A/N I'm not sure how long exactly it's been since an update, but it feels like a while to me, cause I got kinda stuck. So actually, you can thank Adrenaline Write for a faster update. I will too! Thanks, Adrenaline. :)
So here I present to you, not a letter between Gale and Katniss, but a letter between another pair that will never be. *sniff* Haymitch and Maysilee. (Haysilee. They have a perfect couple name, don't they?) I'm branching out from Gale and Katniss because 1) they can't write depressing letters their entire lives and 2) they've kind of run out of big things to say. So that's why I'm branching out.
And that leads me into my next thing I wanted to tell you guys: I put up a poll in my profile- Whose letters do you want to see in Longer Than I've Known You? I put up all the options I could think of, and left an 'Other' option for all the ones I couldn't. If you have one of those ' other' ideas, shoot me a message telling me who. So, please go vote, it would make me very happy. :) There are a few letters (like Gale to Prim, and Katniss to Prim), that I'm planning on writing but just haven't gotten in the mood/mindset to. So those are coming, but in the meantime I'd be happy for some suggestions/ideas.
I'll shut up, sorry. Enjoy! Reviews are muuuch appreciated. ;)
Maysilee,
You'd think it'd be easier to forget you. Sometimes things don't work the way you want them to. The memories you try to cling to start to fade away, and the images you want to get rid of seemed like they're burned to your eyelids. Whenever you close your eyes, there they are.
Avoid the dark at all costs. Don't close your eyes, because you don't know what's going to happen when you do.
Sometimes, when I think of you, I try to decide who got the better deal.
You died, and I lived. I won. But the Games don't end there. The moment you're reaped, your whole life becomes a game. There's only one player in this game, and he likes to cheat. Unless you're under his thumb, something must be done. Even when you're under his thumb, sometimes he gives you little reminders. I would say taking my family from me is a perfect reminder.
He took you from your family, but he did the same thing to me. I wasn't the same person when I came back to my family. After a while, it didn't matter anymore. They were gone before the next Games even started.
I had to mentor then. I was alone, and I was sixteen. As I got older, I didn't care anymore about the kids being sent into the arena. But even when I used to care, I was still responsible for the deaths of two kids, every year for 23 years. Because I couldn't save a damned one.
And when I try to decide who got the better deal, I almost always come to the same conclusion.
I think it was you.
And now it's all over. I don't know what to think. It's too late for me to get better. The only thing I can say is that I'm not going to waste what's given to me. So I'll live the rest of my life, no matter how twisted it's become. Far too many lives have been wasted already, some by me, and it can be my self-inflicted punishment to live out my life until whatever damned person in charge will let me die.
When I die, I think I may welcome it. Because whatever happens next, I don't want to be a part of it. I'm done being a player in the Games.
Haymitch
