Before anybody winges, yes, this is slightly later than i would have liked. Tough! I've been doing options and all that crap and they made me do a Science SAT that was HARD! So hush. This one, i guess, is a little shorter... i dunno i don't keep track of how many words are in each chapter, I would like to ask that you do review my chapters, because, fluff it's hard especially with writers block and homework. Even if it's just a little 'nice' or 'well done' that'll be fine! But whatever's good with you. And if you're not careful, i'll start demanding them in ransom for more chapters like the bratty child i am

ENJOY! XD XD XD

Monster! Xx

FPOV

I HATE SCHOOL SO DANG MUCH!

I mean, my day couldn't have started out any more crap than it had; first, there was a huge argument that involved the whole bunch of us, over how much room in the bathroom I was allowed to take up with my hair products. Then Valkyrie used all the milk so I had to have toast. Toast. I'm a growing boy! I need more than toast in a morning! Although… to be fair I did eat the whole loaf… hence the reason I was slightly later then Val.

Honestly? I would much rather watch Caelan dribble over my Valkyrie that be dribbled on all day. I had arrived promptly on my brand-new-three-hour-ago-buy-Harley and immediately all eyes were on me. I located Valkyrie exiting her Impala from across the car park – whoops my bad parking lot – andshe quickly made her way over to a small group of people by the entrance, not once looking in my direction.

Everybody else is though... CRAP!

I leant against my bike and absentmindedly fiddled with my amazing hair. I silently watched as Valkyrie turned, waved slightly at me, before walking inside, a girl with about thirty different colours in her hair at her side.

Are there thirty different colours?

Fluff if I know, the only thing to do with hair I know about is gel.

I love my gel.

"Hey, crazy hair guy, do you know that girl?" A tall guy with dark hair was standing next to me, indicating to where Valkyrie had just been standing.

Back off, matey.

"What if I do?"

"Is she taken?"

Yes! I claim her! She's mine! Go screw yourself! Stay awaaaaaay from my girl!

"No." I mumbled.

You, my friend, are a douche.

"Well then, time for me to make my move." He rubbed his hands together and wiggled his eye brows suggestively at me, before starting to move away.

Oh hell no!

I grabbed his collar and yanked him back before he could get too far away. "Can I just ask?" I slammed him against the nearest car. "Who the hell are you? Staking a claim on my friend like that?"

"Hey, man, I thought you said you didn't know her!"

"I said she wasn't taken, but that doesn't mean you can swoop down like a freaking hawk on a girl you don't deserve." I growled.

"Ok! Geez, step off!" he shoved me in the stomach and was met with my rock solid abs. yeah, I run like a chicken and about as fast as one with one leg, but Val kept yelling at me whenever she beat me at sparring.

Not wanting another kafuffle, I moved away from him. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Fletcher Renn. You?"

"Lake River."

"That's the crappyest name I've ever heard."

And that's saying a lot, Skulduggery Pleasant. PAH! He's a pain in my arse!

"Says you Mr. Renn, what kind of a name is Fletcher anyway? Were your parents pissed?"

I narrowed my eyes into tiny slits at the annoying boy. "Please leave now." He shook his head before rejoining his group of friends who were gathering like cattle around the benches. But, just as he left, another student walked up to me. She was tall, with greenish looking blond hair… so it wasn't really blond but details, details! She was wearing a mini skirt with multi-coloured tights on and a The Wanted tee shirt on. "Well hello." She purred, walking up to me with confidence that scared the crap out of me.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwww!

"What's your name?" she leaned in close to me. I moved back four paces.

"Erm… Fletcher… you?"

Do not touch her. She is probably teeming with disgusting things like lice, germs, and makeup.

"My name's Sian. Sian River."

"Oh… wow… I met your brother… he's…" a stupid dick "nice. Look, I gotta go bye!"

To say I ran is an understatement.

First period, I left the classroom thoroughly disturbed. It seems that the females of this school have not had any… fresh meat in a while. I'm the fresh meat. And the lions are hungry. That's why when I left first period I had seven lunch invitations and a suspicious wet patch on my shoulder. I have my suspicions that it is, indeed, dribble.

Thankfully though, the rest of my classes include Valkyrie, and I'll be dammed if I'm gonna sit next to anyone else!

As Valkyrie and I strode into the English classroom at last period, all eyes turned to us. As we walked down the middle of the desks to the back row, Lake stood from his chair and planted himself firmly in front of us.

"Hey, Val." He grinned at her. Crazy girl grinned back.

"Hey, Lake. Have you met Fletcher?" crazy guy looked my up and down

Yeah. Look at what you can't compare to.

"Yeah, we've met before."

"Oh great! So… erm… me and Fletch are just gonna sit down." She hinted subtly that he should move his ass.

"Ok."

He didn't move.

"Lake you need to move out the way." She motioned with her hands.

"Maybe I wanna keep talking to you? Why doesn't Fletch go sit down?"

"Why don't you listen to what you're being told to do?" I snarled back.

"Come on then, ass wipe, why don't make me?"

"You want me to come over there and do it?"

"Gentlemen!"

We all turned to see a very angry/concerned looking Tanith standing with her hands on her hips like a disapproving mother. "Is there a problem here?"

"Nope. Aside from this asshole that won't move." She raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"Mr. River, I suggest you take your seat and do not disturb this lesson again, understood?"

He nodded and sat in his chair. Valkyrie and I walked over to her double desk at the back of the room and sat down.

Tanith sent me a supportive and knowing smile from the front of the room before beginning her lecture on punctuation. And how it 'saves lives'.

Meaning if Tanith finds a ransom note where your grammar is atrocious, and you have no commas or full stops. I'm not even kidding but she will hunt you down and kill you.

VPOV.

Douche bag!

I cannot believe that Lake would pick a fight with Fletcher like that! I have never seen Fletcher mad before. Ever. And Lake just really seemed to piss him off. I turned to look at him, where he was sitting to my right.

"You ok?" I whispered, not wanting to interrupt Tanith's rant on if we get grammar wrong, we'll see her after school.

But I already do!

"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered shortly.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure, Val." She smiled and put his arm on the back of my chair, around my shoulders.

Natural instinct was to shove his arm off, but, because it was Fletcher, I let him keep it there.

It made me feel safe, too.