a speed limit for. "Lassie's dating again."

The news surprised Shawn; not three hours ago, he and Lassie were making out his car. "Really? How do you know that? And who's the lucky prisoner?" he inquired while taking a gulp of soda. "Juliet O'Hara and I just saw them getting cozy in his house." The pharmaceutical representative didn't expect his best friend to choke on the drink. "JULES AND LASSIE?! Gus, have you been testing the products you're trying to sell to overly-paid assholes?" "My clientele is none of your concern but no. I'm serious, Shawn! He's doing the same thing he did with Lucinda."

As much as Shawn's pride wanted to scream that he, not Juliet, was the one in Lassie's pants, the discovery put some doubt in the other man's intentions. Lassiter said he was checking something out with the Western and ends up home with Jules? Touché, Lassie, but I will find out what your secret diabolical plans are… "Dude, you are such a little gossip monger," "Am not." "Anywho, I got us what we need to find our killer." Shawn declared as he pressed the button and played the video.